Amen!

He led the congregation in prayer which sounded more like a pep talk than supplication, but what did Brian Jacobs know about that? There was a resounding, "Amen!" from the crowd when he finished and immediately went into announcements.

"Brothers and sisters, our choir is now going to sing for us so I'll turn things over to Sister Joyce Keller, our lovely and talented choir director!"

When she stood up, Brian recognized her instantly. The long, dark hair, the pretty face, and the black-framed glasses. He felt even worse when he saw a large diamond ring on her left hand as she smiled at the pastor and thanked him before turning around and motioning for the choir to stand.

Jacobs barely heard a word of the 30-minute sermon which seemed to focus on loving one's neighbor as oneself. Unable to avoid being cynical he wondered how far away the choir director lived from the Tolsons and whether or not they could be considered 'neighbors'.

When the service ended, Kinley walked with Brian to the front of the church where her husband was shaking hands and wishing God's blessings on those who'd attended.

"Hey, Kin," he said to his wife without looking at her. "So...what did you think, Marine?" he asked Brian.

"I'm not much of a churchgoer, Pastor. The choir sounded nice. Looks like the director spends a lot of time with them."

"Oh, right. Yes, Sister Keller is a real blessing. Kinley and I just love her to death, right, Kin?"

"She really is an amazing woman. Her husband is in the Army, by the way. He's gone a lot, and she does such a good job with her three children as well as the choir. She's a very good piano player herself, Brian."

"I'm sure," he said. What he wanted to say was how he could really only see her playing the pink piccolo, but discretion was supposed to be the better part of valor.

"Please come visit with us again, Byron," the pastor said before shaking other hands.

"I'll walk...Brian out to his car and be right back okay, honey?" she said. Her husband didn't even acknowledge her as she turned and walked with Jacobs out to the parking lot.

"I'm glad you came today, Brian. It was really nice having a friend to sit with," she told him as they walked.

"I enjoyed sitting with you, too," he said not wanting to say anything negative.

"Brian?" Kinley said when they got to his car.

"Yes?"

"I...I guess I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your friendship. It really means a lot to me."

"Same here," he told her. "I wish I could say it was the piano lessons that have helped me turn down the volume of the 'tape' in my mind, but the honest-to-God...sorry. The honest-to-goodness truth is...I have you to thank for that."

Kinley looked down at the asphalt and said, "I know exactly what you mean. Since we first met I've had the feeling that things might not be as hopeless as they've seemed for so long."

She looked up at him, smiled, then said, "You're the light at the end of my tunnel."

Brian smiled then said, "Kinley? Whatever's going on...or maybe...not going on...between you and your husband is none of my business, but I just feel like I need to tell you I really don't get it."

She broke eye contact but just before she did, he saw the way she looked at him when he spoke those words. "Were I ever so lucky, so fortunate, so...blessed? to find such an amazing and beautiful woman, I would devote my entire life to making her happy and I would never, ever make her feel like I was neglecting her."

Kinley blinked away another tear then said quietly without looking up, "One day you will find her, Brian, and when you do, she'll be the luckiest woman on earth."

He opened his door and it stopped between his and her left hands which were less than three inches apart. Kinley extended her hand ever-so slightly and Jacobs did the same until they touched.

"No matter how wrong it may be, seeing you is the highlight of my week," she said still not looking at him.

"Mine, too," he told her. "But...."

"I know," she said raising her hand up and looking at the ring on her hand. "I made a vow and even when keeping it seems impossible or even undesirable...." She looked at him again then said, "I was so young when I married Andrew. I have to admit though, I really did love him. I just had no idea things could ever get like this." She paused then said, "I've been thinking about a song for the last several days."

"What song, Kinley?" he asked quietly.

"I'm not sure of the title but the words I keep hearing are, 'It's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.' Obviously, I'm not the right one for you, even if things were different. But if I could change things, I'd be ten years younger and...."

"No," he said politely stopping her. "You don't need to change anything." He smiled trying to lighten this very heavy mood and said, "Well, you would need to be single."

