All Comments on 'Another Loss'

A great story. Best I've read on here for a long time.

...very moving tale. However, I don't think he'd have gotten charged for beating the guy in the ring.

and the same pair show ways to smooth the shocks. TK U MLJ LV NV

Author, you get many "atta boys" for posting such an excellent story. Do agree that since the fight was in the ring with a waiver signed, should not of been any legal ramifications.

and not disappointed, either

who submit cuckold stories.

Thanks for sharing.

Truly enjoyed this story and your writing. You have a new fan up here in Canada :). Please keep writing in this section. We have so very few true LW writers left here, most have fallen to the dark side to the Wimp Ass Castrated Cuckold (WACC) stories. Thanks for sharing!!!

The topic of losing a child in a LW story was a bold move, but you pulled it off. I've experienced the loss of a child followed by the destruction of my marriage. I could write novels on the emotions involved in that trauma and still be left wanting to add more. You kept all of the emotion in your story on the surface and keeping it to 3 pages was perfect, almost a flash story for as much as you got into it.

I've been reading here for years and this is the first comment I've ever posted, you hit a nerve.

Thank you!

I think you should be proud of this effort. The only problem I had, was not enough info about the motivations of Dana. Perhaps if more had been revealed from her private counseling sessions. Despite how well this story wrapped up, I was left asking what happened, really? Also, it was a little confusing in the time-line. The order of events, seemingly off. I appreciate that you did some of that stylistically, but it never cleared up how much time had passed between some of these turning-point events. That said, I think the mood you tried to capture was there in full force, and you were very successful in conveying the sense of dual loss that drove the story. Well done, if only in need of a little tightening up. Thanks!

More realistic and nicely balanced. Good one!

Nice story, strong emotions, nice ending, well done

Story. I really enjoyed reading it.

made my face wet

...but I woulda let Dana know that I knew who she was with & why he looked the way he did. At the very least given an implication.

It's all there. The soaring highs alternating with subterranean lows. I appreciated the skill that went into constructing this hyper-reality depicted yet felt removed from the story & it's characters.Jidoka has a gift for capturing intensity in many forms no doubt..

Yet in choosing to depict little else, he hovers on the precipice of self parody. There's evidently an avid market for this judging by other comments. Michael Bay should be contacted for the film rights to this story. Think 'Accidental Tourist with MMA subplot.****

The is nothing new here at all. Several well-known LW have done this sort of story before. Invariably always comes down to the fact that the husband gets blamed for the death .. and is not allowed to mourn... Desperately tries to cling to the marriage ... Usually involve some sort of marital therapy ...hopes that the wife pulls out of it and of course she never does... ... And of course she just HAS to fuck other men and of course she just HAS to do it in front of the husband.

Boring

Why doesn't someone to a story about the death of a child dramatically impacting the husband/ man and affecting the marriage from his point of view?

oh that's right ...men aren't supposed to have emotions and feelings ...I forgot

I hope you give us a part 2. You set this story up for him to fall in love and marry this widow.i don't get why his wife lost her way to cheat after there loss. As far as HarrinVA comments three are from left field this guy is not of mainstream opinions . Always has to be contraversal.

Why didn't they go to a counselor immediately? Perhaps then the little girl would still be looking for another Papa.... Well done

Needs some editing but rotherwise most enjoyable. Oh by the way, don't be such a fool, Harry VA - this was by no means a cookie cutter story.

So, she blames the husband, fucks around, rubs his nose in it, toys with the courts (the Dr knows she was not changing), and gets off without any payback? I am not a BTB lover, but this was so offensive that she did everything and nothing came to her. Big deal, a divorce. She was trying for that anyway.

Well written, but the story moved me in a bad way.

Val

...and well worth while reading. I am anxious to read more of it!

Please don´t take too long.

Or....not so much. The author can get to the deep emotional cuts very well. Painful. I've enjoyed the author's prior work very much, and now added him/her as a favorite. Couldn't take too many of his stories in a row, however. Not sure I really understood where the wife was coming from-obviously a very crazy and self-destructive place. Seems like she finally realized the damage she was doing, but was just a few minutes too late to avert disaster. So, it was a tragic story. There is really only so much a man can take, an emotional line beyond which he will not be able to return. I thought this touched on that effectively. When hate, real hate, becomes a part of the equation, it's all over but the crying.

