Amen!

Brian reached out and touched her face and told her, "Have you ever thought maybe this is the answer to your prayers?"

"Yes. Yes, that's exactly what I'm thinking."

She reached up and took his hand and said, "You make me so happy. If only I was 21...or even 25 again."

"Kinley? I'm going to tell you this, and then I'm going to go and you can't ask me to stay. Will you promise you won't?"

"Okay," she said softly as she kissed the back of his hand.

"I'm falling in love with you, but until you know who you are and what you want, I can't fall any farther because it's already too painful."

She went to speak but he stopped her. "I don't care how old you are, okay? It means nothing to me. Nothing. But I do care about you and I need you to choose me...if you decide you want me, that is...for the right reasons."

She started to speak again but he gently put a finger to her lips and said, "If and when you are, I'll be here waiting for you. Look, I can't offer you money or a house like this. I can't offer you beautiful clothes or jewelry or much of anything in the way of...stuff, but I am ready to finally start going to college and I can promise you you will never, ever feel neglected." He slid ever closer and told her, "I now know very clearly what I want in life as well as who I want to spend it with. So...if you decide in say...six months or a year from now that you feel the same way then...I'll be here waiting."

"Brian...please," she began.

He leaned over and kissed her on the lips one time very softly for two or three seconds.

"I do love you, Kinley. When you're ready to love again, and if I'm the one you want to love you...." He blinked back a tear of his own then said, "Well, you have my number, okay?"

"Okay," she said choking back tears.

He stood up and slowly let her hand slide away from his. He smiled one more time then said, "Goodbye, Kinley. Good luck and...godspeed?"

He watched her tears begin to fall again as he walked away fighting back his own. He closed the door behind him then felt the emotional dam burst. He hated himself for crying again, but he knew this entire situation, as it was, was wrong on every level. He would wait and work and hope, and if Kinley still had feelings for him, then and only then could he really allow himself to completely fall in love with her. For now, the proverbial ball was in her court.

Kinley cried off and on that entire first night alone having told Andrew to leave and never come back. She hated to admit Brian was right, but there was no other way. She would have to face this new chapter of her life one day at a time until she came out at the other end—hopefully whole or at least in a better place. Only then could she possibly decide what to do about her feelings for this younger man she really barely knew while also dealing her loss of faith.

Perhaps with time and a lot of self-reflection, she would renew her faith and come back even stronger than before. Regardless, time was essential to both issues and her heart ached to make things right with her sister, and if not now, then when?

At 8am she drug herself downstairs having slept less than an hour. She made herself some coffee then picked up her phone and found her sister's name. She took several breaths then prayed...no...hoped...she wouldn't start crying again.

"Kelli? Hi, it's me...Kinley. Can we talk?"

*****

May, 2010: Chehalis, Washington

"There's nothing magic about six months, Kinley. It was a timeframe he randomly threw out. If you feel ready now then why wait?"

"Honestly? I'm afraid," she told her sister.

"Of?" Kelli asked.

"Two things. The first is that he's found someone else and moved on."

"Yeah, that's not likely based on everything you've told me. What's the other?"

"That he hasn't found someone else and that he's still...."

"In love with you?"

"He never actually said he was in love with me, just that he felt like he loved me or was falling in love with me."

"Kinley? That's called a distinction without a difference," her sister pointed out. "The guy was definitely in love with you and almost certainly still is. The longer you wait, however, the more you run the risk your first fear will come true." She pushed Kinley's phone in front of her and said, "Call him."

"I can't," she said.

"Look, you've been here for nearly four months. In all that time have you had one single day where you didn't love him?"

"No, but...."

"And in all this time how many times have you gone to church?"

"None, but...."

"And how many times have you prayed? No, wait. I'll answer that one for you. None. So the two big deals for Brian, the two things he wanted you to take time to work through, are worked through, right?"

"I guess, but..."

"But nothing! Pick up the fucking phone and call the man you love!"

"You don't have to curse," she said defensively reaching for the phone.

"Oh, stop already with the whole 'my virgin ears' bullshit, Kinley. If there's no one up there answering the most important prayers of your life—to save your fucking marriage, for God's sake—do you really believe someone's up there keeping a tally of how many 'bad' words we say? Get real already, would you?"

Kelli wasn't finished. "Look, we both grew up in church. When Mom and Dad were in that car accident, we both prayed and prayed and prayed. Dad died two hours later and mom two hours after that. You never lost faith but for me, that was it. I gave up on all that and never looked back. If you still believe it, that's your business, but I don't and I'm pretty sure you've figured it out now, too. And you do have virgin ears. When's the last time you said anything stronger than 'darn' or 'gosh'? So that whole 'I'm so offended thing' is bullshit."

"It's not...bullshit," Kinley said before Kelli exploded in laughter.

She laughed so hard Kinley started laughing, too. Kinley turned on her phone, looked at her sister, then stuck her tongue out and said, "You are such a bad person! And a terrible, corrupting influence on me—bitch!"

"Cunt!" Kelli said back still laughing. "I'll give you some space while you talk to Romeo. And Kinley? You're in love with him, so don't blow this, okay?"

