All Comments on 'A Slave to the Servants Ch. 24-1'

Yay! So glad you're back and hopefully feeling much better!

She almost stabbed a warrior, and she has nightmares about the brothers. It's good to know she's not completely helpless, and previous actions DO in fact, have consequences.

I'm confused as to why the chapter is 24-1 instead of simply 24... I guess I'll find out in about two weeks.

5 star story, as usual.

Love the story I am glad you are back!

I am rather angry at Damien and his brothers for not believing Ciara when she reveals her secret. It's very depressing to not have the support of the people you love. Nu-Reeh obviously heard her tell them and controlled their response. She then 'punished' Ciara for her 'wrong' thoughts. Ciara is in a deeply distressing situation with no way out. I wouldn't be surprised if it affects her ability to conceive.

So glad your back..I hope Nu-reeh doesn't hurt Ciara to much when she finds out that she told the guys a out the control implant that she has...the disappearing men is a neat twist. the fact that the woman can't find them is puzzling unless the guys have an implant as well and don't know it. And Hannah and her sister have figured out how to disable them. that would be a neat trick to save the family and help them escape and stuff

I agree with Anon's comment that it is satisfying to know that she is having nightmares about her family. I find it very comforting that she didn't just let it happen with absolutely no consequences. I think this just proves that you are an incredible writer to have the forethought to realize that no self respecting Earth woman would take that kind of mistreatment and simply be okay with it. I can't wait till she finally has to fess up to the family what her dreams are about. It may actually be better if she doesn't tell them and when they start sharing her dreams again they have to live through it the way she had to. Incredibly impressed and I cannot wait for the next chapter! Thanks again for writing! I wait patiently for the 14th! :)

Absolutely amazing as usual! Glad that you are back and feeling better :) So my guess is that Hannah is working with the bandits and that's why the women can't find them...or maybe I'm completely wrong. Can't wait to find out!!!

i hope you're doing better and the morning sickness is passed. i'm so glad you submitted this early, i read your recently updated comment that said you would not be back until Dec. 14, and so i was so surprised this chapter showed up. glad you're back.

about your new chapter, i love the way you handled ciara's after effects of her punishment. making her process her punishment in her dreams is good because she can't do it any other way. during her waking hours she's so enveloped in her new purpose that she's dealing with all of that. i agree with another commenters suggestion about the dreams being revealed to the men during the bonding moments after her conception, that way they can understand her and humans better, because in the chapters previous to the punishment chapter, the men got it in their heads that punishment of the slaves was a good thing and if done correctly would bring them satisfaction and the slaves would not feel any lingering affects or fear of them. that was a bad statement to make to the rest of the compound because not all women find pleasure in pain, and yes they would fear their owners. i have more to say about this chapter but i really have to go, but i wanted to make sure to tell you we missed you.

I look forward to the next. Damien is still my favourite but not by much I adore all of the brothers. Sigh. Thank you for posting. Hope you are feeling better soon.

Great chapter, kind of sad to think she would leave them to go back to Earth... if they could just get away from Nu ree.Love the story hope you are feeling a little better

How about posting the next one on the 10th of dec that would be an excellent BD prezzy for me. LOL (looks at DW with big puppy dog eyes)

Thanks for updating this, I've been counting down the days! I was a little sad with this chapter, they seem to be falling apart again. I also very much believe that when Ciara becomes pregnant and if they have their bond again, they might loose Damian. I think when he finds out about her dreams he's going to be very upset. I hope they are all happy again soon. More soon please, you're killing me with the wait!!! This is the best story ever!

thank you for coming back and still writing to many times have authors not come back after taking a break this has boosted my faith in you finishing the story on this site and not in a book or another site

I am such a big fan of your work. I loooooove this story line and every thing else that you have written. Looking forward to the next installment and glad to hear you are feeling better.

sounds like lil Hannah might be collecting a harem huh? hehe if not maybe she should!

hope ya feeling better soon and can enjoy being preggers yourself.

You were greatly missed...X

Thanks once again for a delightfully twisted story line. Hope the ginger is doing the trick, the tale of morning sickness is strangely ironic. Salivating for the next installment.

Glad to see you back, hang in there. Thanks for sending us a story to brighten up our Tuesday.

