All Comments on 'A House Divided Ch. 02'

not much really happened, did it?

Pat did not take our friend down immediately. The possibility of selling the house and business did not get a red flag. In fact he could retire on the nest egg. Definitely moving to Chicago would be a good option if Lindsay would accept it. Though living together with the VP might be very stressing! Finally she did not cancel the trip at the last minute,give him a cold shoulder or precipitate conflicts! The only thing is that problem of her strange traveling clothes!

... but I think that something was going on. I should read it between the lines of coaster2's story. HDK don't be so impatient. Wheather/when (I'm not sure about the right word) I read the story-tags below the end of chapter 2 I would expect something serious.

<p><b>Nucleus</b></p>

at first glance it seems like Nothing has happened.

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One might wonder IF there is going to be ANY cheating at all. That would not bother me per se but a lot of readers would freak. Maybe this is a story of wife who lost her values adopted new ones... and LOST her family over time.

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Maybe the husband is going to cheat ? I hope the author doesnt go this way. Given how he developed the husband and his concerns over what the wife is doing to the family He does not strike me as a guy who would cheat FIRST.

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At this point the wife has been home Twice -- including the long Memorial day weekend she almost forgot about!

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<b>Wasnt the agreement from Chapt 1 they agreed was suppose that the wife was suppose to come home every or most weekends? Chicago to Minneapolis is 40 min flight and the commuter hops run every hour at peak times. Sure sometimes she might have to travel or something Might comes up. </b>

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But Twice in 3 months?

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If that is going to be the case wouldnt she be calling her beloved husband and Kids a lot MORE more often? Instead she is calling less!!!

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Imagine being married to someone this long... she breaks the weekend agreement ALL the time and she goes days and days and days and days without Calling!??

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Clues.....

to make it LW. I not sure of the state about about inflicting things on each other. As far as I can read she laid down a complete plan and his choice was to accept it or accept it, nothing else. The one making compromises here is him not her. He is being father mothen and provider for the home and children. She is just doing what she wants with no responsiblity or contribution to the whole. A wife, no not in this life. She is but a liablity to the family nothing more, nothing else, will she learn it in time to actually keep herself in the family is the question?

<p>I sure hope the writer brings this together ... quickly. We've got the picture, writer.</p>

<p>Ron123XYZ@foreveranonymous.naturally</p>

with a train wreck? Frequently it was a washed out bridge that caused it. Once the train passed the last checkpoint there was no way to let the engineer know that he was heading into danger.

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That's how I feel about this story. There's a train wreck coming, and even Mark doesn't seem to be willing to do anything about it.

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I'm loving the story, but I'm having a bit of trouble buying part of it. I guess my biggest problem is the phone calls. Women talk! If a woman stops talking you've got major problems. I don't care how tired she is, she's talking to someone, sharing her burden or just plain unloading on someone and it isn't her husband!

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Yes, Mark is in danger from being so lonely, but he's also ignoring all the warning signs. I don't know what to make of her traveling clothes... except that they're new and she had to have time to shop.

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Finally, I don't like what I see of Pat. No, she hasn't done anything out of line... although a dinner alone is close to the line. However, she also seems to be playing a game.

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Sigh, I hate stories posted by chapters. I'm a very fast reader and I hate to wait two more days to see how this thing ends. I will say this, with as much time and detail as the author has put into the build up, I do expect a great deal of detail about the train wreck... or the near miss.

The good stuff: coaster2's prose reads well, the scenes are well done, and the characters act believably. The bad part: the story should move along, rather more briskly than less. Chapter Two told us nothing that we didn't expect from Chapter One save Pat's appearance in the story. We knew Jo was going to Chicago, we knew it would make things difficult for the family, we knew she was overly focused on her job instead of her loved ones, we knew his business would sell for big bucks as would the house. In other words, you expended an awful lot of verbiage for not much literary gain. No cookie for you.

I believe that sooner or later Mark and Pat might end up doing something that he'll regret. He's lonely, she's lonely, he keeps inviting her over (trouble). That's how it starts, he needs a shoulder to cry on and then one thing leads to another and BAM! They end up naked on the patio. The writer just needs to pick up the pace, but it still has me interested.

it flows pretty well. and the length is just fine.

spend some time to develop the daughter and son characters. other than their name and age, i dont know these character. they are part of the family. i know enough of the neighbor. now make it more real by also including the kids.

