All Comments on 'A Shepherd Afield Pt. 04'

When I found this site site there where plenty of short stroke stories for me to read but after going through all your longer quality stories they no longer work for me. Every single story of yours gets 5 stars for both their length and depth. You take to time to go through even the most minute details and make the character have more depth. I can't wait for more Shepherd v)

FTaku out

I wholehartedly agree with FTaku.

Your stories are among the best on Literotica!

The characters, the plot, the details, the flow of the actual story... and the sex...

Thank you!

I must confess that I check your memberpage almost daily to see if there is something new coming up.

Ripperfish, Evil Alpaca, Dreamcloud, CastleStone (God bless his soul) and you Sir!

Keep up the good work, Please!

//Percysledge

This latest installment, was worth the wait! I will be anxiously awaiting the next chapter.

I love this story and always hope to find a new chapter whenever I open up the website.

I'd give you ten out of five if I could.

Please keep up the good work and if you could, submit more often.

Thanks Again.

The deeper into the saga of Ben Shepard you take us, the more I enjoy the journey! He's become a very real character for me, as are each of the cast that populate Ashburn Court! It's the real placing of your characters, the very realistic portrayal of relationships evolving authentically... Thanks for your efforts, looking forward to the next chapter!

Wow, absolutely an amazing installment. I'm so glad we will most likely not have to wait more than a week or two in order to read more. So much going on. Wendy's lawyer is getting sleazier. Catherine is getting married to Chanel, so glad you brought her back, which will add a changing dynamic between Ben and Catherine since who knows if Chanel can deal or not. Marguax flips out, what kind of potential pain and complications might this bring to Ben's faith in how his polyamorous lifestyle? Penny's boyfriend looks like been, coincidence? I absolutely love Tina, she may be submissiv, but damn is she fiercely defensive of Ben and his extended family. While potentially losing Marg, definitely losing Rochelle, and bringing home Gretchen I honestly cannot wait to see what is in store for him and his. Please be diligent, but please hurry with the editing of pt 5. Thank you for the joy and entertainment of these stories.

5*

Next, please?

Five stars again looking forward to seeing the next chapter.

awesome - though it is getting a bit busy on the stage...

I absolutely love your work. I actually particularly love your sci-fi stuff

However this is a bit of a nothing chapter.

Nothing really happens. You introduce characters that don't (at this point - & remembering that there is only 1 more chapter to go, add anything to either the narrative or the atmosphere) do much - it's all a bit meh.

I love your stories, but really am having some difficulty with Ben's behavior of late. He is having unprotected sex with women he barely knows much to quickly. The last story with Rain and now with Julie, a self professed sex maniac. Ben's whole thing is protecting women, but he has now put them all at EXTREME risk. Julie could have any number of STDs (HIV, Hep C, Herpes, HPV as the most dire). To think he would have unprotected anal sex with Julie is beyond belief. Not to mention if he impregnates either one his "nest egg" could face a serious challenge in a paternity suit. Please give Ben a bit more sense or at least have him keep some Magnums on hand for emergencies. He loves all his women so much, I just can't imagine him being so incredibly reckless (unless that is where you are going with the story). I really hate to criticize you, as I love your work, but this just really pushes my buttons.

Another great installment in Ben's adventures. So Mar is out. Can't wait to see which of Ben's ladies will rip into her. Looking forward to his stop in LA with Gretchen.

The Shepherd series has become a favourite of mine. Thank you for another thrilling instalment!

Thanks again to such a great storyteller for this series (ALL of yours as a matter of fact) that I am totally addicted to. You always come up with something more and then weave it all together for an absolutely awesome read!

Ben Shepherd series is one of my favorites. I can't wait for the next chapter

Thanks for creating it.

