All Comments on 'April's Fool'

I felt like this was an interesting idea and had a promising start...and then it just kept dragging out. Two pages in I started skimming over whole paragraphs and just tried to find the info that moved the story along. In case that isn't a clue, if your readers are skimming, you are wasting words. So, I hated that this story was way longer than it needed to be to tell the same tale effectively. Second, I didn't buy the reconciliation. I am fine w/ reconciliation stories. What some writers miss, including this one, is that the wife has to be sympathetic for a reconciliation story to work. A story also has to have some consistency in the characters. The writer set up the story painting the wife as a selfish shrew, even before Mr. Marsh came along. So, we are supposed to root for him to stay with her just b/c she promises to do better? The involvement w/ Mr. Marsh seemed to read to me as revealing her true character, not a freak happenstance for an otherwise devoted wife. If you want to sell reconciliation, the mistake should seem to be out of the norm, not the typical self-centered behavior the wife has always had. Finally, the husband kept saying he was equally to blame, b/c he worked a lot of hours that was pretty much the same as his wife having an emotional & physical (she had sex, you can be arrested for sexual assault for groping a woman's breasts) affair, and her being a total B to him for months. Throw kids into the equation, and an argument for reconciliation can always be made. However, your own writing painted a picture of an unreliable, selfish and entitled wife. Tone the shrew factor down in this type of story and it can work. 2 stars, as it has a good premise and started well.

I thought this was a decent stab at showing how easily a relationship can break down when 2 people don't communicate. Add in a snake in the grass and divorce becomes the obvious option.

The couples struggle for reconciliation was well told and I think believable and the husbands realisation about his commitment to his vows was thought provoking.

Good story but too long…thanks.

Nicely done I hope there is more story in pipeline from you

It was a good story, though I feel some editorial assistance would be of help. It was a little longer than needed.

I agree with the comments by JoeBetterBNice. Also, I cannot see how April would have avoided bedding with "Uncle Charles" over that period of time and under the circumstances, and cannot see how the Paul would not have learned of the problems from his children.

I like the story itself, but the characters and dialogue are all... kinda weird.

Like, when the in-laws see their daughter kiss loverboy goodbye and, without asking any questions, instantly know exactly how far her relationship with the guy has gone. If there are questions asked, they are immediately ignored to move on to the next topic.

Or when April is in the car, on her way to the zoo. The kids are talking like graduated psychologists and relationship coaches. It feels unnatural, to say the least.

There are dozens of small instances taking me aback, where it feels like you had a plotline in your head but didn't know how to make it flow with the story, so you just... let it happen regardless. Especially when those characters became way too expositional to deliver some information to the reader, even though it simply made no sense for them to say those things.

Other than that, it was a nice read.

I gave this one an Outstanding Read ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating. After reading the current 6 comments. I guess I am in the minority.

While I was totally engrossed in the tale, I felt that it reached inside of the couple and told what a real relationship could go through with events like these happening. This is what keep me engrossed in the tale. The tale which for me was way to long in tooth for one setting.

The being long in tooth is my issue, being I am a slow reader. Consumption of tale while emotionally moving for me was taking too long to get to the finally. Even having a short coming of the length, it was minor for me being made up by the potential reality of the tale.

I enjoy consuming the products you create. I don’t always give them Outstanding Read ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating. I look forward to consuming more of your productions in the future.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

What I have come to expect from your stories. I enjoyed it so much. Thank you.

Overall I liked the story, well paced until the last whole page of sex. Marsh's conviction got a whole 2 lines. Nothing else said about others wanting revenge when they found out their marriages were deliberately destroyed etc.

I liked the reconciliation but wondered about some of the timing. Several months before she tried to seduce her husband back?

Also, there is the long distance part. Just where did Charles Marsh live? Her parent's house was hours away. He was there. He was also around where she shared a house with Paul. Marsh's 'friend', the crooked cop who arrested Paul was in the same town as Paul. That whole part was confusing. I don't think you caught on to that faux pas. Still, I gave you a great score for a well told story.

4/5

A little long, but loved it.

A little shorter version would have been better.

Good story and characters but the dialog seemed weird in certain parts and there were some jumps in logic I didn't get. Overall a 4* effort.

It was a reasonably decent story, but it didn’t thrill me. Kind of emotionally flat at times, and it was a bit long-winded. Four stars.

