All Comments on 'A Work-Related Injury'

About a guy who just wouldn't talk to his wife.

Somebody's got some serious issues.

I wholeheartedly disagree with the previous comment. she cheated, more than once and willingly, and you expect them to discuss it? wow, i'd love to hear your rationale on that one. i think she may have gotten way to easy, given the circumstances..

She was at a company sponsored event, and the company failed to maintain a moral code of ethics in the work place.That could get him a good settlement from her employer.

it's not right to disolve a marriage in anger. The children will be greatly affected and will see the two persons they love hate each other. He did hurt his family badly and his children will later remind him about it. In my view no hero at all. I will go as far as describe his actions as pathetic.

She deserved what she got. It was not a one time drunken encounter. She got pregnant with another man's child. He did what was necessary. Thanks!

A wife considers the consequences to her marriage and chooses to go through with her betrayal anyway, and some responders think this is the husband's fault? Ridiculous. He should have communicated better with his wife? Where was her communication before she chose to cheat? He shouldn't have let his anger ruin their marriage for the sake of the kids? Where was the wife's consideration for the kids before she chose to cheat? Since the wife's parents seem to understand and accept what is happening, the author has made it clear that all those involved understand exactly what happened and accept the consequences.

Considering he essentially kidnapped their children, kicked her out of the house and deprived her af matrimonial assets, Jim would be lucky to not end up in prison never mind losing his shorts in the divorce proceedings. Further more, no doctor's office would give any information out over the phone to a complete stranger. It is against the law. This story coulda been a contender, instead, it was more shit.

Seriously, your writing is nearly unreadable, due to the constant point of view shifts. Please, please, please, get an editor!

I've left comments before, and he thinks Hip and Knee is good enough. (WRONG!)<p>As has been stated before, virtually unreadable.

To the people WHO DID NOT LIKE THE STORY--GO HUMP YOURSELF--she cheated--got knocked up. Well the reason is there--dump the cheating slut bitch. Get your pound of meat fom her and destroy her lover. SUE the company she worked for for all he can get. Don`t let his girls be like their skank mother.He did get the cheaters saying from her--I love you, I am sorry, I don`t know how this happen. WELL--you did.

she got exactly what she deserved

To the author.

I liked the storyline, but not the execution. Please, please, please, do NOT jump from first to third person and back again, it confuses, and please learn where, to put, commas! (intentional misplacement.)

To those who leave comments.

First - It's a story for God's sake, don't get so wound up.

Second - The adultery took place between two consenting adults AFTER work and OUT of the workplace. In real life what grounds would that give for sueing the company? The company's only stated involvement was to employ them both and to take them both to the same seminars. Isn't that like sueing the taxi driver who drove someone to the twin towers on the day of the attack?

For fucks sake get real.

How can people say he kidnaped his kids or acted badly. She was cheating every chance she had, got pregnant by another man and felt no remorse until she got caught. Her parents just came and got her, they knew she had broken the marriage, serously, could any real life husband or wife work through this, hell no! She let him keep the kid's cause of her shame, not the law, she still doesn't know why she did this so until she gets some help she would not be a good primary care giver, pluss she will have a new born without a father to take care of, she will be busy. When she said "I did love you" not I do love you she said it all. Thanks for the story, I think you write great stuff.

To the readers who think the husband is at fault. Who cheated? Who got pregnant? Who at the end of the story said, "I DID love you" Did she care about the kids when she was shagging her work buddy? Did she care about the kids when she claimed she had never cum three times in one night? Sorry I have no sympathy for the wife or soon to be ex-wife in more ways than one she has made her bed and should lay in it. As for the husband not being a hero? I personally don't know what I would do if faced with such a problem but I would certainly do something simiilar to the husband. Could the Wife ever be forgiven? IF and only IF she had a one time shag with lover boy and then confessed that night, perhaps, and IF and only IF she wasn't pregant by the lover boy then again perhaps.

But these are very BIG IFS. As for the writing and the story itself yes okay the writer needs an editor and yes this type of story has been written before but still it was a good read. keep them coming Slirpuff. Just do everyone a favour and at least ask someone anyone to read through the story.

I liked this story, it has a nice flow, good plot, and is basically well written. Those of you screaming about the husband or the wife, FOR GOD'S SAKE IT'S A STORY. The characters behaved the way they did because that was the author's choice. There were two comments made that I find humorous at best and idiotic at the worst. Both made anonymously of course. One from someone in Tampa and the next one listed both said that this story and others by Slirpuff are virtually unreadable....Then don't read this author's stories if it bothers you so much. To those who critiqued the story, giving names. Good for you.

Enough about the hate Nazis. I like your stories Slirpuff, yes there are some technical aspects that can be improved, but to me anyway your stories are entertaining. Please keep writing. Do it to piss off the hate Nazis if for no other reason.

I have read your other work and I have to say this is not up to par. The story was fine but your writing style is difficult to read, it does not flow right. You have an urgent need to state the facts but not tell the story. In other words it was like you we giving a police report. Take a second pass at your work and ask yourself is this how I would tell it to a friend?

the law might not care about infidelity but her family and his family does, also her kids will she threw her life with her family away and now will ruin another life her unborn child.Your endings are weird i agree there is no way he would want her back yet she must have thought he would because you indicated while she waited for him at the first of the story, yet you never allow them to talk or told why her parents didn't ask her why everybody just took his word, that doesn't happen in real life.

