by ronde
love the way it is written you dont find that much it is a romance story not a f### story i dont use the word because to do so would lessen the truely great aspect of this great work!!!!!!!
As a former paper boy, I always wished I had a customer like this one in your story...but never did.
Great Job!
Ronde, Your other stories, especially "Laura's Vineyard", are not only very well written, but believable and touching. This is true eroticsm because it allows the reader to FEEL something [other than pelvic pressure.]
Plese accept gratitude from an 'older' woman who is tired of seeing females portrayed as objects and not as three dimensional human beings. Sex is much sexier when real people are involed, is it not?
Wow. You have included reality and depth in this work of art. The characters are people, not objects. The eroticism was not animal, but was "plant". A hesitant bud, maybe, opening up into a full blossom, slowly, gently, and tenderly, revealing glorious colors that aren't normally seen. A rare work of art. Congratulations. If you aren't currently selling books, I recommend trying!
I've only read a couple - but now will read all your stories. Good delineation of characters; interesting and unusual plot; sensitive emotional content that leads to the right kind of sex- tender and meaningful. Please keep writing.
It's quite an excellent piece of lit work. It's realistic and touching.
Have you ever thought of having your work published??? You really should!
Ronde, I don't get emotional about stories much, but when I read "Ashau Valley" I started crying...that's where my older brother died, the first time we attacked that valley. He was the second man out of the helicopter, a Viet Cong machine gunner fired a burst and died as he hit the ground.
Are all of your stories so touching? I guess I'll have to read them and see.
---that is a wonderful story. I'm not a literary critic: I can't disect rhetoric, phrasing, character development and whatever else critics do but I know what it is when I read and the words coalesce and set my heart beating hard, my flesh quivering and my brain filling until it is about to burst. Thank you for a wondeful interlude of happiness. Art
Ronde,
With this wonderful piece,I felt moved to a calmness,that I haven't felt for a long time.And it takes a lot to move me with words.
As a former,paperboy and soldier,whose first experience,was very,very similar.I could really relate to your words.
You have a way with words,that's joy to behold.Please continue writing,and I hope to read more of your excellent manuscripts soon.
Many,many thanks.
... as life and love.
Simple, it goes to heart.
Thank you for the time I've spent reading it.
What more?
I like you way of telling things.
Regards.
CArlo from Milano, Italy
I can not remember when, if ever, I have so enjoyed a work of fiction. either the work was a remberance of a real event, or the work of a truely gifted and imaginative author. In either case, I envy the capabilitiy that was exhibited here.
Thank you for writing such a moving story. I love this kind of story, where the characters and their feelings are so real. I hope to see more of your stories. If you had books published I would buy them all.
That first kiss always remembered! Great story, I should have been doing other things but you hooked me!
Having read Laura's Vineyard and then followed it with this, I find that your writing is astounding. You most certainly have got the balance right.
What is unfortunate is that we have seen any more submissions from you since last year.
I sincerely hope that we do see more works of this calibre from you in the future.
My regards
David H.
Just like the last commentor, I read Laura's Vineyard and had to read more of your work. Ronde, you are the best. Thank you for deepening my evening. I am a new fan. Lucy in NC
Somewhere within all of your written lines, I feel that all of my emotion buttons have been pushed.
I feel GREAT!!
This was a work of art Ronde. A+ for the Rhetoric 101 class. It was terrific how everyone found what they were looking for; especially for Claire, with her great American novel success, after everything she had been through in her tough life. The sexual awakening she provided to Jerry was both romantic and erotic and very tasteful. It was also terrific the Jerry found the soulmate he had longed for since highschool. I thouroughly loved this story and can't wait to read your others.
I wish more were like this..romance, sex, love...and hope.Love heals many wounds..and your story reminded me of an old flame of my own.
Please..more..you're very gifted.
Your story not only well written, it is a beautiful one, I hope there is more where this one came from.
The only reason that I rated this 5 was that the scale didn't go to 10.
As a fellow writer I am humbled by your talent.
Your characters have freshness vitality and above all, honesty. Their realism causes them to remain with your reader long after the story has ended
You thoroughly deserve all the accolades that you are receiving........Terry
(a) Take the average of all the previous comments and divide by two. (b) Then multiply by ten. (c) Repeat step 'b' until it feels like enough. (d) Wipe the tear from your eye and go out into the world and share the warm glow that the story imparted.
Your writing has intense detail and that warm, flowing rythm. Your story is very interesting and brings back childhood memories. Thank you. Ron
I had previously read this story but can't remember if I left feedback. I just finished your story Laura's Vineyard and thought I would reread this one. I much enjoy your ability to write about REAL people and events. Your paperboy scenes were very real, having been a paperboy for many years myself. I read Literotica for special stories like this, that are well written sexually, but also make me care about the people. Thanks again for yet another well-written enjoyable, satisfying, wonderful, etc. etc. etc. story.
