All Comments on 'A Master's Ring: Book 01'

So, you've moved to Literotica too! :) Well, I can only say what I've said before, TO you too. I think this story is spectacular! And I want more. Preferably NOW. *G*

Elsol,

I immensely enjoyed the first installment of your novel. I found it well written, and interesting through and through. I hope that you follow through and write book 2.

Thank you for sharing with the audience your erotic novel,

SM

I spent all of my day reading this. Easily one of the best stories I've read here in the 4 years that I've known about the site. Wonderfully readable.

as always. Did take me two days to read it though...darn real life, always intruding on a great read, grins.

Where did you learn to write? It was a wonderful experience reading your words. Was this only fantasy or the characters drawn from experience? Where are you leading in the 2nd chapter? Will the hero learn to control his First? When a sub demands satisfaction from your pleasure, with petulance or over stepping their bounds, then harsh punishment is required. Punishment doesn't have to take the form of the physical it can also be mental, maybe even spiritual. Humiliation, denial of orgasm, and restraint are good tools to use. Melisa is such an interesting character. Will we find that her Master is her brother? Or that her father is really Jason’s father. Maybe the grand father of the Hero was the First Brother and his legacy was given to our hero. There are so many possibilities that I can’t keep thinking about them. Is Doris Alex a villain? I hope not.

Will Rachel, Melisa and our hero. Couples… what word would you use to describe a triad? A Trio?

When will he realize that Melisa is meant for him… and he is meant for her? I love his philosophy of life. It is so like mine. His style and élan are what I strive for in my life. His deductive reasoning is awesome. I hope I can come close to seeing as much forest for the trees. I like the fact that he likes small breast. It is only recently that I have begun to enjoy fuller more rounded butts. I like that he is beginning to appreciate asses. And that he has standards or a rating system that I have only started to apply. I also have learned much more about the inner workings of the women in my life after reading your story. His handling of the frat boys is what I would have tried to think of… I got some good ideas on how to handle myself out of that part of the story.

I know that the price for being a Brother is what you will pursue next. Don’t make it a price that he is unwilling to pay. This is such a positive story it would be a shame to turn it dark. I know you have more surprises for us. I felt so good after reading this and I hope it last. I know, that when I write that the mood of the moment or where ever the Muse takes me, colors the tone of my storytelling. I hope you stay in a good mood for a long time and that you’re getting laid a lot. But not so much that you don’t have the time or will to write. I wait with bated breath for the next chapter.

“May all your sorrows be only sighs. And all your joys be loving.”

Sir Rand

I usually tire of the same genre of stories; however, this story if fresh, well written and entertains the right amount of suspense, flirtations and innuendos that make me want more. I read through the story and was delighted in the characters, their development and their uniqueness. I also love the use of books in many of the explanations, especially when books are used to open doors to new realities or concepts. Please keep up the good work and grace us with more f this amazing story.

I gotta admit that I was a little intimidated by the length of your story, but I sucked it up, dug in and got into it.

I have 2 hopefully helpful critiques. One: shoter book lengths. Go ahead and post 25 pages, just split it into 2 or 3 books of 8 to 12 pages each. Post 'em all on the same day so we get 2 or 3 stories to read at our leaisure. I admit this is selfish. I hate having to try and remember where I left off.

2, I like the descriptions, but on occasion (not always) they tend to drag on a little. This is a minor complaint and certainly not one to put me off your stories, but it might just make me want to read them more.

Keep it going.

I have been reading stories on this site for quite some time now, and this is the first time i've ever been moved to comment. This, quite simply, the best piece of writing i have ever read on this site. It trancends the mold of erotic story writing and stands not simply as a work of erotica, but as a work of art. most of the stories found here are designed to arouse only sexually, but yours was arousing much more intellectually. The former is certainly appreciated and has its place on this site, but the latter goes above and beyond. most times i visit here, im looking for a hot story for a quick get off. but i spent a couple of hours reading every word of this story, not caring about my physical pleasure, but drowning in my mental pleasure. This is a wonderful story, and i simply cannot wait to read the rest of it.

Definately among the top 10 stories I have read on this site. I can't wait till A Master's Ring: Book 2 is done!