Some readers think that Pat and Mark will become a problem between Mark and Jo. Hey, Jo told Mark that it was ok to talk to Pat about their problems that this new job is creating. No matter what happens between Mark and Jo, it won't be anyones fault except for Jo. Jo would have said or agreed with anything that would allow her to run off to Chicago.

Also, why didn't Jo ask about the house or business? Maybe she really does not want Mark to move to Chicago.

Jo should realize that in a marriage that affects 4 people, you just can't change everyone's life as drasticly as she has without some serious consequences. In any case, I think there is trouble ahead for Mark and Jo

Just remember all you husband haters out there, Jo started all this CRAP.

You may have waited a lifetime as you say, but rest assured you can tell a story.

about the story is that we can only guess where it will go. A lot of different things could happen, given the story so far, and we are totally at coaster's mercy--we have to just wait and let him take us where he wants us to go. Well-done!

ohio

The writing is still very good but we don't seem to be getting anywhere. With all of her business travels, she should have time in the airport to call hubby. And the two cities being so close its a wonder she can't get home more. So it looks like she's got a lover taking care of her most of the time. I guess its time for hubby and Pat to start getting closer. Please don't keep us waiting too long.

I just can't get over the implausibility of her being offered this important job with only a few days to accept it or not. Where is the recruitment & interview process? At that level there would be a relocation package, flying the family to Chicago, as well as at least the wife meeting the board(if not the husband as well) etc.

But that is beside the point. Like many others I'm waiting to see what direction this goes in; like it or not.

Just have him find out she's fucking her way to the top, dump her and get with Pat. <p><p>

Also, I would have appreciated a warning that the story wasnt over at the beginning of the chapter. I deliberately avoided reading part 1 because pointless multi-part stories are really annoying (i.e. stories that arent in multiple parts for any reason other than to get page hits - no cliff hangers or deep and meaningful points to ponder). I took a chance on this being the end of the story but instead of getting a resolution, I was left with just more angst from the husband without any action (angst from me to obviously :).<p><p>

Its a good story and a nice build-up or I wouldnt be worried about seeing the end. Part of the reason the multi-partedness of the story bugs me so much is because you are doing such a good job of painting the wife in an unflattering light. You are making the ultimate outcome of this little saga seem more and more inevitable as time goes on. This type of story doesnt lend itself to multiple chapter stories much imo though. It would have been better if it was presented like longhorn's long format page turners. <p><p>

Anyway, thanks for writing but please consider at least telling the reader how long the story is going to be in future submissions. Nitpickers like me who get frustrated when denied instant gratification wouldnt have a leg to stand on if you spelled it out ahead of time but we chose to read anyway.

sound as if Jo is expecting the family to move to

Chicago. Perhaps she just seeking to make the divorce

as easy as possible by getting everyone used to her

absence and slowly reducing contact. The idea of telling her husband to seek out the company of the single mother next door neighbor seems to say it all

Slow, but good. Hard to predict how you will go with this story based on your previous ones. Your three longer ones are all romances which doesn't help since the couples are just coming together. Your other two stories are about reconciliation and dissolution of marriages. It's always more interesting when the reader doesn't know what's going to happen.

Boyd

Lindsay is unhappy with her mum - that would just about have done for this chapter.<BR>

And the punctuation of dialogue is woeful!

How can you have so many words and not say anything worth a damn. If your intent was to slowly drag this out, you have been sucessful. I feel so sorry for the poor little lonesome husband. Why don't you have him get drunk and have a good cry?

I appreciate character and plot development, but there is definitely a limit. I hope in chapter 3 things pick up, because this really was sound and fury signifying not much at all. You will most assuredly burn off readers if you're still posting chapters 6 weeks from now.

Also, a writer of this caliber making some of these punctuation mistakes is just inexcusable. I mean, if you're going to put this much time into it...

