A House Divided Ch. 01

As luck would have it, Dave was out of town, but due back tomorrow, Friday afternoon. I left a message on his phone to call me and I hoped I would hear from him before it was too late. I had boiled down my real alternatives to two: Don't go and risk dissolving the marriage or Go, knowing that it would mean the end of my business and the loss of our lovely home. I had no illusions about selling the business. I would have to virtually shepherd a new owner through the client and supplier list and make sure they would be able to convert my customers to their agency. There was no guarantee that they would be successful at this conversion. I would have to choose a potential buyer very carefully. The value of the business was my client list. How would someone else view that value? My only equity was my reputation. That was not for sale.

I realized I had to think first and foremost about my marriage and our children. While I viewed Jo's decision as selfish; it might be said that I was being selfish if I refused to support her to protect my status quo. It didn't matter what I did, somewhere along the line there was going to be some hurt. I finished my coffee and headed for the garage and off to work.

I didn't concentrate very well that particular Thursday. I was unable to shake the two doomsday scenarios from my mind. Go or Stay. Stay or Go. I spent a bit of time looking for an unsolicited letter of interest I had received a couple of years ago. One of the big boys was sniffing around, suggesting they might be interested in buying me out. I had no interest at the time, but it wouldn't hurt to remind myself who they were and take note of the contact. It took me an hour or so, but I finally found it. I put it in my briefcase and tried to get back to my daily routine. By three that afternoon, I gave up, put the phone on call-forward and headed home.

Jo arrived just before six; pretty much her normal time. She seemed in a better mood and I was hoping that we could have a more rational discussion after dinner. I couldn't see any more options than the two I had already identified. Both Pete and Lindsay were home tonight, so if we wanted to let them in on what was going on, this would be the night. Friday was baseball for Pete and Lindsay usually hung out with her friends on Friday's until curfew at ten. Saturday was no better and leaving it until Sunday was pushing things to the limit.

"How was your day?" I asked.

"Busy. Too much to do in too short a time. How about you?"

"Not very productive. I was pretty distracted. I left early and came home."

She looked at me, probably wondering what I was thinking. "We should talk after dinner." she said.

"I agree. I also think we need to tell the kids what's going on. The're going to be out tomorrow and you know what Saturday is like. Sunday would be leaving it very late."

"OK. We can at least fill them in on the basics." she said a bit more positively.

Our evening meal was a lot more sociable than the previous night's and the kids kept the conversation light and moving.

"Family meeting after dishes tonight, gang." Jo announced.

Pete and Lindsay looked up with questioning glances at their mother and then me.

"What's up?" Pete asked.

"We'll talk about it then." Jo said firmly. She didn't leave room for further discussion.

Shortly after the dishes were washed and put away, I rounded up Pete and Lindsay and we all met in the kitchen. It was our traditional place for 'family meetings', although I don't think we'd ever had one with the implications of this one.

'Your meeting, mother." I said.

Jo looked at me and turned toward our children. "I have been offered a very important job with the agency. I will be a Vice President of Market Development for the whole corporation. It's something I didn't expect and I have to give the company an answer on Monday morning."

"Wow, that sounds great mom." Pete enthused. "When do you start?"

"Right away, but ... there's a catch. I ... I mean ... we would have to move to Chicago." she said uncertainly.

Lindsay's eyes opened wide. "You mean we'd have to move? Oh no, I can't. I don't want to. Do I have to go too?" she asked in a plaintive voice.

"Of course you would. Don't be silly. Lots of people move to different cities." Jo was being dismissive of Lindsay's concerns. I thought it was time to temper the conversation.

"Well, obviously, we wouldn't be moving until the school year was done at the earliest." I offered.

"Are you just going to go and leave us mom?" Lindsay asked, tears beginning to form.

"Of course not.! I'll be home on the weekends until you finish school and we can find a new home." she said abruptly.

"Are you going to be around for my graduation?" Pete asked, not looking at his mother.

"What kind of a question is that?" she spat. "Of course I will!"