She heard the phone ringing then wished she hadn't called. What if he let it go straight to voicemail? What if a girl answered? What if....

"Kinley?" she heard him say almost breathless.

She couldn't speak. She just held the phone to her ear and sat there.

"Kinley? Are you there?" she heard. "Please talk to me."

"Brian?"

"Yes! It's me. Kinley, are you all right? Where are you? Are you okay?"

"I...think so," she finally said.

"I've been going crazy waiting and wondering if you'd ever call," he said still panting.

"Are you out running?" she asked.

"I am," he said. "Well, I was. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you're okay. Are you? Okay? I mean...really okay?"

Kelli walked back in and mouthed the words, "Just need one thing. SORRY!"

"Other than my horrible sister turning me into her evil twin, I'm fine. How are you? Are you okay?"

"I miss you. A lot. I've missed you every second since I walked out that night back in January. Please talk to me."

"I um...I called my sister, Kelli, the next morning after you left. I've been staying with her in Chehalis. She and her husband were kind enough to take me in, and I've been here ever since, thinking and trying to get my head on straight."

"And?" he said with great anticipation.

"I know you said to give this six months, but I don't need that much time, Brian. I know what I want now."

"Which is?"

"I put the house up for sale right after I got here, and it closed two weeks ago. Andrew isn't contesting the divorce, and it should final in a couple more months. I'm pretty sure I've worked out the religious side of things and...and I also know how I feel about you. I guess I'm wondering if it's too late."

She felt a the lump in her throat and the knot in her stomach. "Is it too late? Have you moved on yet? Have you found someone else?"

"Are you kidding? Kinley, I wake up in the morning thinking about you. You're on my mind every minute of every day. I fall asleep thinking about you. Moved on? I can't move on. I don't want to move on."

"Really?" he heard her say knowing she was crying again.

She could tell he was smiling as she heard him say, "It seems you cry a lot when I'm talking to you. I hate that I do that to you."

"No, it...it isn't you. I...I miss you, too. I miss you so much, Brian. I don't think I can stand to be away from you one more day." She swallowed hard then said, "Brian?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

*****

Kinley packed her things and headed back to the Seattle area the next morning. Most of what she and Andrew jointly owned was in storage. He had no interest in furniture, so all of it plus half the profit they made on the home was hers.

But Brian had made it very clear he didn't want a dime of her money. He intended to provide for them both even though it wouldn't be easy. He was now going to school full-time on the GI Bill and working part-time, and Kinley planned to teach piano and do whatever else she needed to help make ends meet. Starting over not only didn't concern her, it filled her with happiness knowing she would be with the man she truly loved and who loved her the way she so desperately needed to be loved.

They met at a very nice hotel just outside the city and Kinley ran into his arms when she saw him waiting just outside the main entrance for her. They kissed for a very long time before he told her again how much he loved her. When she told him she loved him just as much, he led her upstairs and made love to her for the first time.

Even during the early years Andrew had never paid that kind of attention to her physical needs. In fact, Kinley didn't even know a man could do so many different things to her body that were oh-so pleasurable. She learned very quickly just how effective a tongue or fingers could be when properly applied to the right places. She'd had orgasms before but never like the ones she had with Brian who made sure she always came first—both figuratively and literally.

They moved into a small apartment together that he'd recently leased the following day. Brian laughed when she brought it several of the very expensive things she'd had in storage.

"Don't laugh!" she said knowing he wasn't being mean. "It's just stuff and there's no reason to buy it again when we already have it." She had to admit it was completely out of place for such a meager little apartment but it performed the same function and that was all that mattered.

He took her in his arms and said, "I love it when you say 'we'. And I love you."

"I love you, too, Brian Jacobs."

He reached into his pocket then knelt on one knee as he opened it. "Then...will you marry me and become Mrs. Brian Jacobs so 'we' can spend the rest of our lives together?"

Kinley's hands were covering her mouth as her body trembled in excitement. "Will I marry you? Are you kidding? YES! Yes, I will marry you!"

He slipped the ring on her finger, stood up, and took her in his arms. "Shall we christen our new place?" he asked as he held her close.

"Mmmm. Does that mean you want to fuck me?" she asked surprising him with her 'coarse' language.

He brushed back her pretty hair and smiled. "Oh, yeah. Fucking-a, I want to fuck you."

"Fucking-a...men?" she said unable to stop smiling. She yelped then started laughing as Brian picked her up and carried her to their bed where he answered her prayers not once but twice.

They drove to Chehalis with his parents in August and were married at Kelli's house who was thrilled to not only be Kinley's maid of honor but to have her sister back in her life as her new best friend.

The following spring, Kinley gave birth to their first child, a baby girl they named Samantha Jo in honor of her late parents.

The happy coupled struggled financially as Brian finished his BA at the University of Washington, but Kinley never again wondered whether or not the man she loved loved her back. Between her handsome young husband and their beautiful daughter, Kinley couldn't help but think that in some strange way all of her prayers really had been answered.