Editorially, I am not entirely sure that the hopeful ending should have been included in a tale so focused and short, but the juxtaposition was interesting. I guess I am on the fence about it.

Also not entirely sure why the lover-boy was bound and determined to have it out with the hubby of the woman he did one time, and why the hubby would have had criminal charges stick when they both signed release forms and "fought" with gloves and headgear in a gym; can't quite figure it out. No matter, those quibbles won't detract from the 5* I will give the story.

There is nothing worse than to lose a child. It puts having a cheating wife in perspective. Of course, these stories are generally sad, but this one is painfully sad.

Damn, this is my "feeding the ducks." with a few modifications. mine was interracial and had a little more of something to it. but i liked this one.

Three months and he's "over his kid's death" and wondering what the hell is wrong with his wife? Really? This guy is a fucking asshole, no wonder she ended up cheating on him. Grief like the loss of a child is just as horrible for a mother as a father, and his trite way of dealing with it is offensive. I like the BTBs and as a cheating whore, she does have it coming, but jesus Christ. Someone needs to shoot this prick in the head.

And then shoot the therapist for not putting this dumb fuck in his place.

Good story. Liked the underlying tension; Kyle's tension vs. Dana's accusations and marital assault.

Great tale.

Thx !

Because of one sentence, He only miss her when he breathed. Damn!!!! to me that said it all. Thank for sharing this great read.

your stories follow a predictable plot: wife sins; husband finds out; wife really loves husband; husband really loves wife BUT cannot go on with the marriage even though the wife is really repentant; wife really grieves but husband finds unexpected replacement, per usual.

Another amazing story. Your characters are so well developed that I feel connected to them in such a short period of time. So authentic and insightful regarding the human condition and psyche. Five stars.

Given your ability, I would love to see you write a follow up to this where you delve into the wife's psyche. Given the husbands questions at the end regarding why she blamed him and felt the need to punish him, I think it would be quite insightful. Many people have done that before, where the wife gives her side of the story, but I think you have he ability to capture the motivations, emotions and agony that she unquestionably was experiencing and drove her to cheat.

This shares a unique characteristic to the other story you posted today. You wrote both with such skill that I think it is easy to understand why each wife chose to cheat. In each story I felt like the wives cheated because of deep emotional distress. Ultimately, in my humble opinion, they both come across as sympathetic characters. Even more than that, I think you made forgiveness an easy thing to ultimately extend (once all the cards were on the table). However, in both stories the husband is unable to get past one small detail standing in the way of reconciliation. One might be tempted to think of these husbands as petty. If they can forgive, if they can understand the extenuating circumstances, why can't they reconcile? In this story the husband even states that he knows his wife wont do it again. So, Why let one seemingly insignificant detail stand in the way of embracing obviously repentant and hurting wives? Because these details were far from insignificant. It's not simply a question of where she fucked this guy, as in which room. It is that she fucked him on the daughters bed. Regardless of his love for her, of his fond memories, he will always hate her for that one seemingly little detail. How could she do that? You even highlighted that little detail, elevating that moment by having the wife trace the flowers on the bedspread as she is getting banged. That made that moment in the story so poignant, and I feel like that was your intended focal point of the story. You captured in that one moment the very reason that it was not an insignificant detail. I could easily say the same for your other story and how the husband fixated on the moment she told the truth. Brilliant. If others don't get that, fuck them!

Rephil....thanks for explaining WACC....being a newbie, I never got that acronym...

And thanks to the Author for writing a moving story...you touched me and made your story 'real' to me. Keep up the great work.... I enjoy your writing.

Loved it at the end.

Sad, moving story. No way this wife could be reconciled with; she went way to far. I did like the ending - almost an epilogue - turned the corner from the darkness contained within the rest of the story.

I know it ended for the best, but I have to be honest, I was hoping for a reconciliation! She did push Kyle too far, but they both suffered an unimaginable loss!

