All Comments on 'After The Wife Walks In'

Nice. but please get an editor or at least a spell checker.

I thought this was excellent! Looking forward to more from you.

Well written, good pace, real characters. Oral sex tastes better after an entre

I totally enjoyed this read and it was a great departure from the regular sexually focused stories. Looking forward to the next one.

you write this story sooo beautifully! i would love to read more of it.. :)

Would like to read more about them. Thanks

Minor issue, but it you want to refer to real-world details, please be sure to get the right. It was "Mr. Walton" not "Mr. Walden" of Wal-Mart.

Otherwise, a great read

Great story - thanks for submitting it - any chance of more?

What I loved most about this story is that it was not just about sex but love, great job thank you, please write more . Your wife is a very wise lady.

I really enjoyed this. Just enough sex to make it real and the plot was very good. keep up the good work

You are a very readable author. Enjoyed this and shared it with my wife. Good things happen when you listen to your wife.

I thoughly enjoyed this story. I'm sorry to nit-pick, but the only reason I didn't title my comment "Excellent Story" was the small number of spelling and grammical errors.

Keep up the good work, please.

A good story with just enough twists and turns to make it a pleasant drive. Thank you!

It always annoys me when the wife being cheated on remains clueless so automatically had to say KUDOS for not going true to form.

And I love that Marcy got her happily ever after. Great story!

What will the names of the twin boy and girl be?

This site is about fucking----not Corporate America!!!!!!!!!!

I loved how you turned it into a love story.

As somebody wrote, this site is about sex, and not love stories, and that too a love story which looks like a Demi Moore and Ashton Kutchner story.The only difference is here the male is a powerful man, instead of a powerful Demi Moore.

You have a wonderful gift for bringing a story to life and showing the emotions of the characters. I generally don't read outside of my preferred categories but I follow your submissions where ever they take me.

As for the lessening of sex, it was fine by me, this is after all the mature category, and this was a mature topic about events that happen every day. Just my humble opinion.

Thanks for sharing and I look forward to your next submission.

IDB.

Myhands, I look forward to reading more of your work - sex with a strong storyline and a human component, thank you, job done - that reads like my life, my wife and I enjoyed it immensely.

oh, and anonymous, grow a pair and identify yourself if you want to rant.

Consistency.

I do believe this was one of the top stories on this site! Also the lessons on why ethics matter not only in persoanal matter but inbussiness and I dare say the political arena.....and do we need them in America! Great job, well worth five stars!

Mh316,

(she) OH! This is good! (he) Yeah, thought you'd like it. (she) Tell him it really is. You were an English Major so can you help him with the spelling? (he) No he is just fine and will be read by those who like it for what it is. Just like we did.

Thanks for sharing on Lit, Myhands316. Life is what you make it and in Corporate America the real "Millers", make it right.

i LOVED EVERY SINGLE SENTANCE OF IT.....

A very nice story as written. There'd have been no need for more explicit sex than was there. Keep writing. You're very good.

A few minor typos toward the end but overall I loved it. Nice character development and surprised me with where it went. Keep up the great writing!

I'll add to the earlier remarks about the content. The story doesn't have to be over some threshold of XXX-rated content to be here. The level was fine, more would have enhanced it (and added several pages probably). Good as-is however. I really enjoyed the reading.

Yes, better editing would create fewer distractions. What was there wasn't that bad. Thanks for sharing and I'll look forward to reading more of your work.

Personally, I enjoyed the story very much. Just because it's on this site doesn't mean every other paragraph needs to be a descriptive sex scene. The sexual energy throughout the story was enough to keep me "turning" the pages.

I agree with the previous comments, but would like to reinforce those regarding editing. There were points where the spelling and grammar were so annoying that I was on the verge of giving up. I'm glad I didn't, but it was a near thing.

LESSON: Do not annoy your reader!

Excelllent job as a storyteller. I thought your storyline and character development were among the best I've read on Literotica.

With a decent editors review this would have been an even better read.