You can obvious write decent enough to keep readers, so please take the next step and plan your stories out. This last segment strikes your reader as if they just wasted 20 minutes reading it... it did not move your story anywhere. All you managed to do is point out gaps in your story... no corporate job any where makes such ridiculous demands on one's time unless the person is incompentent. I've walked in both shoes and believe me when I tell you... the successful small businessman (the husband) is working longer hours and far harder than the corporate management role. So, your readers, and the husband already knows that she is choosing not to call him and her kids. That makes her a selfish cunt, and if you don't show us that the husband has already figured this out.. then he's a fucking moron... then who is your reader left to relate to? Both your characters deserve the mess they are creating.

"This parrot is dead."

"Dead? He's just pining for the fijords."

Building the plot points; the value of the business, the value of the house, the relationship with Pat and Sue as it's observer, Jo's haggard appearance et al, is necessary (one assumes) and well done. Can't wait for the next installment.

You're dragging the story. This chapter set the mood for what's going to happen, but it was stiffled by so many unnecessary details that it became boring. I don't care about the catering or how many meals they chose or the children's teeth - I just want the story. This chapter moved very slowly, and at the end very little happened.

Real life story just gets better. Prose is excellent.

Don't let the fourteen year olds stop you from coninuing your story at your pace.

Can not wait for the next chapter.

Please pm me when you post again.

(1) Pat came over to some BBQ; (2) Jo's been away a long long time (and we don't know whether she's been fucking around but we know he's ready to fuck a dog, if it made itself available and if it were legal); and (2) their girl, Stephanie?, was becoming a bit sad over her mom's long abscence and since she's just started her periods, Pat the neighbor needed to be consulted. <p>

Brilliant and very insightful things, dear author. On the other hand, you could have said all that in less than what I had just typed there. (Both kids are one-dimensional creatures, though we hear their names more than any thing else... Why's that?: Because they are convenient plot device for the author to NOT move the story anywhere fast.)

I have been waiting for your second chapter, good stuff, but I thought it was to short. Now I'm waithing again.

Good story, has me hooked. Husband has a love interest if he wants to pursue it. wife is in over her head. Who cheats, who gets caught, ect. As long as the next chapters keep coming pace is fine. Its not like this site is overwelmed with good stories. Thanks for your effort!

I won't vote yet, need to see more.

(oops, they insisted I vote now so gave it a middle score. Not a story yet)

Don't pay attention to the nay sayers, apparently they won't be satisfied with more than slam, bam, thank you mam, as a story. You are doing great, creating the atmosphere for the climax, what ever it might be. No clue who will be the first...

Drifter

I like your story so far but the last chapter was a little too short with little new being said. Please give us the kids emotions as it is really only mentioned without any feel of their mindsets.<p>The one implausibility is her not calling on her cell no matter the time of day or night. I have traveled and I always called home whether it is midnight or other times. A loving spouse needs the reassurance that the home front is ok and to hear the voice of your one true love.<p>You have given us a very good effort and I look forward to more of this entertainment shortly.<p>PT

Excellent writing; puts you among the best in Literotica. Don't worry about the "critics" who care more for quick and disgusting sex than the measured development of a plot and story.

This is a real gem of a story. It's one of the few where I can't guess where it's headed...I'm just enjoying the ride. The romantic in me hopes that she realizes her job is a mistake and ditches it to be home with her family, the realist in me sees that they will drift apart and it will be an ugly breakup....Looking forward to the next chapter.

The last thing Mark needs to do is sell his home and business and move his daughter to Chicago - wifey dearest is either going to be working late or traveling anyway. He needs to stay put with his support systems and resources in place. Interesting that he has a buddy... perhaps he should just go for irreconcilable differences and upgrade to somebody who appreciates him.<p> Great story, though. Excellent writing.

I loved the story, it felt like he was talking to me. Thanks

I think Coaster has done a fine job of developing a suspenseful if unrealistic story. As letmein6969(sorry if the numbers are wrong) pointed out, major corporations do not promote to exec leve with 2 days notice, no orientaion, no travel expenses for family, etc but other than that the tension is well done. She is so engrossed in the new job , she is ignoring her family which many have pointed out, but he ,on the other hand, never did tell her about evaluation of his business or estimate on the house so he is not doing geat communication job either. Sound like typical non communicative couple which normally leads to disaster. I do think your writing a fine story so far.slow, but very good. I'm curious to see if, or where, Pat figures in your plot. Lookin forward to next chapter.

