by Dale Jane Henparty
Interesting writing style, kind of sparse, maybe like the wilderness it was set in. A minor comment about the .45 as a sidearm. Totally inadequate for Alaska bears. A .44 magnum with .300 grain bear loads is marginal at best for a Grizzly and there are more potent pistol calibers, none of which are fun to shoot.
Although a very nice story and full of detailS, I was disappointed that there was NO romance. Tina and Dane had sex on the trip but what brought Dale and Dane together?
Lots of details, but I got the feeling that the author spoke from stuff he'd seen on TV or read in magazines - much of it didn't feel right.
For a hunting story there was precious little about the firearms - make, model, caliber, weight of bullet and powder charge.
Dane dropped her rifle in the water. The protagonist said nothing about her scope being damaged - didn't seem to occur to him that it was lucky it was - only iron sights - of course, mounting a scope in the field without a bench and vise would be tricky, and in any case you'd have to zero it - a couple of hours project when you'd rather be hunting
The 45 caliber pistol is nonsense - legend has it that an old sourdough saw the 357 some cheechako was carrying for "bear protection" and advised him to file off the front sight, so it won't hurt so much when the bear shoves it up your ass Bear spray is what you'd want in your tent or around camp If you still think you need a bear gun in addition to you rifle the short barreled pump 12 gauge with 00 buckshot is the way to go
And most of all - the author needs to do a lot of work on his dialogue - people simply don't talk that way