All Comments on 'Across the Reef and into the Sea'

by Maonaigh

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  • 20 Comments
PixiehoffPixiehoffalmost 2 years ago

Ah that Siren calling him out to his fate xxxxx Another wonderful story from you

stroudlestroudlealmost 2 years ago

I have not heard of HP Lovecraft and the fictional town before but you made it very atmospheric . Another brilliant story from you Maonaigh and the last 3 lines will have me thinking twice about chasing after mermaids or swimming in the sea for a while Thank you for sharing your talent . Jc

WaxPhilosophicWaxPhilosophicalmost 2 years ago

I will never, ever go swimming in New England ever again, Innsmouth or otherwise. Not your usual genre on this site, but it certainly has your flair for weaving a captivating story. I'm giving it five stars. Five rotting, sea weed covered stars... Obscured by a thick mist... Stars that are pulsating, as if they're alive...

...I'm off to make a stiff drink.

Slurpy29Slurpy29almost 2 years ago

Great, headed to the beach in the next few weeks and now I have something more to worry about besides sharks. Thanks a lot. Seriously though this is a very nicely written haunting (terrorizing) story.

LilyVonSchtuppLilyVonSchtuppalmost 2 years ago
Warning signs

Why were there no warning signs on the beach? Nothing to tell the tourists that there were flesh eating monsters and they should not go in past their knees? This is why I try to avoid the beach.

But seriously, well written and creepy. Lovecraft would approve. You could certainly write more stories in this genre. It was thoroughly enjoyable. Thank you for sharing.

Boyd PercyBoyd Percyalmost 2 years ago

Interesting story!

5

DessertmanDessertmanalmost 2 years ago

You are a very talented writer.

ChopinesqueChopinesquealmost 2 years ago

Seriously good. Surprise at the end. Creepy and word pictures so good. You might've drawn out the ending into a longer story.

Candy_Kane54Candy_Kane54almost 2 years ago

Beautiful word picture Maonaigh. Your take on Lovecraft was great. Five stars!

Shaima32Shaima32over 1 year ago

I must admit i've never read any Lovecraft but it was a superb Gothic tale. Personally i'd have preferred to stand back at a distance and just paint the mermaid! Moral of the story, stay away from Innsmouth and mermaids. A well deserved 5 stars as usual.

alexwatson62alexwatson62over 1 year ago

Holy crap mate.

This would have made an amazing story for the likes of Tales Of The Unexpected or the Twilight Zone!

Outstanding is the only word for this one.

FranziskaSissyFranziskaSissyover 1 year ago

For just 2 pages, the written scenario left a perfect immagination ...... My picture, nothing I'd like to spent spme time, cold monochrome rainy spuky, adams family might a sunshine appearance

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

vanmyers86vanmyers86over 1 year ago

Beautiful, atmospheric work that builds to an inevitable ending - this'll keep me from dipping anything more than a toe in the waters off New England! Would love to see this as an episode of Dr Who.

Probus888Probus888over 1 year ago

Thanks for reading my Lovecraftian tale: 'The Horror from the Blizzard'. Yours was a haunting story, thanks for the tip, and likewise 5* great and really evoked the atmosphere of Innsmouth. You wrote: Anyway, you wouldn't enjoy sex in Innsmouth. But that never stopped old Obadiah Marsh in 'The Shadow Over Innsmouth'!

UncleGrahamUncleGrahamover 1 year ago

I didn't need the initial tease about the mermaid. I think it would have been better without. Still giving five starts though. Great stuff.

ThatNewGuyThatNewGuyover 1 year ago

Masterful. Whereas Lomax uses paint to conjure a foreboding landscape that "can induce a choking sense of fear," you use words. One of the most evocative and atmospheric pieces I've read on this site. The setting is as much as a character as any of the people that populate the story. I read this paragraph, then immediately read it again because it so beautifully and succinctly painted the scene:

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"On either side of the bus Lomax could see great stretches of marshland, the only vegetation being massed reeds and rushes, pallid in colour, with the occasional bare, stunted tree. Richie's cab window was still partly open and Lomax kept getting rank whiffs of salty water and rotting plant-life, as if the whole area was stagnating."

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I also loved the opening sentence. It's a perfect hook to keep you reading through the slow build that follows.

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Lastly, I appreciate the carefully selected details that you include to make the characters feel "lived in." To wit: "He pulled out a pack of Camels one-handed ... Richie lit his cigarette with an old Zippo, dented in several places." The use of "one-handed" here really helped me to see the character performing the action. The ease with which he removes the Camels and the condition of the lighter also make clear that Richie has made this trip many, many times (often with an eerily empty vehicle).

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Thanks for sharing such a compelling piece. I look forward to reading some of your other work.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Debated whether to give this a 2 or a 3. I finally settled on a 3 because I can't figure out why I didn't like the story.

chytownchytown11 months ago

*****Fun read what a dummy Lomax was. Thanks for sharing.

oldpantythiefoldpantythief7 months ago

Not how I thought it would end, but it sure sucked for Lomax though. Well written in that it was very descriptive and painted a good image in my mind's eye. Not sure how the sports store was available when he needed one, but this if fiction, isn't it? LOL.

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

I love a good fantasy story and I’m not afraid of deep dark waters. Yah‘ see, I let white sharks chew on my feet calluses, my favorite dish is mermaid pussy pastrami and it’s fun to see megalodon gagging on my cock. So yeh, I piss from time to time in the sea, yeah I know, it’s a disturbing habit.

Cheers,

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I've been writing semi-pro since the 1960s, most of my stories falling under the blanket heading of weird tales. However, I'd written nothing for 5-6 years because my wife was very ill and disabled and care for her was my priority. Some months after her death in December 2013 ...