A Very Long Engagement

My kid sister saw me watching her then and raised her arms to me, like a child begging for comfort. No-- like she was offering me comfort. I was so conflicted; she could see it on my face. "It was so good, Matty. S-- so good." She shuddered again, and a content smile spread across her face. "Soooo good." Then she looked at me again and frowned. "Matty, you're-- you still need-- "

I was as hard as I'd ever been and leaking precum like a sieve. "You-- you don't-- I can take care of it myself, Sam. We-- we shouldn't have-- "

She lunged up from the bed, shifting from her laconic post-orgasmic state to an urgent, insistent lust. She kissed me, really kissed me for the first time, the way a man and a woman kiss, not a brother and sister. Her tongue was on my lips, tasting herself on me, and I felt more than heard her moan. There was a sudden gentle pressure on my dick as she encircled it with her hand and began to stroke. I leaned back from the kiss and she growled, "Yes. We. Should." Her hand came away from me and she pulled her shirt off, then tossed it aside and proudly displayed her body to me.

Again, I couldn't resist. She was so beautiful. I knew I should stop, but I couldn't. I was compelled to touch her, to taste her. She giggled as I took her in my arms and began to kiss and nibble at her breasts. The giggles turned to a loud gasp and a sharp hiss of breath as I took one of her perfect nipples in my mouth and sucked, then nipped at it. I don't know exactly what happened next; my aikidoka baby sister shifted her weight subtly, used a little leverage, and suddenly I was laying on top of her, her legs almost wrapped around me. "Sam--!" She silenced me with a kiss.

As I tried to break the kiss and speak, she silenced me again, then a third time. "I want this, Matt. Need it." She reached down between us and tugged at my hardness. "So do you. Please, Matty. You were right. I need a-- a good guy." Another kiss on my lips as I started to speak. "I need you, need someone-- someone to make my first time perfect."

"Sammy, I can't take--!"

Another kiss, gentle but insistent. "You're not taking it. I'm giving it. I'm begging you to accept it, Matty. Please. Please! I know you'll love me right, you won't-- it's going to hurt, I know, but you'll make it feel good, too. I trust you, love you more than any man in the world. Please, Matty. Be my first?"

There was not even a thought of resistance this time. Her slender hand tugged at me, putting the head of my cock at her virgin entrance. A small look of hope appeared on her face, her mouth opened slightly to ask once more, but I had already begun to push. I was as gentle as I could be, but she still gasped and whined, "Matty!"

I kissed her again, initiating for the first time since this had begun. I was gentle as she had asked, pushing slowly and letting her adjust to my girth as I went. Her head tilted away and she panted, the pain coming and going as I entered her achingly slowly. "Do you need me to stop, Sammy?"

She shook her head violently. "No, bro--" It was wrong, but I felt my cock twitch when she called me that. It felt so taboo, so profane, so... right. Right in all the wrong ways. She gasped as she felt it. "Bro! Did-- ah!" Her new mask was a wicked grin punctuated occasionally by a pained grimace. Sam's voice changed: a little higher, a little singsong. A parody of a little girl by a woman who thinks she's all grown up. "Like-- oh!-- like that? Big bro-- Ah! -- likes -- mmm -- fucking little sis?"

She knew what she was doing. I couldn't control myself, moving faster to fully enter her. Her eyes were like sapphire flame when she said, "Then give me all of it, Matty. Fill your baby sister's virgin cAAAH!" The last inch or so was not gentle; maybe I'd regret that later. Maybe she would, too. Not right now, though. Her nails bit into my biceps as she threw her head backwards, grinding it into the bed, muscles in her neck straining against the surface below her. But then she relaxed and looked up at me, and her loving, wondering expression told me that I'd given her exactly what she wanted. She gasped, "F-fuck Matty, fuck! S-- so good! So full!"

My head dipped down and I kissed her gently, silently thanking my sister, my lover, for the honor she'd granted me. She kissed me back, a loving, slow, openmouthed kiss. There was no hurry, not yet; I wanted to let her enjoy this experience. She wanted it to be perfect, and I would do everything I could to make it that way.

Her pussy squeezed me, and my kid sister groaned loudly into my mouth. I broke our kiss and gazed down into those deep blue eyes, oceans that could send a sailor happily to his doom. "Are you ready, Sam?" She nodded wordlessly. As I withdrew, she let out a sharp hiss through barely opened lips, which quickly changed to a soft, plaintive whine. I wanted to fulfill her need, to fill her completely again, but I was patient and took my time, afraid of hurting her.