Was ok, not bad. It looks like lot of people said to Use an editor But the story was readable<p>I don't think the husband should be blamed. No man likes that his wife get pregnant by someone else -- <i>Men who likes to have that kind of a thing? they are exempted<i><p>He did what any husband will do under this circumstance<p /> P.S - <b>No issues with your writing<b />

<p>Hansbwl made my laugh. I literally had food shoot through my nose when I read the comment: "Don't dissolve a marriage in anger" from him. </p>

<p>I'm sorry but I have to ask "How many divorces based on adultery, or where the real cause regardless of what is listed is because of adultery, are you aware of that are resolved in happiness?" I have yet to meet the wrong spouse, who divorced their cheating mate, who still doesn't have some residual anger at their cheating. It's probably not as red hot as it was when they found out about the cheating, but its still there. That comment was kinda of funny to me. Almost as if he was saying that if you wait long enough you'll either forgive the cheater or you won't be as angry and the divorce will work out better.</p>

<p>That's a crock. You don't get over that if the reason for your hurt and pain is because someone cheated on you. If it hurts you enough to divorce, that level of hurt takes <b>YEARS</b> to get over. So the divorce should sit on the back burn for years till you get past your anger? And if you have sex with them once, you can no longer claim adultery as the reason, because once you do you are now condoning their behavior. Go figure. So you best do it before you slip up, and do something that will make it harder to divorce the other person legally. And that's why divorce attorneys make a killing. It's their job to deal with irate people who are wronged and keep them out of jail or from taking their revenge on the guilty mate.</p>

<p>The comments about the unfairness of the cheating and him putting her out. Guess what, she could have refused, but if I had to guess I would think she did it because she thought if she gave him time he's come around. Remember at the start of the story she was sitting at the kitchen table waiting to tell him of her affair. Her character thought she could talk him out of a divorce then. The character was already delusional. So its not hard to see her walk away thinking she still had a chance. Don't tell me you missed that, even from the opening</p>

<p>The law may not care about infidelity, but that doesn't stop them from enforcing a <i><b>signed</b></i> agreement. Otherwise "PRE-NUP's" and "POST-NUP's" would never be enforceable. And those are <i>CLEARLY</i> one sides. Yet they are. The won't allow certain things, but if someone signed away their rights, regardless of the reason, they will still enforce it. And she did it because of the suggested blackmail (telling family, friends, employer, etc) of what she was doing. I'm surprised some of you folks missed that</p>

<p>But my favorite so far was the suggestion that the husband did this so they could get back together. Huh? I have yet to see where that comment came from. The ending didn't remotely suggest that to me</p>

<p>So far this is the best one I've read by you today. The only thing I'd suggest is during the opening it started off well, but you moved into "Jim's story" at some point, but the reader didn't know when that happened, until you mentioned "Linda's story" and then "The End of a Marriage". That kinda of made me stumble on the fact that the beginning must have been "Jim's story"</p>

<p>But you stuck with one view and that made it easier to read and understand. Thanks (^_^)</p>

<p>Much better and I personally really liked it</p>

-Risq

I want to 2nd the comments by Risq_001. They are very thoughtful and well laid out. I try not to be an English Nazi Cop. That said, you should really work a bit on it. It would move your stories from 50% to 75-100% ratings. Your placement of commas appeared to be random.

I did appreciate the headers you did provide. When you are within a scene, try to give us poor readers some transition paragraphs. For example, in one paragraph Jim is speaking to his sister then the next he is witnessing the illegal intimidation of his wife's lover. My first thought was why was the lover-boy at their house? A simple sentence or two having Jim drive across town and park out of the way would help.

Lastly is a personal peeve. You wrote “Ken said looking at his awe struck daughter” . Awe is something you get contemplating God or Nature, not the effect of an unexpected event. You may have meant shell shock, Thanks again, I can tell you are trying to incorporate the positive criticism you have received. Ttom

<p>Maybe I'm getting cynical in my middle years, but I sense a chapter 2 in the works. If Linda is correct, and her husband had a vasectomy and her lover used a condom, then who is the father of the child? I would hope that the baby would be her husband's as it would make for a more interesting second chapter.</p>

<p>This story started creatively and then quickly fell apart. First of all, in what jurisdiction can the wronged husband forcibly evict his wife from their home? The wife could have simply refused to allow the movers into her house. I guess I'm to assume that the papers she was given were some form of extortion on the husband's part? When does all of this become legal? This whole first scene is one of fantasy.</p>

<p>The author of course told us that this was a no fault state, that the division of property was 50-50, etc., etc. This was all stated like a standard cliché that had to be included in the story. Personally I wish authors would stay away from the legalities of the divorce unless they understand them. </p>

<p>The husband in this story gets custody of his children because he dictates that outcome. In what jurisdiction does this happen? Sad to say, <b>but the wife's adultery per se does not force custody to the husband.</b> In this story that outcome is completely unrealistic. We needed more facts to make that outcome believable.</p>

<p>Any story requires some minimum level of research. I note another author saying this is 'just a story' as if major flaws in grammar and logic should always be overlooked. That attitude is insulting to both the readers and to other authors who truly care about the product they publish for us to read.</p>