"I guess that means I won't be going to U. of M. then." Pete said sadly, looking at me.

"Don't get too far ahead of yourself, Pete. We can discuss these kinds of things as time goes on. Nothing is written in stone yet." I said quietly in what I hoped was a conciliatory voice.

"Your father's right. None of that is important right this minute. There are other more important things to consider." she said offhandedly.

"Like what." Pete snapped.

"Like what happens to your father's business. Like selling this house. Like finding a new house. Like that!" She had increased her volume and shortened her temper all at the same time.

"Let's all take a breather." I suggested. "This is a stressful situation and I know it's going to be hard on everyone. It can't be helped." I had hoped this would diffuse some of the building hostility I could feel in the room. I walked to the fridge and pulled out the water jug. "Anyone want some water?" No answer. I poured myself a glass and returned to the table.

"Look, we can't know all the answers tonight. There's a lot to be decided yet and we'll need time to sort it all out. We just wanted you to know that your mother has been given an amazing offer of promotion and that means changes for us no matter what. Don't go getting all knotted up over it just yet, OK?" It was my best effort toward diluting the tension.

"Your father's right. Let's just sleep on it and see what happens next." Jo said more optimistically.

The meeting adjourned but I wasn't sure our son and daughter were very convinced that everything was going to be OK. The rest of the evening went more normally. Jo and I watched a bit of TV until our regular bedtime and we went through our normal routine preparing for bed.

As we lay beside each other in the dark, I knew neither of us would be asleep anytime soon. The turmoil and tension had returned from the previous day and I knew we would have to talk about it. Surprisingly, it was Jo who opened up.

"You handled the meeting really well, Mark. Thank you. I was close to losing it for a minute." she confessed.

"They're scared, Jo. They don't know what to expect and it's all a surprise. They haven't had any time to absorb it." I explained. "Unfortunately, neither have we." I continued.

"I know. I can't think of how to make this work for both of us. They haven't given me any time to try and work out a solution." She was speaking quietly and I could hear the concern in her voice. "I'm afraid Mark."

"Of what, Jo?"

"Of us ... our marriage." She was close to tears. "This isn't going to be easy no matter what we decide."

"What would happen to your career if you turned down the promotion?" I asked

"Nothing, I guess. We'd just go on as before." There was a silence for a moment. "Are you asking me to turn this job down?"

"I wouldn't do that to you, Jo. It's your decision. I just want to make sure you think about all the consequences that come from this decision, no matter what you decide."

"There aren't any consequences if I turn it down." she said softly.

"Yes there are. You'd be disappointed and you'd always wonder 'what if'."

"Why did you ask me then?" she asked, her head turning toward me.

"I wanted you to understand that no matter what, there are always after effects. They can't be avoided."

"I suppose." she sighed wearily.

"I left a message for a friend of mine; you might remember him; Dave Wainwright." There was no response from Jo. "He's always someone I can count on for common sense advice. Maybe he can see something I can't that will help us out of this problem."

"When do you expect to talk to him?" she asked unenthusiastically.

"Maybe tomorrow night or Saturday."

We fell silent for a while. I knew she was wide awake, just as I was.

"I'm going to take the job, Mark. If you love me, you'll find a way to make it work." she said in a quiet level voice.

Kerblammo! The monkey on my back had just turned into a gorilla.

"I guess there isn't much more to be said then." I said sadly.

"Do you love me, Mark." she asked with what sounded like tears. "You know I love you."

"Of course I do. Why would you think anything else?"

She turned toward me and her arm pulled me toward her as she kissed me. There was a desperate sense about her implied passion and it was clear she wanted me to make love to her to prove ... something. I loved her deeply and that would never change, no matter what she decided. I could only hope she truly loved me and was prepared for the future that would test that love to its breaking point.

We made love in a slow and almost sad way; as if we were already parting. I could feel and taste the tears she was shedding and I was close myself to joining her. When we had finished and we lay in each others arms, I had a sense that it would be a long time before we would share this intimacy again.

