Angel Flight

"I hadn't thought of that," James admitted. "Either way, you choose, okay?"

Kimber let the driver know their destination, and he nodded without comment. A few minutes later, they pulled up in front of a restaurant called 'Old Ebbit Grill' an iconic tavern offering American meals, to include their specialty of oysters on the half shell, in Victorian-style digs.

James paid the cabbie, then got out and went around to offer Kimber his hand. She took it and when she stood up, she was face to face with him for a moment. Their eyes met only briefly, and both of them felt that momentary return of whatever was going on before the eye contact ended and James again offering her his arm.

"Nice digs," he said when they stepped inside.

"I love this place," she told him.

"Right. You travel here a lot, huh?" he said.

"Yes. Seattle-to-DC is my route, and I'm here two or three times a month," she told him. "I don't go out to nice places too often, but when I do this is one of my favorites."

It was nearly six o'clock when they left, and both of them told the other they couldn't remember the last time they'd had so much fun just talking and eating. They'd covered many different subjects from work to politics and the military to religious beliefs, and without exception found themselves agreeing.

Each new revelation seemed to top the one before it.

"No way! Get of here!" and other such comments accompanied each new thing on which they agreed.

At one point, they were both bubbling with enthusiasm as the conversation went back and forth at the speed of light amidst a whole lot of smiles and a bunch of laughter. And then, at one point, Kimber stopped smiling causing James to ask if everything was okay.

"Oh, sure. I guess I just had a pang of guilt for having such a good time so soon after losing Miles."

"No, that's completely understandable," he replied. "And yet, I'm certain he'd want us to laugh, have fun, and enjoy life."

"You're right," Kimber agreed. "That's what he and so many others did for us. To do anything else would be a kind of slap in the face, I suppose."

"I think that's true. We need to never forget, but we also need to keep in mind we have all this freedom because of men like that."

James got even more serious then said, "Can you imagine a world where Germany had won the war?"

Kimber shook her head and said, "No. I really can't."

They sat quietly for a few moments before Kimber said, "James? I can't thank you enough for today. This has been very special. Even the incredibly sad part of losing Miles."

"No, I'm the one who should be thanking you, Kimber. I can't imagine how awful it would have been to sit around by myself reliving what happened over and over. You've turned a terrible tragedy into a day I'll never forget."

"The feeling is very mutual," she said sweetly.

She seemed like she wanted to say something else, and when she didn't, James asked, "Did you want to tell me something?"

"Oh, well. I...I was just thinking. It's kind of a shame that you're...a passenger."

It took him a second to get it, but he realized she was referring to her personal rule of not dating passengers.

"I won't be after tomorrow," he told her. He didn't smile this time, but a smile wasn't called for. He was being serious because he meant what he was saying.

"I know, but..."

"But?" he asked.

"James. You told me you're 26. I'm...well, I'm not twenty-anything. I'm not even thirty-anything. I'm..."

"Amazing," he said with the smallest smile. "And unbelievably beautiful."

That feeling washed over Kimber's entire body as she sat there listening to him, and taking in his words.

"May I ask you something?" she said, her eyebrows slightly raised.

"Of course. Anything."

"Is it possible that whatever's going on is like what you experienced in high school? You know, the infatuation kind of thing brought on after a traumatic loss?"

James sat there and looked right at her and thought for a moment before he spoke.

"No. That's not possible," he told her quietly. "I clearly remember what that was like, and this...whatever this is...is nothing like that."

"So...what do you think...this...is?" she asked.

James held out a hand, and after looking at it then looking back at him, Kimber slowly raised her hand out of her lap and let him take it.

"This...is real. I can't tell you exactly what it is, but I can tell you it's very real."

She was looking at him again then looked away when she said, "I know it seems real, but let's be honest. We've been through a very emotional experience today. Yes, we have quite a few things in common, but it's just...circumstances."

She looked back up at him then said, "Right?"

"Yeah. I suppose so. I mean, it's not like you and I could be...you know."

"Exactly. There's obviously some kind of attraction going on, but you can't base a relationship on attraction."