60 year old George

<p>Sorry Coaster, but I am just tired of 60 yr old George. You know George, if a story had an uncaring, hateful, evil, cheating wife give her husband AIDs; you would figure out a way to blame the husband.</p>

<p>Coaster, excellent writing. I am looking forward to the conclusion of this story.</p>

Coaster,

Excellent story! I suspect that the unrealism someone referred to earlier will be resolved when we find out she applied for the job months before, and knew of the offer long before she told her H. I can see also sorts of twists and turns to this story. Therefore, I am very anxious to see where the author takes us. This is fun, and it is well written.

Keep it up

Peggytwitty states it is not conceivable that Jo would fail to call her family on her cell phone to check on things at "home." I suspect that Coaster2 is setting us up to find out she has been carrying on an affair, probably with one of the execs who offered her the promotion, so she is a little like the guys we read about who have families/lovers/whatever in two cities. After all, this is "Loving Wives" so it is clear that something is cooking. I'm sure we will find out soon; I certainly hope it's soon . . .

<p>...smoking<p>

<p>Sometimes I'm not sure if it is a vengeful lady (who was was wronged by a man somehow) and pretends to post as a man so that the hate can keep on giving while appearing male, or George is honestly a man and thinks's he's being <i>enlightened</i> by only liking stories where the man get's beat up on and that's what he thinks all women want to read. Every time there is a husband and wife and there is a problem George immediately blames the husband for poor communcations skills. Not the wife, just the husband. And then blames the marriage break up as primarly the husbands fault. Well if not always I'd say enough that that's all I've ever seen from him. ;)</p>

<p>Ignoring George for a second, there are lots of reason's that this could have happened in real life. I know because I've seen it and I know someone at work who is living it right now. First George you are wrong, she didn't get promoted in 2 days, the first part of the story said it was because she had worked hard for years and met all her numbers. Dude you need to go back and re-read that section. Second, maybe her job did offer a relocation package and she either forgot or turned it down because it was too low. I know my company only offers a "set price" regardless of where you move. One guy I know had to turn down a corporate job because where we live a 3 bedroom house goes for between 50-70K but in New Jersey it was more like 150-170K he said. The company doesn't cover that. Your on your own. We have a new manager who is here from Ohio and so far he is living here by himself while his wife sells the home and the kids finish school. And so far what he's doing is totally mirroring the wife in this story.</p>

<p>George you have no idea of what your talking about. Senerio's like this happen all the time in corporations. Get over your "male" bashing and just enjoy the story please?</p>

<p>Nice story so far Coaster. But I think I know where your going with it, and turn about, sacrifice, and the drive to suceed is fair play huh? (^_^)</p>

-Risq

The author has done a marvelous job painting for the reader an accurate tableu of married life in turn of the century America.Gone is the strong father figure that served as the rock upon which the family,society,and country were tethered.Now we have the weak father wimp figure whose thinking is predicated upon the premise that his wife's reprehensible behavior can be attributed to some failure on his part.This poor excuse for a man is unable to perceive what course of action is in the best interest of his family as a whole.Where the father of yore would have made short work of disengaging his family from the reprehensible wife,the new father allows his chilren to be hurt by his inaction.While this work may be intended as a parody commenting about the present sad state of affairs in family life; nevertheless,it is an accurate reflection of the major problems that beset far too many young family people.

Basically, what (almost) everyone is saying: "WTF is up with a woman trying to act like a man? Git back in the kitchen!!!"

If the roles where reversed and it's the guy who's always gone on business trips and the children are feeling neglected because of it, y'all would say, "Oh he's just being the man of the house, providing for his family, blah blah sexist blah blah."

<p>To anon below, I call them as I see them, whether it is male or female. She is in the process of abandoning her family for her career.</p>

<p>In chapter 1, I posted the comment about the goverment guy and I thought the same way about him. He abandoned his family for his career.</p>

And the story of his misfortunes with his traveling master Jo <P>

I like to look at details etc. but sometimes you have to call a spade a spade. I feel that just calling Mark a wimp and the wife a nasty beach would not do justice to those terms. Each of them is much worse. <P>