-0-

On Friday morning I was up a little earlier than Jo and I had awoken with the realization we had not discussed the move with our parents. Jo's parents still lived near Apple Valley and mine were still in Eden Prairie. They were used to seeing us on a regular basis and the thought of their only two grandchildren moving several hundred miles away would not be easy to accept. When Jo walked into the kitchen I suggested we each call our own parents and she readily agreed. She said she would phone her parents from her office today and I told her I would do the same with my folks.

I had slept better than I expected considering I now knew my fate. Jo was taking the job and it was my decision on how to handle this change. She had successfully shifted the responsibility onto my shoulders and there wasn't a thing I could do about it that wouldn't result in chaos. I truly loved her, so now it was up to me to find a way to live with this major change in our lives.

I phoned Mom and Dad just after ten Friday morning and broke the news to them. Dad immediately understood the implications of the decision and asked a number of direct questions about my business. I did my best to be optimistic to both of them, but I could tell they were hurt and disappointed. I doubted my father would tell my mother what it would mean to me in terms of my business. I had assured them we would be here at least until the end of the school year in June and then with the sale of the business and the house, probably some weeks if not months beyond that. I think they recognized it was delaying the inevitable, but Dad was somewhat less upset since he could drive to Chicago in a day; the distance was barely 400 miles.

Dave Wainwright phoned just after four and we agreed to meet for a beer at a local pub at five. I phoned home and left a message with Lindsay that I would be a few minutes late getting home for dinner. I hoped that Lindsay would remember to tell her mother. I met Dave at an Irish Pub not far from his office and we each ordered a pint of Harp and sat in a small corner booth. It was a typical Friday afternoon and the place would soon be full and noisy. I told Dave of Jo's promotion and the way the decision had been dumped on my shoulders and waited for him to do his usual thing; ask pertinent questions. What I like about Dave is that he doesn't dance around the subject; he gets to the heart of the matter.

"Well, she's already decided to take the job. She probably decided that about one second after they offered it to her. So, given that you both swear you love each other and don't want to destroy the marriage, you need to do a couple of things. First and foremost, you need to sell the business. That's going to be the most time consuming and stressful action. Secondly, you need to help Pete decide which college he wants to go to. Third, you need to find time to get to Chicago and help Jo find a place to live. My guess is that she is going to be more than very busy with the new job and she isn't going to have a lot of time to work on finding a home. You're also going to have to find someone to look after the kids while you are away. Maybe your parents can help temporarily. They aren't little kids so it won't be so demanding on the grandparents."

As usual, Dave had summarized the situation in simple terms and stated the obvious. I knew all the things he had pointed out, but he at least confirmed I hadn't missed anything. Well, almost nothing.

"I also have to sell the house and that's going to hurt the most. We put our heart and soul into that place and I don't know how I'm going to find anything like it anywhere." I said sorrowfully.

"Maybe not. Why don't you keep it. You don't owe any money on it and you could rent it out to a responsible family and it would still be yours." Dave said looking at me thoughtfully.

"Hmmm ... that might work. It would provide some income that would pay the taxes and upkeep plus a bit more. It would still be in the family, but god knows when we'd ever live there again." I said.

"You never know, Mark. This job Jo's taking isn't going to be a piece of cake. She's working for a public company and they are going to be under pressure to grow both the top line and the bottom line. Her job is to find new markets for growth and the competition in her field is fierce; it isn't going to be easy. They're a national company and that means they're going to be looking for business everywhere and that means travel. People in those jobs often burn out just from the stress and the promises that other people make to the shareholders that she'll end up having to keep. She may find this job isn't what she thinks it is."

I looked at Dave and saw that he was serious. If it didn't work out for Jo, we would need a place to live and the house would still be ours. But I also knew that if his description of her likely responsibilities were right, we would be seeing little of her for some months. I could only hope the worst of it would be over by the time we got to Chicago.

"I don't think I'll say anything about not selling the house to Jo, Dave. She might interpret that as a lack of faith or maybe that I didn't expect the marriage to work or something like that."

