A Tale of Two Cousins

"Damn, we have done all of todays and good part of tomorrow mornings mending already. Let's take a break after you finish tying that wire," He suggested cheerfully.

He plopped down in the field near me as I finished up the patch I was working on. When I joined him he was effusive in praising my fence mending ability.

"Pop wasn't expecting this job to be finished until Friday noon. As fast as we are going we will be able to goof off some and still be finished early."

"If we skip the goofing off, we can be finished even earlier," I naively suggested.

"You need to relax, city boy. Pop ain't going to pay no bonus for early completion," He joked.

"Ok, guess it won't hurt to take it a little easy. But there isn't much to do out here."

"Sure there is," He countered and jumped on top of me.

We wrestled around in the tall grass for maybe twenty minutes before I pinned. I was lying on top of him holding his shoulders firmly to the ground while he continued trying to escape. He was panting and grinning when he finally gave up struggling.

"Looks like the city cousin bested the country cousin," I said proudly as I continued to press my body against his.

"Looks like, I guess I need to give you a prize. But what should it be?" He said as he thrust his hips forward and pressed his crotch into mine.

I was so surprised when I realized that he had an erection, that he was able to easily throw me over and reverse our positions.

"Look who bested who," He crowed as he began to gently dry hump me. "I guess I get the reward now."

I tried to push him off, but he had too much leverage on me at that point.

"Come on cut it out, Roger!" I demanded.

"Not until you admit something."

"Ok, fine you're the toughest, strongest cousin."

"No, not that. We took care of that issue when we were kids. I want you to admit that you were thinking about my cock when we were jerking off together the other night."

"Fuck you, get off me. I'm not queer!" I yelled up at him as I began to struggle again.

"I didn't say you were queer, Billy," He said sounding very sad as he rolled off of me.

"Were you thinking about my cock?" I asked softly still trying to catch my breath.

"Yes, so I guess you think I am queer now!" He yelled tearing up.

"No, Roger, I'm sorry. I tried to think of tits and pussy, but I just kept seeing your stroking your cock and your cock spurting cream. Are we queer?"

"How would we know? Neither of us ever fucked a girl," He said really fighting back tears.

I wanted to tell him that I had fucked a girl. But that would mean telling him about Mary. I couldn't tell him or anyone else that I had fucked my cousin. Even worse was the knowledge that the whole time she was sucking my cock all I could think of was him.

"I don't know if you have to have ever had your cock inside a pussy to know, Roger. Tell me something; are you still a virgin because it never worked out with a girl or did it never work out because you didn't really want to have sex with a girl?"

The question definitely hit home. I could almost see the wheels turning in his head. I knew how he felt, because it was a question I had asked myself many times, but never had the courage to answer.

"I don't know, Billy. I have dated some, but time is scarce for that stuff with school work and farm chores and all. Sometimes, when other guys would BS about the pussy they were getting, it seemed like something I wanted. But it never seemed to be worth the work. I could just jerk off anytime, have a quick orgasm and get back to what I needed to do. But maybe the real reason was because I just wasn't interested."

"That is kind of the way I felt. Even when I had a girlfriend that was sucking my cock I can't say I was especially into it either. Roger before the other night had you ever thought about another guy's cock?"

"Some yeah, I figured everybody probably does even though no one talks about it. Hard not to take notice other guy's cocks in the gym locker room. Also, remember I told you about my friend Johnny and his brother's porn stash?"

"Yeah, what happened with him?"

"Well, we were looking at the pictures and both of us got hard and horny. I am not really sure how it started but we both ended up with our pants down and our cocks in our hands."

"Did you touch each other at all?" I asked hoping to hear that he had.

"No but I kinda wanted to. Maybe not the first time, but after a few times, I couldn't think of anything else I spent more time watching his cock than I did looking at the pussy pictures."

"Damn, how many times did you two jerk off together?"

"I didn't count, but it was a bunch of times; all one summer and fall, until it got too cold to pull our pants down in the barn. We started up again the next spring and did it most of the next summer."

"Why did you quit?"

"His dad died and his mom sold the farm. They moved far away."