<p>But the number one gripe I have about this story was in the last section where the wife tells her side. </p>

<p>In the telling of her story you have the narrative starting off in first person then switching to third person and then switching randomly. <b>This error is unforgivable.</b> I cannot stress this enough, and I cannot shout it loud enough. This particular error is a fatal one in the story. How you propose to author and publish a story when you don't understand the proper use of <b>'voice'</b> is beyond me.</p>

<p>I know there will be other readers who will overlook these errors and still take some satisfaction that the husband 'burned the bitch'. For me, the story itself was hijacked by inexplicably poor grammar and logic.</p>

except where the scene abruptly jumps to the guy being confronted. The other question is: was there a marriage to be saved? The answer by her actions is no. She broke the marriage contract in a variety of ways. The marriage actually ended the first time she went with the other man the pregnancy was just the final sign of total disrespect and betrayal of her marriage. The humiliation heaped upon the husband, not the wife, is the central theme of the essay. By her own actions she chose to have a bastard child, chose to end her marriage, chose to leave her children, and chose to be considered a whore. A whore because as the husband pointed out she got pregnant at work and was fucking a coworker. It is obvious she never really knew the man she was married to since she thought he would work with her on her adultry and illicit conception. Put another way, she was just plain ignorant trash being a common slut, not really the quality needed for marriage or motherhood.

revelation and in this case a natural event is correct. Shell shock is a more modern term for one overwhelmed by an event in which a person may or may not be in awe of. The story was great thanks.

But sure seemed rushed in places. And again, your continuous change of point of view from 1st to 3rd is just plain awful. I have commented on you POV problems in the past and have seen no improvement at all!

<p>Not to speak for the author, but you did read this right?</p>

<p><b>This story started creatively and then quickly fell apart. First of all, in what jurisdiction can the wronged husband forcibly evict his wife from their home? </b></p>

<p>The wife was shell shocked at the movers appearance, and she kept thinking that she could get her husband back. The shell shock was obvious from this comment in the story:<p>

<p><i>Every once in a while, they tried to ask Linda a question, but she was mentally somewhere else; so they just did the best they could.</i></p>

<p>And the other reason the wife let them move her was because he caught her off guard and he wasn't doing what she expected. She expected him to yell and scream, then stay with her. He on the other hand made plans to move her out of the house. That was really explained in the story. And here's the kicker, once she let them move her and signed for it, legally she <i>couldn't</i> come back. You might want to check that point. I watch someone get screwed over that one personally.</p>

<p><b> I guess I'm to assume that the papers she was given were some form of extortion on the husband's part?</b></p>

<p>What he gave her was under her part of the story:</p>

<p><i>when the movers came to the door. I told them to wait until Jim got back, but when he gave me the envelope, and I saw what was inside; I knew Jim knew everything. <b>It was a copy of the pregnancy test</b> I'd taken at the clinic.</i></p>

<p>I'm pretty sure, that covered what was in the envelope. (^_^). In the story she signed the divorce settlement to give up her kids because she didn't want anyone to know she had been cheating on her husband. But anyone who does basic math would no that the child was born 34-36 weeks later after they separated and not the 40weeks of a normal term sooooo........</p>

<p><b>The author of course told us that this was a no fault state, that the division of property was 50-50, etc., etc. This was all stated like a standard cliché that had to be included in the story. Personally I wish authors would stay away from the legalities of the divorce unless they understand them. </b></p>

<p>As of 1985 all states, except New York, have some form of "No Fault" divorce on the books.(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No-fault_divorce#The_adoption_of_no-fault_divorce_laws_by_the_other_states). The states where "No fault" isn't the only option you have, are easier to count than states where No fault is the only option. You might want to read up on Divorce law.</p>

<p>You'd be surprised how easy it is to get one. One that makes me laugh if you can get a no fault divorce for "Irreconcilable differences". Know what is one way that counts for that? If one mate asks for a divorce and the other mate tries to fight it. That proves the "inability to agree" grounds for it right there and for most states meets the criteria. And what is funny is I'm not kidding about that either. >=)</p>

<p>So far I'd say some of your points were actually covered pretty good. The others I can't comment on, because they are personal preferences (^_^)</p>

-Risq

I like your stories, but this one, though OK, was not your best. It lacked a bit of impact, and there was no great confrontation or anything like that. Not bad though, but you have, and no doubt will, do better. (My opinion )

I like your work, but man, you have just got to GET AN EDITOR!! You constantly change the voice of the narrator, or as another comment stated, the Point of View of the narrator from 3rd person to 1st person, & back again. It is very off-putting, & it is so simple to correct this obvious error in writing. Your work would benefit enormously from making this simple correction alone.