I look forward to each new page. I didn't discover your story until last month and read all of it in one sitting--and couldn't wait for the next page. You really make your characters live, and your fictional/fantasy world is made believable with vivid descriptions and action. Thanks for weaving such a moving tale.

had a sorta-kinda similar-but-not thought with rissa abt the thieves LOL...i thought hannah recruited the thieves to kidnap the men to indoctrinate them to what really goes on in their world to start some kind of revolution....just a thought how come the thieves think independent from the women's mind control? wait, are the "thieves" men or women? sorry got kinda lost....anyhoo, i'm so glad you posted earlier than the end of the month....as always i liked the chapter (i may not always agree with the subject matter of ALL the chapters but i always like reading them)....this story just gets better and better...good luck with the whole pregnancy...fortunately, when i was pregnant i only had a month of morning sickness and it was just during mornings but i slept A LOT...even at work!...i couldn't help it, i just conked out...good that my office always had a closed door and they were just 15-minute naps...

boy how i have missed reading your excellent stories thank you you made the wait disappear with this excellent chapter

Like many readers I'm glad your back (and hopefully feeling better)... great chapter, loved it it from beginning to end. Seems like a good twist with the 'missing' men, maybe Hannah and Ra are creating their own compound where they can transport Ciara/Rachel to, so she can be 'free'... happy ending if this is the reason... Or it could be more sinister can't wait to read more...

Although in the daytime Ciara is acting like it didn't happen, her horrible beating by the brothers is giving her classic PTSD symptoms of nightmares and sleep difficulty. This is a realistic response to what occurred between them, and I am so glad to see you address it (although I admit I'm still having some difficulty with her ability to ignore it enough to get pleasure sexually from them).

If Ciara becomes pregnant and their bond is reestablished, her men will finally get to experience her horror and pain from that night. They need to "feel" what happened from her perspective in order to really get how serious it was. And as much as they care about her, I think it will be very hard for them--especially Damien--to forgive themselves for hurting her so badly.

Welcome back, DW--you always leave us wanting more!

I was so excited to see that you'd posted another chapter that i put off going to bed to read it! And as always it's a fabulous, spectacular, amazing and engrossing chapter. Can't wait for the next one. LOVE your work.

Your fan base is delighted.

In this chapter I particularly enjoyed your examination of "just who's the crazy one here?" This in reference to Ciara's big secret about how the women of Pateria control the emotions of the men. Few things are as crazy-making as having the people around you telling you that you're imagining things. In your story we already know that Ciara is right, so we feel her plight keenly. It's like wanting to yell at the horror movie screen and tell the character, "Look out behind you!" So engaging is your writing.

As an aside, I have a question that I've been meaning to ask. I sometimes wonder whether I am reading the pronunciation of characters' names correctly. (I apologize if this has already been asked and answered.) In your story, I have been reading Ciara with a hard C, as if it were Kiara. Kein I have been reading as two syllables, as in key-in. But I see that it could also be a single syllable, as in keen or kine.

If you have a moment and the inclination, I'd love it if you could leave your intended pronunciations in a comment here. Or, I would certainly understand it if by author's prerogative you prefer to have readers use their own interpretations.

Meanwhile, I'm glad you're back, presumably feeling better. I've heard it said that the more nausea you experience, the better the baby's environment. It's supposed to indicate that everything is switched over for the little one's comfort, chemistry-wise.

Who knows? It made me feel better about it when I was sick.

Thanks too for coming back a day early. You are a peach of an author!

I haven't even read it yet. I'm just that excited right now.

Of course it's a given that it's going to be good. Love this story. :)

The story is incredibly well-done, and there are two things I wanted to say that echo comments I've seen others make on this and previous chapters:

A) I would read this if there were no sex.

B) Thank you for having her have nightmares about it. An experience of that magnitude needs to have a lasting impression. It amazes me how they think they're treating her as if she's free, but they maintain the same patronization in so many ways - which is realistic. If that's all you know, it's hard to see where your attitudes are wrong. Minor tweaks seem like huge adjustments. I look forward to seeing them finally, truly, at the end treat her as an equal.

When you finally do finish (several months from now :P), do you think you could put it all in one work? Maybe put it up on Amazon - whether you decide to sell it or have it be free, I would get it. Heck, I'd pay $25 for it as if it was a print book, and the Kindle app is free, so if it was also free on Amazon, any of your fans could read it in a single, organized volume.

You've written a great story here, thank you for writing it down for us to see and for not abandoning it.