Agree with the comments that it was a decent story, but it should have been half of the length. Conversations make a story better until it's the same conversation each time it is held. The story would have been better at half of the length.

I was really hoping that marsh somehow got out of jail and came after them and Paul beat the snot out of him. Very good story I liked it.

Good read…. Nothing like being sexy and a BJ to the juicy end to make up! Yerhaw

Gamblnluck about 4 hours ago

Also, there is the long distance part. Just where did Charles Marsh live? Her parent's house was hours away.

"When you told me that you had to work the holidays, too, it was almost too much. I went to my parents, dropped the kids and went shopping. I had a coffee somewhere, Charles saw me and asked why I looked so dispirited.

They met where her parents lived.

He was also around where she shared a house with Paul. Marsh's 'friend', the crooked cop who arrested Paul was in the same town as Paul. That whole part was confusing.

Marsh could have moved from where Paul and April lived before he met her, that would explain about the officer.

Very nice story. A little long, but I enjoyed the winding road.

Could of been a +5* if Paul (or Jack) would have covertly funded a jailhouse makeover for Chucky Marsh. Chucky would become a jailhouse eunuch & beeeoch with facial tattoos adverts and a smooth bore deep throat...

\

4---- Hooyah

Bull rider

That is exactly what I was thinking

Good story. Enjoyed it.

A very good story. I thought it was well written.

Good story!

4

In my opinion, one of the better works written, posted on this site. True Love did prevail. An honest effort on every one's part to work thru, dissolve, and past any issuers.

SUPER FANTASTIC STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks a lot!!!

Too long. Too many unnecessary stuffs. Ended up skimming just to get to the end.

Trim the filler stuffs. Such as the doctor stuffs. Paragraphs of her. 1st name, looks, yet only appear for that scene.

But too little on the necessary stuff, such as the corrupt detective. What's his story? How is he connected to Marsh? What happened to him after that abuse?

And there's plenty more of these. If you won't be bothered with expanding the necessary characters, remove the fillers for unnecessary characters.

5 stars, pretty enjoyable. Wish there was more revenge on Marsh and his cop friend (cops in that town are something else) but otherwise and enjoyable read with a neat connection with the authors other story "Seven Bad Years" (if there was any other references I missed it). Decent enough reconciliation, she may not have cheated but certainly came close to that line not to mention her behavior. I could have easily saw the story turning into a "new beginning" if not for the reconciliation tag, the reconciliation worked, wasn't a RAAC but being honest was not rooting for April.

Way tooooo many words. Would have been a much better 3 page story, but still very predictable. 2*

he was a fool to take back this ungrateful hoe, apple doesn't fall far from the tree here

So if I follow the story correctly ....The husband was unable to save his wife to say to his wife I am being promoted....? That takes 3 seconds to say?

There was an identical story to this recently.

Nice.

5 stars

Yeah I was all for divorce as well. He deserved better wife than her. It's a sad fact that women are never satisfied, always wanting more and more.

I had high hopes at the start of this story. Sadly it got perverted with this compulsion to make any right thinking MAN (almost a dirty word these days!) who finds his trust has been betrayed, knuckle under and forgive a cheating woman. In law the ‘intent’ to commit a crime is sufficient evidence! In this story the woman had a clear intent to commit adultery (The correct term!) and had at least partly broken her marriage contract. Sadly we can’t give minus stars for stories, if we could I’d be giving minus ten!

OK, so Paul gets that extremely weird “In Memoriam”card from who, April? And then he doesn’t go to her and ask her what the hell it is? He doesn’t ask her who the hell is this Charles Marsh? He waits for two days, then goes for.. a run?? Then he goes and… does Tai Chi??? And he still doesn’t even talk to April??? Sorry, but that is just not how people behave. The whole initial premise was so illogical and unrealistic that I had to stop reading.

Stopped reading on page 2 when June started all the talk to force a vullshit RAAC. Skipped to the last page and seeing Paul kept the second generation cheating slut did waste my time with the rest of the story.

1 star for a long drawn out RAAC.next time instead of tagging a reconciliation with "romance" tag it correctly with "cuckold" or "cuck"

The eloquence of your writing is fantastic. You weave a wonderful story and I have only one niggle. That is when you changed the correct term mum to that horrible mom. I thought you keyboard must have changed fro correct English to the US English but I noticed that other words were correctly spelled with an s instead of a zed and colour and flavour were also correct.

