All Comments on 'A Heart Made of Branches'

You usually do a good job of getting into the heads of your characters, and of richly detailing the setting. Therefore, as as a religious Jew, I was intrigued to read your perspective. Unfortunately, this is not one of your best efforts. In a lot of ways, Max's character isn't fully developed, and his sudden use of degrading language seems out of place. Also, I think I can safely say that a lot of the religious detail in this story is off, and that really brings the story down since the religious detail is so central. For example, in a real-life Jewish commune such as you've described, if they're putting on a show to the extent that the men & women sit separately, no way would a resident woman be wearing jeans - she'd be wearing a long skirt & a very modest top. Also, the examples you gave regarding Sabbath laws were mostly inaccurate. A person who would not turn on a light on the Sabbath also would not turn on or crank up a heater, as happened several times. All in all, while the Kabbalah part was well-researched, I felt like you needed to set an overall level of observance for the community - private & public both - & stick to it, because as is it's not just Elly & Max's behavior that stands out as religiously questionable.

sick mind

I cannot speak to the religious content, only to the heart and mind of a submissive responding to her dominant...and to that, you speak true. The visual nature of ecstasy is brilliantly portrayed, and I am grateful for your efforts.

I agree with the previous poster about the accuracy of the religious content - small details that are distracting to a Jew who knows, but overall and for the general audience, beautifully captured scenes.

In particular, linking the Kabbalistic Tree of Life to the physical union of man and woman, worked well for me. It is the reconnecting of the soul that was split at the moment of birth that creates the greatest love between two people, once they find each other. That magnetic attraction is irrepressible, regardless of life circumstances, as we saw between Elly and Max (and actually what I am experiencing in my life now, "coincidentally").

As well, I loved the heart of branches that appeared as a sign to signal the return of Elly's soul counterpart, and was no longer once the sign became redundant. This, too, resonates with me as the way spiritual life signs work.

All in all, a beautiful submission (in both senses of the word).

I love the build-up. Who hasn't felt this way in the presence of someone so magnetic? Thanks for a very intense and beautiful story.

I've read this three times today, as if trying to recapture my first experience of it, looking for that heart in the branches.

As for the criticism expressed here, I can't speak too much to the mistakes, if there are any, in terms of the Jewish faith, but to me, you suspended disbelief by talking about the community as an anomoly in the tradition. It made it even more poignant to me, and rather the point, finding the sacred in the mundane. The "spirit" of the law, rather than the "letter" perhaps?

Max would read the criticism and have a good chuckle!

As always, the magnetic, breathless attraction between your characters gave me divine sustenance. A beautiful testament. I know I'll read this again and again - a true light in the darkness.

Only we Jews would quibble over the religious accuracy of erotica! I did notice a few slip-ups, but none were serious enough to be distractive. I enjoyed this story, and was impressed by your seamless incorporation of religion. Nevermind all those "hole in a sheet" jokes--we Jews are not prudes, and it doesn't seem at all strange to combine sex with a religious element.

""The miracle is, we're here, with our little candles and our human hearts. That's the miracle."

Candles, yes. And hearts - tender, questing, vulnerable. And speaking of vulnerability, let's not forget the ropes...

Thank you for this, Zoot. Once again, you've achieved a detente between religious faith and erotic fulfillment, two human hungers that shouldn't be mutually exclusive in our culture, but often seem to be. I felt good after reading this; my first inkling of the feeling that it'll be Christmas soon, and that maybe I can find some holiday spirit and a bit more good will. Some ropes would help get me in a celebratory mood. But that'll be up to Santa.

Happy Hanukka.

I decided to give this story a read because I don't think I'd ever encountered a Hanukkah story in this competition. There were a couple of glitches, but not so as to spoil things. I like the rich detail and erudition you brought to it. The heart made of branches that was there and then wasn't there (but it was there) is a lovely parable. this tale was enough to make me wish I were Jewish.

WRONG WRONG WRONG

I thought it was a very well written piece of erotica. I am not Jewish, but I am curious, If some readers were offended because it was set at Hanukah , why are they reading porn on Hanukah ?

This story was fucking sexy... and I learned a little too.

Just incredibly well written. I don't know anyone but you who could use "inchoate" in a sex scene and keep it spicy and make it work. I read the comments and I understand how someone learned in Judaism would be unable to suspend their disbelief at all times, but that seems pretty unimportant to me--certainly fixable, if it matters that much (on the other hand, I don't forsee this being published in the Daily Forward lol). The fact that you wrote a story about two observant Jews (even if one is having a crisis of belief) and delivered all this information to secular readers and made it work is amazing. Amazing because it works as erotica and as a story of a dawning relationship between two Jews. The writing is some of your best, imo, very poetic, full of great images and analogies and metaphors. True, Max is less developed as a character--and arguably therefore less believable--than Elly, but given that the story is told from her POV, I think that's understandable. To make him more developed, you'd have to rewrite it in third person and then, I think, it would lose some of its urgency, which is essential to making the erotica work. I also saw some typos and some verb tense shifts (hah!), but again, nothing that can't be fixed. Really wonderful writing! Well done, my landsman. :-)

It's hot and smart and beautiful, and touches on the spiritual aspect of sex, not just the various contortions two (or more) people can use in the act. Depth, charm, and deep longing... I'll definitely be reading this one again. Thank you for sharing it with us all.

