Another Unromantic Love Story Ch. 02

And then she gave me a wan smile. She looked like she had just finished a marathon.

She said, "That was everything I imagined and a lot more. I know you think I'm easy. I haven't given you any reason to think otherwise. I love sex. And I never saw a reason why I couldn't have it whenever I wanted it. I hurt nobody by satisfying myself.

"But I have to feel commitment. I know how insecure that makes me sound. But, when I DO give my heart I pledge my utter fidelity. It is just who I am. It was the reason why I served. If you ever want me as your woman you will never have reason to doubt my loyalty"

I said, "I feel the same thing and I think we need to see where this leads. For the first time in my life I want to bring a woman closer, not push her away.

"My entire life has been dedicated to the proposition of keeping people at arm's length. But there is something about YOU that makes me want to take our relationship way beyond friends with benefits. I want us to be joined together as a single loving entity."

It was true. I was having strange feelings. They were similar to the ones I had for Biff. In fact if I was anybody but nerd-boy I would think that I wanted to make this tiny little enigma my wife.

That thought wasn't something I wanted to share at this particular moment. Louise would never understand Biff. And a lot of things would have to fall into place before I could take any next steps.

Talk about being drawn and quartered!

I went from lonesome nerd to being lashed between two of the hottest women on the planet. And both of them fit me perfectly. Except each fit in utterly different universes.

The fates must have been laughing their fucking asses off when they dropped that little challenge on me.

I loved Biff unqualifiedly. My situation with Hannah was a little more problematic. Nonetheless, if I had a choice of the person to spend my life with in real-time it would be my little mongoose.

Louise and I were a perfect match in the real world. We were totally unspectacular people. We had the same vulnerabilities and weaknesses. We didn't glitter when we walked. Nobody stopped and craned their necks when we appeared in a room.

More importantly, nobody questioned why I was with her. Even though our size difference was comical, we left the impression that we had been a couple forever. We just looked right together.

And she was a lot more attractive a female than I deserved.

Hannah was one of those unfortunate people who is TOO attractive.

I am sure she often stood by herself at high school dances because the boys were all afraid to approach her. I am sure she only dated the top jocks and big men on campus. And it would take somebody with Julian's inflated sense-of-self to want to marry her.

She was the trophy who everybody wanted to win. And nobody could take her away from a player like Julian. That must have stoked his male ego. And she fit perfectly in his public life as an up and coming Yale MBA.

Cyberspace freed her to be the person who she actually was, the genius behind that gorgeous exterior. And it is an unhappy commentary on life that she was only able to be herself in that faceless universe.

Biff and I were as close as two people can be when we were in virtual space. That was because the physical differences didn't matter. In the real-world it was inevitable that those same differences would bring us down.

I did not want to lose Biff to Hannah's extreme physical beauty. It was a conundrum that Biff and I would have to wrestle with together and resolve.

Louise was easy, which is not a play on words. She and I could form a comfortable little cocoon of togetherness and the rest of the world could go about its business without bothering us. That was because we had the same humble perspective on life.

She was actually an extremely accomplished woman with an amazing track record in life. She had a pretty face and the most remarkable body ever bestowed on a female. And the way she could use it would give a Rapa Nui statue an erection.

Yet she seemed to view herself as a nowhere woman who could only have a social life by picking up and fucking men in bars.

That was nothing more than a case of Louise misjudging her own worth. Any objective person who knew her or looked at her could tell that.

I suppose I was in the same boat. In my own modest way there might be ten or so people in the entire world with my abilities.

So I suppose I am important guy in some people's eyes. Yet, I have spent my entire life hiding out, certain I couldn't live up to anybody's expectations.

It wasn't my parent's fault. I'm just wired that way. I know that it is a self-image issue. But the interesting thing is that Louise and I shared the same problem. And, when we are together we seem to fill in each other's missing pieces.

It was like we balanced out each other's karmic weaknesses. I am happy being with her and her alone. And she is happy just being with me.

