All Comments on 'A New Dawn'

Dawn NEEDS to be with Mary Beth!

Threesome

Nice work. Looking forward to see how far you take it.

Would love a follow=up

A follow up please!!!

Very well written with humour, emotions and hot scenes. I gave you 5 stars !!

Found Chapt. 2 first so I had to back track and read 1. One of the best stories on here. 2 seemed to be the end of it but I sure would like some more of these characters.

This is a great start and I really enjoyed reading this chapter. It peaks one's interest and makes you want to read more.

As a Literotica author, I know it's good to have comments and votes for each chapter of your story. This chapter of your story has many angles of possible development and is great reading, I gave you 5 stars.

Now I am off to read the second chapter of Dawn.

I read this to be up to speed on the newest before reading it. I really liked it. Great work here!

I really enjoyed keeping track of Dawn's growing up, the cop career and murder, and the relationship between the duplex neighbors.

This story has a lot of information to bring all the plots together. A very enjoyable read. The BEST uncle-niece story I've ever read. Hope there is alot more to come.

Great story and believable also. Heading off to read the rest of your stories.

You are certainly a very good writer. While you could have stretched out the emotions between the characters, you gave us enough to understand them. And the sex was hot.

It was good but the story was far too fast paced. There wasn't enough time to get to know the characters, much less an emotional connection. It would be great if you added back story and gave them some emotion.

Having a 'hot" niece is fertile ground for all kinds of fantasies...Yours is as good as most...

LOL. I love Mary Beth.

very sexy little family incest tale!

There's the Noir, the LA factor, the mature and younger gal factors, he'll even the inter racial Asian and the blonde in LA schtick, and the tough cop voice over in my head thing. I stumbled across this looking for something with a good rating and got that and more. Much more. And I've got Diana Krall playing in the back ground. Damn all I need is a scotch! Great writing so far. I know I'll have more to say and I have feeling it will be good! Nicely done. Very nice indeed.

We need you to write part 6, and soon. And then parts 7 and following. Every time I re-read your stories I love them more.

After having this experience with a cousin or two, I remember the anxiety of early incest. But they were such good fucks I lost it fast.

not usually into uncle/niece or dad/daughter stuff but i liked

You write really well. Thank you!

If you're going to have a plot device of a brother/father being brutally murdered, you need to pay homage to it with a more genuine reaction than "Huh. Dad/Bro is dead. Oh well. Let's fuck."

The Father figure got the girl when her mom died. Not stated but he may also be just an uncle. And she is the one that talked him into going clean. So yes, some grief.

THEN she gets with the uncle she has crushed on for years.

OK sorta incest but at a short distance, the bloodlines were never stated, mat have been uncle by marriage. His past is vague as well and many military (was stated) marriages far apart. (FACT, I lost 2 that way, they couldn't take the stress) so He could be her uncle via failed marriage. ALSO, He has asian heritage, She doesn't. That right there leans me to the non blood connection.

Sorry, but it is specifically stated that Dawn's father was Johnny's older brother. They are genetically related.

I do enjoy both the New Dawn and Intervention series, which makes it even better that they crossover. Keep it up, chunks!

... where's the next chapter? ;-)

Really needs it, in my opinion.

I guess I should have looked before I posted!

On to Chapter 2, and I'm looking forward to it.

And the others.

Thanks!

I've tried to message u telling you that this story got taken down and was hoping you would repost it this series is amazing I still don't know what u could add to it, to make it more entertaining and draw your readers in. Always love re-reading this series.

I have a beautiful niece that I would have loved to have sex with. She and I both love each other very much, but I've never took the chance to push it any further. Her father is an ass and denies her as his. I don't know how any father can deny their child. I can't really know if she is or not because her mother did cheat on her dad. This I know for a fact since I could have slept with her myself, but didn't. If I thought one of my children wasn't mine, I'd have a DNA test done. He has refused to do this.

That happened awful fast, but I understand this is fiction. I would have liked you to pursue their love for each other a bit more before you let her suck him off and then launched them directly into the 'pound her into the ground rodeo'.

But I enjoyed it and am moving on to chapter two.

Will she start joining him for morning calisthenics and martial arts training?

Good story, but I would've preferred it if their relationship progressed more slowly.

That’s one hot story, more please.

ok, english and typowise. unfortuately, author is unable to use off by itself. keeps writing off of. that turns me off.

That's freaking beautiful! Now I've gotta read the whole series, to find out how we got here, and to find out if there is a happily ever after.

'author' keeps writing 'off of' that's a major turnoff. 1 star.

Great storyline and characters, unfortunate how rushed it was though. This should have been a multi-chapter realistic character story, deserved to be one after that wonderful first half.

(multiple chapters of building the characters and the sexual tensions and such, I mean.)

Loved the story line. The genealogy is a little difficult to follow at this point.

5*

BJ

wiggling my eyebrows??? lie/lay?? off of?? cooorny! and really bad grammar...1 star.

Keep writing off of. If the dorks don't like it they can get off of this site.

Loved it, voted FIVE. Previously I read pt 09, and now I will definitely read the whole series! Grats on a great style!

Great start, thank you.