All Comments on 'Alisha: A dark Romance Ch. 02'

Wish they were longer :). A bit of feedback: first the piano player and now model. Both were preceeded by famous actress weekend story. I am big fan, requesting normal people in your next story. Again, well done amd look forward to the remaining three chapters.

Sleazy hangers on , petulant prima dona photogs, the invisible wedge inexorably driven between the once ' forever ' couple, the humiliation of slap when narrator tries t to affirm his role as the " golden girl's" man, the abrupt, decisive exit strategy , book manifestation and nautical details. How the hell did author compress this into 3 pages ?

Full marks * * * * * *

But lacks credibility in key spots. The handling of meeting the daughter he doesnt know existed for 13 yrs, just doesnt ring true. Then Ali keeps making same mistake, and he is like aboetulant child complaining about lack of attention.

That said, was entertaining enough to get me to read entire story on SOL.

But I am not a fan of stories where the couple is brought back together through the child the man never knew he had, not when the woman treats the man so shabbily. Even when Randi writes it.

This reminds me of a story by Denham_Forrest, "The Price of Fame", because in that story, too, the man achieved success as a writer after they separated, which occurred at the time she was gaining fame as a model. That story I liked. There was no child involved.

''You might as well go, I'm not going back to hotel with you tonight''

After having slapped him, then returning to cuddle up to actor who had been groping her.

She announced to everyone in room, that she was informing husband her intent to bed actor.

Not worth going to jail?

Wait by elevator bank-step in with her and actor-leave actor with something other than smirk on face-take rings off her finger

He physically assaulted others in group by bending fingers just the day before. Why the change. Then after leaving her and going home why would he call her, allowing her to take another shot-seemed to me that author lost his character's character for a few paragraphs

The potential for high drama, FOR THE READER, is over and it was all lost in the first few paragraphs of the last chapter. Now it is time for 'the rest of the story' which, unlike Paul Harvey, is unlikely to have a twist, though it might have a reprise of James and Ryan. But I am hopeful.

The second dramatic circumstance was HOW she 'cheated' and here you went low key in comparison to your last story. Yes a public bit of disrespect but foreseeable.

Her transition was...abrupt. One day prior, she was 'you keep me grounded' and then it is 'fuck off and die'. Hmm! It did not hit me hard because see first few paragraphs of chapter one.

Is there a twist somewhere? A bit of cleverness? Maybe. But your 'selling point' is emotional engagement and I am not. But I read too many of these things. Plus the Contrivance is strong in this story. Just like the last story, the refusal to hear anything about the ex is supposed to establish drama. It did last story. She was frantically looking for hubby AND she was preggers. WE DID NOT KNOW THIS. Here? See chapter one. Between your intro and that nugget, the only thing left to enjoy is the scenery on the way to the waterfall. You exposed too much.

Editing errors. You used auto-correct and a lazy eye. First rate writing otherwise.

Thank you for writing the only story worth reading today and I despite my negatives, I am awaiting the next chapter.

That repeated tag line fits not this tale.

Love, if it was ever reciprocated(which I do not believe was true) was not lost. Love was casually and callously destroyed then cast aside-or was it cast aside then destroyed-no matter the supposed love was never lost.

From beginning he KNOWS she will one day trade him in for someone better.

Means he never trusted her! Ever! Love then had nothing to do with relationship or marriage.

Apparent to me from beginning, she knew she needed his photographic talent to create the covergirl career she obscenely lusted for. Acting career she could have without him-runway model career-no need of him.

Ah but high-fashion covergirl she needed him to get her ''face'' ''out there''

At best he was infatuated with her and he was tool for her

Her name inexplicably escapes me for moment. Discovered in her mid to late 30s housewife is first ''risque'' SI cover for swimsuit issue. White one piece damp to edge of being wet clearly shows nipples and almost but not quite fullness of mature woman's full breasts.

The poster adorned dorm walls, including mine, across all of America.

Her naivete in Carson interview showed her to be very attractive loving and faithful housewife stunned by her meteoric fame. She adored husband-15years?? married and figured she would soon be small town housewife again. She looked forward to return to normalcy. He was proud of her, trusted her, she loved him and children and the regular life they lived.

Only few years later, her bright light adultery with photographer played out in the bright lights for America to witness. From beautiful loving wife next door to unremorseful cheat abandoning, not just husband, but children.

I to was naive. Had ''pillarized'' her. Epitome of womanhood. Went to ''my treasures'' chest. Took out the two copies of swimsuit issue. The poster that hung on dorm room wall...the copy still in cellophane wrap...into garbage burn barrel-still legal then-struck match and walked away while last of innocence burned.

Name just came to me Cheryl Tiegs

Since all five parts are written and edited, why not post them all together? They're all up on the other site!

I fucking hate Alisha!

Good job!

Calling her first lover...who bedded her for years before six year marriage a ''friend'' same as the actors and royals indicates, while apparently still married her definition of friend meant benefits implicit in that term.