<p>Risq_001, we are actually more in agreement than you might think. I still hold that the wife was coerced into leaving her home. I misspoke when I termed this an act of extortion. Even though the wife left voluntarily, such an act does not necessarily constitute abandonment. The definition of abandonment varies by jurisdiction and may not even exist in a given locale (for example Florida). How far away she moved may even be significant in those states that do recognize abandonment. <p/>

<p>In matters of law, I always feel safe in saying 'it depends'. </p>

<p>Certainly by leaving her home the reader should not assume that the wife will be in a less advantageous position in the divorce. She maintains rights to a fair division of all marital property, which includes her home.<p>

<p>Whether the wife could return to her home and gain unfettered entry is another matter, and I would have to say that it depends. In my state the husband does not have the ability to 'lockout' a spouse, except for those rare instances related to safety and the public order.</p>

<p>As far as the concept of no fault is concerned, you somewhat played down the significance of whether no fault were the only available option in a state. It is the availability of other causes of action that make for interesting divorce stories.</p>

<p>I thought that author in this story gave too great an advantage to the husband, an advantage not represented in the laws of my state. So while his actions may have satisfied the need for revenge, they seemed very unrealistic.</P>

The sad thing is I think this WAS edited.

First of all I, like most reviewers, read to the end. That tells me something about plot line. There are so many stories where I just glaze over and scan to see if anything catches my interest. Yes, it would have been nice to have headers at every change of point of view, but I quickly figured it all out. Yes,there are legal issues, moral issues, ethical issues involved here. So, congratulations to the author for raising them in a readable (although not perfect) way.

There is nothing redeeming or worthwhile about this judgemental story. Perhaps you think if you make everyone very, very wrong, it will make you right. But the truth is, well, you won't find truth that way at all. You will just hurt everyone, yourself most of all.

Take a look at your own thoughts and actions. How do they uplift others? Who does it really serve to make yourself the self-rightous victim?

Think instead what you might do to uplift someone.

A previous commenter was right. There was extortion on the part of the husband. He threatened that he would send the photos to everyone she knew if she did not give up custody and sign a settlement agreement. Had that truly happened, Wife's attorney would have had a field day. Of course, had any of that happened, wife's attorney would have had a field day because hubby is acting in bad faith. Excuse me, he is getting a restraining order with no history or threat of violence? Sure he is. Also, while divorce law varies, I do not believe it varies this much. If wife owns the house too, she can legally re-enter and/or change locks. If hubby wants her out, he needs a court order to get her out. As to the custody provision, courts rarely care about a spouse committing adultery unless they involve the children in some manner, i.e. the children are placed in the middle of the marital problems or see the adultery being committed, etc. Do some research before you write this nonsense.

<p>You are right on how some of the law depends, but most of the states are following this guideline more and more.</p>

<p>http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/Pages/grounds.html#Grounds%20for%20Divorce%20by%20State</p>

<p>When I spoke of No fault divorces, what i meant was, out of 50 states only 30 allows for other grounds, besides no fault for a divorce. So for the other 20 the only option you can use is No fault. But 49 states allows an option of no fault to be used. Of the 49 only 1 allows "No fault" <i>not</i> to be used if one side contest the divorce (in Ohio), and 1 other state (Illinois) if "No fault" is used must be consented to by "both" parties before it can be considered.</p>

<p>So to be safe, I would say that any author that said any state (besides New York) that a character used "No fault" as a divorce would be correct. That is the most common used divorce and doesn't require any proof. Just the desire to "get out of the marriage". Other divorces required that you "prove" your case for the grounds used. And "adultery" has been removed as grounds for more states than I care to count.</p>

<p>But the only way to "prevent a divorce", or fight it, is to have it based on something other than no fault. The term itself means the marriage failed due to "no fault" of either party, and can't be contested. And that option exist for 49 states. That's really a fact. So if "you" think your happily married and your spouse doesn't, and they seek a divorce, there is nothing you can do to prevent a "No fault" divorce from happening if they really want it.</p>

<p>But the part on restraining orders, not to pick on folks, but some of you guys don't know what your talking about. See some of what I validate here is because my stupid "sister in-law" just did a lot of what is here in the story to her now "ex-husband" and you know what, as stupid as it sounds it actually happens</p>

<p>You can get a restraining order for almost anything, but when you first get one its a "Temporary order" meaning that if you can convince someone, or know someone, that the person you want it against is a threat they will give it too you.</p>

<p>That's what my sister in-law did to her ex-husband <i>"AND"</i> against my mother in-law when she complained to my sister in-law that her new boyfriend (the one she left her husband for, and used No fault as a grounds) was abusing her kids. Then after a set time (between 30-60 days usually) you go to court and see a judge who decides if he/she wants to make it a "permanent order". They will give out temporary ones like candy. Problem is don't piss off a judge with stupid stuff or it can back fire. Sorta of like it is currently with my stupid sister in-law</p>

<p>Third, guess what? If you'd done something wrong I can say "You know what I'm going to tell your family you cheated on me" and your attorney can't do anything about it. That's just fantasy that we often read here. You, nor your attorney, can stop someone from telling the <i>truth</i> about what you did. Otherwise the National Enquirer and Globe would be out of business, along with every newspaper that printed true stories since Watergate. There isn't any law that can prevent someone from telling the others the truth about what you did, long as it is the truth and you can back it up with proof. You have the amendment right to "freedom of speech", as long as its not slander. And the dictionary defines "slander" as:</p>

<p> malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name. </p>

<p>Which means if you decide to tell someone the "truth" about something you've done, you can't be prevented. The only thing they can try to do is prevent you from doing it for selfish gain, but again, all they can do is get you blocked before you talk to a judge, and if you tell the judge your just going to inform people, they can't prevent you indefinitely from doing it. Most judges won't even bother to hear about it. That's why the prefer no fault divorces</p>

