All Comments on 'A Pampered Wife'

Only underachiever have to take the wife of another one. They dont have the ability to conquer a hottie for themself! You want a cheating wife for you?

From an unloving marriage to a loving relationship, a little devious perhaps but all's well that ends well.

First ... a little Deus Ex Machina in the Feds busting Hubby. If Our (sneaky) Hero had notified the authorities about his observations, it would have removed the ‘lucky coincidence’ aspect.

Second, WAY too much detail about things that are incidental in developing the seduction of another guy’s wife. The fact that Hubby was both nasty and a criminal mediates how despicable the effort of Our Hero is in going after another’s woman. It is also implied that it is OK for a taller guy to steal a woman from a short guy!

Finally, the Secret Admirer ploy of sponsoring a Spa Day is a weak way to avoid personal expression of interest. My suggestion to Our Hero is to just keep working 20 hours a day at ‘day’ trading!.

2.6 = a weak 3*

Get a competent editor.

While I know coming up with new plot angles is difficult, the "inviting the asshole" to a neighbourhood party is pretty unlikely given his behaviour.

The ribbon on the antenna is just bullshit.

And yes, you need an editor. 2* (couldn't finish it)

So you finally tried your hand at LW. A whole different world, isn’t it? Haven’t read your other stories, but I expect they are about the same quality as this, and yet your score drops from the middle range 4’s to a middle 3. Since that’s in keeping with almost every other writer, you can console yourself the problem most likely lies with the readers rather than yourself, so keep your chin up.

Now on to your story—I saw a few typos and there were some places you could have done things different, but what the f**k? You are an amateur, not a Times best seller—and you let us read it for free. I say thanks!

Not sure why gordo12 couldn’t finish it, but if the last sentence about the editor is the reason, I really didn’t see it as being that bad. If not finishing had something to do with the long-windiness, I can go along with it and the comment made by Lickideesplit. You did get into a lot of detail and probably only a fan of novels, like myself, would slog our way through the chaff. BTY always be careful about using as few words as possible because readers, short story readers especially, will start to skim then tune you out.

Seeing as how you are starting here and I really enjoyed your story, I gave you a high mark. Good Luck cd

Why would a single man, with a lot of free women in the world want to steal (maybe fuck is a better word) another man's wife paying a lot of money for that fuck? I say fuck because if the husband hadn't conveniently died in prison, a fuck would be all he would get. So a weak plot, she being a wife, but it could have been a so-so romance story if she was single or a widow...1*

I thought the author had a fairly solid concept in having a veritable " prince " of a narrator rescue a princess in distress who is beset and besieged by her troll of a husband. Basically a modern day fairy tale could have played out.

Liam Christopher had the foundation for an excellent villain but never gave him vivid scenes to strut his evil stuff. A professional writer would have let the bad boy spin his Web of drug running, stolen auto parts along with spousal abuse and put the reader right there instead of 2nd hand accounts of his dastardly deeds.

Likewise the princess in distress role was undercharged. Put the reader in her head as husband threatens and gaslights her only to be tripped up by long arm of law and then detail her wonder and fear as mystery admirer begins his campaign for her favors. It's not good to break marriage vows BUT if you give audience good reason - they'll make the leap and sympathize in tandem with author's intentions.

This story had potential and author showed imagination in story concept and a few isolated scenes. Kudos for being brave enough to submit initial story to tender mercies of Loving Wife demographic. That being said : 1) get an editor , 2) take a course or buy book of short story construction technique along with fairy tale collection so you can update next classic for new millennium.

Bottom line : Liam Christopher flashed some promise, but his gifts need refining. I selfishly wish him good luck and Godspeed in that arduous process because good stories and proficent authors are in short supply, as of late, in Loving Wives.

What the fuck are you moaning about now? The problem lies with the reader? In your fucking dream. The problem lies with the writer. LSD said it clearly enough. Loving wives has quality writers, but unfortunately they don't post often enough. That's the problem. The shit that gets posted lately isn't worth the effort to read it.