I must also agree with all the above

it make me have watery eyes on last page thank-you

:-)

One of the most annoying irritations I suffer through reading online is the all too common dependence on the spellchecker functions of which ever word processor program the writers are abusing.

Okay, as an aggravation it's neck and neck with characters acting like perpetual tweeners and talking like ten year old pre-adolescents. Yes, yes, I understand the Neo-Confucianist Legalist doctrine of pretending that all characters of the erotic stories on the Internet are 18 years old plus.

Unfortunately it is all too common, that the programmers who write the spellcheck programs most likely failed their Basic English classes and are only functionally literate. When my granddaughter was starting junior high, she needed an atlas, so we went shopping through several bookstores. The only one I could find, that might have lasted her through the next several years of school, was riddled with errors. I was surprised at such poor quality of editing, then I checked the index for editors. Then I was shocked to find an entire page listing editors, with all their degrees and awards, ad nauseum. Since she was advanced literate, I bought her a college level atlas that she still uses.

What happens to work reliant upon the spellcheck functions, is that the authors and editors are permitting the program to automatically replace mis-spelled words with correctly spelled words. Just the WRONG correctly spelled words! A few have been amusing, most are obviously cringe-worthy pathetic.

An interesting incorrect substitution I have noticed as being a common occurrence in Literotica stories is the mis-spellings of 'shudder' being replaced with variations of 'shutter'. At first I just figured this was another pisser by spellcheck but it just occurs all too often. Now I have a sneaking hunch that this might be deliberate by Literotica authors as a hidden way to check on copyright infringements. So now I gotta wonder what percentage of errors are deliberate?

I loved the story, keep up the good work.

Loved the story, but cannot abide adding food colourant to Lemon Chicken. Strange what some people will nitpick over.

very compelling story. lot better then a sex novel where a man cums 20 times an hour, all men know porn stars cant do that,,,,

love the ending

btw im straight male,, keep up the good writing ,, hoping i get to read more,

I have read most of your stories and it never fails. I hate when i get to the last page! everytime!

That was a stupendous surprise and a most unforeseen delight. Totally out of the ordinary on Lit. and much the better for it. Now for the pleasure of enjoying some more of your work.

Must say I enjoyed Consistency 12 remark. Spot on cobber.

See, my bloody spell checker says 'cobber' is a mistake.

I got to page 4 and quit. I think it would have been much better if the characters had been more nuanced. The bad guys were soo bad, the protagonist was soo nice, soo perfect. They weren't real. Which is a shame, because I imagine the story was going somewhere, but it was a mighty slow ride at least through the point where I got off the merry go round.

Still, others loved it, so what do I know?

Thanks for writing this story. I found it to be a good read with a well developed story line. I really enjoyed it.

I must admit I did burst out laughing with your spelling error on the last page. Suffice to say I found the visual image of a bunch of 12 carrots just too much.

I would suggest you ignore those people who complain about your English (or American). I did my degree and teaching qualification in the days before computers and I wrote with a dictionary by my side. I could not spell then and I still can't.

Thanks again.

jh

Great story. Many thanks!

Nice 180 story, characters developed really well. Leaves the reader happy. Well done

Your apologies for a lack of sexual content are unfound. The theme and tone of the story is warrant of a gold star. This story makes SITC, Dallas etc seem like comic book efforts. Please develop this story thru the ages and who knows, could be suitable for TV serial or Stage production. Well done!!

Very well written story with excellent characters. Your wife was right, it flowed very well.

I am only one reader, and I have only one response ...MORE! The story is robust, the storyline broad, the characters developed, and the ending is sweet and timeless. A "5", but I sense you have more than this inside you. Please continue to exhibit your skills for us.

This is the first time that I've ever felt that a 5 just isn't high enough. I'm giving you a 5++. Hope you've written other stories. Keep up your fine work.

Although not financially as well off as Miller, I met my wife after I went back to college following military time. Seems like we had to face a few of the problems Marcella did about money but a few years passed and I was making double her salary running my own company. Now we are retired living on the ranch and traveling at our leisure.