<p>Now if you guys are saying that you've seen different I can't dispute that, but I've seen many divorces in four states (Indiana, Kentucky, Illinois, Ohio) and they all pretty much run the same course. Including restraining orders, no fault claims, etc.</p>

<p>Oh, and a side note. When the story said that she moved, she still had claim on the residence, but at the moment that you declare the intent to divorce, whether it from the wronged mate or the guilty one, there is a stop clock that starts. For example, if one mate gambles all the family finances, and the other mate ask for a divorce they don't get to go back to a time when they had more money and ask for a division of assets at that time. It's from the point that you intend to separate. The same goes for if you move.</p>

<p>If one mate "moves" from the family home, or changes residence, they still have interest in the family assets as far as division goes, but once you declare or have been declare as no longer living there, you don't get to wander back into the house because you still own half. Otherwise husbands who leave their wives, but come back before the divorce is final would be abusing the heck out of that. Once a divorce is in the works, and one person leaves for an reason, they are not seen as legally living there anymore. Check it out, that's the law, whether its fair or not isn't up for me to decide. But that kinda of screwed my brother in-law though. And he's a nice guy. </p>

<p>And lets not forget the children. Since the story said that he was getting custody, regardless of the reason, the courts will "NOT" force the custodial parent to sell the family home to split the proceeds if children live there. They will set the division off to the side until the children leave. Then the order comes into effect.</p>

<p>So while the story may not be fair, it is accurate in "some" aspects of the law. I know it is very accurate for Kentucky and Indiana. >=(</p>

-Risq

sorry dumshit...Risq is correct.

<br></br>

and you are NOT

for this "writer". It just doesn't seem to improve, and it cannot get worse.

You're bantering back and forth like you didn't even read the story?? What the hell is wrong with you guys? The authoer DID NOT IMPLY in any fashion that the guy was on solid legal ground... quite the contrary, he made it EXTREMELY CLEAR that he threatened the wife with EXPOSURE about her behavoir, SHE DECIDED to avoid that and go along with the terms... and her Attorney, (who by the way is NOT GOD), he did what his client instructed him to do. This outcome happens ALL THE TIME. How many people caught in such flagrant adultry... to the point of getting pregnant want people to know? What Mother wants her kids to grow-up knowing of her behavoir? she was motified, feeling guilty, and caved. Do I agree that it's ok that he never confronts/talks to her... no, that's just silly and immature. They need closure, they have kids together.

This story could have come out totally different if Linda had realized after her fatal slip that Jim would check up on any ovecharge since he is paying the bills. She would have made all of the moves Jim made beating him on filing for divorce and the restraining order. She could claim that v-snips do fail but Jim might act adversely toward her and the kids. Risq detailed a real life example so it comes down to timing. If Jim had not acted he could have found himself outside of his home and away from his kids on the defensive. She could have paid off a hotel clerk to lose the receipts and the hotel video tapes. Without any proof of her cheating no judge would order a DNA test. The one weak part of the story was that no medical professional would release any information to someone professing to be the spouse. With the law it is not right or wrong but what you can prove. Jim could have easily be paying for three kids, alimony, and a new place to live. I really can not feel sorry for Linda because she went back again and again to her lover until she was going to be outed by her pregnancy. She had no remorse for her actions. So what was they going to discuss prior to the divorce - how they were going to raise her lover's child?

SleeplessinMD

I agree with Risq on the legal situation. You cannot kick your spouse out of a community property home period! Although, if you leave voluntarily you cannot get anything out other than personal effects until after a hearing. Once again, adultery or not, he does not get automatic custody of the children. That is determined by the court as well, and generally speaking the wife will get custody if the children our young and need a Mother, especially girls. That her Father and everyone in the family assisted in moving her out smacks of bullshit actually. It was her home as well as his, and she could have called the Sheriff's office to have them stopped from even entering same! That she took the threat that he would expose her adultery, and then she failed to fight for her rights was just written into the story to make it work the way the author wanted it to. I guess she must have felt a huge wave of guilt to give up all her rights. This story sounds great to all you "Torch the Bitch" women haters but in fact, it was written just for you! I have 45 years in law enforcement in three different states and it just doesn't work this way! In fact, in New Mexico, she could have shot someone to protect someone invading her home! The story was a good work of fiction. The comments from some of the Anonymous readers are somewhat ignorant.

The story reads like the characters are real and this really happened. The pain and hurt feelings are really evident in Jim's character. As well as, the bewilderment and hurt feelings evident in Linda's character. The way you described how her affair started with one error in judgement after another until it was too late was perfect. It didn't paint Linda as a bad person, just a person that should have thought things through a little better. Excellent work of bringing those authentic feelings out in writing. It's not as easy as one might believe. Again, thank you for your story and sharing your talent with us.

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Now, like I've always said, One of the best parts of these stories is reading the comments and this story is no exception. I love observing peoples' reactions. It's so character exposing. And lets face it, some of these stories really hit us where we live. I especially love Risq_001's comment. I want to read more about your sister-in-law and how she dumped her husband. Hopefully, your wife isn't like her sister. I bet her sister was the baby of the family.

