Aiming to Please

Mandy loved them, but it was a lot cheaper to wear a tee-shirt and coat outside. Besides, until lately, fashion hadn't been much of a concern to her. Since her dad moved out when she was 14, she'd had to try and care for her mom and keep her grades up. All through high school, she'd endured comment after comment about how pretty she'd be if she just tried a little bit. Some nice clothes, a little makeup, a new haircut, etc., and she'd be beautiful. Those things cost money and money was something the Allens didn't have. As a result, she only dated sporadically and she'd never really had a steady boyfriend.

It wasn't until the end of her senior year when a cute new guy named Mark asked her out for a second and then a third date that she'd finally lost her virginity. They had sex three other times after that before he left town as mysteriously as he'd shown up. Mandy knew he'd been in foster care most of his life, but she couldn't imagine he could leave without so much as saying goodbye.

After the first time, she'd enjoyed making love and she often fantasized about those last two times with Mark. And then she met Ethan who was now the center of all her fantasies and the man she dreamed of whenever she touched herself...down there. Just the thought of him making love to her was enough to make her wish she'd worn a pad to absorb the copious amounts of wetness that emerged from her pussy.

As she tried on a dozen different sweaters, she carefully selected the two she thought would be the most attractive to the man she loved. She found two skirts, as well, but because of money constraints, she settled for one pair of black heels that would go with everything. She choose a very pretty, very soft, iced-pink colored sweater with long sleeves and a deep jewel neck. Mandy was blessed with her mother's full C-cup breasts and this top would show them off beautifully. She also picked out one in winter white that had a rib-knit look to it like the one Connie wore. It had a square neckline that wouldn't show much cleavage, but it would show a lot of her bare chest above her soft, ample mounds. The skirts were black and tan and although they were short, they were still modest enough to wear in front of Breanna. Pleased with her choices, she paid the cashier and headed back to the Davis residence.

After taking care of her chores, she changed into her new pink sweater and black skirt, then went to pick up Breanna. She'd always done her hair and makeup as long as she'd worked for Dr. Davis so that was a given. She just hoped this was his style and that he'd finally notice her as something other than his nanny.

As she inched along in parent pickup, she spotted the little girl she so dearly hoped would one day be hers. When Breanna saw Mandy, she waved excitedly as the teacher's aid opened the door to let her in. "Hi, Mandy!" she said. Breanna looked over and her and said, "You changed clothes. You look pretty. Just like a princess." Then she reached into her backpack and pulled out a picture she'd colored. "This is for you," she said proudly.

Mandy took a quick look at it and saw a stick figure with long hair reading to a smaller stick figure with long hair in bed. "Is that me reading to you?" she said choking back tears.

"Uh-huh. I drew you 'cuz I love you soooo much!" she said without looking at her. Children spoke from the heart and didn't need confirmation when they shared feelings.

Mandy couldn't help it. She reached over and ran her hand through Breanna's hair and said, "I love you soooo much too, sweetheart."

"I want you to be my new mommy," she said matter-of-factly.

"So do I," Mandy said very quietly as she pulled out onto the road in front of the school. "So do I."

Food wasn't Ethan Davis's thing but he did love roast chicken the way his mother had made it as he was growing up. Mandy'd learned this early on and she'd made it for him several times. Each time, he'd complimented on it and tonight she wanted everything to be perfect. She went to the wine cellar and picked out a bottle of the chardonnay he always drank with it and got everything ready for him to come home. While he was often late he'd called tonight and let her know he'd there around 7:30.

At 7:45, Mandy heard the door open, then close, followed by the familiar sound of him setting his keys and wallet on the sideboard near the front door. She took a deep breath as she went to say hello.

He was halfway across the living room when he saw her. Unlike most nights when he just smiled and asked how her day was, this time he stopped dead in his tracks and said, "Wow! Look at you. Is this your new look for the lucky guy?" he asked smiling broadly.

"I hope so," she said rather timidly.

"Do you have a date later tonight?" he asked. Immediately he said, "Sorry. That's none of my business. What you do on your time is your business and I apologize."

"No, that's okay," she told him. "I don't mind you asking. I like when you take an interest in my life." She felt blood rising to her cheeks when she said that because she'd opened herself up to him even if he didn't know it.