Her hips chased me, trying to keep me inside. "F-- faster, Matty. I-- I can-- oh oh god-- please!" My resolve had already been straining, and this put it near the breaking point. I didn't fuck my sister, not in the rough way that I might have wanted to as she urged me on. But my lovemaking became less gentle, more rapid than perhaps it should have been. She winced in pain once, and I tried to slow, but then she grunted, "Fuck me, big bro! Fuck-- AH!" She got her wish.

Sammy was so tight that when her climax started to come, it was like being gripped by a silken fist. She moaned loudly, finally begging, "In-- in me! S-- Safe, pill!" I only had to hold a little longer, just a little-- and then I felt her contract around me, felt her whole body go rigid as she fell silent. Sam held there for a moment, paralyzed, then exploded into motion, shuddering violently as she cried my name. I buried myself to the hilt in her as ropes of semen painted my sister's cervix. My body pinned hers to the mattress, and my mouth muffled her moans.

Afterwards, we lay there for a while, kissing softly between panting breaths. There were tears in her eyes, and she whispered. "P-- perfect. So..." She buried her face in my neck and gave a little soft sob, then pulled back to look at me. "It was... thank you, Matty. I love you."

She was so beautiful; not innocent, not anymore. Not after what I'd done. But pure. Good. I loved her, and... oh, god. What had I done? I rolled off and pulled her to me, trying to hide my guilt and shame. This was supposed to be perfect for her. I'd keep it that way for a little longer. "I love you, too, Sammy." She snuggled into me, warm and soft, kissing my neck once more before settling in. I heard her tiny little snores, but it was a long time before I slept.

My dreams that night were dark and nightmarish. I was a minotaur, chasing a hooded figure through a labyrinth. I needed her in a way I couldn't understand, a way I knew was unnatural. She turned a corner, and I knew the hunt was over; it was a dead end. The figure turned to face me, fear in her eyes. My Sammy. The hood fell away, and I looked on in horror as the fear turned to lust, her gaze locked onto my hardening bull cock. As she reached out to touch it, I awoke with a start.

Sammy, the real one, muttered something in her sleep, then settled again. The labyrinth had been a dream, but this was a true nightmare. It had happened. I had taken my baby sister's virginity. I was a monster.

I disentangled myself from Sam as gently as I could, gazing down with sadness at her nude, beautiful body. She was smiling in her sleep; I'd let her have her happy dreams a little longer. A renewed sense of shame swept over me as I felt myself stiffen.

I stood under the water, hands flat against the wall of the shower, letting the cold water sluice down my body. I'd long since cleaned my body; there had been, thankfully, no blood, as I don't think I could have dealt with that. Sam's long hours training in aikido, with all of the attendant falls and throws, must have broken her hymen long ago. Small favors, I suppose.

But while my body was clean, I didn't think my soul could ever be. I had to stop wallowing in the shower, trying to do penance under the freezing water. The only place I could go for forgiveness was to my sister, the one that I'd sworn to protect when we were children, not knowing she needed to be protected from me.

My sweatpants and t-shirt were comforting in their familiarity, a bit of normalcy on a grotesquely surreal morning. I opened the bathroom door, but Sammy wasn't in bed any longer. The bedroom door was open; I could smell bacon and hear happy, tuneless singing coming through it.

Sam was in a fresh t-shirt and underwear, dancing as she cooked, making little happy noises and switching randomly between songs. I watched her for a while; I just wanted to remember this moment. She seemed so happy. Did she not remember the night before? No, that couldn't be it. Did she-- "Matty!" She saw me and smiled. "Come and sit down, big bro." A wink and a laugh. "Really, really big bro!" But then she saw my trepidation. My little sister slowly approached me, concern etched on her face. "Matty?"

I couldn't look at her. "Sam, I-- god, sis-- " I felt tears start to fall. "I'm sorry, Sammy, I'm so-- "

She grabbed me in a bearhug, or at least as close to one as she could get, given our size disparity. "What? No! No, no, no! Matty, please! I-- don't be sad! I'm so happy!" I felt her squeeze me for all she was worth, trying to hold me together as I started to fall apart. She guided me toward the futon and sat beside me. "Matty, what's wrong? Was-- did I do something wrong?"

"What? No! I-- god, Sammy, I--" I couldn't look at her, couldn't breathe. "I-- how are you happy? I fucking molested you last night! I'm-- fuck, I'm a monster, Sam!"