If I wanted any other proof it was the relaxed and joyous two days we spent together. Even her Chihuahua stopped growling at me.

When I took her back to her place I felt a real twinge of pain at the separation. The only emotion that I have ever felt in the past when I dropped off a woman who I had slept with was relief at her departure.

I told her I would see her as soon as I got a project off the queue. That was a lie of course. The only project I had was Biff.

The following Thursday I was eating my Captain Crunch and daydreaming about the spectacular sex I had experienced all weekend.

Louise was voracious and imaginative. Her stamina was amazing and there were no boundaries with her. She taught me a number of things I had read about in books. But I had never experienced. It didn't bother me in the slightest that she had learned those tricks with other men. She was mine now.

She made it plain that if we were together I would be the only beneficiary of her superb skills. That is if I wanted her. The thought that she might hook up with Julian over the coming week almost made me close the deal on the spot

I was waiting for the inevitable from Biff. We had not started chatting yet. I was pretty sure that was because she was otherwise engaged. And that whatever was going on in her world wasn't pretty.

It hit my in-box at noon on Thursday. It said, "It's over. Can you come to my place?"

I shot back, "Is Julian there?" She said, "He is gone and not coming back. We need to talk NOW!"

She only lived in College Park so I was ringing her doorbell 45 minutes later. She met me at the door in a pair of skintight $300 designer jeans, rips strategically placed to show off a surprising amount of skin.

She had on a Harvard Graduate School of Education t-shirt. It made her high round and full breasts look extraordinarily spectacular.

She probably has bigger boobs than Louise but the extra four inches and 25 pounds made them look about the same size. She was breathtaking.

She had coffee for both of us in her breakfast nook. The message was "sit and talk" rather than "hold me". It was precisely what I expected from a woman like Biff.

I sat down and looked expectantly at her. She sat opposite me stirring her coffee. Then she raised her eyes and met mine. There was a world of hurt and anger in them.

I said as sympathetically as I could, "It was bad?"

She said, "I won't burden you with the details but I have hours of sound and video of him fucking two different women, just since last Friday.

One was while he was supposedly golfing. He went to her apartment instead. And the other was a nooner on Monday at a motel."

I thought to myself "Yep! Energizer bunny."

Then jealousy dropped down on me like a cartoon safe. Maybe one of them was Louise??! It suddenly occurred to me that Julian would take a shot at her just to re-mark his territory. That thought drove me absolutely wild-assed nuts.

Instead, I said with real sorrow in my voice, "I'm sorry Biff. What can I do to help?"

She said, "I want to talk this to death, right here and right now. That's what intellectuals do to process things. We have always been one soul and I need you to help me find the way. I'm frightened Bill."

She lapsed into the saddest face I have ever seen.

I said, "I assume you confronted Julian with the evidence."

She said, "I did. I put together a medley of his greatest hits and played it for him on that MacBook over there."

She gestured toward her open laptop. "Would you like to see it?"

I said with absolute horror, "Oh my God NO!!" The last thing I wanted was THAT! If one of those women was Louise it would kill me.

Biff smiled grimly at me and said, "That is pretty much the way HE felt about it too. Except I made him watch it in excruciating detail. He really didn't have anything to say beyond the usual, I'm sorries and it was just sexes.

"He is living at the Holiday Inn on 95 now and I have a pack of lawyers warming up to rip him to shreds. I've done all my crying over the past 24 hours. I am ready to deal with things now. Can we talk about our future?

Okay! Nut cutting time...

I took both of her hands in mine and gave her my sincerest and most loving look. Love and sincerity were what I was truly feeling.

I said with as much gravitas as I could, "Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life in a condo in Silver Spring?"

Something shifted in her eyes.

I said, "Because that would be our life together. We would do simple things and we would live a life of the intellect. There would be no gala parties, no cutting-edge social standing and no jet-setting travel."

She said, "Why would we have to do that? I have all of the money in the world and you could move in here.

"We could have everything we wanted and you could have ME any time you wanted me."

