Ambition

As they parted she said, "You will remember, won't you?"

He had smiled enigmatically and said, "My dear, how could I ever forget?"

* * * * * * * *

It was not until she arrived home that the full impact of that weekend struck her. Despite the pleasure she had experienced with Harcourt, she now felt dirty and abused. She lay on the bed she shared with Charles and wept and when taking a shower scrubbed her self unmercifully, as if she could somehow remove what she now felt to be taint of the weekend.

Her one consolation was that she had earned Charles' promotion for him, but as the time for Charles to arrive home drew near she feared she would be unable to conceal the guilt that now consumed her. She felt she could never be clean again - never return to the pure love she had known with Charles.

That weekend, even if unknown to Charles, would always be there between them.

When Charles arrived home he looked at her and grinned, "My God Serena, you must have had a wild weekend, you look worn out."

For one terrible moment she thought he must know what she had been doing, but as he went on to say, "Despite her exotic name I'd never imagined Carmen to be the wild partying type -- or was it the expatriates?"

Serena felt a wave of relief; he didn't know.

"It was just a very busy weekend, darling."

Charles laughed and said, "I think you should have an early night, and I'd better behave myself, but watch out for tomorrow night."

Serena experienced another wave of relief; she felt she couldn't have faced having sex with Charles just yet.

* * * * * * * *

The decision about who was to be the new head of the department was kept secret. No doubt to dramatize the event it was to be announced at a faculty dinner that was to include wives and partners.

To heighten the drama the announcement was left until the main part of the meal was over. It was then that Julian Harcourt rose to name his successor. He began somewhat pompously.

"Ladies and gentlemen, a new head of a university department is not a common occurrence, and it has fallen to my lot to announce the name of the one who is to succeed me."

"I have to say that those of us responsible for finding that person have had a difficult task. Starting with some two dozen applications from around the world, I am delighted to say that after careful consideration of all the candidate our choice came down to two candidates from our own faculty (modest applause)."

"We found in these candidates two outstanding applicants and, as you can imagine, our task was an extremely difficult one."

"Made a lot easier by me," Serena thought cynically.

"I have to thank my colleagues," Harcourt continued, "for the assiduous manner in which they applied themselves to this onerous task" (mild applause).

"It only took eight months," Serena thought.

"We realise that the unsuccessful candidate will be bitterly disappointed, but we wish to assure him that although he has been unsuccessful on this occasion, we believe he has a great deal to look forward to."

Serena sat back, feeling relaxed for the first time since her weekend with Harcourt. Now Charles would reap the reward of her sacrifice of marital fidelity, even though he would never know of her part in it.

"And now," Harcourt continued, "without further ado, I shall announce the name of your new head of department, it is, Steven Hawk; congratulations Steven" (slightly more enthusiastic applause).

"And now ladies and gentlemen, if you will all rise, we shall drink a toast to Steven. Well done Steven and may you have great success in your new task. To Steven."

"To Steven," the gathering responded."

White faced, her legs barely able to support her, Serena could not mouth the words. She glanced at Harcourt and caught his eye. He grinned at her. She looked across at Sarah Hawk who was clinging to her husband's arm, a triumphant smile adorning her face. She looked across at Serena and her smile broadened.

Serena felt as if she was going to faint and sat down heavily. There were further congratulations being exchanged and out of the corner of her eye she saw Harcourt heading out of the dining room. She turned to Charles and said, "I've got to go to the toilet," and went off in pursuit of Harcourt.

She caught up with him just he was about to enter his office.

"You liar...you filthy rotten bastard," she yelled.

He pulled her into his office closing the door and said, "My dear Mrs. Daniels such language, something seems to have upset you, sit down my dear."

"I'll stand," she replied. "You promised...you promised that if I let you fuck me..."

"My dear, such immoderate language; what do you suppose I promised you?"

"You said that if I let you fuck me you'd make sure Charles got the appointment and instead you..."

"I can recall no such promise," Harcourt said mildly. "My recollection is that I told you I was in a position to sway the vote one way or the other, but as for a promise that I'd..."

"Your last words to me were that you'd remember and..."

"Well of course I'll remember; how could I forget such a delightful and satisfying weekend with a very attractive lady?"

