An Indigo Bunting

"I left the pitcher on the kitchen counter."

"Ahh, I've probably had enough to drink. I'll just have a glass of water when we go inside."

"Can you turn it into wine?"

"You never know."

Just then we heard a truck roll down the road and put its brakes on. Then back-up beeping. Then brakes, stop and door slam.

"It's Jerry," I said as calmly as I could, although inside I was panicking.

"Your son? Oh my god! Doesn't he call first?"

"No. Never."

"All my clothes are in the house."

"Yup. We're busted."

I could discern the red hue in her face even with the poor landscape lighting.

"What do we do?" She was very apprehensive, especially I figured, at being naked. I flipped the hot tub lights off.

"Relax," I answered.

A few moments later the screen door opened, "Dad?"

"Jerry."

"There's a car in the driveway...I can't..."

"Jerry, it's so nice to have you come by, this is my hunting buddy Sophie. Sophie say hi to my son Jerry."

In the shadows of the poor lighting, snuggled right next to me Sophie poked her right hand up through the water, "Hi Jerry." The other arm was firmly draped across her tits which were underwater in the complete darkness.

"Hi." He was clearly confused, "Hunting buddy? You don't hunt Dad."

"Well...I've learned new things."

"Can I get the car pulled up so that I can park in the driveway?"

I answered before Sophie had a chance. "Yes, but you've got to do it. Sophie?"

"Mnnn?" She was clearly still in shock.

"Do you mind if Jerry goes into your purse and gets the keys?"

"Nnn..ooh."

"Kitchen?"

"I think so. Blue leather."

Jerry disappeared.

"What do we do?" She was anxious. Freaking out really.

"Relax Sophie. We're the adults here."

She took a deep breath. "Of course you're right. But here I am meeting your son for the first time, naked in your hot tub. My bustier and stockings are on the kitchen counter..."

"Along with my tux..."

"What's he going to think?"

"Sophie, I don't care what he thinks," I hesitated for a moment before I continued, "that's actually not true. I'm hoping that he's thinking...oh maybe I should havephonedbefore I unexpectedly dropped in on Dad's life." I picked up my Margarita plastic glass and regarded the tiny bit left, "When I think about it, he's the guy in the hot seat, not us." I put the glass back down.

Sophie simply took a very deep breath.

We heard first Sophie's Audi get moved, car doors opening and closing and then the Peterbilt engine roar to life. Then the backing up sounds and brakes.

"Sorry," I said. She was very apprehensive, I could tell even in the limited light.

"Frank," she almost whispered, "you have to understand..."

"Yes, I know. You're a lady naked in a hot tub."

"No. Thank you for thinking that but...but..."

"What?"

"It's a family situation...and he's a boy."

It all clicked in. She was panicking. She didn't have kids of her own. She came from an all estrogen family and yes she can deal with boys...as long as they're nine years old. She was way out of her comfort zone. And caught naked to boot!

I burst out laughing.

"Why are you laughing?!"

I couldn't explain.

"Frank. I just wanted to make a good impression with your son. You're being cruel."

It took me a moment to get my composure. "Sophie. You naked in a hot tub with me. Your clothes strewn all over the kitchen. And not just any clothes. Sexy clothes, a bustier. Trust me. You have made an impression. A hell of an impression. I can tell already, he's impressed. With you and with me. And the best part is, when he comes face to face with Lady Sophie, the school teacher, all his preconceived notions about you and us will be totally destroyed. You've got him over a barrel. He will be flabbergasted. He's just a kid. He won't see it coming."

I thought I saw a smirk in the dark shadows, half under water.

Eventually Jerry made his way back inside. True to form he made a bee-line for the refrigerator. I finished my Margarita, Sophie tried to coax another drop from the bottom of hers. I got out of the tub first and held her towel open so that she was covered as she got out herself. Safely wrapped in the fluffy towel Sophie and I carried our empty plastic glasses inside.

Jerry stood in the kitchen with his mouth open and half consumed peanut butter and jelly sandwich in hand. Lovie was at his feet waiting for a morsel.

"I've heard all about you Jerry, your father is very proud of you. He always speaks very highly of you." We placed our empty plastic glasses on the counter.

"I didn't know he hunted."

"He's learning very quickly."

"Just so you know Jerry," I said as I gathered up my tux and the little button thingys, "I'm going to need to get my car out in the morning, right after breakfast." I then added, "Is everything okay with you?" Sophie collected her clothes too. The black stockings were so obvious.

"Fine."

"What are you hauling?"

"Shirts I think."

