All Comments on 'Agnus Dei'

Well written, and thoughtful. Emotional and tragic. I'm hooked.

Very Dark-- Great writing job.I can understand a little having a Catholic background. Too bad the heaviness that is put on us from childhood on.

This is absolutely very very well-written! My breath was simply taken away by the depth and the narrator's anguish was well described. Her indifference towards herself was certainly a good device to highlight the overwhelming feelings she had for Robert. This is really magnificent!

What a fitting title, and what a gripping story that would drive the reader to "do" some theology toward understanding "God", "Church", and the "Human Condition"! I thank you for challenging us to "do" such thinking in these pages, although I am sure that your efforts will not be appreciated by many of the readers and other writers.

One personal complaint arose from your using the word, Preacher, in connection with the Cup in one of the early paragraphs - clouding the story line slightly for the next few paragraphs. Considering the pastoral setting of the story, it would seem to me to flow much better using Priest or Father.

Nevertheless, I commend you for a very fine piece of writing.

Beautiful and moving - thank you.

Very well written, the feelings of an outcast were all there. Too bad how people can never come to accept those who fall.

Very well thought through and executed, gripping in style and plot development. For lack of a better word: brilliant, really.

However, like the many niche tragic incest tales that fill this site, I couldn't enjoy this, as you had intended for your reader to. It's still a very good story, just not one I would ever want to remember or read again.

A very well written story. Painful in the end.

Well written and nicely told.

My best wishes

Exceptional Writing.

so unbelievably sad. It was beautifully written as all your work is. Well done for an outstanding piece of writing!

I have followed Munachi's writings for a long time now and it's no suprise that she has done "it" again. "It" being another excellent piece of prose.

Very well written

It is no sin to experience love. It is a sin to outcast people that experience love. She was crushed for their iniquities; the punishment that brought them peace was upon her (Jes 53,5). Holy Jesus, what a story! It shouldn't happen again, after all we live in the age of enlightenment, but alas... Well done, Munachi!

i really liked reading your story. very well constructed. you write beautifully.

As always, munachi, you've woven a captivating and haunting tale. You've developed a wonderful narrative voice that immediately engages the reader, making the characters and situations real and heartwrenching. All I ask is that one day, promise that you will surprise us with a happy ending.

An excellent story, and as always, well written and different. My congratulations to you, and good luck in the contest.

Excellent story. Very well written. Haunting and evocative. BUT Robert should not be acting as if it were her sin alone at least with her. He should be protecting his sister. Since he took advantage of her anyway and is acting like an asshole would you write a story were he gets his just desserts?? Is he and his wife raising the child or someone in the village?? She should not carry this burden alone. Please.

RE:"AGNUS DEI" your story started good but you fucked it up at the end by having robert ignore and blame his sister for his sin the only way you can redeem yourself for this shitty story is to add a second chapter where robert admits his sin and accepts responsibility for it and his sisterand her baby but i know you don't have the brains to do that just like 90% of the writers on this site that also feel they don't have to finish thier stories

What an amazingly well written story. While I have truly enjoyed many well crafted, loving incest stories on this site, this author has written a beautiful piece of literature, demonstrating great skill and finesse.

Thank you, Munachi

Munachi, you did a superb job.

The anomalies of religion, as it is propagated, is superbly drawn by the author.

To hell with all the naysayers above, this is a typical situation that comes up so often when organized religion sets itself up as the only arbiter of decency or morality and all are expected to slavishly follow their narrow outlook.

I almost backed out in the first few sentences as I wonderewd where you were going. Once I clued in and I began to feel the love she felt for her brother, I was hooked.

The ending fit the context and was unpredictable given what everyone else on this site writes.

This is superb writing.

Interesting.

As an orthodox Catholic, I hear the "Agnus Dei" every Sunday. Indeed, our entire Mass is in Latin. And the reference here in your story is very poignant.

I am sad for Agnes. No way her Robert could rescue her? Mayhap 'twas all a dream? Hmmm...?

Please write some more about this.

This is good. I am guessing you are well educated but English is not your first language. Perhaps it is German? This story flows well. I should think that Agnes would have more insight into her condition by the end of the story. Perhaps there is an element of mental illness to account for that. Robert's marriage will not go well, I think. That is the power of sin. Ironic that the Agnus Dei tells them the solution to their problem, but they don't heed it. Keep writing and developing your story telling.

An interesting story by a superb writer. I don't remember one mistake in spelling or word usage though out the entire story. Very well done. Thank you.

The old guy

Monasteries are for men. Women go to Convents

Nice, but where's the rest?

No parent has named their daughter Agnes for a 100 years.

Well done, there is no way you could write a sequel to this submission.

There are not enough tears in the world to wash away the wrongs in this one.

A potent piece of prose. This is a tight and complete story. What a price she paid! I hope to see you back someday.