All Comments on 'Alpha Killer'

I was not expecting this! I don't know if I need a box of tissues or a semi automatic weapon to seal with this story chapter and the way the council is

Boy, this ones starts off intense. So much drama in just the first chapter - as expected.

There's nothing better than a pissed off, bad ass shewolf to guaranty a fast moving, action filled story!

PN

partwolf, your universe isn't like anyone else's that I know of: Your stories spin through to their conclusions, which usually feature major upheaval in werewolf society...and then we start the next story, and all of the previous story's changes seem to have never happened. It's as though the "many worlds" hypothesis is true for your universe and each of your stories takes place in roughly the same time frame but in its own unique version of Earth. Is that your intent?

My only complaint is that there are not enough chapters, I love to binge your stories but I'm always sad when I catch a new one. I'm looking forward to more. :)

This promises to be your best one yet. please keep going. I would gladly pay money for this in novel form

I'm excited! Great start.

I'm excited, another great story in the making. Your Amazing!

I’m looking forward to seeing how this one plays out.

Another great start to story a little different from most werewolf tales . Was a little confused with another murderous bad wolf Beta Todd & the killing of his Alphas , had to go back to a previous story (Treasure) & check if it was same guy , it wasn't but still a little jarring . I know it's tough coming up with different names in so many stories with so many characters but this was way to similar . Still a 5 star start .

Interesting start. A bit confusing and has pov. Perhaps try writing without announcing pov

Announcing POV Helps

Please keep telling us whose POV is being presented. It is extremely helpful. Those authors who choose not to indicate when the point of view has shifted, are often confusing and difficult to follow.

It’s good story but if if you going to spend sooooo much time on flashbacks then you should have just started the story in the past and then skipped time to the poker game. When flashbacks start we already know what happened and with a little thought we know why. It’s your story but a gold flow helps keep interest so we are forced to read on.

good start

This is very promising. You've a good narrative style and great story seeds here. Could be developed into something publishable if you wish. Announcing POV is jarring, taking one out of the story, though it's better than leaving readers confused about whose narrative voice they're experiencing. There are other techniques that are more seamless. I disagree with the comment I see below about flashbacks. I think you gave the reader a nice taste of what the story is really capable of, and a reason to get through the necessary exposition by starting with the current day rescue. Not certain I'd have put the FBI agent's scenes in yet. But I haven't yet read the following chapters, which may make that choice the best one. I think you might have gotten your names a bit confused between Tania/Talia in the lake scene. Something to look at when you're in editing mode.

You really have a skill here, and I hope you continue to develop it. I'm quite impatient to get back to the current day and see what's happening with the two women and the FBI agent.

Beautifully written with an excellent command of English. Your wording paints pictures in an easy-flowing manner that grips my imagination and piques my interest. Keep up the excellent work and best wishes to you.

She deserves to lead!!!

I wish I knew this was a likely 200k plus story or was given a heads up that this was one of many chapters. I won't read anything that long on here. Hell I wouldn't buy a book that long unless it was weeks on the best seller. It stinks of organic writing which is always hit or miss. Shorter stories tend to be far more successful because the likelihood of meandering and including meaningless bullshit is less. It's why I call it literary dysentery.

Maybe I'll try a chapter here and there but honestly, if I had known. I wouldn't have bothered