I hope you actually earn a living by writing. You deserve it.
Your stories are just great. Great character development. I'm losing too much sleep tonite from reading all of your works.
A romantic idyll - probably much like the novels of Abigail Winston - but better!
This story was simply beautiful and it's beautifully and evocatively written. Thank you.
This has to be one of the most tender love stories I've ever read - even made me cry it was so moving and full of such passion - words cannot describe just how brilliant this wonderful story is. It's just 'brilliant'.
One of the most tender expressions of discovering love and "coming of age" that I have ever read.
I've always believed that sex is a result, not an objective and your story illustrates my point exquisitely.
This is not the first time I have read this story. It is at least the second and possibly the third, done over time. I appreciate the sensitivity and the tenderness you have captured. Thank you.
This is just such a warm story. It is entirely believable, it flows beautifully and has two real people who I want to know ... thank you for bringing them together for me.
Tommy
Starts well, builds slowly but surely to a satisfying climax.
Well Done!
This was a terrific story. He heaped much more beautiful imagery and strong emotions into a very short story than you nearly ever read here. The only complaint I have is that I feel it is somewhat incomplete. He should have expanded on the further relationship between Claire and Jerry, especially after the teaser in the beginning of the story. However, a strong work from a talented writer. Thanks!
This is a beautiful story that would stand up well in any genre. The thread of sadness through the narrative adds immensely to its power, and the sexual element is subtle, understated and thus very powerful. Thank you for one of the best reads in Lit - this and Laura's Vineyard.
This is probably the best story on the site. I can only say probably because I haven't read them all. I'm sure this author will become famous one day.
Roger
A writer who knows his trade. More than that, he's a very kind-hearted person. And such a sense of humor! Wish he could be better known to those who like to read good stories.
This is the BEST story I have read on this whole site. Laughter, tears, passion and respect all in a perfect balance. A real shame there are only 5 stars for rating, this one deserves at least a 10. I was very impressed with Laura's Vineyard, but this story was so thought provoking and played on the emotions beautifully. Well done. Bravo!
I liked it, it touched the emotional side as well as the sensual. But I found it hard to believe that a woman would feel horny the day she got word her son died. And she wasn't shown to be grieving hard enough over his loss. I know from personal experience - we sure didn't feel that way when our son died. It's the most devastating loss any parent can feel, and you used it as a jumping-off point for the sex. I would have found some other trigger had I written this.
I love the reality of this tale and the sensuous way it opened out and climaxed.
Well written.
I THINK YOU ARE THE PERFECT STORYTELLER.
THANKS AGAIN.
Reminds me of "Summer of 42"; one of my favorite movies.This story was about "coming of age"; it showed friendship, laughter, heart-ache, loneliness, sensuality, love, sympathy, empathy, fear, embarrassment, etc...
I feel sorry for the person who didn't get it; the described sexual encounter wasn't about "being horny", it was about sharing love, friendship, intimacy, pain, understanding, etc... Claire was trying to get out of the emotional black-hole that was threatening to engulf her. She had lost everything after the divorce which had labeled her a Scarlett Woman. Add that to the Romance Novels, the move, and the small town "rumor mill" and after her son's death, she was completely alone except for Jerry. You on the other hand; stated "we" - so you had a support network of family, friends, neighbors, Grrrr - you're a cold-hearted jack-ass. You don't even know what empathy is; you didn't see yourself in her shoes. Apparently; everyone else did!!
Claire was in town for approx 6 months; but 22 years later they were still professional colleagues and close personal friends. I wished that I was Jerry.
And of course; I'm pretty sure that everyone saw "Denise" coming a mile away, and think that it's too bad that Jerry didn't give her a chance in high school.
DKP
Very well paced with the right blend of innocence and sensuality.
You were fortunate to have encountered and befriended such a wonderful mentor.
A very emotional and loving story. I felt every word. Very nice read.
A gentle story of deep feelings... finished with more than a tear in my eyes
Being from Indiana and approximately the same age, this story was emotionally compelling and had a real sense of an autobiographical coming of age. The interactions of the characters were subtile and erotic. Not the typical slam-bam overly sensational graphic couplings. Rather it is a mature recollection of a first kiss and a first actual physical joining that provided a perfect description of love as the duality of giving and of receiving.
That was one of the nicest story I've ever read. Absolutely wonderful.