She smiled then teared up again. This time, he touched her fingers for the briefest of moments then said, "If you were, you'd be my perfect girl." He saw her blinking fast again then added, "Okay...woman."

"Don't remind me how old I am, okay?" she said trying to smile. "Is my mascara running?"

"No. You're fine," he said. He smiled again then said, "Trust me. You are very...fine."

Kinley laughed then said, "That was lame. Very sweet but lame!"

"But true!" he insisted. Both of them laughed briefly before Brian said, "I should probably get going."

Kinley looked back at the front of the church and said, "Me, too. Thanks again for coming today."

"Thank you for sitting with me...and for the grand tour."

"See you tomorrow?"

"You can count on it," he told her.

"And just a piano lesson, okay? Please?" she asked. Jacobs understood what she was asking and why and he told her that sounded good.

Still torn, Jacobs went for another run on Monday morning. Whatever he was feeling for this beautiful, older woman, he knew he couldn't act on it. So what good could come from showing her the video or coming out and telling her directly how he felt? The answer was 'none' and he knew that was true. And yet, didn't she have a right to know the truth?

As his brain played Devil's Advocate with himself he had to admit she probably did have the right to know, but he was pretty sure he wasn't the one who should tell her. Yet short of hiring someone or sending the video to her anonymously, how could he inform her without being the source of the hurt and pain the truth would inflict? He knew he wouldn't be the source or the cause of that pain, but he couldn't stand to be the bearer of that kind of bad news.

He put the mental drill on hold as he headed out intent on running so hard he might be able to forget for at least a couple of hours. Even in his darkest days, a run like that could provide some very temporary, short-term relief and relief was something he badly needed.

He started out at just over 7-minutes a mile this time, and by the second mile kicked it into high gear. He was cruising along very nicely, the music from his iPod blaring in his ears, and then he saw it. There was the Cadillac again, parked in the same place. As he got closer, he could see two people in the back, and this time their identities were unmistakable.

Once again, he crept up from behind using the pine trees and under brush for cover then started recording. His blood was boiling as he saw the two lovers kissing the way only lovers kissed. He recorded until 'Sister' Keller's blouse came off then ended the video and went back to his run.

He pushed himself so hard that by the end of the run he was gasping for air and feeling like his lungs were ready to explode. He stopped about a hundred yards from the house then slowly walked it off. By the time he got to the door, he knew what he was going to do. What he had to do.

He went to his piano lesson and true to his word said nothing that wasn't directly related to the task at hand. The only exception came from Kinley who, as Brian was leaving, said, "Thank you for not making this any harder for me."

Jacobs replied, "For both of us."

From there he drove straight to the church and then walked directly to the pastor's office. An older lady greeted him and said with a warm smile, "Oh, hello there! I believe you're the young man who visited with us yesterday."

"Yes, ma'am," he said.

"Did you want to speak with Pastor Tolson about something?" she asked very sweetly.

"Yes, ma'am. I really do need to talk with him."

"Well, as you can imagine, the pastor is a very busy...and very important man, but he always has time for someone searching for the truth." She looked at him then asked, "Do you know the Lord, young man?"

"Not personally, no," he said not wanting to get into a discussion about the fate of his soul.

"Well, He's waiting to hear from you, you know. Just ask Him to come into your heart and you'll be changed in an instant! I'm sure the pastor can help you do just that. Let me let him know you're here." She picked up the phone and seconds later, Pastor Tolson came out wearing a dark blue suit and a light blue, silk tie.

"Byron! Good to see you, my friend! Please tell me you're here to consider joining our congregation."

"Not exactly," he said. "But I did want to discuss something very important with you."

The older woman looked at the pastor adoringly and said, "He doesn't know the Lord yet, Pastor. I told him you could show him how he could be sure he'll go to heaven."

"Um, well, yes. That is life's most important decision. Come on in, and we can go over some Bible verses in the Book of Romans. We call that the 'Romans Road to Salvation'."

Jacobs followed him into his office and Tolson closed the door behind them.

"So you're ready to give your heart to Jesus then?" he said opening his Bible.

"Well, not just yet," Jacobs replied.