Yep, a true to life story.

good reading

Great story. Just enough sex. The paragraph about Pascally's after dinner has nothing to do with the story but the error that really caught my eye was (It had to be five carrots) a very good ring if you're "Bugs Bunny" but not for Marcella,but a very enjoyable story.

It was also quite humourous. But I don't think many of the times I was laughing were intended by the author.

The 5 carrot ring

They were wise to skip the house wines on their first date, " Would you like to look at the wine list? We have a vino-grappa, and a vino-blanka house wine, depending on the entree."

and so many more

A great story. I really enjoyed it.

One small detail

White roses are for weddings and innocence.

Yellow roses are for friendship.

This is still easily my all time top 5 favorite story on the site. Who am I kidding, it's my favorite. I'd lost track of the story and only recently rediscovered it. What a great read.

What a great story best thing I've read in a long time . I disagree with your wife to a degree. I feel it could of been a bit more detailed on the passion they shared specially after the stick she gives him in class but overall very good

Terrific, we need more like this.

You definitely wrote a great story after telling us that's what you wanted to accomplish... what happens after the wife walks in... I think it's the first 5 I've ever voted.

Wonderful story and I could not find it in my conscience to give it anything less than a 5.

Well crafted, a good read.

Boy, a story about 2 people who really love each other. It was wonderful, such an enjoyable read. I wish it was pages longer. These are the kind of people that I would like to meet. (I know there has to be some like this in real life.) Thank you for another very enjoyable and entertaining story.

what a wounder full read -- I feel a 5 is not good enough ---wounder full wounder full

This was GREAT! I enjoyed reading the development of the relationship and the struggle to fill his father's shoes in the business. Very well done.

An enjoyable read , thank you for sharing

His language would not fly in corporate environment. Not a chance. This soumds like a private company due to all stock being locked up. SEC would not care.

His imsurance would not matter till they are married as well.

But the story crumbled in the last third. More time could have been taken to flesh out the last part of the story.

I enjoyed the story great read and not going into great detail on the sex was nice anymore would have distracted from the story well done

At Page 1, Marcy says, "It is a damn good thing that I inherited the house from my parents, or we'd be in a world of hurt. Fortunately I resisted his urging to get a mortgage against the property value."

At Page 3, the reader is informed, "She was able to keep her house, but just barely. She had to borrow against her retirement to pay for his portion. She knew she had added ten more years before she was even close to finically secure as she was the day she caught them."

It's her separate property on Page 1, so he doesn't have an interest in the property. Unless she was foolish enough to give an interst in the property to him! However, since she refused his urging to get a mortgage, her gift to him of an interest in the property seems most unlikely.

Wow, this long and still getting comments.... Now for the part that has confused many people. In the US if a marriage lasts longer than five years, then due to the no-fault, equal investment laws, even if it property was wholly owned by one partner, it still can become part of the community property of the marriage. So in that instance, both sections in question are correct. It is because of this that many people are now placing their homes that have been inherited, into a family trust, therefor excluding it from being community property. This is really bad in the South where if a man owns it before marriage it stays his no matter what, but if a woman owns it, then it automatically becomes community property as soon as they become married unless tied up in a family trust. And... even if the ownership is not in question the value still counts in any division of assets. So, the other party can claim the value if not the dwelling to get more money out of the deal, since they hold more assets in value if not money. It is unfortunate that Divorce has become a huge industry in the billions of dollars per year. In my life alone, I have lost over half a million dollars in money and assets due to divorce, and I wasn't the one cheating.

That says something about your writing skill. I was here for something wraunchy and I really liked it. So, your wife was spot on.... just don’t let her tone all of them down. 😉

A story that gives us real people we can care about & understand does not need an excess of erotic huffing & puffing to be interesting & enjoyable. A nice balance to establish the story, but not necessary to elaborate & turn it into a stroke story

One of the best stories I have read om this site and I have read a lot of them!! Thanks for sharing.