"Well I am interested in your life, Mandy. You're our nanny and you're very important to us."

Mandy refused to let his lack of further interest derail her. She was encouraged when he walked by and said, "You really do look beautiful, by the way. That is a very flattering look on you." Before she could respond he said, "Do I smell your roast chicken?"

"Yes, you do!" she told him. "Are you hungry?"

"Are you kidding?" he replied. "Let me wash up and I'll be right in."

Mandy called for Breanna to wash up for dinner, too, and to come downstairs. Minutes later, she came bounding down the stairs clutching the drawing she'd shown Mandy that morning at school.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" she called out. "I missed you today. Look what I made!" she announced proudly.

Ethan looked at it very ceremoniously and told her it was beautiful. "Do you know who that is?" she asked.

"No, I don't. Tell me who that is," he said in a voice that was filled with interest.

"It's me and my new mommy!" she told him.

"Your new mommy? That's amazing, honey. Um...who's your new mommy?" he asked her.

Breanna raised her hand and pointed at Mandy. "Right there. I want her to be my new mommy. Okay, Daddy?"

Ethan smiled and said, "Well, Mandy certainly does love you, honey."

"And I love her, too. Do you love her, Daddy? Can you please marry her so I can have a mommy again? Isn't she pretty, Daddy?"

Ethan looked at Mandy who was positively beaming before he looked back at his daughter. "Yes, she is very pretty, honey." He looked at Mandy who mouthed the words 'thank you' as she continued to smile. "But Mandy isn't your mommy, sweetheart. She's your nanny."

Unaware of Mandy's feelings, he was more than a little surprised when he looked up and saw that Mandy's smile had disappeared. He didn't want to stare but he was pretty sure he could see tears welling up in her eyes. Before he could find out, Mandy said she wasn't really very hungry and excused herself.

She walked as quickly as she could to the bathroom she used, shut the door, sat down on the edge of the tub, and let herself cry. She couldn't help it and she couldn't stop it. Several minutes later, she'd finally gotten control of herself when she heard Ethan's voice. "Mandy? Are you okay? Is everything all right?"

She cleared her throat, took a deep breath and said, "Um, yeah. I'm fine. I'll be right out." She cleaned off the mascara that had run, washed her face, and dried off. She took several more deep breaths then walked out.

Ethan was there waiting for her and said, "Did something I say upset you?"

"No, not at all. Why do you ask?" she said trying to hide her hurt.

"I don't know. You seemed like you were in such a good mood and then all of a sudden you got up to leave and..."

"I'm fine. I promise," she lied. "I'll go put things away and get Breanna ready for bed."

She came back downstairs to let him know Breanna wanted him to read to her. The house was huge and she wandered around until she heard his voice coming from the study. She walked toward it then stopped just outside when she heard him say, "No, I'm not gonna see Connie again." There was a pause then she heard him say, "She said she's going to quit smoking and that's a deal breaker for me." Pause. "I would never ask a woman not to quit, but you know I won't date a woman who doesn't smoke. Period." Pause. "I don't really care about that, Paul. Smoking is legal and if a woman wants to smoke, that's her choice. Abigail started smoking after I told her how sexy I thought it was and I can tell you this. I would never, ever marry a woman who didn't like to smoke. So why would I date someone I have no interest in marrying?" Pause. "I'm not into one-night stands or hook ups or whatever they're called now. I have a daughter and I want to find another wife. Someone like Abigail...if someone like that exists."

Finally, it all made sense! All the pieces of the puzzle instantly fit together at that moment. It wasn't that she wasn't pretty enough. It wasn't that he wasn't attracted to her. It was just that the one thing he seemed to want most was something that was missing. What had he called it? Oh, right. A deal breaker.

Mandy had been on Cloud 9 before hearing Ethan's reply to Breanna. Since then, she'd been sadder and more miserable than she could ever remember. She felt like this was hopeless. And now suddenly, she was not only hopeful, she was excited. She now knew exactly what Ethan was looking for and she was bound and determined to provide it.

She waited for him to finish talking to this Paul person before pretending like she'd just walked up. "Dr. Davis? Breanna would like you to read to her tonight if you don't mind?"

"Oh, okay. Thanks, Mandy. I'll be right there."