"That's fine. Everyone has questions. Go ahead and ask away," he said with a big smile.

"Pastor Tolson, you love your wife, right?"

His smile faded but didn't disappear. "More than my own life," he claimed.

"I see. Um...could you tell me what this Bible verse means? Jacobs had memorized a couple of them after his run once he found them on line via Google. "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

"Byron, is there something I'm missing here? I'm not sure how that's tied to salvation."

"It's Brian, by the way," he said. "Okay, then...how about this one: "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God." He bored a hole into Tolson's head as he politely asked, "What does that mean—Pastor? You know, about adulterers not being able to inherit the Kingdom of God?"

Clearly agitated, the pastor said, "I don't think I like where this is going. If you've got something to say, kid, say it."

"Just one more, okay? This one's really short. I promise. Here goes: Thou shalt not commit adultery. Does that ring a bell?"

Tolson, who was at least three inches shorter and not anywhere close to being in the kind of shape Brian Jacobs was came around his desk and pointed a finger in the younger man's face. "Let me tell you something right now. I will not tolerate anyone coming in here making unfounded, untruthful accusations about me or my...."

Jacobs calmly pulled out his phone, brought up the video and handed it to Tolson. "It's on the Cloud, by the way. Just in case you try and delete it or maybe want to destroy the phone."

He saw the 'play' arrow and his car in the background. His hand trembled as he hit play and watched himself with his married choir director French kissing.

"It gets better," Jacobs said.

The 'reverend' shut it off and handed it back to the owner. "All right. You've made your point. Now I understand why someone your age is taking piano lessons. You're an extortionist. So...what do want? Money? How much will it take to make this go away?"

"Money? You can't be serious. Your wife is at home dying inside from neglect. You're killing her, and you either don't know or you don't care. Either way, you're the cause. I have no idea what's gone on between you over the years, and it's none of my business, but in the short time I've known Kinley, I've come to know she's an amazing woman who doesn't deserve this." He turned the phone back at Tolson so he could see the still picture of him locking lips with 'Sister' Keller. "I also don't know what goes on at the Kellar house nor do I even know her. But I do know Kinley, and I know she deserves better than...this."

"What do you want from me? If it isn't money, what the hell do you want?"

"I want you to go home and tell you're wife what you're doing. I want you to let her know none of this is her fault. I want you to stand up and be a man for once and do the right thing, because I swear to God, if you don't, I will."

Jacobs stood up and said, "I'm giving you 48 hours to tell her. That's when my next lesson is. After that, she sees this. And if you do or say anything to hurt her or if you try and lay any of the blame on her, this goes public—pastor."

With that he walked out and smiled at the secretary. "Have you been born again, young man?" she asked as he walked away.

"You could say that," he replied turning his head and winking at her.

"Praise the Lord!" she said smiling happily.

It was just after 8pm that evening when his phone rang. He saw who was calling and excused himself. "Sorry, Mom. I need to take this upstairs," he said as he abruptly ended their conversation.

"Hello?" he said as he ascended the stairs.

"Brian? Is that you? It's...it's Kinley."

"Hi. Yes, it's me."

"Brian, I'm so upset, and I didn't know who else to call," she said, her voice breaking with emotion.

"I'm here for you, Kinley. Go ahead."

Through many tears she heaved sobs as she told him what he already knew.

"And poor Brother Keller. He...he works so hard and...those children...." She lost it again and couldn't speak.

"How can I help?" he asked, his own heart breaking knowing hers had just been shattered.

He heard her struggling to speak then finally say, "Unless you're a divorce lawyer I don't really see how you can." He wasn't sure, but he thought she may have tried to laugh.

"Kinley? Are you gonna be okay?"

"No," she sobbed. There was a pause then she said, "I mean...yes. Eventually. I...I knew something was wrong. I could just...feel it! I had no idea it was this bad, but...." She lost it again and Jacobs waited patiently until she could at least listen.

"Would you like me to come over and sit with you or maybe just listen?"

"Would you mind?" she croaked.

"No, of course I wouldn't mind. I'll be right there, okay?"