It would have been nice to publish everything. its Like a bandage, it’s better to pull of the entire thing quickly to minimize the pain.

but there are no characters with whom I want to spend any more time. Three more installments of Alisha hold no attraction for me at all.

The writing is very good.

We will have words in three days, good, bad and very very ugly.

Your stories are all the same some guy marries a woman she says she's in love then she dumps him so she can f*** other guys supposedly move on with her career but all she want to move on is it somebody else in her pussy you dump her and then you're going to kiss her ass and take her whoring ass back same old bullshit LOL some guys like kissing woman's ass though

really like your story keep it going despite those comments that are negative

This story reminds me of the Hallmark movies on TV that my wife loves to watch. That is not a criticism, it is an observation. A well written and enjoyable story.

Have enjoyed reading it but it would have been nice to get it all at once. What’s the other site?

Good writing, good story but why can't you guys ever finish a story before you submit it? I would never buy half a book because I don't like reading half a story. This is usually where the internet gives you pop ups and try selling an advertisement, They at least continue the story to the end. Your good, so don't put out your stuff like a half wit. I would, based on your talent, buy something you wrote in paperback but not half a book. I'm waiting for the finish and I'd you HAVE a full paperback book I will buy it.

@stonewall The story is compleated and will be published daily. This is a case of damned if I do and damned if I don’t. If I’d posted it in one piece, I would have got numerous complaints that it was too long as I have in the past. This time I decided to split it into five parts and post them one day apart. Again I can’t win.

***********

For those of you who don’t like the story - that fine, I didnt write it for you. I write for my own enjoyment and I write the type of story I like. If you think you can do better, please be my guest and write your own story.

AHM

I rarely comment, but i have to thank you. It is a pleasure to read a story that presents relatable people in situations that mhttps://tags.literotica.com/boatanifest true emotions. So much better than "i cam home early and found my wife rutting in my bed stories. Also, it is not necessary to include gratuitous sex descriptions. One can easily find stroke stories elsewhere; please don't sully your story. Looking forward to the rest of the story. Thank you for a pleasant diversion. Samson

Keep up the good work!

Starting to like it. A lot.

Thanks Andyhm

An excellent and compelling story thus far. I'm very much looking forward to the next chapters.

Dude, fleeing to France maybe works in some crappy victorian novel. This is just...

If the story is "shit," then why are you going to the next chapter? Sounds like the only "shit" around is you.

If the author does. Reunification

This gambit has been played atleast 3 times by other writers. SS/DD.

"Please don't hate me; I couldn't bear it." - Then stop acting like a stupid cunt! "James insisted"? Tell James to fuck off if he doesn't want to lose his balls!

"Christ, I had no idea; they were friends of James." - And James has shown himself to be SUCH a good reference!

At the parties, if she wouldn't stay with me, I would have gone after her!

I suppose we'll find out soon, but how could she have been pregnant with his daughter? Wasn't she working for more than nine months after he split?

Two young people meet, date, marry, fight, separate, he breaks off all contact, parents and friends try get them back together, he says never.

While they are few, the typos are jarring. I'd recommend finding an editor to clear those occasional things up. Also, the trope of the protagonists own parents thinking he was at fault, seems to be a constant trope in LW. Yes, it happens. But just once, I'd like to see the parents of the party cheated on go fully to bat for their son (or daughter).

Much better than the first installment.

His character was developed a bit, without dwelling too much in the 'land of mush', which I appreciated. It is patently obvious that he was hurt and it took time to recover, enough said.

Obviously too, there will have to be a clearing of the air as we have to endure her story... gag me with a spoon... it is just too predictable.

His book, everything, seems a little too easy really, but it is still a decent plot devise to use as a way for him to recover his equilibrium. The only thing wrong is that he seems to have devalued his passion for photography, which is either an oversight or a suggestion that he AND his photography (his PASSION) were both impacted.

Fabulous!

Enough said. On to chapter 3.

Hooked

This follows the classic “wife goes astray, husband goes on walkabout” format, which probably almost never happens but is so viscerally satisfying. Men everywhere seem to have this deep-seated impulse, it seems. Feels so good in the abstract! This version was well presented, and beyond the snubbing and betrayal at the party, the fact that she blew him off and stayed on the road sealed the deal seven ways to Sunday. I suspect when we hear from her she might have some well-rehearsed explanation, but he wasn’t just throwing an immature hissy fit. Odd that his parents would blow it so bad with him, though. Reading on!