One of the finest pieces of writing I've encountered anywhere. Loved it completely. OK, they shouldn't have lit Hanukkah candles after the shabbes candles, or transferred fire, or a few other things, but only a nudnik would make a big deal. I wanted to be Elly, wanted to be with Max. Heck, I'll mop up the chicken soup if it'll bring him into my bed...

Not being Jewish I have no idea if the religious practices are accurate or not. But the connection between spirituality and sexuality has fascinated me for a very long time. And I believe you pulled them together in a beautiful, sweet, and completely accurate way.

I took a course in grad school on the history of Jewish Mysticism. The professor, a Jewish theologian (who made it clear on the first day of class that he himself was quite wary of mysticism), was fond of telling us, "Three Jews, five opinions." Being a good Episcopalian myself, I can relate--though I would never presume to say I understand.

I certainly do NOT have the knowledge or background to critique the accuracy of the portrayal of this community's observance, but I know enough that I noticed a few things I found surprising. Maybe I was "reading in," but for me those surprising features functioned as telling details painting a vivid picture of this specific community, the individuals inhabiting it, and their deep commitment to a daily, living relationship with the One they call "adonai."

But that's probably my binary-busting, construction-questioning, queer Christian social location talking.

I loved your characters and having grown up orthodox I can appreciate the setting. We need more erotic Jewish stories. I can help you here if you want. There are a lot of factual issues with the Judaism you describe though the kabbalah works really well. I can't tell you how much I love what you've done but the inconsistencies really pulled me out of the story. If you ever want to edit it give me a shout.

My path is not a jewish one, so the accuracy of their beliefs concerns me not, I do not visit this site for a history lesson. Just saying...

I love how you combined spirituality with raw desire...I felt their passion through your words and every sting of the whip...never stop writing! As I've said before, the powers that be has honored you with a great gift!

Midnight S

It is rare to find well written piece of fiction on most websites, but this was an incredibly pleasant surprise.

Just wonderfulness. You have talent as a writer.

Kudoes on the eroticism. I love build up.

I've read this story a few times now and I always enjoy it. Not just the sex (which I love), but it's just plain good writing. I also think there's an excellent proportion of sexuality to story. As much as I LOVE some of the true "stories" that are on this site, sometimes I want something a little shorter!! This story wins out in terms of brevity:quality!!

Loved everything here!

Do you or don't you? Are you or aren't you? And ultimately, it doesn't matter, does it? Thank you for the story, it captures the spirit and the heart.

Ah... Further proof that the "hole in the sheet" is actually a friction burn. And for those who bemoan the lack of accuracy in following the Traditions-- remember, if we followed the original rules completely, instead of the post-Diaspora medieval Ashkenazik versions, then the story would end with Elly being stoned to death outside her father's door.

Or, as soon as we introduced female rabbinical students, we were already no longer Orthodox... Cut the author some slack, already!

This story is the difference between porn and art.

Surely sharing a pork sword in this way is not kosher!

Amazingly well written.

Fantastic study of religion and sexuality.

Your prose is viscous and sweet. Superb.

Amongst the hundreds ( thousands ? ) of stories on Literotica, there is so much dross; but sometimes you find gold. This atheist struggled a bit with the Jewish customs and religious references and had to re-read a few bits, but all worth it. What a lovely piece of writing, just poetry .....

Like I stole a book by a respected author, printed by an established publisher: it's really that well written.

Have not read much modern Judaica, so have little to compare to, but: superior to Bernard Malamud; certainly on par with Philip Roth.

Thank you, o stranger!

Thanks for relieving so many Jewesses of their guilt. Oh... also, for one of the most easily understood explanations of (a portion of) Kabbalah I’ve ever seen.

I love your writing as a whole, but this story is especially poignant and brilliant with so many layers revealed through pure poetry of the soul. Sexy, Fun, Cheeky, laden with Jewish Guilt, Latkes, Hanukkah, bondage, perspective and wonderful references to kabbalah & Judaism, I mean what a fantastically sexy neurotic erotic story! ;) Thanks for writing these

The Jewish law part was a bit odd and confusing

But the sexual surrender and craving was beautiful. And nice jewish girls often crave spanking and nudity