Thanks for writing this and sharing it. Almost fell onto the floor laughing at the top of page 8. Mr Shepherd is a very busy man. Engaging tale. 5*

Always good to see another episode of this story and see where the characters are at. Ben's come a long way. I'm curious about how you develop the stories. Ben definitely has a white knight complex, so does that drive the situations he gets into and then the story fills out with how he copes with that? I also like how the other supporting characters have their own relationships coming into the story. It's like everyone is on their own growth path. This story is always worth the wait. Cheers

your writing is as good as ever.

some notes

1. it was long, could have easily been split to 2 or 3

2. a bit of an overload, too much happen, you can progress the plot without another damsel save subplot

3. any news on Jack?

I usually don't comment, but I will now. This chapter was a waste. The plot didn't progress at all. We just got the same thing: Ben acting the hero. I liken this chapter to a broken record. Time to move the plot along.

While I enjoyed this chapter a lot, I do see where the complaints about the lack of progress. The thing to remember though is that this chapter is that it was never meant to be published as a standalone.

The original draft came out at 124,000 words; this posting was 59,500 words. It's just under half the story, and the first half at that. All the payoffs in any story come towards the end, and we haven't got that yet.

I think many of the complaints about this being a "waste" of a chapter would fall by the wayside if we had the whole story because then we would be able to see where BurntRedstone was going with the setup in this chapter.

That's why I say it wasn't too long, but too short.

I wonder if Gabriella will be attending Cat's wedding in part 4b/5?

I think it is time to bring her back home.

As always, it is great to see another installment of the Ben Shepherd series. Five stars, of course, and in no small measure due to your change in point of view style.

Heretofore you have always kept to the single POV of Ben. If he didn't see it or hear it directly, neither did we. When you brought Chanel back into the story and he sent her back with the kids on the jet, I resigned myself to waiting until the end of this segment or the beginning of the next before finding out, when Ben did, what happened at the airport between Cat and Chanel. I am very pleased with the way you split the narrative and didn't keep me in suspense.

It also worked very well with Tina and the entire gang at dinner in the new house. As someone else mentioned, the stage is getting quite crowded with main characters and this new style really helps to address that.

As for the two, count them, two, White Knight episodes, I liked the way they were neatly wrapped up with only one resulting in an addition to the harem. And the memory of the first fight shows improvement of his mental stability. You still have the thread of where he learned to dance to explore in the future, if you wish.

The only negative I have is the issue with Wendy and Tina. As careful as Ben is with vetting everything, it seems, through his lawyer, I find it to be quite a stretch that he simply never got around to getting a clean divorce from Wendy so he can marry Tina.

Loved it, really great story, please continue. Oh and do revisit our man with the bleating females who can't keep their hands off his shiny horns!

So my two cents worth - It's not too long - I'm happy getting more and more of Ben and his Extended family! The breakout portion you did at home at the new house without Ben there was fantastic - shows that you could write other side stories (if you wanted to) about the other characters! Not sure how other readers missed the plot development / moving forward; we have; Catherine and Chanel getting back together and getting married!,Margaux losing it and obviously not fitting in, we see Ben’s inner turmoil with the two new “White Knight” episodes where he realizes he can’t add any more relationships, (it’s at Hannah and the Dr.’s suggestion that he is bringing Gretchen home – so change up there) and finally we see the subplot of Wendy and the two lawyers added to.

I think it’s an excellent job! I don’t see how you are going to wrap it all up in one chapter – Thanks for the great read!

Whoops! I miscounted, there were actually three White Knight moments. One in the airplane on the way to Dubai, and two in Australia. So, let's see now, in terms of global events over the duration of Ben's story, we have multiple USA, multiple France (none in Italy, thank you), two in Costa Rica, one in the Middle East (airliner to Dubai) and two in the land down under. And he wonders why he is recognized by women where ever he goes.

I've said it since you started with the tales of Ben Sheppard, but awesome as usual. It was a treat to find a new installment today to read and looking forward to the continuation and things to come.

Thank you for continuing the story, I really appreciate your ability to tell a tale.