Awe-inspiring writing,wonderful chapter.

I absolutely loved reading your new chapter. I'm so glad you addressed the "punishment." I thought Ciara was a little too forgiving and unaffected by it. It bothered me so I'm glad to read that she remains affected by the punishment. This story is my favorite and I can't wait to read more.

You have such talent! I agree with others that you should publish the whole, with or without the sex, it's still an incredible story. I read the first 23 chapters three times waiting for 24! I'm totally involved in this world because it's a very well thought out world (though not one I would like to live in.) Keep up the great work, and best wishes for a safe and trouble-free pregnancy.

Ciara's fear is coming out somewhere. Their 'punishment' was horrifying and not at all the way they would punish each other. It's reasonable that she can't just forgive and forget, no matter how much she wants to understand them.

I'm looking forward to another chapter. Maybe Hannah is collecting men, to make her own village. If Ciara is pregnant again (with a girl), she'll bond to her men again and they will be able to 'see' how Nu-Reeh controlled them. They might be more eager to escape then.

Hope you feel better over the next few weeks and that you don't get too sick of ginger!

Glad to hear the ginger is helping. Hope it and the doctors' magic "stuff" keeps the morning sickness at bay.

Keep up the good work. You have us all on tender-hooks.

Not gonna lie, I have spent every week since you posted the last chapter looking for updates. read the whole story again just to keep it fresh in my mind. i back everyone up in that you should get this published, its really captivating. Only thing is (might be because I'm blond lol) I didn't understand why Nu-Ree punished her at the cabin? I'll go back and read it but I figured all she needed was sex twice a day which she did? Or way it just because she upset the men when they thought she was mad? Anyway glad your feeling a bit better with all the ginger, hopefully it'll pass soon. Update quickly, I can't wait for the next one :) x

I checked everyday and not only that... i re-read the series EVERYDAY! I love you writing style so much i could kiss you! You help me with my book deprived ways!

thank you! i love how the story is moving forward. perhaps the men will understand ciara when she gets pregnant and start bonding with them again.

like many others i reread your previous stories. they are so full of nuance and atmosphere, love it!! the storyline is getting deeper and more stressed i see ;)

thank you and take care,

p.s. ginger ale is one of my fav drinks when im sick.

Hmm.. men disappearing and the women don't know where? I love the fact that although I can think up lots of reasons why this might be, i'm excited to find out the real version, as it's not obvious which way you'll take it. Hooray! That's why we love this - you think up twists the rest of us can't see coming.

Also, yes, thanks for not ignoring the psychological effects of a savage beating that basically came out of the blue after chapters filled with "we won't hurt you". Yeah, right. I know the guys have a different concept of pain but, huh. Wondering how strong Nu-reeh's mind control is. If she ordered the guys to hurt Ciara - does C ever consider this? Scary. Thanks for keeping us all so well entertained!

I always enjoy your stories with the various twists and turns. Just when I think the story is wrapping up you surprise me.

*****

What if Ciara conceives a boy? Since only women carrying a female child will bond with her men, she won't have that available to help her convince them she is not delusional. Will Nu-Reeh accept a male child from her or will she abort it and keep trying for girls?

I LOVED this chapter! As usual your writing owns me and I giggled, teared and moaned my way through pure bliss. It is so ironic to me that sometimes I get the feeling that male dominance is the key to a lot of the wars and pestilence; and here is a place where females are in power and not only do they have some of the same troubles but others as well!

I love the family bond. I don't think my husband could balance it out between his Nascar and my birdwatching; but as soon as I convince him he needs 3 or 4 "brothers" we wil be great! I can't wait for Hanna to chime in on all this and I kinda hope the next child will be Chris' even though I am head over heals with Damian. I can't help but hope that Ciara comes into her own strength that if Hanna found a way to remain in her life and everyone knows now how to read there personal signs that she can find her children.

Time will tell and I'll be waiting on pins and needles for every little revelation.

Thanks! For every single word.

Great story teller. Can't wait to read how they're going to defeat big bird, Nureeh and her flock.

Awesome! Can't wait to read more :)

cannot wait to read next installment

So glad that you are back! I really need my weekly fix!

The wait was agonizing, but worth it. You always manage to take a turn I didn't expect. I think I'm going to have to go back and re-read it all over again from the beginning while waiting for the next installment!

