All Comments on 'Aidan and Katie Ch. 05'

Doesn't feel right or authentic the instant intense feelings between Jeannie and Katie

Your series has been excellent .Yes, this is erotic fiction, but I find your series to be very life like in the relationships. Thank you for sharing your talent.

Not going to talk your head off this time. Simply put. I am loving and having fun with this story. You are doing both sides of the spectrum and I'm loving it. Can't wait for the next one. I'm 100% hooked. :)

Very fine! I loved how Katie handled Chloe. She could have come on to the girl, but that would have distracted from the main story of Aidan, Elle and Katie... and now, Jeannie? CABONE writes so knowingly about lesbianism that I checked the bio, thinking ???, but maybe he has some other means of knowing about that life. 'Made it seem real. Nice job! 'Love how Katie wants to take things slowly with Jeannie, hoping for something lasting; but, at the same time is tempted to surrender to the growing lust. It's not clear if Jeannie has Katie's maturity in this. 'Hope she doesn't blow it, but that's the chanciness of life. What's around the blind curve? Where does the fork lead?

With anonymous there, the instant connection between Katie and Jeanne looks forced at best, you jumped to fast in it. Lets see what next part is going to bring

Add my voice to those unsure about the relationship between Katie & Jeannie. After the split, Katie HATED Jeannie. Now, immediately after Jeannie shows up, Katie is in love with LOVE with her?

Is Katie really that desperate and is Jeannie really that pathetic?

Katie did a great job with Chloe. It showed her maturity. When she didn't slam the door in Jeannie's face I was surprised, but then realized it was the mature thing to do. If it hadn't been for the arc with Chloe it might have been out of character, but it now seemed plausible. Jeannie has always been 'looked' after, her parents, Aidan and then Karli. Despite the responsibilities of her job in her personal life she never was a strong, confident person. She was always a follower. She let Karli convince her to leave Aidan. How will things turn out, ???? Who knows at this point. Jeannie can mature and be on her own. She could become lovers with Katie at which point Katie will tell Jeannie about her, Elle and Aidan. Might this cause a split or all five in bed together? Only time will tell. I can't wait to find out.

While I have really enjoyed reading these stories of Aidan and Katie, the last two have felt odd with how you have portrayed anger. Perhaps you are the type of person that doesn't carry a grudge or doesn't want to create friction in life and so that's how you handle things, but it comes off feeling unrealistic in the story.

In the first few chapters you handled it realistically, the anger Aidan felt to his wife who had broken his heart, how Katie felt about her, how Elle felt when she found out. All of their reactions were how people would feel in real life and that added a depth to the story.

Then it changed, the conflicts happen, but are almost immediately put aside such as Big Dick going to threatening to beat up someone to aw shuck ma'am, you done good straightening out my kid in mere moments. And the entire Jeannie arc just leaves me thinking nobody is that forgiving, let alone Aiden, Katie, Elle, Mike and Maggie.

I wouldn't normally bother to comment on things like this, but I really do enjoy your writing style and I hope you don't mind just a little constructive criticism.

I get the last posters point of view totally and it is more realistic... However honestly I really don't mind limiting conflict and confrontation in stories to some degree, especially if thats not what I'm there for. To me it churns my stomach and detracts from my enjoyment. ...I suppose an analagy would be me watching NCIS with my wife, sure there is lots of conflict, drama etc, and I enjoy it, but I flat out hate episodes that they occasionally throw out putting the staff in eminent danger (kidnapped, burried alive, etc). Its story fodder, but honestly not what Im there for and I dont enjoy it. Sometimes Ill quit watching and go do something else.

Same applies in stories here for me, I like a good plot, but Im not looking for a soap opera drama and a bunch of angst and conflict. Use it enough to move the plot along and get to the more important/enjoyable bits. :)

Love the story!

I wanted to wait to comment until the end of the series, but the turn the last two chapters took was a bit, well, weird. The first few chapters were incredible - well written, believable and really engaging. However, Aidan started to piss me off. He seems to be a whiny, manipulative ass. He slightly redeemed himself waiting for Elle, but before that, his constant whining about the parents and his pouting crap were juvenile at best. If you wrote this intending Aidan to go through an unintentional regression of maturity to cope with his feelings, then that could be acceptable. Otherwise, he was just a shallow character.

My comments on the women - Elle, Katie and Jeannie - are much more critical. Each one of them seem way too sensitive and insecure. It was as if every small thing brought them to tears and made them seem like they were ready to go off themselves in a corner. I did not find them to be attractive or desirable in that sense.

Then, chapter 5 seemed to redeem and revitalize the worst aspects of the characters. Katie became more real, but I have to agree with others on the interactions with Jeannie. It seemed way too sudden. Unless, of course, Katie had been attracted to Jeannie even during Aidan's marriage, and Jeannie is merely immature at best, so afraid of being alone she latches on to the first thing to show kindness. Again, makes Jeannie a very shallow character and extremely easy to detest and forget.

Otherwise, great job. You've made it possible to even discuss and analyze characters and events, which ultimately is a testament to your abilities as an author.

Katie and Jeannie is an unexpected development, a real twist in the plot.

I liked the story when it was Aiden and Katie, but it has moved so far away from that, but I'm still undecided whether I'm enjoying get it or not any more.

I will read to the end, but I'm not enjoying this as much as I did the earlier chapters.

I was liking the story until you brought Jeannie back and put her with Katie. Some may like it. But, I don't and find it difficult to grasp that Katie would go from hating to feeling something for Jeannie in the span of hours. Also, I despise cheaters and wish nothing but the worse for them. You're the author and it's your story. Just saying that you lost me at this chapter. Good luck on any future stories.