That night, Mandy lay in bed dreaming of that first kiss with Ethan. She knew she was going to have to make some very big changes in her life to reach her goal, but she was well aware that 'nothing ventured, nothing gained' was all too true. As she massaged her wet clit, she moaned loudly as she imagined his big, hard cock sliding inside of her soaking wet pussy. "Oh, God. Fuck me, Ethan!" she whimpered as she shuddered and came so hard it scared her.

Mandy had tried smoking twice her sophomore year when a friend who'd started smoking asked her to try it. Her memories of the first time where horrible. The smell was disgusting and it tasted awful. She'd burned her throat trying to inhale directly without pausing to hold the smoke in her mouth briefly. That was followed by a coughing fit and her putting it out. Two weeks later, her friend convinced her to try it again. This time, she showed her how to inhale and encouraged her to take a very small amount in her mouth and hold it before inhaling. Mandy was actually afraid when she took a small draw thinking it would burn again. She held it for a couple of seconds and her friend said, "Go ahead, inhale it."

Mandy did so and this time, it didn't burn. It made her throat feel tight, but it wasn't anything like that first attempt. As she was inhaling, she felt a pleasant tingle at the back of her neck. After she exhaled, she smiled and told her friend what had happened. "That's the nicotine rush. It's a really nice buzz, huh?" she explained.

"I guess so," Mandy said. She took two more puffs being thinking it was just too strong. Her friend tried several more times to get her to smoke with her, but Mandy had no desire to so she politely refused.

Now she had every desire to do so, but she didn't know anything about smoking. She snuck another look at the picture of Abigail in the study when Ethan was at work the next day and she was able to make out part of a word near the filter. She could read, "...inia Slims Menthol Li..."

She drove to a convenience store before picking up Breanna and looked at the various packs. "What'll it be, hon?" the grumpy old woman behind the counter said.

"Um...I'm not sure," she told her.

"You changin' brands or something?" she asked gruffly. "What've you been smoking, honey?" The old woman looked her over and said, "You look like one of those delicate things. Here, try these. They should be girly enough for you."

She looked at the pack which said Virginia Slims Menthol Lights. Those must be the ones Abigail smoked. "Um, sure. I'll take those," she said.

"Five ninety-five," the woman demanded.

"Six dollars for a pack of cigarettes?" Mandy said with incredulity.

"No, $5.95," the woman repeated.

"Sheesh," she said as she plunked down a five and a one. "Good thing Ethan is a rich doctor," she said under her breath.

"Who's a doctor?" the woman said loudly.

"Sorry. Just talking to myself." As she got ready to leave, she realized she didn't own a lighter. "Shit!" she said to herself. "I need one of these, too." Mandy paid for the lighter, stuffed it and the cigarettes in her purse, then went to pick up Breanna.

Mandy's plan had two parts. The first was to spend whatever extra money she had on new clothes that would catch Ethan's attention. The second was to give him 30 days to ask her out from the time she put her plan into action. She would need some time to relearn or in this case it was probably more accurate to say 'learn' to smoke well enough that she could do so in front of him comfortably.

It was almost three weeks before Mandy felt confident enough to test out her new theory. Privately, she'd progressed to the point where she could finish a cigarette down to the letters without too much difficulty. She still didn't like smoking let alone enjoy it, but if this was what it took to get his attention, then she would learn to enjoy it. Besides, she knew that after a month of smoking a few cigarettes a day, she could stop whenever she wanted to if it didn't have the desired results. In fact, she would not only stop smoking, she would give her two-weeks notice if the 30-day trial didn't bear fruit.

She wore the off-white sweater and tan-colored skirt with her heels that day and after putting Breanna to bed, she found Ethan in the study. She stood at the door and waited for him to look up. "Oh, hi Mandy. Do you wanna come in?" he asked.

Her heart was beating out of her chest when she told him, "Oh, no thanks. I just wanted to let you know I was going to go outside and have a cigarette. I've been really stressed out lately. I just wanted to make sure you knew where I was."

Ethan dropped the pen he was writing with, sat back in his chair, and looked directly at her. "I had no idea you smoke, Mandy."

"I just never mentioned it before. You know, with you being a doctor and all...and with Breanna...I was sure you'd disapprove. Even after Connie went outside to smoke that one day, I still didn't feel comfortable telling you."