There are few authors I continually look forward to reading thier writings. Most writers have a story like no other that lets the characters come alive. This story had me reading from start to finish non-stop. If this is your first you have a wonderful start and I hope you continue at the same lvl.

Best of the Best. I hope to hell that you write a book... and book 2 and 3 and 4... Just don't stop! You've got a gift!

Wow. As someone said in another comment, it is first time I am moved to comment. The author gets me in and drag me throughout the story. He does not leave with wondering if there is more to the story than details, details, details of sex (which I love) but also incorporate successfully with space available other genre aspects into his novel. Thus it become a novel in truth. Continue the good work, Elsol!

Couldn't stop reading this until I was finished! Have to get up in 2 hours, but this story was SOOO worth a night without sleep.

The characters dragged me in and the story was just GREAT. Loved how David "convinced" the frat leader that his house had screwed up. I laughed so many times and so hard I literally almost fell out of my chair.

Can't wait to read the next 2 chapters, but don't have the time today to do it so guess no sleep tomorrow either!

Fantastic! By far my favorite i have read here. This was amazing. Thank you!

you've put a lot of details into your story....i tried to understand most of it...but still couldn't figure out the sibling part hundred percent right...which, i guess, was your intention....and more than that, i really like the fact that the protagonist has a brutal past, but instead of the stereotypical "i want to lead a quiet life", he wants things for himself, and is even ready to fight, which is not something seen often.....and yeah,some of it was overdone...

the only thing that i didn't like was that most of the sex scenes are TOO detailed...and while that makes for good reading, not enough to turn on...

anyway, this is a really great story, and i plan to read the rest of the parts tonight ;)

I thought this was a very good read. It appears that you have taken the time to actually develop the characters and the brother/sibling roles very well.

The nuances between the characters have been drafted very well.

Looking forward to the next two chapters.

Well thought out, elaborate, self-supporting. The charaters have depth and purpose. Good use of archetypes!

It was a very good read. Well written and very well planned. The charecters are well defined in there roles and well descriped. Its possible just me but i still dont understand where the alex comes from in doris alex. It "confuses" the name and it doesnt come naturaly. The fact it was 24 pages was a bit daunting but well worth it. Over all a very good story and i cant wait to read the next one.

I would have thought we'd have more than 18 comments on this one; I'm also surprised at so many anons. Anyway - Lots of mystery in this well written story. Looking forward to Book 02. Well done, elsol.

I'm not yet sure if I like this story or not. I don't like David, but he's certainly interesting. The whole premise holds quite a bit of fascination too.

The other thing is your writing style, Somehow it can't draw me in like others, but it has a certain edge that holds fascination. Like some foods, where you can't decide for sure if you like them, but end up trying more and more. But what put me off greatly was a tendency to often forget words. The context made it possible to figure out that there was a "me" or "to" or something like that missing, but it broke the reading flow.

this story is very very good.It is hard to visulize putting my self in his place like i can in most stories.I like to be the hero.he is much too complex to imagine me doing some of the things he does.but keep up the great work that you do.I want to read more. RON

You can probably reach more readers publishing at ‘stories on line’, there is a good writer there with a similar ‘name’ but the style seems a bit different.

Anyway thank you for a well written piece and may the muse grant you many more inspirations

FYI: Elsol has a new story posted at SOL:

'Zombies, Werewolves, Vampires, and Other Improbable Things'

I have to agree with the issue of left out words being annoying, but a minor annoyance at best for me in this case.

What makes this story so good, for me, is how I can feel myself in his place. He could be me in many ways and that pulls me in nicely. The major difference in attitude is I enjoy BDSM, bondage, and a bit of sadism and humiliation (giving, that is). Looking forward to the rest of the series. Sorry to notice you've not written since 2005. Happy to have found your stories anyways.

Master the body; the mind will wander.

Master the mind; the body will follow.

The story is great, but you often leave things out and there are things that don't connect that jar the reader from reading it as a smooth whole.

a strange relationship this is, at times i love it and at times i hate it. and very often it just plain pisses me off, so as a consequence i have long grown tired of this. *1 star for skill at pissing me off.

Mentioning Plato and Ayn Rand in the same breath and suggesting they make similar points (page 3) is a crime against philosophy. Creating a character who is a professor of creative writing who would use Rand to justify their actions is a crime against reality. Writing about things you don't understand, even if it is in erotic fiction, is a crime against your readers.

