by My Erotic Tale
My,
The premise was good, but I was very distracted by the problems in the basic mechanics of writing. Mechanics in prose are much more strict than in poetry; find a volunteer editor if you need to, but give this a tuneup.
cute idea, but you ran through all the details - it was more like a cute joke with a sex scene just happening to be there.. dude make it more inticing and lustfull, comeone
Delightful and to those higher up - give it up you pickus pickus - the sky didn't fall. Good stuff author.
Green eggies and whot?
Problems aside, I love this! It's very droll and witty, and it tickled my funny bone :D I think it's quite a bold way to write on an erotic board(or anywhere), so I give you kudos!
"Little Davie Dingus, was in his room playing with his penis." That has to be one of the most memorable opening lines in the history of English literatrue. Thanks, ET.
Rumple
LOOK OUT!! They're really here!
too funny good job! ;)
kisses,
T
It was nice to actually smile while reading a srory at Lit. It kind of cut the heavy lust haze for a moment. Cute and refreshing, reminded me of the dirty little rymes we used to chant on the playground, thinking we were so bad. Now... back to the grind. Thanks, keep writing!
Read the opening line and thought, "What the hell am I in for here?" LOL. Some of the rhyming bordered on being obnoxious, but I loved the story. Very well done, love, very well done indeed. Kisses! ~Minx
Thanks for the light-hearted romp through the universe, via the dimension of science fiction. A dimension that is rarely seen in these parts, but it was applied in a clever tale that leaves me with a silly grin on my face.
In addition to my goofy smile, I was also able to walk away from this story having learned a potentially useful lesson. That lesson being that when the aliens, (the extra-terrestrial ones, not the illegal kind), do indeed land at the White House, you can either hurl yourself off of a busy interstate overpass into the oncoming traffic or you can start copulating like crazy with any and everyone that you come into contact with. I know which one of these options I'll be choosing. After all, I can't stand the interstates as the traffic around here really does bite the big one.
Thanks again for your clever story which definitely breaks the cookie cutter mold that creates far too many of these stories.
wannabe writer typical trash for this site not good total waste of time and space
Stupid plot, too short of a story, and too many details on aliens not enough on sex. what does the mom look like...the dad...you dont even describe what the two main characters look like
Really like we all come here to read shitty written poems
I busted a gut reading this. You have a wonderful sense of humor. Thanks.