An excellent story, Jim was pretty damn mercifull to Linda I have to say. Nice to see all the proper characters punished for their betrayals.

well, a very journalistic recollection of facts - the wife fucked around - she got pregnant (thank god, how else would the husband have known) - got divorced - nobody displayed any kind of feelings - just dump the bitch - no problem.

One of your best.

Great story !!!!!!!!

At least i this story a MAN had some BALLS!!!

Not exceptional, for you. You still seem to have (or have had, I'm not monitoring these stories' chronologies) POV issues. She got entranced, fucked, and thus, fucked up. A simple sad tale. What she had in mind while waiting to talk to her husband is not imaginable, but your women do seem to dream on. The real ones too, I suppose, when in deep trouble.

I am getting tired of reading stories where the point-of-view changes from first person to third withiin the same paragraph.

Also, this story is not very convincing; too unrealistic.

...I did love you?

Actually, I didn't get much sadness from him so...?

No wimp, I like that!

And I'm glad!!! You're more like a Rehnquist than a JPB, I think. I'm not intending to insult JPB ... He is an excellent author ... I just don't like how many/most of his stories turn out.

and now comes the consequences, never a pleasant existence. TK U MLJ LV NV

IN WHAT STATE can you throw a wife out, change the locks and take away her kids.. HOW can he get a restraining order on what grounds. most states donot allow adultry in divorce cases . everthing today is split evenly if one party cheats.. so this does not work for me. it to good to be true. and to loose it so fast without finding out the facts and geting the sister to take care of the kids.. no way jose..what a crock..

Anonymous took the story too seriously. When one writes fiction one is allowed to have liberties with the story. The protagonist did not wimp out.

Slirpuff, learn the difference between REDICULES and REDICLOUS, every story of yours I have read, you use the former when it should be the later.

Some stories can stand with just cursory explanation of the cheater's motivation, but this one feels like it has a gaping hole. She had small children & a husband she supposedly loved & respected. Perhaps there was much more to this betrayal than just simple infatuation, especially since it took so long to develop.

Do you always walk around with your head in the sand? Just because it isn't legal doesn't mean the aggrieved party (the husband Jim in this case) cannot throw the wife out and change the locks. As for taking away the kids, it seems she gave them away when she became pregnant by someone other than her spouse. You see, whomever files for divorce first can ask for almost anything reasonable and it will be granted. Of course it might not hold up once the opposing attorney files a motion to amend or dismiss but until that court appearance the original petition stands. Another thing you seemed to overlook is that it isn't whether or not he can file citing adultery as the primary reason (although it is still allowed in certain states), but it was more the idea that Jim would/could communicate with everyone Linda knew and disperse the evidence the PI firm had acquired (the pictures, the pregnancy, etc) and it would basically destroy her reputation. The biggest result from this is that she might have to move to another town or state to even be able to find suitable work again. My reading comprehension of this story described that Jim's sister wasn't going to take care of the kids but merely assist her brother with any issues that might arise from their growth through puberty.

I am so sorry it doesn't work for you but it sure does for me.

I

This inept story is a juvenile male fantasy. If movers showed up at my house and said my wife told them to move my stuff I'd look for the candid camera before kicking their shitty asses off my porch. I'm sorry you would bend over and take it Jack but in states where men have balls and brains that shit would not fly.

Jim did what he had to do to rid himself of a pregnant cheating whore slut wife. Stupid bitch.

the fattest cock is smoked, buggered by a meaty pole, betrayed!

to come up with a super lame joke/punchline. TK U MLJ LV NV

This bozo makes the same comment to every single LW story: some inane bullshit about smoking a fat cock, some kind of meat or whatever. It's more or less the same EVERY time. What is the deal? It doesn't make any sense.

Well, Beautyfish, it's like they say in writing class: write from what you know!

First, I gave your story only a single star. I'll admit it, because there was a reason for it...and because I honestly think your work can be strong enough (with some serious effort on your part) to get higher rankings from not only myself but from the majority of Literotica readers.

The content of your story - namely, the plot and the characters - were solid. You had a tale to tell and your story line did not wander all over the place. That got you your star.

However, your spelling is atrocious; seriously, your spelling is God-awful. "Supposed to" is the proper way to use the phrase (it's never "suppose to"; "suppose" is a present-tense verb, such as, "I suppose you'll still make the same mistake, even after I've given you this example."). Also, if you're using currency symbols, you do not qualify the amount - it should read, "Well, that was $1,000.00 down the tubes."; as you wrote it, it would read, "Well, that was a one thousand dollars down the tubes." See what I mean? "Ridicules" involves making fun of someone or something ("He ridicules you for getting 'ridiculous' and 'ridicules' mixed up.") and "women" is the word used when you're talking about more than one "woman".

Your punctuation is every bit as bad, and rather than go into a long description of just where things went so horribly wrong, I'll just say this: don't use semicolons if you're not 100% sure how they work. A semicolon is used when you're joining two related stand-alone sentences into one longer form. Also, learn where the apostrophes need to be placed (and when to do so) so that your ownership tags will make sense "kids' stuff," for example...which, through the placement of the apostrophe, indicates that the stuff in question belongs to all the kids being discussed.

