All Comments on 'Afternoon Daydreams Ch. 01: Birthday'

You have a way of capturing the mood in words so sexy

Hot little story. Glad to see you writing, although I hope this doesn't mean that you never get back to how Taylor pays for college. I liked how the narrator had to come out naked when everyone else was dressed, a nice little bit of humiliation. And the concept that she humiliated her roommate by allowing herself to be face-fucked - that was brilliant. Thanks for sharing this.

Gotta say--I haven't ever seen so much snark in a sex story before. Very enjoyable!

Though I liked your other story yet I missed Taylor Pays for College. Please continue it. Its one of the best story here.

Thank you all for commenting on this story. I am slowly working on the Taylor story. I have two more parts of this series coming up, then the next thing will be the fourth and possibly final chapter of Taylor Pays for College. Please feel free to contact me through the feedback section if you have ANY questions!

Soma

I dig smaller breasts.

Yes.

This captures a very nasty 3sum very well...very hot how the edge of humiliation tinged the triumph

I love personal stories!

I believe the characters! So natural. Thank you!

I like the way it starts with the suggestion that it might be a true story. That sets the reader wondering which bits might have actually happened.

I like the lack of detail in some places - for example he is not given a name, but he doesn't need one for the story. Similarly there is not much superfluous description of him or the girls.

The competitive aspect is quite a fun idea - I can give a better bj than you!

The bit where you describe waiting and wondering how it's going to work out is very erotic, as is the act itself.

Getting sucked off by two girls is a common male fantasy, but I like the way he is hesitant at first when it comes true - that seems realistic.

There is just one thing I don't like about the writing: the tense-jumping. You heard the car pull in ... You hear them come into the house... You heard about 45 seconds, and so on, switching between present and past all through the story.

Thank you very much for your thoughtful comment.

The issue with the tense jumping is very fair. I have had issues with that as I work very slowly. It usually takes me about 2-3 months from the time I start a story to publish it, and often work a little on this story and a little on this one, ect.

Going forward I am going to try and write all my stories in the past tense to hopefully fix this.

Great short story, here. Enough background to get a sense of motives for the main characters, but concise enough to not be a meandering path. A very "real" telling (or re-telling?) - simple, direct, hot, sometimes awkward, and with the understanding that kinky sex adventures aren't always a bed-of-roses fantasy.

I love these short, descriptive hot stories like this. Just enough!

Without doubt, I absolutely adored this story.

Let's address the elephant in the room quickly: it was hot. It was very hot. It was incredibly hot. What reader wouldn't find this hot?

Right.

I absolutely adored the competitiveness of the writing: the bitchiness that inspired the sexual dominance and contest of "M-". It was so fulfilling to read a story where the protagonist used her sexuality to out-perform a friend and rival. It is a hot fantasy (and reality) to add poison to the well of a relationship by leaving a part of yourself in the mix - in this case, sucking his cock and getting the first cumload when he orgasmed.

The writing is fresh and conveys the writer's POV without an assumed perspective; the scene and the narrative runs smoothly as a result, and allows the reader to concentrate on the content with more pleasure.

As other reviewers have mentioned, it feels like a short story, but it's actually over the size of an undergraduate essay. It *reads* well - that's the skill that I noticed in this. It's very easy to finish this in one sitting and - as I can testify - want more.

Fantastic writing.

Oh so good, nice change to read it from a female first person story, quite short but I do feel that this is the way it went for real.

Nicely written well described characters.

I read *Summer Afternoon Fun* and just had to immediately continue with this one. I would like to say that these are thoroughly thrilling as others have said as they are actual events. In my humble opinion these are beautifully descriptive and ever so delightful to read.

I thoroughly enjoyed this. The spiteful relationship with the roommate for a very exciting twist on what would outgrew have been a simple erotic story.

Nicely done.

Great story!! I always love to hear a blowjob explained and told through a woman's perspective. Very entertaining and well written! I will definitely go out and look at your other work.

Very engaging story. Sure made me hot. Love how confident you are in your blowjob skills.

Loved it, very erotic. I’m hooked, reading the rest of the series. Love the dry humor too.