I said, "Having you exceeds my wildest hopes and expectations. You are the most beautiful and desirable woman in the world. But your life in the real-world just isn't me.

"I could never force myself into your lifestyle and you would be embarrassed to have me there. You know that."

Her eyes betrayed her. She knew that.

"We fit together perfectly in the virtual world because there are no physical constraints but in the real-world we are hopelessly mismatched. It would be "Beauty and the Nerd."

Her eyes began to shine with tears, "Are you saying you don't want me?"

I said, "I am NOT saying that at all. I love you with all of my heart. I will always love you and I could as much push you away as I could cut off my arm and casually hand it to a passing stranger.

"What I'm saying is that you and I live in two different dimensions. We are bonded forever in the virtual one. We will always be together there and that will never change. But we are utterly incompatible in this one.

"Everything in your upbringing and your life is different from mine. What is familiar to you in this world is alien to me. And what I want out of life is not anything you could ever sustain, no matter how much we love each other.

"Let me ask you, do you want to be a stay at home mom with kids?"

I could see in her eyes that was the LAST thing she wanted. She's very smart. She got the point.

I said with tenderness, "So if we tried to make this work in the real world you would regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life."

She said, "But what about us? I thought we would be together forever no matter what."

I said, "We WILL be together. We lost that connection for a little while. But now that I've found you again I will never let you go. We will always have cyberspace."

She said, "I told you I loved you. That I would never leave you."

I interrupted, "And you never will. I am always there for you in our virtual world. I'm no good at being noble. But it doesn't take much to see that our dissimilarities in this world don't amount to a hill of beans in the virtual one."

She understood and absolutely accepted what I had just said. She is a genius after all.

I saw what looked like relief pass across her face. It kind of hurt to see it. But there was also something different in those eyes. The best way to describe it was "respect."

I walked around the table and raised her to her feet. I tilted her gorgeous face up to look at me and said, "Here's looking at you kid."

She gave me a wan smile and said, "So what do we do from here?

I said, "We lead the life we have always led. I am your lover in our world and I will never leave you. I swear it.

"But it is obvious that we have to make our way in real-life. Maybe you reconcile with Julian. Maybe you find another better man. You can do anything you want to do and be anybody you want to be.

"Just remember that I am always yours. I am always here for you. You can depend on me. And we will always have our world of ideas to share."

She threw her arms around me and planted an open mouthed kiss that had steam coming out of my ears. She stepped back and with profound emotion said, "Thank you. Just thank you!! Now GO before I make a fool out of myself."

I drove back to my place wrapped in a cloak of astonishment. I had actually done the right thing. And I had done it with grace. Unbelievable!!

Thanks to Biff I was becoming less of a nerd and it felt good.

I fully expected that Biff and I would be together for the rest of our lives in cyberspace. Any new lover, or even Julian's return would be under those conditions. We could have our love, or whatever you wanted to call it. And we could have our real lives.

When I got to my place I found my little mongoose waiting for me. I had given her a key and she was making herself at home. She had already parked her rat and unpacked her overnight bag.

When I saw her look of absolute joy when I appeared, evil thoughts about what she might have done with Julian disappeared forever.

And thanks to whatever she had been doing before my arrival my nerd-cave now looked like a home. It was a preview of the rest of our lives.

The Chihuahua was lying on top of Buster, both of them were sound asleep. She looked like a growth on Buster's broad back, not a companion dog. Nonetheless, with the peaceful way they were sleeping together it was a study in canine love.

Louise was bustling around the kitchen cooking something. It smelled delicious. I looked at this dear little woman and the feeling of love I had for her simply overcame me.

I knew what I had to do. I walked up to her. She looked back smiling at me, her thick mop of curly brown hair was tousled over her forehead and her intelligent brown eyes were full of love.

She turned, impulsively grabbed my neck and planted a deep kiss on me pressing her hard little body against mine. Her huge soft tits were getting my attention. But we had to talk,

I said, "Louise, can we sit down. There is something I need to tell you."