Again, Kimber waited before adding, "Right?"

"No, of course not," James agreed. "Attraction is only superficial. It's just the thing that draws two people together. It's not the basis of any real relationship. It's just the..."

"What, James? It's just the what?" Kimber asked, her hand still in his.

"I was going to say the foundation that makes a relationship possible," he told her.

He waited for a moment then asked, "That's not the same as the basis of a relationship, though."

He paused again, then like Kimber, asked, "Right?"

She slowly took her hand away before replying.

"I'm not sure. Maybe we're trying to analyze a heart thing with our heads. Or maybe there's no heart thing there, and we're talking in circles."

"And let's not forget the age difference," James said. "How could we ever overcome that?"

"Yes. Right. I'm not just a couple of years older than you, I'm..."

"Nearly five years older," James teased to lighten the mood.

The tension lifted, Kimber laughed, then said, "Right! I'm almost five years older than you."

"With a gap like that, who would even bother? Talk about a 'bridge too far'."

"Seriously! Five years is...a lot. It's..."

James saw her multiplying in her head and tried not to laugh before she continued.

"That's...sixty months. Count 'em. Sixty!"

"Whew. Sixty. That's almost as old as you," he said very seriously.

Kimber sat up straight, her eyes opened wide, her jaw dropped, and when James saw her reach for a piece of salad, he held up his hands and said, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Kimber waited until he lowered them then threw it at him anyway.

"Sixty. Ha!" she said with a flip of her head.

There was another awkward pause before James said, "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met, Kimber."

His voice was calm and quiet, and his eyes were so serious, it made Kimber stop moving. She, too, sat there without a smile as she listened to him. She couldn't remember the last time a compliment from a man—any man—had left her speechless, but what James just said made her feel like she couldn't talk.

"You don't believe me?" he asked quietly as she sat there staring at him.

"No," she said just above a whisper.

"No, you don't believe me?" he asked again, feeling very confused.

"No. I mean, yes. I mean, no I don't not believe you."

She knew she wasn't making any sense, but the right words wouldn't come.

"Kimber?" he began as he held out his hand again.

Her brain told her hand not to move, but it clearly had a mind of its own as it raised itself up and laid itself in his hand for a second time.

"This is more than just physical attraction."

She didn't answer for a moment then finally said, "I'm scared, James. For the first time in my life since my husband died, I'm...scared."

"Of me?" he asked.

"No. Of course not. You're gentle and sweet."

"Then what is it?"

"I...I don't know. I only know I'm afraid. I'm sorry. I know it's irrational, but that's how I feel."

"It's okay," James told her. "How about we call it a day, and get some rest? We have another stressful day ahead of us, and once it's over, maybe we can try and figure out what's bothering you."

"You see? You really are sweet," Kimber said as she tried to smile.

"Come on. Let's get a taxi and head back to the hotel," he told her as he mustered up a smile of his own.

"But what about Arlington?"

"It's getting late and it's already dark so I guess it'll have to wait," he told her.

As they rode back to the Sheraton, both of them were thinking about the way things often change. How was it they'd gone from idle observers of the memorial ceremony to having one of the best times of their lives to sitting in silence in less than twelve hours?

James wasn't sure but thought the most likely answer was that Kimber realized how big the age difference was and panicked. He couldn't blame her. It made sense that it would be a very big concern to any rational person. And yet he knew that it didn't matter to him.

What he didn't know was that Kimber had just concluded that the thing she most feared was telling him how she felt and being rejected. As much as she liked James, and as much as she wanted to trust him, her experience was telling her that getting involved meant getting hurt. Yes, he might find dating an older, still-reasonably-attractive woman her age fun and exciting for a while, but at some point he'd wake up and realize she was a lot older than him, and if she let him 'in', it would tear her apart to have to let him go. So keeping him out seemed to be her only means of protection.

As they walked inside together, the younger flight attendant who'd given James her number saw them.

"Oh, hi there!" she said to him as they got close. She glanced at the lead flight attendant then said, "Kimber."

Kimber was actually relieved to see her and told James, "I had a really nice time today. I think I'm just going to go upstairs and maybe watch a movie or something."