Love your story and how it flows. Like that Ben almost gets a break from being a White Knight. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Good character development, glad to see Chanel back in the circle of friends, she brings a different dynamic to the one man show that is Ben's life. In an ideal fantasy world i hope to see her accepting or even participating in the relationship Ben has with Catherine but that's just me.

For the new sub that is Gretchen, i have conflicted feelings. While i am glad that she got away from her husband, i also feel Tina and Lucy offer quite enough an outlet for Ben's emerging dom capacities. Hope Doc Granger has her fixed up fast and moving out. That is however my opinion.

Wich bring us to Margaux. I like that one, i hope that the author will manage to bring her around. Her spanish spitfire personality is in my opinion similar to Trish but she has had to harden her heart to live in the corporate world. A stay at Ashburn court would be good for her. A session of submission with Ben while Tina and Lucy watch is in order for her to get over her long range jealousy but that, i am afraid, is my fantasy speaking again.

With that all said, i hope the author's muse visit him soon so that we get to read many more adventures for our shinning knight/mechanical engineer.

It's pretty funny seeing how we aussies are perceived. The Shepherd series is my fav

Ha ha you make us Aussies look like drongos . OK just some of us . I love your writing

I do love your writing, but the incident with Margaux seemed out of place given the earlier chapters showing her growing. The pain she caused Ben solely because she jumped to conclusions seemed unnecessary. I read your Frank & Elyse and even though I did not love what happened to Frank I understood how it fit into the story and the character of Frank. Here it was not the place to have a scene like this. Still I do appreciate your stories and cannot wait to read more of what is in store for Ben and the women in his life. Thank you very much BurntRedstone

The flight attendant Julie clearly has sex frequently and from the sounds of things wasn't too discerning...

And yet Ben had unprotected sex with her... That seems like a life-altering disaster in the making...

Too bad about Margaux's jealousy...

Something that's bothered me since the original Ben series and just got worse as we learned more: how bad was the foster care system in Ben's home town? We have a foster dad who beat and accidentally killed a little girl for eating without permission, the foster dad who was sexually abusing girls, where he and four boys died in a fire, the drunk abuser who beat his wife to death and another foster boy set off an explosion to finish him off, and multiple spiral factures.

That's nine deaths around Ben in three different homes plus an unknown number of hospital requiring injuries, all without him getting any therapy. I'm not sure if I'm amazed how any more families accepted Ben, how Ben was able to come out so relatively stable, or how Ben didn't end up in some sort of government facility, either a psychiatric facility or juvenile detention.

TayJK

Tayjk42@gmail.com

Like any good novel I am dreading the final pages!!

T

East coast USA

I don't want his to end! We need more of his stories

1* quotation from me

you completly lost track of your own story and your characters, you turned your love story into dirty porn wich is realy sad.

you write as though pregnancy is the worst that could happen when having sex, what about std's? flight attendant julie has to be riddled with them

also, i thougt sex has to have meaning for ben not something casual, but hey fucking a flight attendant on a layover has meaning right?

margaux is still the worst character in your story and has no busines being in it, same goes for chanel.

its sad you have great story telling skills but have no clue how to keep a story togehter...altough, the ed story in that regard is way better.

tone down on the coincidences and the constant stream of violance just to show of the nature of Ben. its again distracting from the story.

you should also try to make characters decisions inline with their perona eg Gabriela would not go to Milan...not in a million years. leaving her children and the love of her life? nope i cant see it happening, she loves him to much to be separated this far.

if i where you i would find myself an editor with the ability to guide your stories in the right direction. the writing itself you got covered, you got talent thats for sure.

you should rewrite this story and eliminate parts of it...especialy the unwanted characters.

on a final note, omg the twins, what you did with those two is amazing, they are imo your best characters. in unison, trembling with anticipation...briliant.