I would like to see another part where they at least become friends again

As one commenter noted it is the details that matter. Dana's love for Kyle had always been flawed right from the beginning when she chose to break up with him to have fun. When a great personal tragedy occurs two people who love each other come together to comfort each other. Dana knew she had betrayed her husband with that first kiss (a small detail) which would lead to other actions to drive him away. Instead of honoring the memory of her child she spit all over it. The author highlighted those critical moments or details which tell people who you are. Dana calling her boy toy for help. Walking out of her counseling session or choosing the day of session to cheat on Kyle. Kyle choosing to settle things with Jake at a private gym. These are all details but the author use them to tell us all about what is really going with the characters. Dana really wanted to destroy her marriage and she is surprised when she succeeds in doing so. Even if Kyle had taken her back how would she respect him and how would he trust her? Kyle might well believe that she would not cheat on him again but that is now. What will happens if some other tragedy occur in her life who knows how she will respond?

Dana did push it too far - no argument - but she also deserves a good life - she handled a massive tragedy poorly - so many people do. She lost her whole life too and even if her uncontrolled grief caused he to help destroy it she found her way back. She deserves to be seen winning something too, what she did was not like so many selfish bitches all calculating it was mental instability. Give her a break - let Kyle move on but let her too.

The death of a child usually destroys the marriage of the parents.

Even a stronger marriage than Kyle and Dana had.

She needed space, he needed support. Lose/Lose situation. All the therapy in the world won't help.

Nicely written. Would love a Chap 2.

Thx.

One of the best tales ever posted on Literotica.

Glitches in text disrupt the reader.

You could have an interesting sequel in which Dana's and Kyle's lives either parallel each other or connect again. Neither is horrible and both are understandable. Interesting characters like you create here can be revived by you.

"Kyle was seated atop Jake in full guard." If he is on top, he is in mount. Full guard is when one opponent is on top, but the other opponent has his legs wrapped around him. It is not a seated position.

I hope you can put togeather another chapter to this story!

I liked the story but felt there was a major disconnect. The premise behind Dana's actions toward Kyle was that she blamed him for their daughter's death. Since it was her parents that were watching the child when she was killed, that is quite a stretch. Some disclosure of what she found out with the therapist might have explained that, however I suspect the author was worked into a corner with no way to make the connection so nothing about her sessions was disclosed. We are left having to make that leap of faith and I cannot.

Furthermore, there was no disclosure of why Dana decided to do the deed with Jake in her daughter's room. Was her intent to use that to get back at her husband or was there some other reason.

In the end, I am left wondering if Kyle would have attempted to reconcile with Dana if she had fucked Jake in their bedroom. Was the fact that she did it the last straw or was it the fact that she did it in the girl's room?

Too many unanswered questions for me to get the full enjoyment of this story. You are a very good writer though so please keep at it and thanks.

I forced my way to the end, but was never sure that I understood the story. Story idea was good, but delivery was too confusing.

I too was confused, pain and hurt of a loss such as their daughter is typical and normal. but, after their meeting I do not get it.. nothing she did really was a true act of cheating it was psychological due to deep trauma. They lost their only daughter. I would have enjoyed it a lot more if their meeting ended with both tearing up the divorce, going back to counselling and having another baby.. living happily ever after.

how te hell do u explain what she did if it wasn't cheating and fucking another man while married? She intentionally cheated and planned it out to inflict the most damage. Then again where was the allowance for her husbands grieving over his daughter. In no way does her mental state remove her moral and legal obligations under the marriage contract.

Started reading your stories yesterday and enjoyed it all. This last one I finish felt like you hurried the ending.

All were basically similar that nice people made bad decision and ended with the harsh reality of human nature. Except for one, stories ended up just like any happy ending. Happy endings is always a welcome. Patiently expecting for more of your work and oh....a big THANK YOU for sharing.

To those who was not impressed with your work; they need to write their own stories because that is what just this is and no need to be harsh with someone doing their best.

Am always surprised to find sweet flowers among the thorn weeds in this site.

Jidoka, keep up the good work! While your at it, am going to read your favorites. =)

You seem to have a real talent for telling stories that use serious emotional reaction and interaction of your characters as a significant element. I can understand all of the passion in Another Loss. Sometimes a loss is swift and sudden as in your story. Other times the loss is drawn out in agony. Loss is fertilizer for raw emotion.