She kissed me. I started to push her away, but she held on tight. Her eyes were fierce when she broke from the kiss. "No! No, you fucking didn't. I wanted that, I wanted all of it. You don't--" She was so angry she started to spit. "You don't get to-- I'm a grown fucking woman, Matt. If-- if you didn't like what we did, if, if, if I'm, I wasn't what you wanted, fine, but-- "

"What? No! You were-- god, Sammy, if you weren't my sister-- "

She kissed me again, fiercely asserting ownership. "I am your fucking sister. And I'm your sister that loved fucking you, got it?"

"Sam, we can't-- "

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, god, spare me, Matt. We can. We did. If I have my way, we're going to finish up breakfast, then we're going back to bed and I'm going to show you how grateful-- " She kissed me again and sighed sadly. "How grateful I was-- am for last night. It was... it was everything I'd hoped it would be. You were everything I hoped you'd be."

"... What?"

Her shoulders slumped. "Did-- is this not what you wanted, too? Why-- why did you touch me like that last night if you didn't--" there were tears in her eyes now.

"I-- I thought you were-- were Traci." She was crushed, but I continued on. "I-- I drank a little bit, it was dark, I forgot-- forgot the last couple of weeks. There was a woman in my bed, and I smelled Traci's perfume and-- "

Her hand went over her mouth. "Oh no. No no no no."

"And then, when I realized it was you and turned the lights on, you were-- you were so beautiful. And I wanted you so badly, I couldn't-- wouldn't stop. I'm sorry, Sam, I was supposed to watch out for you and-- " I felt sick. "And I didn't. I took advantage of you."

She froze for a moment. Then she started to laugh. It was a little chuckle, but it escalated quickly to a big belly laugh, then an even bigger one as she saw the look of horror on my face. She wiped a tear away as she said, "Oh, Matty. Oh, bro. You-- god, I love you so much. And I'm sorry, this-- I didn't mean for-- " She kissed me gently. "You didn't take advantage of me, Matt. I took advantage of you."

"What?! No, no, I-- " She kissed me again.

"I did, Matty. I wanted everything that happened last night. I... I've wanted it for a long time. I planned for..." She sighed. "I'm hungry. Can we eat? You can listen to what a dumb, insensitive, manipulative cunt your sister is over breakfast, and then you can decide if you want to kick me out afterwards."

She stood and took my hand. I could only follow along dumbly as she led me to the table and served eggs, bacon, toast, and coffee. I started to mechanically shovel food into my mouth as she spoke.

"I love you, Matt. I always have. I-- I know you think the fiancé thing is a joke, and it-- it is, but it's also sort of not a joke. If-- god, you're such an amazing guy, Matty. You were always-- you've always been just old enough to seem both almost attainable and out of my league. You never looked at the other girls my age, but we looked at you. All of us did, all of my friends. If you weren't my brother, and I saw you at a bar here on campus, knowing what I know about how sweet and smart and kind you are? I'd throw myself at you. I think a lot of girls would if you weren't so shy. You've got a real Clark Kent thing going on.

"But I-- I'm not dumb. I knew that you couldn't-- that we couldn't actually be together. So I was happy to see that you were meeting other girls; I wanted you to be happy. But your taste in women, well... " She shrugged and took a sip of coffee. "And at the same time, I could never find a guy that measured up. They might have been out there, but like I said, part of why I would have thrown myself at you is because I already know how good of a guy you are. I just never wanted to go around kissing frogs, you know?

"So I-- " She chuckled ruefully. "God, so dumb-- So I treated it like a thought experiment for a while. You know how some people will try to figure out 'What would I do if I won the lottery?' or 'How would I survive a zombie apocalypse?' Well mine was 'How can I seduce and marry my brother?' And it would have stayed just a thought experiment, but..." She looked away, a brief flicker of shame on her face.

When I finished the mouthful of eggs I was chewing, she hadn't yet continued. "Buuut?"

"But like three or four things happened at once. I... I went to homecoming with a guy, a nice guy. Not a bad kisser. But-- but he wasn't you. Wasn't anywhere near you. I figured I'd just have to wait until I got to college and then try to find someone a little more mature. Not a big deal by itself.

"And then you came home for Thanksgiving. Brought Traci to meet the family. I couldn't stand her; I tried to hide it, but I think you could tell." I nodded. She was not at all subtle about it. "I don't know if I somehow knew that she was bad news then, but I do know that-- that I was jealous. Jealous that she was with you. I tried really hard not to think about that, just convinced myself it was a mix of my little thought experiment and wanting someone as good as you for myself."

She looked to one side. "But, uh, I also-- " Sam's expression was the same one she had when I caught her sneaking a smoke behind the middle school in eighth grade. "Promise you won't be mad?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. "Just tell me what you did."

