All Comments on 'An Alpha's Klutz'

Was hoping for a novel.... But anyways, I liked it. :D Also wondered how he can explain his mating to her. Why didn't anyone approve of how he was going to claim her?

Nonetheless, I liked it. That is all that matters. :)

I realy like this story, please more to tie the loose ends

This story is so good I had o finish it before I could tear myself away from my computer... Hope you can write more stories and just a suggestion you an try writing a story on a check-up experience lokking forward to your story.

I want to thank everyone for their votes and the comments. I was a bit rushed writing this one, i would have loved to make it longer and more detailed. I would like to give a big shout out to MountianWillow and Daddytom12 who read it first and served as my editors. I meant to put them in the notes but having never had an editor I forgot to.

Once again thank you everyone.

You really need an editor. Some of your wording didn't make complete sense and you mixed up facts like one time you said they were going to be there for two weeks and then later you said they were only going to be there for one. Just some general cleaning like that would make this story better. Also the ending was rushed. It would have been nice to know her opinion on him being a wolf etc.

I'd really loved the story but it did seem rushed. I would like to have seen Nekko explain his situation to her and what happened with Emily and. had..Please fill us Jun. How did they take the news, what happened....but great story otherwise

Emily and Chad. Please fill us in

I liked the whole ides of this story. Nekko seeing her in a photo and everything he did to connect w/her. Ordering the quilts was a surprise, that he would even think of that as a way to make first contact w/Jenna was great. The first nite when Nekko went into Jenna room and started on his plan to make Jenna his own, was really interesting from his point of view. The whole horseback riding was a nice way for them to spend time together getting to know one another. But for me that is where the story lost it focus. It really felt rushed. I think I would have liked it better if you had kept the pace the same and maybe made a series out of this story. But this is just my opinion and this is your story so you tell it the way you want to. I look forward to seeing what you write next.......

You are very right, I was very rushed with this. I had only read about the contest a few days before I submitted it. Also I misread when the deadline was and thought I had to submit it on the 21st, so it was very very rushed. I would have loved to go more into Chad and Emily, I would have also Loved to futher go into Nekko and Jenna. THese characters made their way into my heart.

Thanks for all the comments and the voting.

~LoriLeen

Loved it!!! There was only one thing that bothered me and you aren't the only one who did it, this is the second story on Lit I've come across that wrote something similar or the same. Its impossible for a penis to ACTUALLY enter the cervix...like Physically impossible, the opening is tiny and plugged with mucus, not only that but it would be excruciatingly painful for a woman (no matter how aroused) and she could become very sick from infection if he did manage to force it in there (which again he really couldn't).

Your writing is brilliant though so please don't stop, just remember the vagina is enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Could you possibly go more in depth with this story?...Now that its not so rushed for the constest could you continue where you left off when he was about to tell her? I'd love to know about how she took it if she got pissed or just accepted it right away. I know how it turns out but I'd love to hear more about how that that first year went. Loved your story thanks so much for sharing your talented gift of writing and story tellign with us.

Enjoyed your story....could you go further into detail with these characters??!!!!!!! Story ended to quickly

Enjoyed this, but that last section seems to come out of nowhere.

loved the storey

It left me with to many unanswered questions....like why the butler didn't like her...where were the rest of the pack..why didn't they like what he was doing? How she went from being so shy and a klutz to being a horny bitch in heat and all over him so quick from just a few drops of blood. Then she is in bed injured and he ruts with her as there was very little gentle love making and consideration of her injury during the sex and then he decides to be careful of her wounds when he gets of her. Next thing we know we jump ahead a year and her having twins.

This was a really good story. Really liked the premise of it but felt that it needed a little bit of editing for grammar. It also ended very quickly. There is a lot left to be explored. The part about the witches was interesting and could have added a twist that could have kept them apart. I would love if you revisited this story and fleshed it out a little more. It is very good though.

Loved it, just too short and seemed rush.

More please

Bad grammar and use of incorrect words (e.g. conscious instead of conscience) slows down the reading. I agree with others about lack of full story development, rushed storyline, hints about other characters that were never developed. As badly as the fall from the horse hurt her, no man or animal would rut with his mate while she was so badly injured. The witch's cemetery had nothing to do with the story and should have been deleted. The butler's dislike (pity?) should have been developed. Emily and her partner were all but omitted from the story. You may have had a good concept, but the story was very poor.

lol im sorry but most good stories who get the H or E or W have at least 6 or even 10 chapters and thats cuz they dont rush it and the make sure to balance it out between all characters making sure to tell eoungh detail about the minor characters and a whole alot about the two main or uh main coed characters and besides you can always take this down and repost it making it longer and even get all those rewards we still didnt learn about the two main characters nor did we learn of how he become a werewolf or what it was like for her to become one or even if she mated mated with the wolf wolf i say it two times meaning fucking that hairy wild beast with a raging cock lol but please do remeber a story is never short is it the length it has and the amount of love you pour into it you poured 1 cup of love becuz well lol really with how short it is felt like you was rushing it cuz you got sick of writing about them even though it was only 4 pages and this i liked the best of all lol this is the way to make your partner not cheat "Her sex would accept no other master, no other pleasure unless given by him, just as his body would accept no pleasure from others either." now thats how you can stop cheating lol ut it was a good read just short

A decent start,but wayyyyyyyyyyyy too short and seemed rushed.The grammer,comma's out of place, misspelling of words/meanings,made it a bit of a rough read.The idea behind the story is very good,just need to expand it to several chapter,(at least 5-6 or more)explain all people in it a bit more,needs lots more detail.Your off to a good start,dont stop writing,maybe get an editor or friend to proof read.I would read more of your stories,but i do prefer longer more intense reading material.

there was some trouble with changing the tense, like you changed from past tense to present and it made it confusing but if you fix that and like some of the other comments have said don't rush it so much. especially there at the end you jumped really far and it didn't really make sense. There are some minor grammar and word choice mistakes but I really like the idea and the characters, if you keep working on the story it will be really good.

This really was a good start to a story... Except I was surprised at the abrupt ending. I would have liked to see things play out. You have a lot of potential. Keep writing!

Really enjoyed the beginning, thought there were secrets about to be revealed - graveyard, werewolves, why so accident prone.

I loved the story. You had strong character development, a good plot line, and a good backstory set up. I liked the flow of the story and wish that you would have turned it into a longer volume than just one chapter. It had real potential, and while I like your epilogue it doesn't do much for the story. It doesn't answer any of the questions that you raised in the story, it's a happy ever after moment (it made me feel cheep). Please keep writing, for you have good ideas, just please leave us (the reader) with a cliff-hanger if you decide not to continue the story please.

is this the end? is there more?

So beautiful! More please! Maybe a prequel/sequel explaining the curse mentioned in your story? :-)

So what happened to Flower, the mare bitten by the copperhead?

It would be awesome if there was more to their story. Loved it.

I need more! This was great!

Too many things bugging. Her clumsiness is ridiculously exaggerated. The story lacks coherence, for example she took bath twice on the first day. Seems as if it was written as you go, without a thought to the whole.