An editor can be a HUGE help with the problems I've mentioned above, and I highly recommend you looking into setting up something with one of them. In addition, an editor can also help you break the habit of jumping from one viewpoint to another - in this case, from third-person (where the author doesn't use personal pronouns such as "I", "my" or "me" outside of dialogue) and first-person (where the author is telling the tale from the viewpoint of the protagonist, and uses personal pronouns throughout the work). Jumping back and forth is sloppy, and takes so much away from what could be a good story.

Good luck with your ongoing work, and I'll keep reading to hopefully see improvement as you develop your style, skills and confidence.

The pompous Mr. Ntropy apparently missed the fact that the DATES of the stories are recorded on the author's page. This story was posted in 2009, so Mr. N could in fact track the progress of Slirpuff's work. But it's much more fun, I guess, to be a condescending windbag and try to lower the ratings on another writer's story. By the way, we can't track the further progress of Ntropy's work because he hasn't posted a story SINCE 2009.

His wife not only allowed herself to enter into an affair and lied all during it to her husband, but she got pregnant by her co-worker and lied to her husband about the pregnancy test bill. She acted throughout the affair that was was most important to her was her own satisfaction and apparently gave no thought to what her actions could potentially due to her marriage and her family.In her narration of the affair she seem conflicted at the beginning but nontheless kept seeing her co-worker which was gravely stupid on her part. So many people swear that the sex during an affair near the beginning is far better than with their spouse. Certainly pulling the wool over their spouse's eyes can be fun and learning sex with new partner is fun and acting in a way that other people would see as scandulous is also fun. For a well adjusted person those previously mentioned fun things from an affair are definitly not worth the loss of ther long term relationship. Also they are fun granted but they are NOT erotic.

A vasectomy by being "sniped", thats GOT to hurt. Did they use one of those big Barrett .50 cal rifles?

Good story, in spite of the inadvertent demonstration of the limits of spell checker on a pea sea.

This read more like a after-action report than a decent story

Still, I gave it 3* as the plot and characters were good.

Good story but story is narrated sometimes in 1st person and sometime in 3rd person. make it either one of them.

I found this story easy to read and was able to follow the plot. This is a Fiction story so who cares about the exact legalities. I kicked my cheating wife out the door even though it was not strictly legal and she thought it wise to head my advice.

You switched back and forth between 1st an3rd person with no rhyme or reason. Sometimes in mid paragraph. It hurt an otherwise enjoyable story.

She would have gotten custody, regardless of what he wanted. Her being pregnant wouldn't effect the outcome. And threatening her in front of the attorneys would have ended ANY chance he had to get custody. Judges take a dim view of blackmail. And any Mother would have laughed in his face and told him to do whatever, I'm still taking my babies. Not that this was badly written, it wasn't. There were a number of irritating errors, but who wants to be the Grammar Police? No, what ruined the story was that he thought he would get custody. What a fool. He lost.

When the other party agrees to the terms.

Sure, women get custody in most court battles. Yet in this scenario the case was settled out of court. All that is left is for the attorneys to file the settlement for a judge's approval.

Clearly this was a story written before you overcame your comma addiction. Thankfully you did.

That said he was a fool for thinking he would get custody.

He WOULD get custody! The moment she signed the papers, it became an officially binding legal contract. The courts wouldn`t look any further than that, unless there was some allegation against his parenting ability. Not contested, no history of abuse, no alcoholism or arrests, they look no further. The kids are his.

I have one question, Who's baby was it?????? The wife claims her lover always wore condoms and her husband got snipped. That right there tells me that she was sleeping with someone else unprotected. I wish this story had more to it, like what happened to her lover. Did the husband get revenge on him????

The switching between 1st and 3rd person was distracting and annoying. Otherwise a decent story.

Switching POV without letting the reader know was too distracting.

A bit confused about the chronology of events. He finds out that she is pregnant. She already knows that she is pregnant. He then decides to have a PI follow her to get evidence. The PI gets photos of them. So she still hooked up with him after finding out she was pregnant? Ok. Then why does the story begin with her sitting at the table dreading having to tell hubby about her affair and regretting it? Apparently she didn't regret it that much if she was still meeting up with him for sex. And if she didn't regret it that much, why is she ready to confess?

The comments on this one are virulent! It is a well told and well written story. Here is my breakdown of the plot:

1. The wife was your typical middle class trash office slut. There are plenty of them out there, they are typically pretty, but not beautiful. They are usually over thirty and married (at least for a while). They like going to work more than staying home with the kids and they like to go out without their husbands.

2. The husband did what he had to do, not for revenge but FOR the children Hansbawl! His pregnant slut wife was not fit to be their mother. When she cheated on her husband SHE ALSO CHEATED ON HER CHILDREN! Who here does not get that? Know anyone who has children and been tempted to cheat, but did not cheat because of their love for their children, not the dried up love they had for their spouse? Marriages go bad all the time. The relationship between husband and wife die the death of a thousand cuts. Each slashing at the other with little jabs for years until the life's blood has run out of the marriage. Even so, most parents can control themselves for their kids sake and still be good parents. Cheaters by definition, are never good parents.