You do NOT need sex scenes in great Romance stories and this s a great story...

I really was loking for a sexualy titalating story but as I read it I was drawn deeper into each charactor and the titilating stuff wasn't of real importance well done !!

Family circle or readers digest.

I really enjoyed this story. One of the best i have read on this site

Chur bro awsum story

My first reading of your stories

Good news I enjoyed very much 4 stars

Bad news I am extremely tough on grading as teacher if possible I would give you 4.5

5 stars for me rare don't expect perfection but close to it

I will continue to read your stories

Only found minor things flaws? -i doubt others would agree - and they were minor so won't detail. Again good story

Galen sexual harnessed Kristen his personnel assistant into having sex with him or he would fire her! Kyle has a legal obligation to have Galen immediately charge and arrested but he doesn’t. Kyle was an idiot!

Said it all

My kind of story, hope you keep them coming. Your wife has good instincts...listen to her more often:-)

It is a fantastic story! Happy that you listened to your wife and made this story more about the romance.

I've always appreciated (actually "loved" is better) stories with more plot than sex. Sex is what brought me to LE but plot has kept me here. Thank you.

GREAT!!!!!!!!

Great story.

I couldn't say it any better than MartyMB already has.

Thanks for the story.

Good story but not great. Your grammar is good, and the pacing was relatively easy to follow. But it could have been a lot better.

The biggest problem of this story is there was no conflict. There was no antagonist, even though you had set up the ex husband to be a promising antagonist. Or perhaps one of Kyle’s scorned former-employees. Or even both. But… nothing. Once they left the story they were gone for good. There as no adversity for the characters. The most interesting parts of the story were when Kyle was firing someone, or when the main character caught her husband cheating at the beginning.

Secondly, things were just far too picture perfect. Kyle is just too “Prince Charming”. Oh he happens to be a patriot military man, and educated, and in strapping great shape, and has a great personality, and is highly intelligent, and is educated, and is filthy rich, and a great sense of humour, and a masculine commanding presence, and utter loyalty, and a great lay? Does he speak 6 languages and play 14 instruments as well?

Kyle is a complete “can-do-no-wrong” Mary Sue of A character.

Thirdly, the sex scenes were just… awful to be honest. Uninteresting , passionless, and forgetful.

Overall the cast of characters was very static, and the conflict of the plot was predictable and cliche.

Overall? 5.5/10.

Grammar, pacing, sentence structure were great, and a couple of interesting moments make it worth reading. But only once, and even then just barely.

Maybe dont take your wifes advice so much

Do Not listen to the commenters who said "more sex, more sex!!" and to ignore what your wife tells you about your writing!

In this specific case, wifey was exactly right, at least for this story...you got the whole thing just right! The pursuit was so cool, and she finally gave in to his desire for a date...which led to...yeah, we already know. (Where do babies come from??!!) 😈😵😨

Five **5** stars...and the reader who gave you a "5.5/10"....just ignore that (even tho' you so need some editing!)

Sometimes you get tired of someone that knits one sex act to another and another and another ... on and on till the end. Sometimes it's the story that is enjoyable. Of course ... with a little spice at the proper times. For this you get a "5". As they say, "there is something for everyone and everyone for something."

gotta agree w/anon about perhaps not listening so closely to wife

very well crafted story, very likable characters but sex pretty much 'meh'...easy 4 but not really 5

Didn’t realize there were so many literary genius out there. Certainly didn’t find any stories by your harshest critics. And never stop listening to your wife

Delightful! Sweet, like an elegant cherry tart. Yes, listen to that lady. She's there making you better. That's what the best ones do.

One of the best. Keep listening to your wife. I'm going to join mine in bed now. Au revoir.

Wonderful!

Excellent!! It could have been a little more descriptive and erotic, your wife is at least partially right. I would read more of your stories. Try a bit more editing for misspelled words. Thank you!

Damm good, I got so engrossed in the story I didn't notice the lack of eroticism, not did I miss it.....

Well done.