"Okay. Thank you, Brian. Thank you so much," she said barely able to speak.

Jacobs sat with her until well after midnight letting her talk and talk and then repeat the things that hurt her the most as many times as necessary.

At one point, after she was long-since cried out Kinley said, "You know, I think you've seen me crying more than you have not crying."

She smiled a brave-but-weak smile and Brian said, "Friends don't care about stuff like that. They take what comes as it comes and never don't criticize or judge. A friend is just there for you."

"You know what's really crazy about all of this is that of all the hundreds of women I know, of all of my friends from church, you were the only person I felt I could talk to. You were the only person I wanted to talk to. Crazy, huh?" she said mustering another weak smile.

He wanted to hold her so badly it was killing him, but he willed himself not to. "I'm glad you called me."

She was looking into his eyes when he said, "You're not just a friend to me, Kinley. You're also very special to me. I...I wish I could tell you just how special you are, but that's better left for another day."

They were sitting on the couch together with perhaps two feet between them. Kinley reached over and took his hand and said, "I feel the same way about you, Brian. And...will you promise me that when that day comes you'll tell me?"

"I will. I promise," he told her as he gently squeezed her hand.

"I don't want you go," she said without looking at him.

"I know. And I don't want to go," he told her placing his other hand on top. "But if I stay then I'm afraid that day won't ever come."

She didn't say anything so he moved closer without letting go of her hand. "My life changed the day I met you, Kinley. You gave me hope and you made it possible for me to quiet the voices. I...I knew you were married so I couldn't tell you how I felt. And this still isn't the right time, but...but I do have feelings for you. Very strong, very deep feelings."

"I have those same feelings for you, too," she said looking at him with eyes so sad it hurt him to his core.

"But you need time. Time to think. Time to work through all of this. Ironically, things getting as bad as they did before Andrew told you may make this a bit easier for you, but that doesn't mean it'll be easy. You have to heal. Emotionally and mentally. And that's gonna take some time."

"I know," she said quietly. "I know you're right, but I don't want you to be right. I...want you to be with me."

"Kinley? As much as I want to be with you, too, I know your faith has been a huge part of your life. You're not...wired...to do something like that. And were I to stay—and believe me when I say there's nothing more on earth I'd rather do—I can't stand the thought of being that guy. The guy who took advantage or the guy who helped destroy your faith."

"Faith. I've been struggling with that for quite a while now. I never once questioned the existence of God or that He loves us and answers our prayers. But over the last few years and especially the last several months, I've had this nagging feeling that the reason prayers don't seem to get answered is because well...."

"No one is 'up there' listening?"

"It's funny but even saying that out loud seems so scary. It seems...blasphemous. It's as though actually saying it will sever some kind of mystical tie that probably doesn't even exist."

"Having never believed, I don't know what you're going through, but I do know that a divorce is a very stressful event. Losing your faith at the same time would be well...even more traumatic."

"In reality, my marriage ended some time ago. I just didn't know it. And honestly, Brian? I'm pretty sure my faith may have ended around that same time."

"Kinley? You really do need time to think this all through. Do you have anywhere you could go? Your sister's? A friend's place? Somewhere you can get away from this house and these memories and just think and meditate?"

"And pray?" she said trying to smile.

"Possibly," he said. "But until you've taken that time, I can't be with you. I can't because...because more than anything, being with you..for the long run...is what I want. But...not like this."

"My sister Kelli lives down in Chehalis," she told him. "She and her husband have a dairy farm there. We haven't been that close since...well, since high school when our parents were killed. No, wait. Things really changed between us once I met Andrew. Kelli, my sister, gave up on God and religion after their deaths, but I never wavered. Andrew didn't want me spending time with Kelli and we just drifted apart. We exchange Christmas and birthday cards, but that's about it."

"Maybe this would be the perfect opportunity to reconnect and mend fences."

"Looking back, I built all the fences. I couldn't have fellowship...with the unrighteous. My sister became so 'worldly' and such a party girl. In my way of thinking—too worldly. It's been maybe 15 years since we really talked."