Don’t get me wrong. I am quite torn here. On the micro level; the writing is very pleasant even compelling. But when you start adding up the paragraphs and the pages and look at the evolving characters, you stop and think wait a minute! Are we at the end of the 18th century only in a reversal of men and women roles? A married women leaves her children and her husband to gamble on the life of all the above in a high risk market sells jobs? Is this a parable on the Enron Corporation which we can’t read right? Because her behavior is so reckless as to be bordering with libeling the whole female gender (and NO – I would have said EXACTLY THE SAME if he made the same stupid move). It feels more like a caricature of the female seeking career running amok giving bad name to reasonable women seeking careers. And why do we have to have the supposedly evolved image of the new male be so feminine? Would you care for beer dear; and did you notice the variety of flowers I placed in all corners of the house; and I know that Jo my spouse was never good at expressing emotions…Groan! It just does disservice (even though I am sure that it’s unintended) to any forward movement in the politics of genders. It says: you consider your wife joining the work force? Look what she’ll turn into and look what you’ll turn into. The slow pace of the plot did not bother me as much as the two dimensional aspect of the husband and the wife and as A.J says what surprises can you expect when the wife’s character seems more and more like a walking plague coming at you (my language) with every page that you read?

Excellent read. There seems to be some misconception by some of the commentators. The actions of the wife are not wrong because she is a woman in a man's world. They would be wrong if a man where doing them as well. She did not consult her family on this new change in all their lives. She told them it was happening and get behind her or get out of the way. Family should mean more than your job. If it doesn't then your priorities are wrong. If they needed her to take this job for survival, that would be different. The husband has been given a situation to come up with a solution. Say where he is and watch his marriage end. Or move and make the best of it. Given the contempt his wife has shown I would not choose to do as he has done. But I also understand that he realizes that his family means more than the business he has built over twenty years. His wife demanded he "make this work" and he is doing the best he can. The alternative is separation and eventual divorce. This is not acceptable to him and as long as his wife shows some concern for her family he strives to "make it work". Far from making him a wimp, he is showing a stronger character than I have seen in many stories posted on this site. She has been inflexible and he has taken the high road. Will he succeed? That really depends on his wife. If she divorces herself completely from her obligations to her family he can not possible succeed. But he can't succeed by ultimatum either.

but he should trade her in for Pat. Hell, he's seen his 'wife' twice in 8 weeks, she goes for a week at a time without trying to contact him, hell she's probably cheating on him as well. He should divorce her based on abandonment. As much as she's traveling even if he did move things wouldn't be different so why bother? Cut her loose and replace her!

This is heart wrenching.

I fear she is busy with much more than work. You think she would be more interested in how her family is doing. One more chapter.

It obviously isn't just work making her tired. Husband just keeps getting worse in my book and this one ended on a horrible note for him.

That last sentence is total bullshit. Wounds inflicted on each other? Really? The only thing he has wounded has been himself and his kids by simply bending over backwards to help the selfish bitch destroy their world.

I hope the last part ends well or i'm gonna be too pissed to sleep.

it is suffering from a serious wedgy.

Well it hasn't happened yet that we know of, but you can just sense that Jo is ever so slowly slipping away from Mark & the kids. Jo better get her thinking cap on straight as I'm sure Pat's just waiting for her to mess up before she lines up Mark. 3 ***

SELFISH STUBBORN THINKING OF NO ONE BUT HERSELF. SHE JUST ABOUT LOST HER FAMILY MARRIAGE AND LIFE FOR A JOB. ALL THE PATS ON THE BACK AND GOOD JOB DONE IS NOT WORTH A DAMN IF YOU CANNOT SHARE IT WITH SOMEONE THAT LOVES YOU AND YOU ARE 6 FEET IN THE GROUND.

RON

if SHE DOES not get her head out of her ass she is going to loose her fanily and for what her ego.

Ron

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

five stars.

He is growing closer to his kids, especially his daughter. Jo is less and less concerned about her daughter. She might as well be in Baghdad for all the good she is doing her kids.... And yeah, women see a man faithful to his wife, devoted to his kids and know he is worth his weight in GOLD. The bidding war for the house (if it goes on the market) won't be the only interest he will soon be getting. So, he could end up a millionaire, his 'career wife' could end up fired or burnt out, and the women will be lining up to claim a faithful father and husband.... Wow, Jo really is blind.....

<,,,,,, might reopen the wounds we had inflicted on each other."

WE ? WTHeck? Dude did not inflict jack on her. poor sentence choice GREAT story OldBearSwitch

For this boring drivel !