The most amusing part was that he seemed like a swimmer. Its Australia. Even if he were conscious, that bit of blood from the event added with water at night.... Nope. Hes dead Jim. Though a bit surprised we got bull sharks but no casual mention of spiders.

Though for the sake of the other comments... Yes the story doesn't seem to move well. Though that is more due to a lack of prominent time markers than writing flow. If we could get Tina's pregnancy as the main marker it would make things seem more in place perspective wise.

When I was reading Ben's introduction to Rainor and Gretchen, specifically her looks at Ben, I kept wondering what drama she was going to put Ben into. My thought revolved around her being the psychopath more than Rain Man. That she was the real controller in that marriage and maybe turned Rainor into the asshole he is. So when I read the part of Ben finally finding her wedged and beaten, I immediately thought she killed Rainor and was now trying to get Ben to take her in. You see, the pattern of Ben to the rescue is well established and well known. An outsider may think that she can use him to take care of whatever problems she has. That's what I was thinking might be happening here.

Instead, you went the other way. Making her so abused as to be a battered woman in need of more than just rescued from the abuser, but to need serious treatment and help to give her some semblance of identity, self esteem, and be somewhat self sufficient. At some point, I think that Ben will not be able to stretch himself to cover all these needs the various women he's involved with have. Something is going to happen where he can't be the hero or that he will fail to save someone and what will that do to him? His core relationships will be there for him but the women like Margaux (who is gone now I think) will split and that will make him feel worse. Is Gretchen going to be that kind of relationship to Ben? A woman whose needs will outweigh the things she can give to Ben when he needs it? Someone who will use him and walk away or worse and try to poison his othe relationships? Or will she be what she seems like at this moment, an abused woman in need of help who may or may not be able to return that help with love and respect?

Thanks for your work and I will read the next chapter soon.

Its been 5* all the way through till now. Ben's protection from a fork wielding OAP - I don't think so - a cabin steward could have handled that - and gratuitous sex with high STD risk was totally out of keeping with Ben's character. Arrival miscalculations when circumnavigating East tend to result arriving earlier than expected rather than later. Also stop overs only occur when you are changing to a different flight and someone as intelligent as Ben would be aware of additional flights. Sorry marked down to 4* for being out of keeping with the story.

I too have my suspicions about Gretchen not really being a Sub. For someone who is helpless without being directed - she is asking a lot of probing questions about Ben's family back home. Also her kitchen was well stocked yet she made no attempt to look after Ben.

@Everything can kill.....

Do they have a lot of poisonous spiders swimming in Sydney Harbour?

Some thoughts:

1) In Victoria Australia, and thus Melbourne, AFAIK the age of consent is 16. This would probably be expected to have affected the girl's response to his question about when she turned 18.

2) As Lucy's a psychologist, it wouldn't have hurt for Tina to share her observations about the boyfriends with her. However it would be Tina's choice, so doesn't detract from the story.

3) Adequately filtering radioactive dust from the air intakes of trucks is hardly the sort of difficult engineering feat that would warrant Ben's attention.

4) From a previous chapter, Ben's comment about the low dust mining solution for the Russian company smacked a bit too much of self-congratulations, inconsistent with Ben's character.

More, more, more.

The age of consent in the U.S. is considered to be 18. This applies to particularly to people somewhat older than the person of interest such as Ben. The U.S. Federal government would look at an older man having sex with someone under 18 as statutory rape regardless of the foreign country’s laws. And he would probably be prosecuted.

This story line continues to enthrall. In contrast to many of the comments, I love that Ben is finally making progress and that Cat and Gab are finding their own lives. The scene in Milan was great and I was glad to see no problems there - just great character development and relationships. Margeaux went exactly the way that the story needed it to go, though we will see if she can stay away. I think Ben needs to have another one get away. Some women can't be saved because they need saved from themselves. That is tragic, but tragedy makes great stories!

If you continue to write, I would love to hear the resolution of the doctor on the plane and the older woman in Costa Rica.