She got that, "Oh shit" look on her face and let me lead her over to the couch. She sat knees together looking terrified.

I said, "I have been thinking and even though we have only known each other for a week I have to tell you something."

Her face went from, "Oh shit" to "I fucking knew it!"

I said, "I have never wanted to be around a woman for any length of time. Your gender is far too much trouble. But all I can think about is sharing my life with you. You complete me in ways I didn't even know were missing. And frankly I don't ever want us to be apart. Not even for one day."

It was like somebody set off a nuclear explosion in her eyes. They lit up with a bright white light that was almost overpowering in its intensity. She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me with open mouthed ardor that promised a lot more to come. Then she started dragging me down on top of her.

My little voice was thinking, "The girl knows the right way to reply, that's for sure."

As she was pushing up her dress and spreading her legs she was reciting over and over, "Thank you, Thank you Thank you, I will make you so happy. I will be the loyalist and most faithful wife a man could ever want"

Apparently I had just proposed marriage? Oh well why not??!! It fit the situation perfectly.

As she was spreading and raising her legs to wrap them around me and tugging at my pants. I was now holding myself on my arms looking in her eyes, which had "Fuck me!" written in capital letters in them.

I said, "But!!"

Her face fell and her legs dropped onto the couch. She let go of her thong, which she had been trying to pull aside, and just lay there passive.

Nothing could have illustrated the difference between Biff and Louise better than the present scenario.

I had wanted to discuss things in the same rational manner that Biff and I had discussed them, sitting with a cup of coffee in front of us. But Louise doesn't work that way.

So instead I was laying between her widely spread legs resting on her pubic bone and my elbows and looking down at her. She seemed devastated.

I said, "If we are going to be husband and wife we can have no secrets and I have a big one that I have to tell you.

"Then if you decide you still want me we need to find somebody who will marry us as soon as possible.

"But what I have to tell you is difficult." She looked even more upset.

I proceeded to explain my history with Biff. I started from the beginning and went all the way to the end.

The fact that she was married to Julian, who Louise knew a lot more intimately than I would have liked, added a lot of spice to the telling.

I finished with, "It wouldn't be fair to you to marry you given the deep and abiding feelings that I have for her in cyberspace.

"I don't know whether you would call it love in the normal sense of the word. Our relationship is strictly in the realm of ideas and the mind. But we have a personal connection that might be even closer than you and I will ever have as husband and wife."

She looked at me with fear and said, "How often do you plan to fuck her? I've seen her. She is incredible. I could never compete with a woman like her."

I actually laughed. Such a beautiful, humble, practical soul. That was the exact instant when I knew for sure that this was the woman I would grow old and die with.

I said still chuckling, "My relationship with Biff has never been physical. We share a virtual connection. Time will tell whether we keep that connection. After all, she might just drift off when she finds her next Prince.

"I am certain that I will never ever see her in the flesh again, let alone do anything intimate with her, EVER. Did you entertain any thoughts that Julian might marry YOU?"

She laughed heartily. I could feel the muscles in her stomach ripple underneath me. She said, "GOD NO!! He was so far out of my league my only question was why he was fucking me."

The movement of that hard little body under me, and those quivering tits reminded me why Julian was fucking her. I had another momentary pang of jealousy.

I looked deeply into those beautiful brown bedroom eyes and rolled the dice. I said, "If we get married, can you accept that I will be corresponding with Hannah in cyberspace. It will be in a relationship that could be construed as loving. Can you handle that?"

She said, "Do you correspond with your mother, or sister like that?" Women!! My little mongoose had hit the nail on the head. She really was a lot smarter than me.

I said, "I don't have a sister but I get your point. That pretty much sums up the feelings I have for Biff, totally loving but abstract."

She didn't even think about it. She just responded. Her body came alive under me. She wrapped her legs around my waist and as she was tugging her thong out of the way she said with finality, "You'll never regret marrying me. I will make you the happiest and most well-fucked man in the physical world."