All Comments on 'Aaron's New Stepsister'

This is your first story? Very nicely done. You started by giving the characters some depth and a little backstory. Plus you've tantalized your readers by little clues as to what might possibly happen in future chapters. You've got me interested!

Can't wait for part 2!

Congratulations on posting your first story - this was a very good first effort. You did a good job setting up the situation and introducing the characters. The pacing was good. You can work on the dialogue, which is a little stilted. All in all, a very good first effort.

Looking forward to the continuation of this story. You are an excellent writer.

Yeah I liked it too. As soon as I remember my password I can sign in under my ID (bugger). Two points, "We lied on the bed". "We LAY on the bed". And the sex position with girl on top is the cowGIRL not the cowBOY as SHE is the rider.

Good story in genral. A little cheesy though i.e (unless she dated a porn star or something). The dialog needs work but all and all it wasnt half bad.

overall was an excellent story a few grammatical errors but great depth and perspective i love how you made sure to add the moral conflict into Aaron's conciousness it made for a better read. for your first ever story submission i think you have created a masterpeice. keep up the great work as i cannot wait for part 2. thank you for tantilizing my mind.

seemed way to rushed and unrealistic. when he found out his father was dating and getting married after only a few months it seems he would have been pissed off and not gone home at all. as to the sudden and rushed sex between him and kristy what you wrote should be spread out over weeks at minimum more likely months. if the father was so rich why didn't aaron ask to stay at a hotel instead of getting pissed that kristy had his room. needs a rewrite with more background and more detail spreading things out better.

Not too shabby. Pay heed to the readers comments, they could/will make you a better writter.

Handyman2

Agreed with the posters above who said the dialogue was a bit rough and the two rushed into the sex. Realistically, one would think it needed more seduction considering the taboo nature of the two. Also, as a star football player, youd think hes had enough tail to not get so easily aroused by her. Unless hes a horndog, which you gave no indication of.

However, there was enough background to keep the characters somewhat real and interesting. Certainly interesting enough to read part two and find out what's going on. Grammar and spelling was fine, which is always huge. Nothing distracts more from a story than that. Looking forward to the next part.

I enjoyed it. maybe put some more dialogue in during the parts where you explain things, like instead of saying that they talked in the car and he found out she wanted to be a nurse or whatever you actually have the dialogue of that interaction so we get more of a sense of them as people.

i did want to address the other previous comment though who thought he shouldn't get so easily aroused by her since he gets plenty of tail, the author did address that in the scene with the pool, the guy wonders to himself why hes getting aroused all the time around her since hes not usually like that. personally it seems to me that its because hes secretly aroused at the concept of fucking his sister:)

i enjoyed this story. more dirty talkin!!!!

I wanked real good reading this story, the resulting load showed how hot this story is.

Barry - looking forward to more in this series.

Next chapter please.

Thanks for the comments everyone! Part 2 has now been put up.

http://www.literotica.com/s/aarons-new-stepsister-ch-02

this was way to rushed and unrealistic. he accepted his father getting married and his step sister taking his room way to easily he should have been a lot more pissed off. he also accepted all the teasing shit from kristy to easy it would have driven him away not brought him closer. i stopped when they were at the club it was just to ubelievable to continue what happened in the first part of this story should have been spread out over months if not years. DELETE THE SERIES AND REWRITE IT AND SLOW DOWN THE ACTION YOU RUSHED IT WAY TO FAST THIS ISN'T THE INDY 500 IT NEEDS TO BE MORE LIKE A SLOW STROLL.

For your 1st story, it was well done!

I kinda lost interest pretty quick, the extra brother in the story is kind of a turnoff for me, then the whole bs of moving his hips back when his sister hugged him, like he's going to get wood in the five seconds she's hugging him. Besides, who DOES that anyway?! Unless you're wearing slacks or loose shorts nobody is going to feel much anyway, and if you have loose clothes, well everyone can see it, lol. Hot stepsister? Let her feel it, so what! Not like shes gonna be offended, lol. Then right after that the whole 'I wouldnt/couldnt do my step-sister because it would cause problems, blah blah. What problems? Two adults want to see each other, so they live under the same roof, thats just a perk! Hell, my mom wouldnt have a problem if I wanted to date her latest husbands grown daughter! She'd literally be like 'keep the noise down in your room after ten, ok? ...and if y'all break up later you better stay friends, otherwise take your arguments outside, I dont want any pissing matches in the house. Now go have fun, one of us should be getting laid tonight!' Lol.

...and why call her his new step-sister? He'd just say sister. ....anyway all that in a few paragraphs just really turned me off. Maybe the story turns out great, hope so, just couldnt read further, sorry.

Why do writer think big 9" dicks make good storys

Why do writer think big 9" dicks make good storys

So far so good, now lets wee where this leads. Is she doing Stephen, I guess we will find out in the next chapter.

I liked some of it and want to read more.

But I agree with others, why the gigantic dick sizes. So unreal, even that she could measure it to the inch from just feeling it behind her. Right1

(12/17/2021) Nicely done; this was an enjoyable read. So many possibilities here for a great read. 5 stars. Now on to part II.

Please continue the story.

Aaron should have bitch slapped her. 1*

very good start