Whenever I see the word "masseuse" misused, it annoys the crap out of me. A masseuse is a WOMAN who gives massages. If a man gives massages, he is a"MASSEUR!"

You might not think that's important, but if you want to be a writer, you should understand the language you intend to write in.

For me -- what was there not to like. An interesting theme well told and written. Enjoyed reading it. Thank you.

The guy is a new writer, why not encourage him with constructive criticism? I've read stories, by some of the bigger names on this site, that are not as good as this story. The living wives category seems to draw out a lot of smug and self satisfied trolls who really add nothing to any discussion.

An entertaining and enjoyable tale.

This is a well written romantic story with a little bit of sex. Sure, it's not perfect.

The premise is very realistic. There is no shortage of men who don't value their women and don't treat them right. I have often looked at those situations and thought "I'd love to have the opportunity to treat you like you should be treated and I'll bet I'd be richly rewarded".

I liked your other stories better, but this one is still pretty decent. Glad you are writing again.

One day she will have to decide if she can trust him, and that might be a problem for her.

Thanks for the effort.

A nit pit, but Chad's alleged VIN swap to sell stolen cars is not plausible today. First the VIN is located on more places on the vehicle than "the official" VIN plate inside the windshield. Second, anyone buying an expensive car should use CarFax and the changed VIN would show mileage, some services, and any damage to the OLD donor vehicle.

Interesting tale, and your latest story is good. But this one doesn't work

I know that we are dealing with fantasies, but fantasies have to have at least some bit of realism, and there was none here. Even the seduction --- why would Maria have had unprotected sex with a masseuse she could not even see.

I give it a thumbs-down for lack of imagination and realism.

...öt csillagot ,de ez számomra az volt ,gratulálok,nagyon jól megírt,részletes történet ,bár ez inkább egy romantikusnak hatott,de semmit nem von le az értékéből !Sok sikert továbbra is...!

All the LW stories written by this author are of such a pathy level .. I wonder if he is on some weeds when he writes! His bio says he develops his characters… sadly could not find a single story where he has taken time to do so! Most of his characters are cartoonish! No touch with anything real! In most of his stories the moot point is never resolved…

1. Julie fucking Mark in Its what daddy wants..

2. Julie giving a blowjob to a customer in physical therapy ..

3. The MILs atrocious behaviour in Physical Therapy and then her sudden turn around at the end…

Nothing this author writes makes any sense… seriously I find him to be a little delinquent as a writer!!!

A clever tale. Very enjoyable. LP

I first read this story several years ago; liked it then, like it now.

The premise of a single man becoming infatuated with a neighbor wife married to an unappreciative jerk while otherwise never finding an available woman who appealed to him isn't farfetched at all--in my youth I was one such person. I undertook a similar "pampering" campaign which succeeded in initiating an affair but failed in detaching the wife from her abusive husband before he accidentally killed himself and her in a drunk-driving accident. Living with the guilt of my seduction of her and the angst of not having been able to get her separated soon enough to avoid her death left me with one of those "lifelong questions" one never wants to have--i.e. "Was it worth it?"

Conditioned societal disapproval of our actions cannot erase the sweetness of our love affair. It was and still is one of the most influential events of my life. Would we have lasted? Who knows. But her tragic death (which it was, for she had no control over HIS actions) taught me to--in simplistic trite terms--"seize the day". My wife of nearly 40 years understands why I treasure what we have and appreciates my gratitude to her for the life we have shared.

This was a good story, crafted with skill and creativity. That the "masseuse"-"masseur" mislabeling is the ONLY quibble to be mentioned in a FICTIONAL FANTASY which otherwise succeeds in its goal of erotically entertaining is, well, a clear indication that a reader has somehow lost track of what THIS category in THIS website is all about.

Thanks again LiamChristopher for sharing your creativity with us. Please keep doing so.

MLJ