The younger girl perked up and said, "See you in the morning," as she smiled at James.

He only had time to tell Kimber, "Me, too," before she turned and walked away.

He could tell she wasn't being mean. She was just still upset by whatever it was that was bothering her.

James felt this younger woman's arm in his and that brought him back to reality.

"She's not a lot of fun," the pretty girl said. She leaned closer then said, "But I am."

James tried not to get angry as he gently removed her arm.

"I'm pretty tired, too. It's been a really long day."

"But it's only like four or five o'clock to our bodies," she said with a wicked smile. "And spending a few hours with me will relax you like nothing else. I promise."

James managed not to shake his head in disgust. He just said, "That sounds really nice, but not tonight, okay?"

"What? Are you upset about that old guy dying? I saw it on TV. I mean, it was sad and everything, but he was like really, really old. It can't be that big of a surprise, right?" she said in that annoying, bouncy, too-cheerful voice he detested.

"I'll uh, I'll see you tomorrow morning at the airport," he said as he walked away.

"I'm a light sleeper if you change your mind!" she called out. "Room 1906. Anytime, okay?"

James shook his head but just barely as he walked away trying to stay calm. This girl was everything he wasn't while, at least as far as he knew, Kimber was everything he'd ever thought of wanting in a woman. This girl wanted to screw his brains out, and Kimber wasn't even talking to him.

"Fuck," he said to himself out of frustration as he waited for the elevator.

James wasn't angry or even upset. It was definitely more a frustration at the complexity of life. Even living in today's world with all of its amazing conveniences, life still presented each person with a never-ending series of challenges. One either dealt with them day in and say out, or those challenges subsumed that person.

James wasn't the kind to be eaten alive by life itself so he took a deep breath and resolved to address the problem once Miles was back home.

Kimber didn't intentionally avoid James the following morning. She just had to get to the airport well before him. Even so, he was there, albeit in a different place, not long after she arrived.

The airlines was obviously expecting him. When he checked in, he was told his return flight was free which really meant they were giving him a voucher for another flight to be used anytime within the next twelve months. He thanked the ticket agent for the unexpected gift then headed for security.

Once he got there, a TSA agent let him know there was an Air Force colonel waiting for him, and another agent escorted him out onto the tarmac just as a three-vehicle 'motorcade' arrived. One of them was a black hearse which was carrying the flag-draped coffin (which would later be replaced with an actual casket) of Miles Stewart.

A small detail of six uniformed service people exited a van and smartly marched to the rear of the hearse. The door was opened, the six-person team saluted the flag, then prepared to move Miles's body to the cargo hold of the plane. As it passed by, James put his hand on his heart while the colonel saluted.

"I heard about this on the news last night," the TSA agent said once the detail was inside the plane.

James wasn't sure what to say so the man kept talking.

"It was a real good segment. They made the man that died sound like a real hero."

"He was," James said quietly. "In his own quiet way, he was a hero."

The man nodded then said, "Okay. I need to get you back inside. The captain wants to talk to you, so we'll get you on board the plane ahead of time, and you two can take care of business."

James thanked him, as well as the colonel, then followed the agent up a ramp that led directly to the waiting jet. The TSA agent shook James's hand, wished him well, then handed him off to the pretty, young flight attendant he finally noticed was named Jennifer.

"Gee, what a shock," James said to himself about the way he thought of 'Jennifers'.

"Hey, handsome," she said. Then more quietly she said, "You'll never know what you missed out on last night."

"No, I'm sure it would have been great," James replied without emotion just as the captain walked up.

"Mr. Kirk?" he said as he extended his hand.

"Yes. James," he said.

The pilot smiled then said, "I'm not gonna say a word—Captain."

James smiled back and thanked him.

They talked for a minute or so and James found himself on board alone except for the crew. As he passed the galley, he saw Kimber who knew he was there.

"Mornin'," James said.

"Oh, hi, James," Kimber said. "I see you already spoke with the captain."

"I did."

"Can I get you anything?" she asked.

"No thanks. I'm good."