Serena lashed out at him, striking him a stinging blow across the face.

He raise his hand to his reddening cheek and smiled.

"Well, you are a little tigress aren't you; who would have suspected such venom in one so sweet and compliant. I think you should be made to pay for that blow, so there is one promise I can give you now; tomorrow morning I shall let your husband know what a delightful slut he has for a wife. I shall delay until tomorrow to give you the chance to make your own confession to him."

"Why...why did you do this to me, you knew all the time..."

"No my dear, I didn't know until I found someone who was just a bit more complaint with my wishes than you. It was that little extra that tipped the balance Steven's way; I'm sure you know what I mean; she did what you refused to do."

"Sarah...Sarah Hawk!"

"Of course, if you'd had any sense you'd have realised I would have to try you both. She earned her husband's reward for him."

"If you tell my husband, what will your position be? It'll be all over the university, I'll make sure of that."

"Spread it around by all means my dear, there'll be plenty ready to congratulate me for my successful sexual coup, and those who don't congratulate me will fail to do so because they'll be jealous. As for the rest of it; they can't dismiss me because I shan't be here to be dismissed; you and Sarah are hardly under aged, and as for sexual harassment, well you both agreed to my suggestion quite voluntarily, you travelled to my houseboat on your own, so what can you do?"

"I was all for nothing...for nothing," Serena moaned.

"Come my dear, not exactly for nothing. You can't pretend that you didn't enjoy what we did; the noises you made adequately demonstrated your pleasure."

"You've ruined my marriage...my life..."

Harcourt's mild manner changed abruptly; he turned on her with savage glee.

"You've only got yourself to blame you slut. You decided to sell your cunt, not me. I've done Charles a favour by revealing what a whore he has for a wife -- a delightful whore, but whore nonetheless, because isn't that what women are who sell themselves for gain are. He might even thank me for exposing you to him."

"I only did it for him, not for me," Serena wailed.

"I hope he believes you when you tell him that. And now I think enough has been said, so if you'll excuse me -- oh by the way, if neither you nor Sarah had accepted my proposition Charles would have got the position on merit."

Defeated, Serena staggered out of the office to be met by Charles.

"I wondered where you'd got to, what were you doing in Harcourt's office?"

"Just...just talking about the new head of the department."

"Darling, you look terrible, you've taken it worse than I have, I'd better take you home."

"Yes...yes...take me home Charles."

* * * * * * * *

Arriving home Serena realised she must get it over with as soon as possible. If Harcourt was going to tell Charles the next day, God knows what tale he would tell, but he would certainly make it as lurid as possible, and it was lurid enough already.

They got as far as their bedroom when Serena said, "Charles, there's something I've got to tell you."

"Can't it wait until the morning darling, you looked washed out."

"No it can't wait," she said.

She sat on the stool in front of the dressing table and Charles sat on the bed.

"Well, what is it that can't wait?"

"The weekend with Carmen..."

"Oh that, you're going to tell me you got drunk," he laughed.

"No, I wasn't with Carmen."

Charles looked puzzled. "Where were you then?"

"I was with Harcourt."

"Harcourt! What were you doing with...Harcourt, are you telling me...?"

"Yes, we were on his houseboat."

Charles gasped, "You....you...were spending the weekend fucking with..."

"Yes, it was for you darling...for you...I didn't..."

Charles face looked black as thunder as he said slowly, "You were screwing with Harcourt for me! Perhaps you can explain that to me so that I can understand."

"When he came here he told me how he could swing the vote if I'd...I'd let him..."

"Fuck you," Charles snarled, "and you agreed."

"No...no not at first...don't look at me like that Charles..."

"How am I supposed to look at you, as if I'm grateful?"

"Please Charles, listen to me. He said he could make sure you got the position if I..."

"Yes, I've got that much, I'm not stupid. It didn't work did it?"

"I thought he promised..."

"And you fell for it -- or did you really want to fuck with him?"

"No, I sent him away, but when you told me how important the job was to you..."

"You changed your mind."

"Yes...I..."

"You slut, you stupid bloody slut, and I suppose I wasn't to know.

Serena sat weeping saying nothing.

"So why are you telling me now," Charles asked sarcastically, "got a bad conscience?"