With clothes in hand and still wrapped in towels we ascended the stairs as if nothing was untoward.

"Nice meeting you Jerry."

His mouth was full, but I could tell from his chewing sounds that he was completely perplexed.

*

...sunlit branches walking hand in hand. Warm. Happy...

I woke up in the morning to the very distinct feeling of my stiff cock being rubbed. Sophie's face was right in mine and she was grinning wildly. "Good morning love. Guess what I found."

I gave her a kiss, "Good morning Sophie, let me guess...a breakfast sausage?"

She ducked under the covers and hauled my knob into her mouth. Unfortunately and very reluctantly I had to pull away to go and pee. Sophie was truly disappointed.

As I sat there peeing a strange thought crossed my mind. I thought I was taking things too quickly. I thought I was barging in on Sophie's life. Maybe she's thinking that she's going too fast for me?

I ducked my head around the corner. "Wanna shower together?"

"Sure," she hopped out of bed. I just loved seeing her naked.

"I'm just going to shave first, wanna borrow my razor?"

"No, I've got my own."

And so we did. I shaved my face. Sophie shaved her tizzie, legs and armpits. Then we fucked in the shower. What a way to start the day.

Jerry was still in bed when we descended down the stairs. Sizzling bacon drew him out of his bedroom like a moth before a flame.

"Good morning Jerry," said Sophie as he stepped into the kitchen still dressed in pajamas and his brown hair in a bed-head tussle. He immediately started looking at Sophie trying to size her up.

Sophie was all dressed for the hike with jeans, long sleeve pink cotton shirt with collar, white thermal sleeveless vest with front zip, and hiking boots. Her Tilly hat was on the counter. She had her reading glasses on with the chain jowls swinging. She had a little make-up on and her fingernails were still bright red.

"Sophie, isn't it?"

"Yes. Sophie Cumberland." She was buttering toast.

"So, you're not just hunting buddies with my Dad...I mean...you do other things together too, right?"

"Indeed that is correct. Sometimes we eat and cook together, we talk about things too. About God and Jesus amongst other things," she smiled at him from above her glasses, "will you be joining us for breakfast?"

"Sure," he stammered.

"Very well. Perhaps you can set the table. Have you washed your hands this morning?"

I couldn't help but laugh as I whisked eggs. Jerry walked off to the washroom shaking his head.

The three of us sat and had breakfast consisting of bacon, toast, marmalade, scrambled eggs coffee and orange juice. Sophie and I were both dressed and Jerry in his pajamas with tousled hair.

"So where did you meet?"

"In a bookstore," Sophie answered, my mouth was full.

"Oh."

I swallowed.

"So what is it you're hunting for?"

"Bunting," I answered.

"That's right Jerry, we are hunting for Bunting" she smiled at him.

"What the hell's a Bunting?"

"I'm sorry," she answered, "did you mean,what is a Bunting?Because I'm sure I heard a reference tohellin your question."

Jerry stopped eating.

"That's right Jerry, we don't speak that way at the table, do we?"

"Whaa?"

We both smiled at him.

"Okay. What is a Bunting?"

"It's a bird." I answered.

Sophie added, "This particular bird is an Indigo Bunting."

"Indigo? So it's a blue bird?"

I lifted my hand and turned to Sophie. "Allow me."

"Certainly," she smiled.

"No Jerry. An Indigo Bunting is a bird that is blue. A Bluebird is completely different."

He stopped eating again, paused then asked, "Are you okay Dad?"

"I'm perfectly fine Son, thank you for asking."

"Okay, what do you hunt, the Bunting with?"

"Just our wits Jerry," Sophie answered with a smile, "some more toast?"

"No thanks, I'm done."

"Well thank you for breakfast Frank. That was very good."

"And thank you Sophie."

We both stared at Jerry.

"Did we just change our last name to Cleaver?"

"Leave it to Beaver to come up with a question like that. Oh, could you move your toy truck please?"

"Ward," asked Sophie, "would you please round up Lovie and everything else we will need while I clean up in the kitchen?"

"Certainly June," I kissed Sophie on the cheek as I stood up.

"I don't believe this."

*

I have to wonder what poor Jerry is thinking," I said to Sophie as we pulled out of the driveway.

"He seems a very nice young man."

Lovie farted in the back seat.

"Ohhh," "Ewww" we said simultaneously as we rolled down the windows.

"How did he know about Leave It To Beaver? He's far too young."

"It's the internet. Kid's these days aren't stupid."

About twenty minutes after we'd left, my cell phone rang in the Toyota.