"Okay, well, you can go ahead and have a seat if you like."

"Do you maybe...feel like talking?" he asked politely.

"I'm not sure there's much to talk about," she said without looking at him. The way she said it wasn't mean. It was just a statement of how she was feeling. Or perhaps how she thought she was feeling.

"So...yesterday wasn't real?" he asked without any edge in his voice.

"No. It...it was very real. Maybe even...too real," she said quietly as she continued getting things ready.

Now befuddled, James decided to let it go.

"Okay. Well, I'll let you take care of business here. I...I just want you to know it not only was very real to me, it was also very pleasant, and...well, I'd very much like to see you again, Kimber."

She didn't respond so James gave up and found his seat.

The day before had really thrown Kimber for a loop. It caused her to have to reexamine several things she thought were set in stone. Like dating passengers. Like dating someone that much younger than her. And worst of all feeling so many things for someone she barely knew. Perhaps she'd be able to sort through it all at some point, but for now she'd retreated to a neutral corner to protect herself from having to think—or feel—too much.

She looked up as he walked away, and just seeing him made all of the conflicting emotions she was feeling come crashing down on her at once. She redoubled her efforts to stay busy, and when boarding began, she was relieved to be able to lose herself in the anonymity of welcoming a new group of strangers on board.

That lasted until the captain made the announcement about the fallen hero they were carrying home. As he explained the situation and what an 'angel flight' was, Kimber found herself choking up. Most of it was for Miles while some of it was for herself at having witnessed his passing. And yet she knew that the common thread running through it all was the handsome young man the captain also mentioned and the time they'd spent together. What she couldn't understand was how knowing anyone for that short length of time could cause so much mental consternation. And yet it was, and knowing that it was just made matters worse.

Kimber hadn't served economy class in several years, but she told Jennifer they were switching sections without explaining why. Her younger charge was thrilled to have the opportunity to see the handsome guy in first class she still hadn't given up on. She lived in the Seattle area, so this time she wrote out her address along with her phone number.

When she delivered his in-flight meal, she said, "Feel free to drop by anytime. Day or night."

James shook his head and didn't reply. He wasn't very hungry and the reason why was obvious. There was a very beautiful, older woman on his mind, and until this tension was resolved, he wouldn't be able to move on.

As he sat there picking at the food in front of him, he was trying to understand why, for the first time in his life, a woman was causing so much mental turmoil. There'd never been a time when he'd fixated on anyone like this, and especially after getting the kind of cold shoulder Kimber had just shown him.

In any other case he'd have jettisoned any thought of her that very moment and moved on to something else. So why couldn't he do that with her?

For the entire flight, each time Kimber walked by his seat, she didn't even look down. James was torn between getting up and trying to discuss this then and there and giving her space. The logical part of his brain tried telling him it wasn't worth it; to just let it go. But whatever was meant by 'the heart', that part of him wouldn't have it. It told him to be patient. Don't push. Let her work through this. Give her time.

By the time they landed that part of his brain had won the battle, and he resolved not to bring it up. For now. At some point, he'd talk to her again. He didn't even have her number, but he did know where she worked, and if this didn't get resolved before they parted company, he'd find her and let her know how he felt. That is, if he could figure out exactly how it was he felt.

When the plane landed, the captain asked everyone to remain seated after they pulled into their gate. He let them know that Mr. Kirk would exit the plane and take his place outside as a group of service personnel in uniform waited for Mr. Stewart's remains to be removed from the aircraft.

James had never 'heard' so much silence in his life as when the plane stopped and the engines were turned off. It felt like every eyeball was on him as he stood up. He nervously glanced back and saw many people smile at him, and a few had tears in their eyes.

Someone quietly called out, "God you bless you!" then several others followed suit. Then it became utterly silent again except for the voice of a small child that said, "Why is everybody just sitting here, Mommy?"

Kimber opened the door and stood there as he walked by. He looked at her, and although she didn't smile, her eyes told him that there was still some kind of connection between them. He was almost out of reach when he felt her touch his sleeve. He stopped and turned around and heard her say something very quietly.