All Comments on 'A Valentine's Day Proposal'

A great story. It had me on edge. The sexual scences were too little and too far apart. Only one real negatiive comment though, the spelling of music as muzak? Error or intentional? Overall a good piece of work. Strange twists kept it going. I would never look at rich families and their power brokering quite the same again.

Very good! Suspense, sex, intrigue, murder, and more great sex...we got it all!

An absolutely wonderful read. It is a great story even though the sex was a little thin. The plot more than made up for that.

An absolutely intense action packed story. Really good.

<br>

Muddy, cluttered, erratic spelling and grammar.

<br><br>

There's several places where, in trying to vastly over-explain what's happening, the story only succeeds in bogging itself down.

<br><br>

The first sex scene is completely beyond any sort of belief, but more to the point, the writing of that section appears to have been contracted out to a 14 year old!

<br><br>

Perhaps take the story down, then try re-working it, in association with one of the volunteer Lit editors...? Re-post it when it's all slick and shiny, because there's definite merit in it.

<br>

If your not going to make the story about the sex, try filling out the characters a little more. Why was Jack in Rob's debt?

For one of the previous comments: music=what you would normally listen to, muzak=what you hear in most elevators

Normaly love your stories, but i aint too sure about this one. There is too much trauma in it to make the sexual senses believeable. Good story non the less, but i think it would have done better as a non-erotic.

I have loved your other stories,but not this 1 sorry

I loved it! I can definately see it as a movie, given more to the story of course. Awesome Job!

I thought it was a pretty good story. I don't see much suspense in stories here.

I loved it!! I hope you win. Don't let some of the numbskulls tell ya any different!. It kept me glued to the screen. AWESOME!!!

I got to the end and went...no..I want more!!!! Beautiful job, good luck in the contest.

In your own words (p.1): "Go get a dictionary". Start with "site", move on to "descent", and finish with servings of "too" and "throws". Among a number of others.

And, by the way, go back to page 1 and tell me how many sisters there are, total. The opening page was exceedingly confusing. And the balance of the story made sense most of the time, but parts were equally unclear.

I think there's a good story line hidden in there, but it's unfortunately difficult to follow, at some points.

-- KK in Texas

I think it was really well written story. Notonly was it erotic, it was thrilling, and suspenceful. It has everything, and ignore the comments regarding spelling. It's not about the spelling, they're just jelouse of your amazing story! Hope you win!!

I usually love your stories but this one I didn't like. It was choppy, confusing, and the story line was weak. It was hard to keep track of all the characters and there really wasn't any character development. Although I didn't enjoy this one very much, I still appreciate your stories and will continue to look for your submissions.

Excellent storie> Most are wham bam thank you mam. This one actually has a story behind it and not just sex.

This story was sooo good that I forgot about the ice cream I was eating and it melted, along with me! Wonderful plot, really hope you win!!!

After reading 3 pages I am almost too sleepy to read another story; this is literotica. That means there should be some erotic adventures. After the three pages there was only a slight mention of someone being aroused and then you jumped back to the novel of the story. The characters were not well developed. This story might be good on a site that is rated PG. I have never left a message like this so if it gets 4 stars its for being the worst and 4 stars would mean the opposite of the current rating system. If this story were made in to a movie it would be listed as an F movie. The F might mean fucked up or forever boring. Soap Digest wouldn’t mention this story and if it wins any contest on here it will be a testament to this site loosing its creditability with me! Will someone please delete this story?

wow....i like you writing but this was amazing!!! All the erotic stories tend to be the same but this was refreshing...thanks

want more!!!!!!!!!

This may be the best Valentine's Day submission I have ever encountered on this or any other site! You really have a talent for telling this type of tale. I loved it and will look for more of your stories.

So when are you going to publish your stuff? You've got more talent than pretty much anyone in this forum. Obviously, you might have to clean up a little bit of the really racy stuff, but I'd buy your book in a heart beat.

-Jack.

Very different tale and very well done. Enough twists in it to keep anyone jumping. Thank you for this one.

Valentine's Day. I could see Quentin Tarantino directing the movie version. ;) Well done, secret, and Happy Valentine's Day

Nice twists in the story, Valerie was very believeable in her turns. Would have loved more insiders toward the feelings of Steph in the middle part of the story, but at the end it was very nice. The lost ring was a good motive, picked up at the end again it rounded the story. Good work!

Bit of a twisted version of the Oedipus complex going on but I like it! Lots of unexpected twists and secrets. Great job!

The only reason I'm giving it a 4 instead of a 5 is that I would have like more sex. But, damn, you can write!

I think it's a great story that contains everything a story needs to have :) A great romance :)

I read through it fast since I'm so used to your longer stories but I really enjoyed this one. There were a lot of twists and turns that I really didn't expect. Good read.

Good story but why under the "Incest/Taboo" category? I understand it happening in the story but the actual act wasn't described nor was the main love interests related. I have a fancy to good incest stories and this is no incest. Don't get me wrong about the sex, it was hot. I just think this should be put in a different category. It might get a higher rating. I know I would give it a higher one. ^_^ abby

actually for peoples information the father-daughter version of the oedipal complex is called the electra complex. i studied it in psychology. i loved the story. the thought of a well built sexy man in that little girly cupid costume was surprisingly hot. secretme's other stuff is better but this was a fun quick read.

Too much "tell me" and not enough "show me". The story was rushed and needed a lot more clarification. The scene and point of view jumps were troubling as well.

It had a lot of potential though and I've liked a lot of your other stuff. This could be really good to with some time spent rewriting it and expanding it to fill in the missing holes.

fantastic. Really, really good. Reminds me of the Korean film Oldboy, a little.

It is good, but damn, I feel pain misery and sadness.

Now i need to find somthing to lighten my mood somewhat.

Keep it up, I love when a wrighter makes me feel.

It is good, but damn, I feel pain misery and sadness.

Now i need to find somthing to lighten my mood somewhat.

Keep it up, I love when a wrighter makes me feel.

This story has everything I love, fear, anger, hatred, sadness and love, excellent .

WOW! I enjoyed this story so very much!!! Thank you for writing and sharing!

XOXO Nicky

everyone is about to die and Jackie and stephie are FUCKING! This is the stupidest story I have TRIED to read on literotica! 1* just to vote

Your writing is better than most on this site and you actually had a story line for this story. Keep up the good work.

for a good story... romance would be more like it

the spelling and grammar were atrocious, and plot muddled...I believe the editors are free-get one-!

Need to look at your other stories, as one comment said the rest of your stories are quite good.

completely wrong category.

erotic horror maybe? the incest part was a side note to it all not intentional and tricked. not the main part of the story.

story-"idea" is good but a little less than mediocre executed.

a warning/disclaimer to some Hardcore stuff like rape, suicide and murder would've been good too, it was highly disturbing to read really.

can't give that a good rating, although the idea was good, again a disclaimer would've helped.

[06.02.23]

Excellent story!

11/10!!!!!