"Harcourt's going to tell you in the morning," Serena whispered.

"Ah, so that's the reason, not conscience."

"I only did it for you, darling."

"So you said before, are you sure it wasn't for you, you bloody whore."

"Don't call me that, that's what Harcourt said..."

"Ah so the lovers have fallen out; well for once I agree with Harcourt, you whore. So why didn't the plan work? How is it that Steven Hawk is in and I'm out?

"Sarah Hawk, she..."

"Ah yes, Harcourt always likes the best of both worlds. So why has Sarah succeeded where you failed with your little scheme?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know! You did it for me and you don't know why Sarah Hawk got past the winning post first, didn't he find you a satisfactory fuck?"

Serena, goaded beyond endurance yelled, "All right if you want to know, I wouldn't suck his cock."

"Oh, why not you suck mine so why not his? I take it you gave him everything else."

"Yes."

"So why the reticence?"

"That's something I'll only do with you."

"Aha, so there is something reserved for me. I suppose next time I apply for a position you'll be looking to fuck with the guy you think can swing it for me? Let's hope you're more successful next time; on the other hand, you won't need to bother because you and I won't be together."

"Please, Charles, can't we forget..."

"No we can't. My God, you didn't just let him fuck you; you had to fuck with him for a whole weekend."

"He made me..."

"No he didn't, you agreed, so let's not lay it all at Harcourt's door. My God, I could murder both of you."

He rose and took a step towards Serena.

"Please Charles, you're frightening me."

"Frightening you? My God, you've ruined the trust I had in you; you've screwed with one of the most devious bastards you're ever likely to meet; you've ruined our marriage; and all you can say is, I'm frightening you? I could...could..."

He took another menacing step towards her; Serena screamed and fled from the room; she tripped at the top of the stairs and went tumbling down to the bottom, lying in a crumpled heap.

Charles came to the top of the stairs and looked down in horror at his wife's body. He went down to her.

"My God, my God, what have I done...what have I done...Serena...Serena...."

He telephoned for an ambulance and tried to find Serena's pulse; he could find none.

When the ambulance crew arrived they wouldn't move the body, and would give no explanation.

The police arrived. Charles was in shock and at first they could not get coherent answers from him. They took him to the police station and after giving him time to recover his wits, began to question him.

Gradually what had happened was pieced together: the row; Serena fleeing from the room; her fall down the stairs.

Clearly the police suspected murder, but when the preliminary forensic pathology report arrived it was consistent with Charles' account that it was an accident. He was driven home in a police car to his empty house.

* * * * * * * *

Charles was living a nightmare. The shock of Serena's confession that she had spent a weekend with Harcourt sank into obscurity in the face of her death. What might have happened had she lived we shall never know now, but her death set off a tragic train of events.

Two days after Serena's funeral the local tabloid announced in a glaring headline, "Assassination in Academia."

It seemed from the report that Professor Harcourt was in his office collecting his personal effects before handing over to the new head of the department. The killer had entered and strangled the professor. Two hours later Professor Charles Daniels had given himself up at the police station, confessing to the murder of Professor Harcourt.

The trial of Daniels was followed with keen and salacious interest by the local media, with such headlines as, "Sordid Sex Scandals Exposed at Slayer's Trial."

Among those called to give evidence were Steven and Sarah Hawk, and in the course of cross questioning details of Sarah's houseboat weekend with Harcourt were revealed.

Charles was sentenced to fifteen years imprisonment with a ten year non-parole period.

Two weeks after the trial the body of Sarah Hawk was found after neighbours reported that neither she nor Steven Hawk had been seen for more than a week and their post box was overflowing with mail.

When the police broke in they found Sarah's body; she had been battered to death with a blunt instrument, which proved to be a hammer.

In the garage Steven's body was found seated in his car. He had died as the result of inhaling exhaust fumes.

If one small positive came out of the tragic events it was that Charles, during his stay in prison, coached prisoners who were studying for a degree by correspondence.

"Then from this closing eyes thy form shall part / And the last pang shall tear thee from his heart; / Life's idle business at one gasp be o'er, / The Muse forgot, and thou beloved no more!

(Alexander Pope "Elegy to the Memory of and Unfortunate Lady")