My constructive feedback is this: (1.) keep writing; (2.) if you don't know about something, ask yourself if you really need it to move the story along, and if you do, make sure you try to better understand it first; (3.) don't settle for the Dan Brown approach to storytelling--always try to respect your readers' intelligence and the potential for depth in each of your characters.

I have enjoyed this story ,, it's very different , very deep at times.

I enjoyed the bits about him becoming very wealthy ( my fantasy )

for my tastes , include more about the brotherhood & shorten the sex scenes a bit.

But then its hard to please everyone. these are my comments , not meaning to be critical, there are enough critics here ,and it's always easy to criticise . nitpicking pedants that they are.

I had to stop after about 15 pages because I was so pissed off at this guy.

He's supposed to be a part of a secret society all about him being able to be the greatest guy, exactly who the society is looking for etc etc. Wrong, the guy's a psychopath. Regularly talking to people telling them how he gut some woman, killed some guy and enjoyed hearing the guy's wife's screams and the people he tell it to just kinda accept it. This guy goes from being happy to being nearly blowing a gasket in no time. Three dudes beat up Doris and suddenly David thinks it's time to go full psychopath on the frat president the guys are in. He set the guy on fire, and then proceeded to kick the guy in the balls while holding a knife AND A GUN to the guys head. AND THEN GOES SCOT FREE. In the real world David would have been in jail in no time.

If I was any of these girls i'd have a restraining order at the ready.

Your writing style is what annoys me the most I guess. I don't know if it was my phone or what but at one point David and Doris Alex were fucking while at a party. I must have COMPLETELY glazed over the part about Jason because suddenly David is overreacting and getting all pissed off about someone talking about some guy named Jason that hadn't even been introduced.

What kind of name is Doris Alex? How annoying would that be to call someone that in real life? I don't think I would ever call someone two names, maybe that's just my opinion.

This is coming off really harsh but it's my views on what you wrote.

it is to see 24 pages as the length? i have gotten so used to 2-5 page stories that i was on page 16 before i went "how long is this thing?"

i agree with some reviewers. the guy isn't using his brain much or often. i liked the story better when there was more going on besides sex and then sex and then a girlfriend i would strangle and then more sex. overall i am not bitching though. i liked the story and where it is going. hoping for more about what got him kicked out of the military and for the other shoe to drop on what the brotherhood really wants him for and why they still exist if sex is their only purpose.

last thought...anyone else think 99% of the siblings are about as submissive as a wild lion in it's prime. they need some ignoring or spankings or something. i'd have guessed that melisa hated david for all the crap she brings down on him and the constant manipulations. i like doris. she is easy to understand. melisa is like a conspiracy planning wing-nut doped up on way too much adderall.

Thanks, great story. Not an easy read but so much better than 99 % of the crap….

Yes, this is really GREAT! I've read over two hundred stories and this is one of the great ones. I believe this is.a piece of great ART!

Writing is an art, your ability to evoke emotion seems to be a comon theme in the comments I've read on your stories. Too me that is one measure of success in itself. Love or hate it just keep reading it (well that almost works). I tried the Shades of Grey crap and it bored me to tears, couldn't stand or finish it. I don't want to admit how many times I've reread the A Masters Ring books just because it draws a wierd fasination reaction from me. I was happy to find your first book on Amazon and will purchase at least the digital version just to reward for the hours of reading you've given me.

You need promote yourself better a line or two in the writers blog or comments would have made it way easier to find, both on SOL and Literotica.

A really good story, really good!!

Absolutely my favorite story series even though it’s not my favorite genre! And I’m a sucker for the sci-fi references! Heinlein (my fave) and Herbert (one of my faves). The first told outright and the other only for us who know! hahaha. So extremely sorry you haven’t posted here in 16 years...

A very enjoyable story. I tried to stop reading a couple of times but didn’t. I think some of the macho violence things are a little silly but that’s just my opinion. Thanks for the great read!

You get seriously deep into every emotion you approach. It’s unusual but nice to read something where the author doesn’t go halfway but barrels forward no matter how erotic, exotic or even horrific. This was a pleasure to read.