I chocked up as soon as he mentioned his friend's dad dying.

"Oh shit, Billy, I'm sorry, fuck!" He said as I began to cry.

I tried to tell him it was ok, but I couldn't speak. He sat up and pulled me into his arms. Once again I found myself sobbing on his shoulder. Despite all of the sexual confusion I was feeling at that point, there was no question that being consoled in Roger's arms felt good. He rubbed my back through a good ten to fifteen minute cry jag. He was still rubbing my back when I looked up into his eyes and thanked him for being such a great friend. I managed to ask the question that had been on my mind before he mentioned Johnny's dad dying.

"Roger, you and your friend through all that time, you never once touched each other or even talked about it?"

"Once, the last time we were in the barn together, about a week before he moved away. We were up there with our pants down, jerking off one last time. He stopped and told me that there was something he had been thinking about for a long time. He added that since it was the last time he would have a chance he wanted to tell me that he had wondered what it would be like to touch each other's cocks. I immediately admitted that I had had the same thoughts. We both shrugged and started playing with each other's dicks."

"Wow, how did it feel?"

"It was okay, but I guess we were both too scared to really enjoy it. We fooled around with each other feeling them and stroking a little for maybe ten minutes and then we went back to jerking our own cocks. After we came, we pulled our pants back up real quick and got out of there. In the months since then I have thought about it a lot and wish we would have done more."

"More like what?"

"I am not sure, but I definitely wish we had made each other cum."

"Oh, yeah I can see once you got that far that you would want to know what it was like to make another guys cock spurt," I concurred still trying to be noncommittal about wanting queer sex.

"How about you, Bill, you ever touch another guy's cock or anything like that?"

"No, all I ever did was that stuff I told you about in Europe jerk off with my friend. We just lay in our separate beds and jerked off while talking about hot chicks. Can't say I didn't think about what it would be like though. Damn, that reminds me, you siad that you never.."

"I'm sorry, Billy, I wanted to tell you but was afraid you would think I was a pervert. Why did you two stop anyway?"

"Partially, because he got laid by a woman in Venice, but mostly circumstance I guess. We were never in the right situation again. It was just something that happened. I guess we were both a little embarrassed."

"But you thought about doing more?"

"I don't know, I guess. But last fall I started dating more and had a steady for awhile. Like I told we got into oral sex, so I didn't need to experiment with that shit to get off."

"So does that mean you don't wonder what it would be like anymore?"

"Well, I think about it some, not often."

I was lying as much to myself as I was to him. My dick was hard and all I could think about was what it would be like to touch his dick. But I refused to admit that I was having queer thoughts.

A minute later he asked, "You wanna?" and started opening his pants.

The next thing I know he is laying there with his pants pushed down and his cock pointing at the clouds.

"I can't, its wrong," I mumbled and got to my feet.

I walked off in the general direction of the house even though I wasn't sure where I was planning to go. In a few minutes I heard panting behind me and turned to see that Roger was running up to me.

"Billy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, oh shit we can't go back to the house yet. Pop will be pissed if we knock off this early."

I stopped and just stared at him. He had bits of grass in his hair and I imagined in his underwear from hastily pulling his pants back up. As looked at him all I could see in my mind was his hard, fat cock standing up amid a tangle of light brown curls. The real answer to the question he was a resounding yes, I wanted to touch him and be touched. There were more things I wanted too. Things I could not even detail to myself.

"You don't have any reason to be sorry, Rog. I am the one that is fucked up!" I declared demonstratively.

"You aren't fucked up; I'm the one tried to get you to do queer shit with me," He insisted.

"At least you were honest. I tried to make you think that I didn't want to do it, which made it seem like you were the odd one. God, Roger it is bad enough that I want to do queer stuff, but you are my family."

"Billy, I wasn't thinking we would become lovers. It isn't like if you and Mary were to fuck. We would just be fooling around. If you and I can't trust each other with a thing like this, who would we ever be able to try stuff with?" He asked with sincerity in an innocent tone.