Very good story.

It's interesting how the good writers write very little and the popular writers endlessly rewrite the same story down to the same cliches. This is very good writing but needs to be worked on tenfold to draw out the full value from what is a very potent concept.

The very superior way he leads the reader thru emotions in an excellent story is a work of a genius. This very entertaining story is by far the best I had ever read. Thank you Sir for giving us this gem.

' roscovich '

I'm sorry. I stopped after the first few paragraphs. I'm sure it's a good, no a great, story. I wrote some stuff about kids with leukemia a few years ago and now I wished I hadn't. Maybe some day I'll read this.

Today, I was able to read all of your stories! I really enjoyed reading them. Thank you for sharing them with us.

I hope Dana is miserable.....and i'd much prefer that he and Abi find love. There IS life and love after divorce

You got tears before the first third of the first page.

Please-please-please don't do a follow up where the ex-wife shows up!

Good read

I'm glad to see a tiny little bit of a happy ending in this story, but if I may be completely honest, I'd have rather read that final plot in the last few scenes fleshed out properly in a sequel instead of a hurried conclusion.

Having said that, this story stirred up some huge emotions, because I was friends with a married couple that went through the death of their young child as well. While I don't think, that their inevitable separation was as painful (and humiliating) as you've written about between Kyle and Dana, the end result was pretty much the same. They both moved away a few years ago and have made it a point not to have any contact with their old lives anymore. Sometimes the hurts are just too deep.

Thanks for this great and sad story.

i think kyle and dana should get back together

Just read, yet again, this time to my wife. She loved it. One of our favorites.

I spent 36 years working as a lawyer with the last 31 for the VA. Most of the matters I handled were mental health ones. (Commitments, end of life issues (with disputing family members), forced medications, etc.). In 31 years, you talk with your one client a lot. We had some issues referred to me which dealt with divorcing/estranged/divorced spouses in which a minor child had died. The pscyhiatrists and pyschologists told me that the vast, vast, majority of spouses separate after the death of a child. Why? The pyschiatrists and psychologists couldn't give me an answer since they really didn't know. Sometimes it's cheating--but until youv've personally suffered the loss of a child, I don't think you should be so quick to judge the wife here. People discuss "counseling" as the resolution to the problem, but if was truly effective, why do most marriages after the death of a child end in divorce? Counseling is just not that effective. (Bear in mind the profession of "physician" was recognized 4000 years ago in Egypt, but the average person, statistcally speaking, didn't benefit from the patient-physician encounter until the mid 1800s. Psychiatry, as a recognized discipline is just a little over 120 years old. Let's hope it doesn't take them 4000 years to get better than random chance.)

Along those lines, author, if your stories reflect you true mind-set, the some sort of prescribed anti-depressant might help you.

I like all of your stories but this one is in a class of its own. One of the Literotica greats. read it 4 times up to press.

I suppose there is a valid case for Kyle forgiving Dana, but it was the culmination of so much stress. Dana turned on Kyle after Emily's death and the consequence is losing both her husband and daughter.

to a sad story. Well laid oout.

But essentially missing some internal motivation for Dana. Her actions speak to problems deeper than grief and depression.

Shoot yourself into your dumb head and free the world from your evil genes.

However, should of had a couple of "dark" paragraphs with justice being meted out to the ex-wife. Perhaps her family becoming aware of her unforgivable betrayal of both her daughter and husband and being put out of her parents life. And, perhaps a sister getting married and not being invited. Some painfully payback for her.

the loss of a child is certainly tragic but to "blame" it on her husband and eventually cheat on him was unthinkable. The end sure put a nice cap on an otherwise depressing story

In your story. More so than any character in any other story. She's a selfish Bitch that would have cheated on him sooner or later. Dumping her was the best thing he could have done.