Welcome back! Can't wait for the next chapter. Very well done on this one, as always!

im so curious to see where you take it but to just let you know i love this story and will keep coming back for more as long as you write it. thank you . you are now one of my favorite authors!

With the mood swings she's having it s

eems she already has one on the way

I stayed up pretty much all night to read through this story! Its fabulous!!!

So glad you're back Everytime I read another chapter, I wish it doesnt end. Faithfully waiting for the next upload

Ready for the next installment when ever you are.

I'm happy that you're back! I love that this installment addresses what they did to her. I'm happy also that you're uncovering more of her internal division.

Great post! As usual I'm waitng for the next installment as usual with bated breath.

Sh'zade

I feel so sad for her... being used as a breeding slave;

and when she has nightmares about the men because

they punished her earlier its even more sad. I just want

her to feel loved and safe and happy... everyone is

being mean jerks to her. I noticed its been like this for a while,

and as a female reader I feel a little oppressed. Well

in my opinion anyway. Girls don't get enough respect as it is.

But the women on that planet hardly fit the image

of what we consider feminine so they don't count.

Please incorporate other feelings to be empathetic with besides

pain, sadness, and frustration. I made the reading a bit difficult

this time around. You're a soon to be mother which

is exciting news and we hope everything goes well!

This is the first comment I've ever left, but I just had to tell you how much I love the story! Can't wait for the next chapter!

I love your stories! I cannot wait for next n part. CON-GREATS ON THE BABY! Is this the first one?.... Glad your feeling better.

This is my first comment too. The erotica is great, the sci fiand story better. One suggestion, give us more depth.with the characters. They have the same fears and same child like reactions over and over. Let them grow, have more adult thoughts. They seem immature and repetitive. While we love them, and your story. Let them grow. I keep thinking these are children having sex, not mature beings.

I dont usually comment but I got really scared after I read the last poster's comment about giving the characters more depth. The story's been GREAT so far and I would hate to see it change if too much change takes place with the characters. Remember that these brothers are raised to exist as a single brotherly unit; not single individuals. All their life they've been one unit and in their world they are accustomed to certain routine for everything --- that's probably why they seem monotonous and repetitive. Their life is sculpted from youth and their world is different and somewhat 'boring' compared to earth so they have little emotional experience. The way the act, feel, behave is just part of the story and i think it helps to define the story. And the story has been great thus far even with their limited emotions and changing this would disrupt the story too much. Anyway that's just my opinion. Great story - dont change too much DW - just continue to write from the heart. Soooo waiting for the next installment.

Can't wait for the next chapter. you are a great writer and I could definitely see this as a book.

They should just all escape to Earth :P

Great story by the way. I will admit, I'm reading this more for the story than the actual sex.

Hello Doc

Give up your day job.

You are a writer !

Al

Was hoping the next chapter would be up. Just finished re-reading the whole story. Dying to know what happens next!!

I Totally agree with the other commentator. You should right full time. I have never been so grateful to come to the scene late. There have been some chapters that if I had had to wait...let's just say I would have been a totally distracted person. I have laughed, cried, and laughed again. This series is just as good as anything Patricia Briggs or LKH has put out. I feel soooo sorry for all those sci-fi and fantasy readers out there who don't know you exist. Because of you I am going to register to Literotica and make it its own toggle on my phone. Lastly, let me just say, like those authors previously mentioned, you make me Truly understand what an Addict feels like! THANK YOU and may God Bless you every day.

Again -- your nuanced treatment of punishment is masterful. The idea of Ciara being told that Hannah could have been at the cabin , but was not as a form of punishment was an example of punishment as an art form

8 jan 12

I was afraid you wouldn't update as promised. I was sooooo skeptical of the plot of this story and then again all I wanted was HOT SEX ALLLLLLLL the time, But you have won me over with your characters and the story itself. I LOVE sci-fi and you did this sooooo right. PLEASE keep writing for us! Tell us of what books we should check out but NEVER stop writing for us. Your very, very VERY good!

It sort of bothers me that she is once again having very harsh thoughts about the men she "loves" while possibly pregnant since it caused an issue for Hannah as she interacted with her father's family. I have to say, you have created dynamic characters instead of the typical stock characters you see so often, which is why I plan to see this story through to the end. Lol.

