by Lucifer_Carroll
Luc, your story shook me and that, in itself, is the point of writing...evoking emotions. You did a great job with walking through the entire senario. Normally not my genre but I couldn't stop reading. The ending made up for the huge sense of loss early on.
Never stop writing what comes to mind.Your fans will follow...
v~
As always, I love your style and your writing ability. You've written a dark, brooding and passionate story, a testament to your imagination.
Aint it funny how some people think it sucks if it ain't stroke?
I sorta cried at the end...
I think this story tried to reach for the moon...and missed. Everything was way too exaggerated, the various time changes ultimately became annoying, and all I could think of after a bit was a grating announcer from the Big Top Circus narrating the proceedings. Certainly original, but maybe just too offbeat for my taste. Good luck!
Ignore the nay sayers LC. Write what you feel, as you feel it. Some will appreciate all of it, some none of it, but you will build a following because you get that visceral response that all good writing does.
-Colly
Good work L_C. This style and presentation is difficult to achieve. Apart from some initial minor problems over the sequencing I enjoyed the story immensely. Keep going, it's good work.
If one is looking for a bit of bull-shit for a flash-bang orgasm, this story isn't it. However, I found above average writing and genuine emotion in this tale, and that's what I prefer. Excellent story.
Wow. Not the usual fare in this category. A recent discussion in the Author's Hangout brought this to my attention.
You did an excellent job conveying Kimi's sense of loss and her love for Sandra.
I wouldn't have minded a little more detail concerning her teacher's involvement.
Definately not a story meant for wanking. I mean that in a good way. Thanks for sharing it.
That was a very well-written piece of work! I really dug the whole psychology of it, how your character dissociates and reminisces so that we are told two stories at once. The "...shouting out obscenities and asking her about her patrilineage." has to be one of the most clever lines I've read on this site. Dark, and not titillating in the way one usually looks to in erotica, but - unquestionably wonderful work.