Unless you've buried your child, you have no idea. This was too close for comfort. And certainly unexpected on this site. No joy from this.

nothing to make me feel better? Come on! I want to read about Abi and Kyle and Brianna! Shit... *sniffles*

-Anubelore

It seems to be a happy ending for our hero. It's a shame we don't know how the life of the worthless cunt went. Oh well, I'd be it's miserable.

or wait for the discovery to appear close by/ TK U MLJ LV NV

Congrats. What an amazing story. Five out of five. This is powerful, heart-wrenching, smart and amazing stuff. It even has an upbeat ending. When I came to the end I started clicking on the spot where the next page button would be as I didn't want it to end. Some commenters hated Dana. But I felt very sorry for her. She was so badly wounded psychologically. On the dead daughter's bed. Yikes. And Hal couldn't save her. More please. Wait, I can come up with a better argument that that. More pretty please. Please, please, please. More, more, more. And more. Cheers Steve

Good everything: plot, characters, dialogue, etc. Just very well executed! Please write more. Lit needs new stories of this caliber...

This is the first time I have ever used this expression in a comment ! And its really beyond that !

You made this old man cry and you made him smile. Not many can do that. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the best entertainment, ever.

"roscovich"

I Fucking love the story....

I am astounded by how many women thought that fucking other men will solve the problem...and expect that because her husband love her he would forgive her and b a couple again... may b because of the US no fault state...most women thought that men will b afraid to divorce them cos men always comes out worse off after divorce court. But they seems to forget that most men don't want slut n whore for as a wife.(his personal slut only yes but not sharing). When will they learn.

You can do a series on this...

First Abi story till she met Kyle n then their story together..it seems Brianna has started the healing process in Kyle just by her presence. ( I love Brianna)

Plz do a series on this...plz

Great story. Loved it.

Still five stars. Still a favorite. This is top five all time for sure.

My comment is when are we going to be able to read chapter two? The way this story ended the reader is left wondering how it all worked out.

But she is a first class bitch/slut. What did blaming him and fucking someone else gain her? She's just a useless cunt and he's better off without her.

She could not accept the death of her daughter, so she punished the only man who would willingly with a smile accept her punishments, fucking some kid was just testing her ability to punish her husband.

i will sound utterly cruel, but its the husbands fault here, Dana is mentally deranged.

have any one of you had experiance with mountaineering,

life is like climbing a mountain, totally pointless yet full of hurdles, but the value of the experience is only known to the one who goes through it.

we need a lot of gear(support), & sometimes when the going gets tuff, we need to let go the baggage holding us, thats where our ability to choose comes to serious play, either we choose to let go or hold on untill we fall(fail).

the husband needed to let go of dana when she refused to stop punishing him for the loss of emily.

People expect happiness to come to them, while happiness is always inside you, happiness is a choice of state, either you choose to be happy or not. No human or life is more important than yours, never overvalue any one, you are responsible for your own happiness, "never judge because you will be judged" is a line of crap. never judge untill you have all the facts.

i ve read this story many times, & the sad reality was the husband chose to suffer her punishment because his love blinded him from the pain i.e until she soiled the memory of emily.

the only villainous attribute i see in this story is the counselor, he knew what was happening as he heard from both sides, yet he choose to follow "protocol" rather allow the husband to face the reality of his marriage, he did not have to break patient client privileges, but he could have said that the marriage had no hope without saying why, that would have been enough for the husband to look at the reality himself.

"Protocol" is another word for Mass Distribution Practices, you know where groups of people are treated as a "HERD". Mass production & distribution are Practices of efficiency & profit. the varied (Military,Banking,Medical,Shipping,Manufacturing,& Mining) INDUSTRIAL COMPLEXES follow Herd management principles for efficiency & productivity.

if you dont agree with my opinion, that's okay, you are free to make up your own mind, just remember, what you feel & what you know are two different things, never let them confuse you.

This is the way to do it ! Van 1 , BlackRandl , Mainefiddlehead , Please read this !

You three all have the chops to do this ! I beg you three , this genre really needs you now ! Everyone of you has this in you for us to enjoy ! Make it so !

5 huge *'s

Cpprcrk

I read 'In Her Eyes' and I found that to also be a pretty good read. You can write coherent sentences, you have a good sense of feelings and emote well.

I just can't get into the herky jerky style of writing, where time is an option and there is no linear flow. It gives me whiplash.

