by Lien_Geller
Hot and imaginative! Thanks! Watch your spelling, though, on 'faint' in other chapters and here in chapter 4: "It was at this point Jamie noticed the feint (sic) faint cloud swirling about above his own head." To feint means to make a deceptive movement, as in fencing. We love your stories, so please keep writing!
but watch your past and present tense, ie., stood and/or standing. Much dfferent mc story than others. Guy actually thinks of others ahead of himself.
great work hope the next chapter doesnt include a gay scene (if jamie streaks through bellhop) but if thats wat u want do i will still read it anyway
i just stumbled across your story, love it and cannot wait for the next chapter.
You're talented and imaginative. Please keep it up, I'm looking forward to Chapter 5.
What a fantastic story! You're a very talented writer and I definitely look forward to more chapters in this story!!!
I think it is good enough for a second or a third rewrite.
If you repost this story I think nobody would think less of you.
In other words with or without the little spelling mistakes it good. So good that I did not see those misspellings. I did not have the time to, because was to busy writing.
Keep them cumming.
And if the threesome become a foursome I would not mind. But keep the children out of the story.
Dude, all this tantalizing and ravishment got me hot hot hot. Not a fan of threesomes, but the way you weave this story is so bad..........
I know we readers complain about how slow you are at putting up new chapters and it does bug me but just because there so good and I want more. Don't let us push you into rushing because that might change how good your story's are so I promise I wont complain as long as you keep writing more of these chspters. If you do decide to quit please tell us so we can quit checking for new chapters from you otherwise I might write some unflattering things on here :).
A couple things I've noticed that have been errors like getting names switched stuff like that nothing major but I've read through all these a few times and one thing that sticks out for me everytime is last chapter Gwen drove to the hotel this chapter she doesn't even have a car.
I have been enjoying the series. Great writing, thanks.
I'd love more of the story to balance the sex scenes. Yes this literotica and I'm all cool with that. They are great written scenes. However there is a whole heap of the story that could further explored. Then again I am comparing this to The Missing Dragon. So perhaps that's not fair.
Great story.
Loved it.
The earlier part of Aphrodisia didnt seem to me to have the right balance, being too much just sex, however the car sequence spiced it up even though it was still a lot of sex.