"Sooo, I was trying to figure out what to get you for Christmas, and I kind of looked at your laptop." Oh shit. "I went into your browser, trying to find something and typed in 'A-M-A-Z,' when what did I find?" Her expression had changed to the one she had when she caught me sneaking one of dad's beers. "Why, I believe it was 'Petite blonde stepsister with AMAZing tits gets railed by stepbro.' And a lot more like that, too. There was definitely a theme there: a petite blonde stepsister with long hair and a muscular stepbrother with dark hair in pretty much every video." It was my turn to look away now.

I felt her hand on my chin, pulling my gaze back to hers. She spoke softly. "Hey, Matt. I'm not trying to make you feel embarrassed. I wasn't trying to snoop, I promise. And..." She bit her lip. "I, ah, I had a bunch of the same URLs saved off to an innocuous little text file. But just a tip? Incognito mode, bro. You should know better."

"I know, I know. But I finally have my own place, and I didn't think about other people 'borrowing' my laptop."

Her breathing was just a little shallower now. "When I found out that-- that we both had the same, ah, interests? God, Matty. I-- I had tried to only think of my thought experiment as just that, but I couldn't keep you out of my head when I was having some alone time." She licked her lips. "Are you... are you gonna try and tell me I didn't show up in a few of your masturbation fantasies? We-- it was just a bit of harmless fun, right?"

I reluctantly nodded. "Yeah. I-- Last night, it was like a dream come true. I had hoped that was all it was when I woke up, but-- "

Her tone was sharp. "I didn't. It was the single best night of my life. The only thing I regret was that I hurt you because-- " She shook her head. "I'll get to that. So that was the stage set. I was jealous, I was horny, I knew you had the same set of fantasies, and I hated your girlfriend. When I heard that you broke up, I made my excuses to Mom and Dad. I came here with one purpose in mind, and it wasn't touring the campus.

"But I didn't-- I didn't account for... Matty, I didn't mean for us to end up there last night. I had planned to-- God, I'm going to sound like such a bitch." After a deep breath, she continued. "I was going to try to seduce you slowly. I was already one hundred percent on board; I mean, after last night, that should be clear. But I wanted to ease you into it. If you were a hard 'no,' I wanted us to both have a chance to not-- well, to avoid any kind of hard feelings."

There were tears in her eyes now. "But I fucked that up. I fucked up so bad, Matty, and I'm sorry. I was-- I hadn't even planned to be in the bed with you last night, but you passed out, and I-- you were so handsome. So cute looking, all sleepy like that. So I crawled in with you and pulled you over to spoon with me. I didn't--"

She snorted. "Traci was a stupid bitch, but she did have good taste in perfume. I didn't even think about that. And then you were touching me, and I didn't know that you thought I was her, and we were full steam ahead. And I-- and I--"

Sammy started to cry. "Please, Matty. I love you so much. Please tell me I didn't lose my big bro. I can-- if we can't be more, if-- last night was perfect, everything I've ever wanted. But I-- I can't, it's not worth losing you over. Please, please, Matty, tell me I didn't--" My little sister started to sob.

I pulled her in close. "No, sis, no. You-- I love you. I feel-- feel so close to you now. I-- maybe it was wrong, but knowing you wanted it, knowing-- fuck, Sammy. I fucking loved it. All of it. I've never..." I chuckled. "I know you don't have a basis for comparison, but it was the best sex I've ever had. I've never felt more loved, more connected to someone."

She sniffled. "Really?"

I tilted her face towards mine. "Really." Her beautiful blue eyes searched mine, and she leaned up. We kissed, the same type of soft, passionate kiss we'd shared the night before, and I knew there was no way we could let this go. It might be wrong, but we'd figure out a way to make it work.

We broke the kiss and she stroked my cheek. "God, Matty, is this really happening?" I kissed her again in answer, just a little quick kiss. She sighed happily. "I'm-- Matt, I want to--" She laughed. "Are we going to leave your apartment at all for the rest of my trip?"

"I mean, I don't have much in the fridge, so we at least need to go to the store. Speaking of, I think our food's getting cold." I stood up and pulled her with me. "Let's finish breakfast. Then we can figure out... hell, we've got a lot of things to figure out. But let's start there."

Our mood was lifted significantly. We joked and laughed together as we ate, teasing each other. It was familiar, but subtly different. Intimate, instead of just close. We planned out our day; as much as I wanted to keep her there and keep exploring the changes to our relationship, I did actually need to take her around to see the campus. Mom and Dad would have questions for her.