Your characters and the world you have created for them is engrossing. The depth you are able to bring in them is a talent that some published authors lack. That being said, I must admit I'm still struggling with Ciara/Rachel's "lesson" in the previous chapter. I couldn't get into the sex scene in this chapter at all...I'm still viewing it in the context of the previous chapter, I guess. The entire situation they are involved in somehow removes the sensuality of their actions, but I suppose that might be the point... Either way, I'm enjoying the story overall. I'm interested to see the resolution you bring to the intricate plot you've woven. :]

The first chapter put me off a little, but I was so glad I kept reading when it not only worked but got better and better... Then, I thought the first pregnancy would kill the story and you navigated that beautifully, the baby growing so fast instead of being taken away as an infant was really brilliant and the behavior of Nu- Reeh made her seem less evil, but over the last few chapters the magic has begun to dwindle. The story has become depressing, the amazing fantastic alien orgies are a tasteless chore that only happens on fertile days, everyone is miserable... I really hope this story pulls out of the nose dive soon. Also, I was unimpressed that, like so many male authors, you stopped them having sex due to the advanced pregnancy,.(And that Kein and Evan didn't get a chance to enjoy the milky boobies after Hannah left the nest.)

The story took a dip a few chapters ago, but the addiction you created is back, and it has been improving steadily. Seems like the next big twist is just around the corner, keeps it exciting!

This is just turning into a ridiculous slog through muddy crap. I really don't like any of the characters any more and I don't care what happens to them. How can I possibly care about characters who have no personal growth? The story should have stopped SO many chapters ago. I don't remember the last time I stopped reading something before it was done, but I just can't read any more of this.

This story is fantastic.

People that complain are ridiculous. YOU'RE READING STORIES ON A PORN SITE! If you want to read something deep, with "character" growth go pick up a literary staple, don't search porn stories, jack-ass.

That being said, I adore all the characters and think you did a fantastic job. : )

While some commenters may find this story lacking, tastes differ and there's no reason to be insulting. This is definitely one of the best series that I've read here; most authors don't come close. And, hell, I'm a lesbian.

I've been engrossed for the last couple of days and the only serious criticism I have is that the *italicized* words in the narration are extremely distracting. Almost every time I read them as a tonal indicator for a "stressed" word, but I understand trying to be consistent.

Thanks for writing!

I wish you would have done something to make the men apologize to ciara when they find out she was right about the women controling the men. It makes me mad that they wouldn't trust her about that.....

This story is full of character growth. Ciara is changing the culture of the world around her with her "family" that used to be her masters. There are several good stories on this site and this is one of them. Thanks to the author for sharing this story freely. What the hell is slog?

I'm just putting it out there on the off chance I am right, I think the bandits are going to be groups of men who aren't influenced by the women and eventually the main character and the brothers will be taken by them. Then I believe the women's bond to the brothers will be broken.

it is causing him to have a first reaction of disbelief to anything Ciara says. He angrily frames everything as disobedience.

The story started out with influences of B/D, but it feels like it has drifted more towards abuse, both psychological and physical. A prime example is Damien insisting he knows more about human pregnancy than Ciara. His claim 'HE will stop the morning sickness'. He then blames Ciara for it, as if it is a failing of hers, that she has morning sickness. He is acting like a classic ignorant bully or abuser.

He doesn't know the reality of why morning sickness happens, so he makes up a reason to blame Ciara, and threaten her with punishment.

Also, it really pisses me off how hypocritical the five of them are about 'there are no secrets in thr family'. They keep plenty of secrets from Ciara. They conveniently forget Ciara is not bonded with them; they literally CAN'T have any secrets because of their bond. They then get pissed at Ciara because she doesn't tell them everything she is thinking, then when she does tell them something, their response is either disbelief or punishment.

Psychologically, she is still a slave. They are deluding themselves; they do a few outward things like letting her sit on furniture, not calling them Master or feeding herself, and think that means she's no longer a slave.

Great writing, and good story. Thanks for sharing your fertile imagination, and for all the work it takes to put together a submission.

GeoD

Agreeing with GeoD here - they can’t handle “family” without the bond and it ends up frustrating and severely hurting everyone. They aren’t psychically linked with slaves so they can understand that relationship. But family without a bond? That’s called being broken.

On the “bright side” once linked again the entire family will be treated to the PTSD they inflicted on Ciara while trying to treat her as a male paterian warrior.