"It's Matt. Calling on a Saturday morning?" I pressed answer.

"Hey Matt what's up? Listen you've caught me in the car and you are on speakerphone. I've got my friend Sophie with me, so don't say anything rude."

"Dad?"

"Yes? What is it?"

"I got a call from Jerry. He says you have a girlfriend."

"No Matt. I have a lady friend. Sophie is a lady, not a girl."

"Hello Mathew," she said with a smile, "I'm so looking forward to meeting you. Your father has told me all about you. He's very proud of you, you do know that?"

"Hi Sophie."

"I understand that you are studying Rhetoric."

"That's right."

"You see, I didn't know that rhetoric was a study subject, I thought it was a speaking and writing technique using logic and persuasion. What exactly is it that you are studying then?"

"Well...it's...a little hard to explain."

Sophie and I both burst into quiet laughter.

"So...so...why is it Son that you're actually calling me for?"

"Just to make sure you're okay Dad."

"Oh that's so sweet of you to worry about me." I turned to Sophie, "Isn't that nice of him to all of a sudden think about me, don't you think Sophie?"

"Yes I do believe so."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to use rhetoric to make a point. But it is odd Matt, you must agree, that you're phoning me out of the blue on a Saturday morning, and not actually wanting something. You're calling...just because you care? As I said, that is very sweet of you."

"Jerry said you're going hunting."

"He's correct," answered Sophie, "we're going hunting for Bunting."

"You're hunting for blue birds?"

I held up one hand to Sophie. "No. Not for Bluebirds. For a bird that is blue."

"Are you okay Dad?"

Sophie and I both burst out laughing.

"Your father is quite alright, and yes we are hunting for a bird that is blue. Is there anything in particular that you wish to ask? Anything that is concerning you, something that may have prompted this call?"

"Try to articulate your answer Matt. Or your question."

Sophie glared at me with an - oh you're so mean - look.

"No. No, I'm just..."

"Try Matt."

Sophie was shaking her head in disbelief.

"I just wanted to make sure you are okay."

"I'm okay. We're okay. Is that it?"

"Yeah that's it."

"Okay bye Matt. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Matt, it was so nice to speak with you."

"Okay bye."

I hit end.

"What was that all about?" she asked.

"I can tell you exactly."

"Okay."

"We leave. Jerry phones Matt. He's says - guess what Dad's up to? I came home last night. Dad's naked in the hot tub with some woman. Their clothes are all over the kitchen. His tux and what seemed liked stripper's clothes including long sleeve gloves with the fingers missing like frikkin' Madonna and a bat cape to boot. There's empty wine bottles, a half drained pitcher of Margaritas and empty glasses all over the place. Then they slide off upstairs dripping dressed only in white towels...into Dad's bedroom. God only know what they're up to but they're in the shower half of the morning and then I come down stairs and Dad's making breakfast with...Church Lady."

I loved her sing-song laughter.

"He just needed to check out if it was real or his brother was bullshitting him."

"I guess he found out."

"He certainly did. I'll bet he's on the phone to Jerry right now."

"Want to call him?"

"No. Too easy."

"Still, they're nice boys."

"They are. I'm very lucky."

She squeezed my bicep and smiled to me.

*

It was a bright sunny day, it actually warmed up a bit as we walked along the trail with Lovie following.

"I have to tell you something Sophie. And I know you are not going to believe me. And I am going to definitely run the risk of having you think I'm nuts."

"After the heresies that we've already confessed to each other? Okay." She said seemingly cautiously, "What is it?"

"You know the dream you've had about seeing an Indigo Bunting."

"Yes in sunlit branches."

"In amongst Goldfinches?"

"Yes."

"Were you holding hands with someone?"

"Perhaps. I know it was a happy dream."

"I've had the exact same dream."

"You're kidding me."

"No."

She paused before saying, "Okay. I don't believe you and you are nuts."

"See I knew you would say that. Clearly I'm clairvoyant."

"Are you serious or are you trying to be funny?"

"Oh, I'm dead serious."

"Why didn't you say anything before?"

"Because you would have thought I was nuts."

She simply stared at me.

"Two people sharing a dream," I said, "I suppose, may not be that strange a phenomena."

"Perhaps, but sharing a vivid dream?" she asked.

"Let me guess, you had it last night too."

"I did." She was looking at me funny. "Did you?"

"Yes and it's perhaps the fifth or sixth time I had that dream, and from what I can tell, we have it on the same nights."

"Are you making this up?"

"Not at all."

"You're serious."