His intimation that my fucking Mary would be a great sin was like a punch to the gut. My heart began to pound, my voice caught in my dry throat, I could feel sweat beading on my forehead and I thought I might vomit. I wanted to fall to my knees and die. Instead, I just stood there, with my fists balled, shaking and likely turning red. He must have taken my embarrassed anguish for anger.

"Billy, please, I am really sorry. I will never say any queer shit to you again. It was stupid. I guess I am just so horny for someone else to touch me that these things come into my head."

"Stop apologizing, Roger!" I demanded. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then what is wrong, why do you look like you want to kill?"

"Oh god, I am not mad. Roger I did an awful thing, I think and..shit. The other day, Mary and I, we, damn. She took me to see a pond beavers made..and oh fuck,"

"Billy, its ok."

"No it isn't. You're going to want to kill me, I had sex with your sister!" I finally blurted out.

To my surprise instead of fists in my face I had his arms around me. For the third time I was sobbing uncontrollably on his shoulder. Like the previous time he was caressing my back as he let me release my emotions.

"Look, Billy," He began softly almost like he was whispering in my ear. "I have known for a few years that Mary had sexual desires toward you. I also know that she is not a virgin. I figured since she was in love with Steve and planning to get married that she wouldn't act on those desires. I should'a warned you."

"No, it is my fault!" I insisted. "I saw the way she was acting. I sort of knew what was on her mind when she asked me to go off alone with her. I thought I could resist and I tried. God I still can't believe I let her talk me into doing that."

"You can't beat yourself for not being able to resist her."

"Maybe not, but if I do stuff with you now, that would be on me totally. It isn't like you are a hot naked chick insisting on sucking my cock."

"No, but if you want that, I am willing to try."

I stared at him dumbfounded. He had just put into words my deepest desire. I knew what it was like to have my cock sucked and I doubted anyone could do it any better than Mary. What I wanted deep down was to suck a cock. Suddenly, he was no longer my cousin hugging me to comfort my sorrow. He was a sexy young man that I wanted more than I had ever wanted anything before. All the years of thinking involving others in sex was too much bother when masturbation provided sexual pleasure seemed stupid. A light had come on and I saw clearly why people needed lovers. I also didn't care that I was about to do something that might confirm that I was queer. What had always filled me with dread almost instantly became a source of excitement. The possibility of truly knowing who I was washed away my doubts, at least for the moment.

Not knowing what to say or any other way to start a sexual encounter, I pressed my lips to his. He didn't resist nor did he part his lips to invite tongue play. My first male on male kiss was a closed mouth, somewhat chaste experience that nonetheless filled me with excitement and desire. I unbutton the strap that held up the bib of his overalls and then opened his shirt to expose his muscular chest. He was nearly hairless except for a wispy trail between his pecs. As I ran my hands over his smooth chest and toyed with his nipples he relieved me of my shirt and began to fumble with my belt. He turned his head when I tried to kiss him again, so I moved my mouth to his chest. He sighed happily as I sucked on his nearly flat male tit. Before long he had my pants pushed down and was fondling my hard cock through my underwear. I undid the buttons at his waits and his overalls feel to his knees.

His cock popped out of his fly. For the first time I held another man's shaft in my hand. I loved the way his warm silky flesh felt stretched over the steely hardness of his pole. I stopped sucking his chest and looked down between our bodies as I began to explore his spongy feeling cock head.

"Let's get naked and lay down," He panted.

We parted and quickly shed the rest of our clothes. We lay side by side in the tall grass facing each other and using our hands to explore what was new territory for both of us. He and I spent a long time exploring the entirety of each other's bodies before beginning to work on our cocks with gusto. We came within seconds of each other and then lay there, staring into each other's eyes, panting, while still holding each other's deflating cocks. He initiated our second kiss which while less chaste, still did not include tongue play.

"Wow," He exhaled after pulling back.

"Uh huh," was the only reply that came to mind.

