All Comments on 'A Statue of Love'

Lovely rendition of Pygmalion and the feeling was definitely there.

No disrespect though, grammatically speaking, the story needs a great deal of work. I was distracted from the flow and power of it by having to re-read nearly every sentence to understand it.

There were a few colloquial terms I didn't understand too but that's rather inconsequential.

Perhaps, if I were you, I might not have so graphically described a few crudities here and there. There was a beauty to the story and the language that was disrupted by some of the less attractive aspects of gay sex. For example, if I were writing a beautiful love scene between a man and woman, I wouldn't stop the story so my female character could wash out her vagina. It's implied in the tone of the story that the sex is clean and hygienic, and by mentioning the cleaning thing, you introduce 'dirty'. Ironically, in trying to emphasise clean, you're inadvertantly implying that it wasn't clean before. Just a suggestion :)

One last thing, I would end the story on a future promise of love, not an outright declaration. In real life, people don't fall in love quite so quickly and with the story already somewhat implausible, that HEA nudged it just a bit too far into unreality. The beauty and attraction of a story like this is that it sits on the edge of possibility, just out of reach. In real life, it *could* happe—a lovely tryst between strangers connected through a statue, a chance meeting of fate—but that's where the fantasy should end and reality should set back in, for it to be real and attainable for readers. The likelihood of the meeting, the tryst and the 'I've only known you a few hours during which we have barely talked but I love you forever' is not something that's easily believable. It's actually a more powerful fantasy if the reader can see it integrating into their real life.

All that being said, your dialogue was good. The tone was lovely and the emotion behind it was real and compelling. I just wanted to let you know what would have made it a 5-star story for me :) I'm happy to discuss feedback too, if you so wish :)

I think you're are confusing your literary references. My Fair Lady is a rendition of Pygmalion not this story. The Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw wrote Pygmalion and it is a story about a cockney flower girl that receives speech lessons from Professor Higgins. They eventually fall in love.

Not real found of this one... it just doesn't flow very well at all.

I think the storyline was very good, like i love the whole concept of the story, but i think it was rushed and not really written well, but if you could re write it maybe make it longer and not so perverted, which i mean when he was tryn to fuk the statue, this could be a gushy romance, an a very good one!

I do not know which story some of the comments are about, but surely not this one.

Why do some of these people read stories on here if they think they are so bad, GO AND BUY A BOOK, I found this a very enjoyable read and look forwareds to more from you.

very good story. its nice to find something with a story attached rarther banging . found this a happy loving sexy story .well done

Cheesy :/

I swear I thought where you going with it was that he had lost it and was only imagining the real guy.