I can see...I tell a lie. I probably am not a good enough writer to write in this manner. When I have to mentally cut and paste the entire story and not just the odd flashback to explain how this person got to this place, it doesn't work for me.

I would probably put this around a 3 because I took a point for organic flow away and I liked but certainly did not love the story.

(And there's always a "but" isn't there?). Well, the only thing I find wrong is the flow issue. If you're going to use that many flashbacks, you need to indicate where they begin and end. Otherwise your readers must pause and wonder what time zone they're in. (You still got a 5from me.)

In my opinion the main topic here is loss,the loss of a child can be utherly devastating aspecially when it's the result of an accident,with an illness you can say your goodbeys,accept the inevetable,but in this case there is no way to know how someone will react ,some become so depressed they commit suicide others try to blame someone for it,in this case the husband,the cheating and adultry is mearly a result to a tragedy

be prepared to say hello to another, TK U MLJ LV NV

Even in fiction there is an element of terror followed by anger at the sudden loss of a child. The aftermath of this event in this story was handled quite well. Kyle remained true to himself throughout even if Dana couldn't find her way out of her self-imposed refuge.

Jake's character was developed sufficiently for us to dislike him even before he got stupid enough to try to hammer Kyle in the ring. His taking of Dana in Emily's room was the ultimate in stupidity, and ultimate betrayal by Dana.

If I was hurting like Kyle was, I think I'd have killed them both, and considered LWOP or a death sentence worth it. (Just shows how weak a person I am.)

Like all of your material, Jidoka, it is well written and very satisfying to read. Thanks.

Pretty damn good. I thought it was needlessly cleshaed

The most needless one was the widow running out of money working 60 hr a week. Your signal she was desperate enough to not be able to say no to him? What were wou thinking it meant?

Chilley

Crisis turns good wife into a slattern. Husband suffers through terrible angst. They divorce. Wife becomes a hermit. Protagonist hubby finds a beautiful young woman to hammer. The only thing missing is Forrest Gump. That's enough for me.

Dont know the statistics, but marriages are hard put to survive a death of a child. This was a wonderful story. 5*

Really well done and really sad

I'm glad he beat the shit out of the asshole and divorced his wife.

Going through pain is no excuse to be a disgusting, cheating slut in your dead childs bed!

I don't know how he didn't beat the shit out of her!

I thoroughly enjoyed the ending. Easy 5-Star rating.

U don't give up a marriage that quickly or easily. It sounds like most commentators are ready to give up on marriage easily. That is probably why most mattiages don't last long. I have been happily married for 49 years with bumps in the road on. both parts. Call me a wuss to my face and I'm still capable of wrecking you. I DO agree with punishment to him maybe worse than illustrated

Great story, perfect ending. Just to know that the husband was at a point to become interested in women again was more than enough to finish this tale. Whether or not he and Abi will be able to make a life together is immaterial, what's important is that they're both finally ready to move on.

So happy he got rid of Dana. I don't care what her problem is/was, he did everything he could do and all she did was resist; her final act of betrayal - on her dead daughter's bed - was far beyond anything that could be excused. There was no hope for that marriage. Also loved seeing the fancy college punk getting his ass whipped! Great story! 5 stars.

just the right amount of everything.

What a wonderful ending to a tragic, heartrending story of betrayal and degradation! The despicable acts by the whoring wife, especially on her dead daughter's bed were heart breaking and unforgivable!!! Grief is NO EXCUSE for cheating, EVER!!!

Thanks for the sweet five year old little girl coming to rescue his justifiably shattered heart and her interested mother. They made the story hopeful for a loving future...

I am puzzled as to how you think Kyle gave up on marriage so easily. You and I must have read different stories.

Kyle states ''anywhere but her bed''

I believe he would have forgiven her one time betrayal if not for that insidious act, as he had spent years with her despite her withdrawal disrespect and humiliating behavior.

The levee holds against the ever increasing pressure of the rising water from the incessant torrential rains...until one the weight of one solitary raindrop proves too much causing the levee to burst and destruction is loosed

The ending though too short makes it worthwhile!

Loved it!! Very touching

Thank you!