Once again, five stars. Your grammar and spelling are much better, but you still trip on the occasional glaring error. Grammarly is a really good free app, that is unless you want the Professional version. Okay, moving on to the story content.

One thing has popped up repeatedly. I take it you're British, possibly Australian because in the US we say "the University" and not "University". You do a really great job portraying what I've thought as many uniquely American mannerisms and lifestyles. I really like that the gay/lesbian/bisexual lifestyle is just plain accepted, except for that guy in France.

Margaux turned out to be the woman she was expected to be, that was destined to be a failure.

I'm still not sure why Rain Man's face was bloodied and he fell overboard. It was too easy and too convenient. I'm former Special Forces, so I know how to mess with people's lives. I've also worked on boats. Something just did not make sense. Perhaps I just didn't read slowly enough.

Okay, two gone. Rochelle is gone with nothing written in that she is still in love with Ben. Catherine is now going to be married to Chanel, who seems to be accepting Ben but let's see when she tries to spend time with Ben.

We haven't seen Ben's hypnotherapy and that is going to be a vicious plot twist, possibly.

Ben has to get divorced and I feel a huge legal embarrassment for Wendy and her scumbag lawyer. I can't wait for the next installment.

Why is the Erotic Couplings 'Hall of Fame' the BurntRedstone Hall of Fame? I've been told you're cheating, by running a programme to boost all of your scores and trash all the competition, but nobody would be that petty, would they? And surely the Literotica moderators wouldn't allow that? Would they?

It includes stuff for my intellect like emotional negotiations and character development (Although, I will grant the time scales are a little unlikely), while alternately appealing to my baser desires of being a strong, caring, guardian with ethically justified violence AND sex with multiple women. And meaningful sex too! not just wank fodder or empty lust.

Basically, it seems to touch the vast majority of male fantasies, rather than just the few baser instinct ones. And seems to be pretty well written to boot.

If you leave Sydney, Australia on Sunday, you will arrive in Chicago on Sunday at approximately the same time. You gain a day flying west to east. Flight time is about 20 hours. I would expect all flights, airlines to have a stop for fuel or a layover, or plane change.

,.. but one minor tidbit of info from an ex weatherman. In the western Pacific a big tropical storm would be a Typhoon, but in the eastern Pacific, stretching out west past the Hawaiian Islands, such a storm would be a Hurricane ( they rarely get that far west and are normally weakening by then ). I know, it was just one of Ben's bad dreams, so no harm, no foul. Please keep these great stories coming, I really love them, thank you!

Thought you should know that a business jet would operate out of an FBO, Fixed-base Operator, not the normal arrival/departure terminal. Love your storys.

And I have to say this chapter is my least liked, mostly because it distances Ben from his support network and puts him in many situations where he isn't comfortable culminating in Margaux's betrayal. It's still a good read and well written.

...with a couple of great Segments, including especially Ben's appearance in Milan with Daniel and Miriam at Gabriella/s new business! Ben's return encounter with Margaux was a disaster for them both, but good riddance to her from the story line, hopefully. Her only positive contribution was to create a situation in which Gretchen would join Ben's Family (as a replacement for Margaux? Thanx for another Great Read!

not bad

Just finished this chapter. As for being "IN" the story. At this point knowing it is finished I would look to having Trish and one other as travel partners with Ben.

Ben shows he is a genius in few ways but very dumb in others. It’s an ok balance I guess. Just seems like by now he would understand more.

I find myself this deep into your ash burn court series and I feel like my time has been…wasted by now. Everything that I didn’t want to happen happened, and the writing at THIS stage has taken a nosedive. I just can’t read this anymore

You have lost your focus!

Happy with the story line with Catherine; looking forward to that wedding. Happy with Gabriella and her new job. Can see her getting everything set up then moving back to the States. She CAN be a long distance CEO… I think. Very nice to see the interaction with Ben, Ashley and her kids. That will be a good grounding setup for him like Tina & Christopher (plus baby on the way) and Gabriella family with Miriam & Daniel. The other families have much older kids so while they will provide some good grounding; they are just great to be with.same goes for friends (Rain, Lucy, etc.).

