by DarcyAdd
Not a bad idea for a story and I like your way of developing it but please work on your writing style. Dialogues are simple and unbelievable. There is no insight into character's thinking processes. Also their acceptance of the situation is more unbelievable than the idea of swapping bodies itself.
I liked the story. The last paragraph was confusing. You need another chapter to explore the relationship amd interaction between the mother and son
You really need to proofread your story or get someone else to.
You kept changing the name of the son. It was so confusing.
Who the hell are John & Jason? You listed the characters names at the start of the story. Maybe you should have read it before using other names.
The story had a lot of possibilities but like the name usage, it just didn't work right.
An alternative ending story for this would be they switch back.
An idea for continuing the story would be they keep switching into other bodies.
I am So soryy for the mistakes in their names actually I wrote half the story with the names as John Jason earlier and then half the story as Kyle Alan coz of that i got a bit confused.
So sorry about that.
I appreciate the apology and the explanation. Looking forward to your next story.
Story line was ok. Could have used some more explicit details. Just about half to 3/4 through the scenario, you changed up names to different names from those involved. It would have been more believable if that didnt happen. Now continue on with this story. Lets see what the new to the other bodies get into? Sex with each other?