So if he did sell the business and the family home and uproot the family to the Chicago suburbs etc., would she spend any more time with them?

Or would she be too busy to spend the time on the commute?

The guy is a real spineless dick-head!

if your jobs so difficult you don't know when your "holidays" are, your shit at it! hand your notice in and go home.

and wait for the bitch and or the marriage to implode.

She is a selfish bitch and he is an idiot! Whats the point of that story? A spouse who deny oneself up to self-abandonment?? If thats your opinion for a good marriage then good luck for your partnerships!!!

So

I wonder when exactly she started relieving her pressure in Chi town? ....

The wife is having an affair with her job?

There is, and will be, a high price to pay for her selfish ambition.

Obviously. Jo has done nothing except show by her actions that her family and marriage mean very little to her, or at least much, much less than her job. I wonder who she is relieving stress with in Chicago? Probably a guy who she can talk to about all of her problems.

Back to the first chapter I forgot to mention that Jo guilted Mark into accepting her selfishness. The whole "if you love me you will do this" thing. Not only that she qualified that statement by saying "if you love me you will make this work". She has already rationalized failure not being her fault. If it doesn't work, it's because Mark doesn't love her, according to her. She assumes no fault for any of it in her mind and gives herself an out anytime she wants. She places ALL the work on Mark and does nothing except make things more difficult.

Honestly Mark should cut his losses. This marriage is not a bonding of equals. She gives nothing but demands and he does all of the heavy lifting. Definitely not a way to live.

Things not looking good for this marriage. Wife loves only her job. On to part three.

All relationships have them and this marriage is trending severely down for the last few months . What the virulent critics are missing are the credits Jo has accrued the past 20 years. She was a very satisfactory wife for a long time and that's what sustaining the narrator . Great story !

5* just to counter point the 1* hate

I agree with the commenter who said "she is having an affair with her job". Exactly.

If her decision-making process wasn't bad enough and didn't show enough disrespect, her failure to make even brief calls (no one is that busy, and I've had more demanding jobs than the one written), failure to return home, and dismissive attitude about getting the value out of the husband's business would make a normal man tell her that there won't be a move and there may be a divorce. BTW, did the author really mean to write her as such an affirmative action dumb cunt that she didn't realize that public companies do quarterly reporting and that what goes into those report thingies determines the value of the company's stock?...oh, and her and the other executive's options, too? If she were such a business whiz, she also would have recognized that doubling the value of an advertising! company in three years is ridiculous unless you are rolling up competitors. Doing it through organic growth is not going to happen. That should have told her that her marketing job was designed to fail. It's really writing her as totally in over her head and not smart enough to understand. And at least the husband has the ad business right. It's about two steps behind the entertainment industry in terms of sleaze.

If he was the one who was away from his family, the last anom commenter would say he was just trying to do his job for the family, not being selfish or any other thing. What a misogynistic attitude, id10t.

detroitdave

and take up with the neighbour

Keep going.

Again, bupid stitch. Demands of the job are exaggerated to the level of chuckle but even without that her decision and attitude is bs.

Anon shoe. Uh no. If he worked away from home, he'd be home weekends. That's what they make planes for. And he wouldn't be a cunt about the decision to do so.

However you want to conceptualize this story it seems clear to me at least that this marriage will be dead and buried within a year.

She's already disconnected herself from her family and her ambitious race up to the top of the hill to get the brass ring.

She's literally too busy to pick up the phone and talk to her family once A-day for 5 minutes ,really?

This poor guy is living in a fantasy world if he thinks this marriage is gonna live.

She's already gone he just can't accept that and I don't understand where hes coming from.

Good grief! This chapter dragged more than the first. On the other hand Mark has his wife’s replacement all lined up. We learned more about the insurance business and home renovation. 15K words into this thing and we still don’t know what the story is about

Have her served with divorce papers in the office. Make it stick unless she comes back home. Period.

Slut coming head on!

A nice respite but still seems like a lot of avoidance of the big issues is going on. Still very well thought out and written with attention to the emotional state of all involved and concerned outside parties. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Jo loves her husband BUT can only find twice to come home and the long weekend sge almost had to be shamed into it tHE MARRIAGE IS toast (JAYBEE186)