The German sub Gretchen will provide an interesting plot. Not sure I will like Ben being a fully Dom Master because of Gretchen’s influence. Hopefully the other woman (Tina, Lucy and Twins) can guide her to a more positive lifestyle. Again thank-you for this series and your writing talent!

Not a fan of the Margaux or Catherine/Chanel storylines at all.

The man you have written Ben to be would not have started up a relationship with a woman plagued by jealousy and definitely not someone that has always been long distance. The man doesn't like to travel and needs to be emotionally connected to his partners which those two traits don't allow. It's like you wanted to find a plot that showed Ben being betrayed and forced the scenario. Worst storyline in the entire series.

Also, having one of his core ladies find another partner outside their group just feels wrong, like a betrayal. Especially one who pined for and pursued him so hard from the beginning and is one of his main supports whom he loves more than anything. It would have been a better decision to have her focus on Gabriella as an extra partner since that was established and keeps it within their trust circle. Then having them get engaged? That breaks the whole basis of this open love story. One of the first arguments made is that marriage is a contract with expectations of fidelity and to make the 'friends with benefits' model work, marriage wasn't a good fit. The Tina engagement didn't set well either to be honest for the same reason. You use marriage and outside relationships as a plot device to separate the women who you want to exit the main stage but then try to use it for those that are staying too? It just doesn't feel right and dampens the enjoyment.

I did like the Gretchen character though...a great study on the extremes of that lifestyle. She could have been a great addition long term and didn't need the Margaux thread at all to be established. All the Gabriella scenes were top notch as well.

Unfortunately my disappointment in your plot decisions and disregard to your established character traits made this my least favorite chapter overall.

I think your story was wonderful thank you.5 star in my book.

I would like to thank you for your wonderful series 5star 🌟 gpa

Okay, another five stars, -- this widely traveled installment covered ground from the USA to Milan, to the UAE, to Australia, and back, Ben is bringing back another wounded birdie, ... Penny, Karen and Rain got their new house, and Ben's adopted daughters now have their own boyfriends too. The court date for Wendy (Ben's ex) suing Ben is approaching and her sleazy lawyer is getting desperate, ... this tale is really revving up, ... ;-) TTFN

It was inevitable that a situation like what happened w/ margaux would occur

Also, I wonder how nasty the lawyer and court proceedings will be

Might even have margaux add fuel to the media fire storm that's defs going to happen

Certainly an exciting journey

Another winning episode!! Intrigue, foreshadowing, closeups of each cast member, I'm loving it!! Thank you!

Minus one Spaniard, plus one Deutschlander -- the 'significant other' total stays stable. And Ben didn't have to get any more physical scars. His mental state may have shifted a bit toward the negative, but we shall see....

I love these lengthy stories like reading one of the tens of thousands of novels I've read over my lifetime! 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS! Also a huge thank you for being such and excellent Author, my favorite Author!

repeat: Okay, another five stars, -- this widely traveled installment covered ground from the USA to Milan, to the UAE, to Australia, and back, Ben is bringing back another wounded birdie, ... Penny, Karen and Rain got their new house, and Ben's adopted daughters now have their own boyfriends too. The court date for Wendy (Ben's ex) suing Ben is approaching and her sleazy lawyer is getting desperate, ... this tale is really revving up, ... ;-) TTFN

As always, great story and wishing the editing and proofreading was better

Yin and yang. (No good deed goes unpunished...)

Despite the anonymous and quiet lifestyle Ben would have preferred, there are many judgemental critics that prefer shadenfreud as well as fans of a heroic antihero. Fans that put him a pedestal as well as many that would like him humiliate.

Hope we've seen the last of Margaux