Then I pushed him onto his back and knelt down near his cock. He spread his legs as I began to touch him as if I was doing an examination. I fondled his loose balls and moved his semi-flaccid cock around so I could see it from all angles. Though similar to mine, there were distinct differences that were not readily apparent with casual observation. I thought back to being in a locker room and remember that while some cocks stood out as different most looked very much the same. I wondered if I had the opportunity to examine those guys as I was Roger's cock if I would find them all unique. Those thoughts disappeared as his cock began to once again grow and soft moans slipped form his lips.

I moved my face closer to his body thinking to indulge my desire to try oral. My nostrils were filled with a strong male scent. An afternoon of hard physical outdoor work had left us both in need of a shower. I lingered for a minute considering ignoring the only slightly unpleasant odor to fulfill my desire. But came to the conclusion that I did not want my first attempt at cock sucking to be tainted. I hoped that there would be other chances. I moved back and stroked him for a while before he insisted that it was his turn to get a better look at me. I rolled onto my back and spread my legs to allow him access to my already hard cock. He then examined me much as I had him. When he moved his face closer he didn't stop. He slipped his tongue out and licked the underside of my cock. It was so quick and unexpected that it was over before I realized what he was doing.

"Damn, you have a salty dick!" He teased. "But I said I would so here goes."

"Wait, Roger. I want to suck yours too, but I think we should try it after we shower."

"Ok, you want me to jerk you off again? We have to be quick if you do, it is almost supper time."

"Nah lets get dressed and save it for tonight."

We were soon back at the house and acting as if everything was normal. After Roger and I got cleaned up we joined the family in the kitchen. Funny thing was that the whole time I was naked and playing with Roger I was happy and had no doubts. Back at the house playing family, I began to feel guilty and dirty. I was sure my aunt and uncle would think we were disgusting little queers if they knew what we did out there and Mary occasionally giving me looks like she was in heat only added to my quilt. I imagined her hating the idea of fucking a guy who had played with her brother's cock. As we ate I began to worry about the plan I had made with Roger. I didn't see any signs of guilt in my cousin's actions so I assumed he was planning on us sucking each other's cocks that night. I began to wonder if it was really his musky scent or just that I didn't really want to suck a cock.

The only problem with that theory was the fact that just thinking about the subject gave me a ragging hard on. I had such a huge bulge in my pants that I didn't know how I was going to leave the table without it being noticed. When my aunt asked for a volunteer to run the slop bucket out to the hog pen, I am sure I shocked everyone with how fast I jumped up and snatched the bucket. Unfortunately, Mary insisted on going along to show me how to do it right.

"Are you mad at me, Billy?" She asked in that flirty way that girls have of saying something that makes you want to jump on them on the spot.

Added to my already horny condition, her flirting was nearly unbearable.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because you hardly looked at me since you and Roger got in from the field. It is bad enough you been avoiding me, but I didn't think I degusted you so much that you can't stand to look at me."

"Mary, you don't disgust me," I protested as I dumped the bucket over the fence into the hog trough.

"Then what is it? I know you liked what we did. You thinking you want to do it again?"

"No, I told you we shouldn't have done it at all."

Unfortunately, I had forgotten about my condition when I dumped the bucket. Since I was still half erect, the full moon was enough to let her see the bulge in my pants.

"Billy, at least don't lie to me. I can see how horny you are with my own eyes. We can go behind the barn real quick if you want."

"Mary, I told you we can't do that stuff, we're related!"

"Well I know you think intercourse is wrong, but me sucking you wouldn't be bad. I know you liked that," She insisted as she grabbed my cock through my pants.

I wasn't sure if it was my level of horniness or a deep-seated desire to prove I wasn't queer, but I was ready to give in and except sex from her a second time. Thankfully, Roger came to my rescue.

"Never known two people to take so long to feed a pig!" He called out loudly as he came around the corner of the hog pen.

I think Mary managed to get her hand off my dick before he saw anything.

"Mom is looking perturbed that you aren't in there helping with the pies she is fixing to bake," He said to Mary and she ran off toward the house.

"Did I interrupt anything," He said with a wicked grin, glancing down at my crotch.

"Nah, not really." I lied.

"I figured she was gonna make a move on you. After the way you seemed to feel about it, I guessed you would want me to save you. Mom's gonna be confused when Mary shows up to help bake."