Ethan stood up and stepped out of the study. He stood next to her and said, "I can't imagine how hard it's been going all day without a cigarette. Mandy, anytime you want to go outside to smoke, please, by all means, do so."

"Thank you, Dr. Davis. I was so worried you might be upset with me," she said hiding her true motivations.

"No, not all, Mandy. And please, call me Ethan. My God, you've been here for close to fifteen months now, so I don't see any reason to be so formal."

"Well, thank you...Ethan. I'm just gonna grab my coat, okay?"

"Hold on! I was thinking about having a glass of wine. Would you care to have one with me?" he asked with more enthusiasm than Mandy could ever recall.

"That would be so nice! Yes, thank you, Ethan. I'd love one." Mandy smiled as the man she loved went to pour them a glass.

He met her near the sliding glass door and said handed her a glass of merlot. "Shall we?" he said as he opened it for her.

"It's chilly out here," she said.

"Abigail always said a cigarette tasted better when it was cold outside. Do you think that's true?" he asked.

Mandy had no idea whatsoever but said authoritatively, "Oh, definitely." She removed the pack and lighter from her coat pocket and noticed there were about five left. It had taken her that long to get through the first 15. The first five or so had been awful but still not as terrible as her first experience in high school. She could only take two or three puffs before putting it out. Each day she tried to take one additional puff knowing she'd have to be able to finish one if she had any hope of convincing Ethan she was even a light smoker.

He picked up her lighter and said, "Oh, please. Allow me."

Mandy tilted her head down and touched the end to the flame and took a small drag, held it in her mouth, then inhaled. "Not bad," she thought to herself. The last three days, she'd managed to get almost down to the letters before it got so strong she couldn't stand it. She exhaled a small stream and said, "That's nice."

She could tell Ethan wanted to stare while trying to pretend he wasn't. Mandy was certain she'd found the missing link. She knew he loved her outfit as he'd complimented her on it again when he first saw her. But she'd never seen him this attentive before. Mandy took a deeper drag, opened her mouth ever so slightly, then pulled the smoke in quickly. As she exhaled she said, "God, I really needed a cigarette." Ethan smiled politely but didn't comment.

She and Ethan sat quietly sipping their wine as Mandy continued to smoke. She loved the way Ethan was doing his best not to stare while making sure not to miss a single second of the show she was putting one. She forced herself to take one additional drag at the letters and regretted it. She didn't cough, but it tasted awful. It was worse than the first few puffs of those first five cigarettes. "It's an investment," she told herself as she exhaled a long blue plume of smoke before putting it out.

After that, Mandy noticed that Ethan was home by 7 o'clock every evening lately. That was very unusual as he often got home closer to 9pm if he came home at all. And just as she had hoped, he did indeed go outside with her every time she told him she was going out to smoke. In fact, there were times when she didn't say anything just to see if he would follow her. The first time, he didn't say anything when he noticed she was outside. He just opened the back door and sat down with her. The second time, he told her she needed to make sure he knew where she was. He wasn't upset at all, he assured her. It was, you know, in case Breanna needed her. She didn't tell him that he was home and inside with her and could tend to any emergency better than she could. She just inhaled as deeply as she could then said as she exhaled, "Oh, of course. I'll make sure to let you know every time from now on. Sometimes I just need cigarette so bad I can't stand to wait any longer." He told her he certainly understood and that it really wasn't a big deal. He was just being a good parent.

After the third week, Mandy began to get very concerned. Ethan had been unable to keep his eyes off when she smoked and he had complimented her on her new clothes every time she wore them. What bothered her was he hadn't done anything to make her think he was looking at her differently. As far as she could tell, he still saw her as Breanna's nanny and nothing more.

She had seven days left in her experiment, and she told herself to stay positive, to be extra friendly, extra helpful, and always be pleasant. She was also making an effort to present herself as more sophisticated without being pretentious even though she wasn't sure that was helping, either.

With just six days to go, they were out on the patio when Ethan said, "Mandy? I've been thinking about taking a few days off."

Mandy was in the middle of a very deep inhale. She raised her eyebrows, drew in the smoke, then said, "That's a surprise. I don't think you've had two days off in a row as long as I've been here, Ethan. Is everything okay?"