"Yes."

"Then you explain the dream in your words."

"Okay. I'm walking through the woods, just like we are right now. It's warm, it's sunny. I'm happy. I see flitting in sunlit branches, a bunch of bright yellow birds, which I now understand to be Goldfinch. And then I see one solitary shiny, bright blue bird that is about the same size among them. It's an Indigo Bunting. I have a feeling that I'm holding someone's hand or something. But I can't see the hand or the other person. Yet I know someone is there. Nevertheless, it's a happy dream." I paused and then added, "That's it. That's the dream."

She smiled and reached out for my hand.

"Did I describe it properly?"

"Yes, only I would add that the leaves are glistening too."

"Yes, I agree. The leaves and the whole tree are vivid in the sunlight."

"Very strange."

I gave her hand a little squeeze. "You know what it means? I asked.

"No."

"Here birdy birdy! Seriously. It means we're both nuts."

"Okay," she said, "but I was going to go with...look for Goldfinch to find the Bunting."

"Not a bad strategy," I concurred.

We walked on. "I know the whole thing is strange," I said, "and has been completely dumbfounding me, especially because you have the exact same dream. So what's it supposed to mean. Find the Bunting and you find love?"

"Maybe. But I may have found love already."

"Find the bird, find happiness?"

"Could be. Tell me are you unhappy?"

"I'm certainly happier with you by my side."

She smiled and squeezed my hand. "Me too."

"But I have to say I like your - find the Goldfinch strategy."

"Hmm."

We walked silently hunting for Bunting for a few minutes.

"I'm almost afraid to ask, Frank, but just give me one example of why evolutionary science is wrong."

"You know I just scoffed at that word."

"Of course I do. That's why I said it."

I stared at her for a moment with a mock grimace on my face. She smiled in amusement.

"Okay whales."

"Are they going to turn out to be big dinosaurs again?" She asked.

"Ooo a little testy."

She rolled her eyes and held out an open palm, "Well, I'm waiting."

"Okay. Whales, dolphins, porpoises are all cetaceans. They're all mammals, they have mammaries, that's what defines them as mammals. Tits and milk."

"Right."

"The standard evolution story is that vertebrates, fish, developed in the sea, crawled out and became amphibians, then lizards, then big lizards and then eventually mammals."

"That's my understanding."

"Do you teach that?"

"Not in grade four."

"I guess I wouldn't know, I missed grade four. Anyway one of the mammal families decided to take to the sea again and as a result we have cetaceans, whales. Right?"

"That is my understanding."

"Indeed, the fossil record is quite clear, they date back some fifty million years."

"Okay."

"But, those clever scientists came up with a new tool, a powerful tool that would help them align all of the evolutionary tree branches once and for all. DNA analysis."

"Excellent."

"And it turns out that whale DNA in most closely aligned with the hippopotamus."

"That would make perfect sense to me. Hippos live in water."

"They do. Except that hippos and their entire family date back only fifteen million years."

She just stared at me.

"So I guess the story is: fish came out of the water, evolved into mammals and some went back into the water, became the whales in the fossil record, came out again, became hippos, then went back in again to become modern whales."

"I'm not sure what to say."

"Well I know what to say, it's obvious bullshit. Do you want more examples? There's lots."

"No that's quite alright thank you."

"Oh but let me give you one that is actually a little bit funny."

"Okay."

"You are familiar I'm sure, with that evolution of man drawing in profile. Crouching ape, slightly bigger ape, early man carrying a stick, Neanderthal man usually with a club on his shoulder and then finally us, homo sapiens, sometimes carrying a briefcase."

"Yes, of course."

"It's the out of Africa theory. Mainstream evolution."

"Yes, of course. Lucy."

"That's it. We can trace our DNA back to Lucy in Africa. So, the standard evolutionary theory is that early homo sapiens came out of Africa through the middle east, the ones that turned right, that is east, their skin tone lightened to just a brown in what is now India and even lighter in China. Those that turned west and north, the skinevolvedinto white, even turning hair blonde and eyes blue in the far north west. Not evolved to the point of species differentiation, but on its way. The point being that according to standard evolutionary theory, Africans are a less evolved form of homo sapiens."

She stared at me funny again.

"Well that's not exactly politically correct is it? Isn't that racism? That's Aryan with a Y."

"Oh dear."

"And so the DNA scientists got their sticky little fingers in and looked at the various races and do you know what they found?"

"What?" There was a look of panic in her eyes.

"We're all one hundred percent human! Shazzam! Who would have thunk it?"