"I think that's wise, Mark. You've got lots of time to assess what's happening before you have to finalize that decision."

"Well, as usual, you've been a big help. I didn't miss anything except not selling the house and that's a super suggestion. I really appreciate your lending me some time, Dave."

"You're going to be missed around here Mark. There's a hell of a lot of people who don't know anyone else to call in your business besides you. That's going to be hard to give up."

"Thanks for cheering me up, Dave!" I laughed.

"No problem." he laughed back at me.

We finished our beers, shook hands and headed off to our homes in the usual Friday night rush hour traffic.

Our weekend was more or less typical. The kids had lots to do on Saturday and I had my usual collection of repairs, maintenance and errands to look after. The lawn was cut by Pete, but the rest was up to me. Jo had called her parents on Friday morning and they were quite upset that she would be moving. Despite the fact that it was only a few hundred miles, they felt like it was a long way away and they wouldn't see us very much any more. I didn't suggest to Jo that they were probably right. She had recovered her usual pleasant disposition since she finally admitted her decision to me. For my part, I had decided that the best time for us to discuss these issues was in bed. I had resigned myself to my course of action. I would begin almost immediately to seek a buyer for the business. Tonight, Jo and I could discuss Pete's plans for college. I knew he had his heart set on U. of M. and I didn't see why he shouldn't enroll there. He would have to live on campus, but we had the financial wherewithal to make that happen and Pete was responsible young man. We trusted him and being away from home at school would be a maturing experience for him. I didn't expect resistance from his mother.

I was more worried about his sister, Lindsay. Unlike most siblings, Pete and Lindsay were close. Pete was her protector and I can recall many a time when Lindsay would go to Pete for help or advice before she went to her mother or me. She was going to lose her home, her friends and her brother all in a short period of time. A young fifteen year old girl has enough angst in her life with out compounding it with all these stresses as well. I was ill equipped to deal with a difficult teenage girl and I was pretty sure her mother was not going to be regularly available to manage the situation. I decided not to burden Jo with my concerns on Lindsay quite yet, although I would mention the compounding changes she would be facing and then hope her mother picked up the vibrations.

That night, in our bed, I thought I had better find out Jo's immediate plans.

"When will you be going to Chicago?" I asked.

"Monday afternoon, I think." she said quietly.

"Where will you stay?"

"The company has an apartment near the office downtown. I'll be there for a while."

"I'll miss you. It won't be the same here."

"I'll miss you too."

"You think we have a chance to make this work?" I asked without thinking.

"We have to." was her simple answer.

"Yah, I guess so." We lay silently for a minute or two. "I'll start looking for a buyer for the business on Monday. I'm hoping there will be a lot of interest. It's a good territory."

"I think you're right."

"You know Pete wants to go to U. of M. I'm OK with that if you are."

"He'll have to live on campus. It'll be expensive."

"I didn't think money would be an object. I can always pay for it out of the sale of the business."

"You don't have to do that. We can afford it now."

"Lindsay's really going to miss him."

"I suppose. She knew he was going to University, so she must expect him to be gone sooner or later."

"A penny for your thoughts." I said after another long silence.

"I don't know what I'm thinking. I don't know what to expect. It's all going to be new. I expect a lot of pressure and long days for a while. I hope the worst of it will be over by the time you, Pete and Lindsay get there. I'm a bit nervous about it to tell the truth." she finally admitted.

"That's understandable. It's a public company and the pressure will come from the shareholders. They always want growth and they always want better profits. A lot of that growth will fall to your department I assume."

"Yes, it will. That's why they gave me the job. They want to almost double their size in the next three years."

"Wow, is that reasonable?"

"I don't know. I guess I'll find out in the first six months. I haven't got a clue what kind of a staff I have. I may have to make a lot of changes if they can't cut it."

"Don't forget. Somewhere along the line, it's supposed to be fun." I reminded her.

"I don't think these guys are into fun; except maybe after hours." she said cryptically.

"Watch yourself, Jo. You're going to be a target for some of these guys."