3. His actions were swift and clean. The children would eventually know that there mother traded sex with a creep in a motel room for a life with them. As they grow, so will their anger and shame. The best thing to do is not to hide the truth, but expose it. Amputate the rotten mother, clean out the wound, and graft on a new mother (the aunt)

4. Where does all this leave the husband? Is his life better now? Will this make him happy? Hell no, but at least he can heal and learn to live with what he has. If he had stayed with his wife it would have killed him. There was no mention of an abortion either - that test was a month ago! It could have been done the next day. So, she was going to have the child? All of the sudden a slut has scruples and believes in a right to life? What about the lives of her husband and children? Disgusting.

Unrealistic.

All through the story, the author bounced between first and third person. I was aggravating.

There wasn't much emotion either. The best I could do was give it a 3 and that was pushing it.

boring.............

“Linda hadn't come up with any new things she wanted to try, and was still refusing Jim the other things he had always asked for; so nothing had changed.” – It’s always the wives who don’t want anything different in their sex lives who suddenly need variety!

“coincident” should be “coincidence”

How stupid can you be to have unprotected sex with a lover when your husband has had a vasectomy. Apparently it WASN'T unprotected, I guess the condom broke, or maybe there was some drippage when David came on her back! And how did he cum on her back if he wore a condom?

And why do these wives think that feeling old and getting some flattering attention from a younger man is justification for cheating? I’m sure their husbands are feeling older too, but I’ll bet their wives wouldn’t appreciate them responding to some young bimbos!

I think married people should read stories like this...it might give them something to think about if someone starts hitting on them...I personally would rather hang myself then cheat on my wife..

Linda's lawyer told Jim to go fuck himself. The reality is that Linda got full custody, the use of the house until the kids were 18, alimony, child support, half their bank accounts and half his retirement. Jim's threat to tell people meant nothing. Her Parents already knew and nobody else made any difference. She just asked Jim if he wanted his children bullied at school if everyone found out their Mother was a cheating slut? Easy answer - NO. So Jim lost his ass, lost custody, got to see the kids every other weekend and ended up paying to raise Linda's bastard kid. If you believe anything else happened. you're delusional. Jim took it in the ass in Court and was forced to smile when the Judge fucked him. Your story was just ridiculous.

I actually thought David was treated a little harshly.

He wasn't exactly a predator, SHE actually came on to HIM!

True, he should have recognized that she was married, and getting the room was a bit much, but the responsibility to be faithful was on HER shoulders.

. . . .on so many levels

One thing we all can agree. The cheating cunt whore skank wife, pregnant by her lover, deserved all she got. In fiction anything can happen. So actually she gave birth to twins, of different races as her lover was of mixed race parentage and her parents threw her out, kept the kids and she moved to the red light district and sucked cock for a living. Then caught a bad disease and suffered in pain and anguish.

See? I told you that in fiction anything is possible.

Not really a bad story, but not particularly good either. It was a little confusing the way the timeline jumped back and forth. And I didn't think it was really finished either.

Seemed like everything led up to a split, and then BAM!!!; One last paragraph mentioning divorce, and boom, it's over. I would have liked to see the story fleshed out a little after the divorce.

That's it. Enjoyed It immensely.

The cheating bitch got her just desert but the arsehole she cheated with got away scot free but I gave it ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Hi there peoples! Truly I wonder how many women get knocked up during their affairs with Big slug.? In Australia abortion clinics are as common as milk bars or diners! YOU FUCK-WE SUCK. OR YOU BLOW IN WE SUCK OUT? Story is Fantastic! Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE. OH OH !PLEEEEEEEEEZE IF YOU FIND THE % OF WOMEN THAT GET KNOCKED UP PLEASE SHARE WITH US PERCENTAGE NOT THE WHORE !

Five stars.

I've read a lot of the comments and the criticisms but wouldn't dream of doing so myself. You did a far better job than I ever could. Interestingly, I looked up the named members to see how it should be done. Strangely, I could see no submissions by them. It seems that if you can't do, you become a critic.

In any Court in the land Jim gets creamed. Linda got the kids, primary custody, alimony and child support. If Jim goes public with her private medical information, he could land in jail. And Linda would certainly sue the Clinic and win a ton of money in a Civil lawsuit. Jim has absolutely NO rights to her medical information. So while I laughed at your ending, the reality is that it never would have happened.

Live the last line. Still five stars.

What do I know how to raise children...

If he had been a good husband he would have known.

Burn the bitch, you are not a man.

will fall on the daughters, but not in his house, TK U MLJ LV NV

Getting a pound of flesh from David means having him leave town????? REALLY????

OH, wait...Jim's from a town called Wimpsville!

She-it man! The comments are mind blowing! OH WELL! She got fucked, husband fucked her off, now she is Preggers and totally fucked up! TOTALLY AWESOME DUDE

But you can come by with your pendant body and see the girls any time you want with unlimited visitation. Lol what is the point of that, and exactly what happened in this story to make him think he had that much power? Did he threaten a judge at gunpoint? I sense a lack of an editor and so much craving for the btb crowd to kiss your ass that you forgot an actual plot. I like btb but this is just fucking pointless.

The story was written just so you ould use the workmen's compensation line.

The threat is empty as people will notice her pregnancy and will know about divorce

1 plus 1

Have you noticed what one reader likes another will hate? Good story. I was satisfied with the ending, which is usually my biggest complaint.