You know, this is a wonderful story. I may have to quit reading your work if I keep getting choked up like I seem to when I finish a story of yours. You make Clair so real, and the town women gossiping are my neighbors. They really do hurt people. Your story proves something I've known for years. When I was a kid I was told," Sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me." This is a lie. Words are the sharpest knife we can ever use to hurt each other. I see Clair and Jerry and wonder what the neighbors said. Even his mother was ready to believe she was a slut. I wonder if Clair ever knew that she was Jerry's first lover. Surley she did, after having to teach him to kiss. I've also said before that all young men, who are really still boys, need to have an older woman for their first lover. I did, and she enabled me to make my (later) wife's first time much better.
have a soft and gentle touch with your words when the tale you're telling asks for that. Of course I liked it and your presentation, the characters and the ending. TY Scotty
I enjoyed this feel good story so much. I re-read it 4 times.
Very realistic in presentation and believable,did it really happen?
I like that kind of stories very much!
As I read your story, "The Summer of '42" came to mind, the attraction, the sadness, a miracle of connection against the despair. Nicely written with an easy ending. Add another page or two to make it real.
I was in the Navy during Viet Nam and saw too many young men return home in boxes. I wonder how many other single moms had to go through this same agony and if they had a Jerry there to help then, Well done! Please don't stop!
I read this a second time (the first was about a month ago) and the same feelings returned as I had the first time. This is excellent writing about a touchy subject, since I was a sailor during Viet Nam, also. Claire's pain was palpable in your story. Keep up the good work.
No that's contemporary too. Beautiful words delicately chosen to express love.
discovery, learning, sharing,
loving and being loved.
Life Lived Well
Leggo il tuo racconto come bere un sorso d ' acqua e ' cosi' piacevole leggere quello che scrivi da lasciarmi sempre con il rammarico di aver finito. Grazie e per favore non smettere di scrivere
i especially love the way you worked the title into the last paragraph. The dialogue is full of sweetness, tenderness, and caring. This story easily earned 5 stars!
When you read the final paragraphs and a chill runs through your spine you have to make it one of your favorites. Thank you Ronde
You invite emotional connection that takes me to my my initial feeble attempts with a
woman and leads me to thankfulness. Thank Ronde. I will look and see if you write again.
I've read a lot of stories on Literotica but this is one of the most heart warming ones so far. It's just a shame that you are no longer writing, or at least writing for Literotica. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of your stories if they are anything like the two I've finished so far. Just sorry that I can only give five stars. Thanks
No screaming gasping orgasms, no Olympic level sexual gymnastics. How dare you expect us to fill in the gaps. Memories filled in the blank spaces with the scent of Este Lauder or Chanel No 5, Dresses with too many buttons and stolen moments that etched themselves on my Psyche. For Miss T, l would try harder and love deeper. You deserved it.
If you press my wife of almost 40 years hard enough, she will grudgingly admit that she is the beneficiary of my time with an older woman. Would that every young man should be so lucky.
Ronde, if I like the story, I just like it for what it is and leave it at that. THANK YOU! As Billy Joel noted in Piano Man, "it's sad and it's sweet" which describes your story totally.
*****What a great piece of storytelling. Very entertaining read. Thanks for sharing.
Dear Ronde, many thanks for this story and your others. It's wonderful to read the expression of real emotions, that are neither the Playboy nor the romantic novel fantasies.
Still one of the best stories on Literotica. Didn't remember the title but as soon as I started reading, I knew I had read it before and enjoyed it. Well written, it was a heartbreaker that Claire chose to move away, but it provided a turning point in their lives and the story. Thanks again.
A wonderful story! Jerry did something for a friend that I'm not sure I could have done. I wasn't particularly surprised when he ended up married to Denise. I wondered if that would happen before the end of the story when she was the least desirable girl in his school.
Excellent! Would love to know more about Claire, but you ended it so well it really isn't necessary. Thanks!
Hmm. I liked it very well. Having said that, though, toward the end I found myself thinking, "Hey! This is just _Summer of '42_ recycled!" Well, it's not, but . . .
A very nice story, though.
Wow! Incredible first-time story. A long slow build-up to their meeting, and growing friendship, before a tragedy, brought them together as a symbol of "love" and a deep relationship, an unusual plot with good dialogue, and a sweet ending.
I will be re reading this one. It seems so personal but so polished and well paced. Beautiful story. Thanks
Enjoyed your story very much, I actually teared up a little at one point. Silly old fart that I am! Well written.
Great story, five stars and now I've added both the story and the author to favorites.
Wonderful story, 10 stars! Your writing,as well as your stories, is exceptional. I think Claire had a special place in her heart for Jerry. as well as taking his love pee,his first time!
How touching. Empathy and compassion seem devine. (Gifts from heavan)
They seem to orbit each other like the earth and moon. The gravitational attraction is Agape and illuminated by the Sun?