All Comments on 'An Unlikely Romance Ch. 04'

Your twist was insanely good. Can't wait for the next chapter.

i think him writing a letter of apology about the cop would be a mindfuck to the cops, but i would do it just for the fun of it too.as always your story you write what you want.

i'm giving this a 5 as it well deserves again... even though for me it has moved out of the realm of erotica. it's in the same league as, say, stephen king, in my opinion.

it is slightly unconvincing to me that he would feel this sort of remorse, or maybe it's because it would work only with a lot more elaboration and exposition. i don't actually buy the whole "i'm a sincerely good guy while at the same time being a hooker killer" thing - can guys really divorce their thoughts from actions in this way?

Still doesn't seem logical that a cop who is so informed of the serial killer (and wants to nab him herself) can go into a hotel with a stranger and not have access to cell phone/backup or carry mace or simply not be more wary of who she is alone with. Secondly, if Monica is so dedicated to finding the killer, she sure hasn't examined the video tapes enough to study at the body parts and movements of the killer and associate them with Simon's, whom she sees every day. And where is he stashing that repeatedly cleaned kitchen knife between stabbings, that no one has found it?

I'll keep reading as this does intrigue. A lot of TV shows and movies hold a wide audience, even though there are moments of illogical points here and there. Example thoughts while viewing a slasher B movie: "OH GAD< WHY DID SHE OPEN THAT CLOSET WHEN CLEARLY THERE WERE SCRAPING SOUNDS AND BLOOD RUNNING FROM UNDER THE DOOR? STUPID WOMAN!! she should have run and called the cops... lol...

PS...the section in the middle need to be converted to first person narrative. "I" did this and that has suddenly become "Simon" did this and that.

This might be my new favourite chapter, but maybe it might tie with ch. 2. I don't know. Tough choice.

Yes, agree with the previous commenters that there are some issues that niggle at the back of your mind while reading, but I'm more than willing to engage in the willing suspension of disbelief for such great writing. Great work.

and now we move forward. TK U MLJ LV NV

Another well written, creative chapter. There are questions I am struggling with but I want to finish before I voice them. However I agree with the post about a Vice Cop going in with out protection? Even if she was doing it on her own time would she really not have a weapon or back-up (ie friend) of some kind?

Are Simon's feelings for Monica pushing the guilt through him? Just wondering.

Another great chapter. The building suspense is intense!

so simon's on the road to redemption and understanding, while this doesn't absolve him from his past, its a small step for him to go to therapy

Look, this is a nasty, twisted story, but well written.

I'd vote but no stars choice is presented

I'm using the apple safari browser.