I agree with onethird about a relationship breaking up and wanting to go on a wlakabout. MOst of us have too many ties to an area, a job and other family members to worry about. My personal break was a bit like this story, no not all the glamour and shoots and her fame more important than her relationship. Mine was because of age and selfishness. I got old and tired and bald in my 30s by 40 I was worn out. The woman in my life was still in her mid 30s. She was still pretty and I assume wanted be wanted. The marriage vows didn't mean much to her so she left looking for greener pasturse ans someone with hair. I didn't matter and neither did our young daughters. End of story. Marriage is a promise and a commitment, you either beleive in it or you don't. I did and she didn't. Good story, I can't really see any reconciliation here as it's quite plane that Ali was all about Ali, there was no room for anyone else. Will she or can she change? Depends on our author I guess. 5 stars

I don't really believe people change that much over years, especially in the case of his wife here. The lure of becoming famous and all that. A person may become a bit wiser and even more philosophical about things, but their basic personality stays the same. She destroyed the love and trust between them by her un-thoughtful actions. She was just a bitch in heat amongst a den of wolves and her husband was her protector. She threw him away and that killed the love he had for her and he had to get away because he could not watch her as fell into the abys that she seemed to welcome. There is no way the kind of love they had could ever be the same regardless the appearance of a n unkown daughter. Just my thoughts but what do I know, I'm only 80 and been through somthing like that 40 years ago.

3* I knew the soul finding journey was coming. But it wad corny as fu*k. He acts like a Highschooler wanting to run away anytime they argue with their parents or gf. Its not realistic at all.

Idk if authors project their fear of confrontation, but nowadays the walkabout husbands is so popular in this genre I figure that cant be it. If their were these many husbands that runaway before and after infidelit. The economy would crash surely.

Wow. MC was immature. Sure Ali had fucked up priorities and was selfish, but he just runs away from his entire family? Wtf? What age is he? 15? Sure it what really bad what she said, and I get him leaving the Caribbbean, and going home. But then he finds out she is gone another 2 weeks, he flips out and other than an angry voice-mail reply. Then he just bolts, burns his parents and rest of his family, and flees? Meanwhile it is obvious (to the reader) she took a break for giving birth to her (their) daughter. She is never able to find him? Yes will see more of the story as it unfolds but the MC is not a super spy or in the witness protection program. Some private investigators could easily find Pete and Sophie and then go from there. If there are suspicions that Ali is the Alison in the book, PIs could investigate the corporate side and the money trail. But really he just ran and took his ball with him. No confrontation? Not even a drop the mic exit? Just leave a the ring, sells his studio, gets into an argument with his parents and then flees, purposefully cutting himself off from virtually everyone. I asked it back. He is acting more like 12 years old. For fuck's sake, he didn't even have proof that she had committed adultery. Was she being faithless? Yeah there were serious issues. Part of it is she probably was pissed at the confrontation with the actor. I am not siding with her. She had real issues and obviously their marriage doesn't mean much to her. Probably is irreconcilable. But wow no confrontation?

Story is nicely written, but Ben is simply a cowardly submissive jerk. Life will throw hardballs. You deal with them. You don't run away. I do not like or appreciate his lifestyle. Frankly I hope only the worst for the self-indulgent and worthless wuss.

Hauntingly bitter, but excising the infected soul with personal writings and images as occupational therapy. It is purging before self healing as good medicine especially for latent PTSD. (How to face your drmons?)

Look...I know rhisnis heading to some kind of forced recombination.

She forces her way into his quiet life using a kid he never knew about to push the door open.

But the disrespect she showed him? Slapping his face publicly. When all he was doing was not letting some asshole put his hands on his wife's ass?

Telling him she wasn't coming back to their hotel room? That's as much saying "I'm going to spend the night in someone else's hotel room and there's nothing you can do about it."

Yeah...so fuck that. This bitch deserves to be left behind. Have a nice life. Enjoy fucking other men. This kind of behavior is indicative of how she wants to act when out on shoots. He cannot trust her. So game over.

So a dozen years later she's just gonna show up? "Sorry about that. I still love you. I'm a supermodel surely you want me back. Right? And put up with all my bullshit...be my little lap dog. Please."

Why would he want that? I mean he's already missed out on 12 years or so of his daughter's life...offer to get to know her. Summer and holidays. She can come stay. But Ali can take her ass on back out of.my life.

I know that's not how this author writes things. But it's actual much more believable.

Here's rhe thing. If someone WANTS to be in your life? They will make an effort. Especially if they are worth 100 million dollars. She could hire ex CIA spooks for a million bucks a year to track him down. They'd find him wouldn't they? The truth is...she didn't really want to find him all that badly. She was busy doing her career. Free to fuck whoever she wanted. Make friends with whoever. Do whatever. No accountability to a husband.

Then...after all kinds of relationships that were inappropriate...she wakes up one day and realizes "oh...my daughter is almost grown and I guess she should know her dad before it's too late. Maybe I should look him up now? I'm so beautiful and rich...he'll for sure want me back."

Bullshit. This guy is rich. Happy. Lives a fulfilling life. Why does he need this aggravation? And his parents?

Fuck them. As an adult? My parents tried to run my life. I've had that experience. I loved them very much. And their heart might have been in the right place. But on 2 separate occasions I had to tell mom and dad to fuck off and to stay out of my life. They got the message after I stopped bringing grand kids around to visit. I wasn't punishing them. I just stayed away until they checked themselves.

I'm pretty sure it happens with lots of families. The way his parents treated him was deplorable. They don't deserve to be back in his life either.

Excellent so far