Never mind it was still a wonderful tale. 5 stars 🌟

I love this story. I don’t understand why the attention span of many people is so short that they can’t take 30 minutes to read a well constructed, well written, and interesting story. Do they believe that they have to find fault in everything they read? 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I'll add my two cents to what's undoubtedly a long echo of the same... good story, but dragged on too long.

The writing and plot were good, needed some strong editing, considerably too long, quite repetitive and slow moving, could have been cut by a third.

A 4 page story at most and in desperate need of a new proofreader. The one mentioned did you no favors. Where was repentance of any sort from the wife? Or did her true nature suddenly bubble to the surface and now she wants a do over? I gave it a 2 for effort.

Probably could be shaved down without losing anything of importance. But a decent story.

While well written and entertaining. This story was beyond tedious and into painful. My opinion, it was 4 to 5 pages too long.

What is this story? Where is the erotica?

On page three. Just a thought, like the vast majority of LW authors, you write blackmail, which is an entirely different offense, actually a crime, when the proper term is extortion. Back to the story.

JPB

You almost lost the 5* rating with the boring (for me) sex scenes at the end but you did a great job prior to then. Also, you added 3 new words added to my vocabulary.

I very much enjoyed the story, a full 5 stars.

Unlike some, I've no problems with April being a little peeved at the beginning, we can all lose sight of someone's worth occasionally. If she was an ingrate, or it was Charles's grooming, is an imponderable mystery within the story.

Because you didn't make some things clear, or read your own story, or because I'm a pedant.

This was set during the Covid, yet a health centre didn't revert to the default that everything was covid and had a doctor that was free to be dispatched to June within minutes?

In appraising Dr. Satapathy, she was no older than Paul's 39 years, later on Paul is in his early 40s?

Cafés, restaurants sports centres (Paul's dojo) were all open and there is no mention of masks anywhere.

April wearing raunchy underwear for Paul. To be fair, you didn't say Paul's new job was Monday to Thursday, but you did say it was four days per week. I thought Aprils early show on Thursday morning was to prime Paul for the long weekend.

April feeding Paul sushi. No mention made of what had wasabi on it or what was dipped into soy sauce and how Paul told April his preferences. Well, I told you I was a pedant.

The drugs for June were mentioned and Tylenol was included. Tylenol is acetaminophen, which is also used in many cough medicines. Later on in the story, the alternative name for acetaminophen is used, which is paracetamol.

Aprils fool surenuff.

The concept was good, but your execution wasn't. The story was too long, by far, and it seemed like the character of Paul was pretty wishy-washy. You need to tighten up your dialogue and avoid cliche's.

Never in the history of mankind has a woman who felt so totally justified in her position been able to change and turn around as quickly as this one did. " Your behavior with that man absolutely failed the spouse test," said her dad and mom, and voila', complete remorse. In a long story, that part was way too short and unreal. Otherwise, a good read.

Well that was pretty damn good. It was a little over the top in places but thoroughly enjoyable with sympathetic characters.

Thanks for putting in the work.

Nice reconnect

For someone who does it often Charles was written to stupid for him to be a cereal marriage breaker upper. The names weren't funny just confusing. April fowlers really, u watch too much porn. Also need an editor

This tale was about twice the length it should've been. A good story like this should have three to five scenes with some exposition or transition to bind them. The plot and characters should "arc" from start to finish, with the characters evolving as the devices within the plot act upon them. I ended up speed-reading the final two-thirds, and I really hate to do that. However, this became bloated, meandering, and unenjoyable. I did finish. The middle half of the story could be reduced by 90%.

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The whole "death of a marriage" memorial invitation was perplexing. Then, he reacted to it, but you don't tell us why he reacted the way he did. I wonder why he didn't call his wife. Perhaps his in-laws. We know that his in-laws were against their daughter cavorting with Charles. How does a man run a dynamic airport terminal operation, yet he freezes up when faced with something adverse?

-

To snap out of his lethargy, he goes all Ninja Warrior on us, and we get to see some more LW martial arts pr0n (nobody ever practices a mainstream martial art). In light of the rest of the story, the martial arts scene appeared irrelevant and perhaps a little gratuitous. Think: "Chekov's gun," relevancy.

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When texting, some were set off with = and others were in italicized in a paragraph. Or were those texts or inner dialogue? I had to reread and guess. Also, would not the normal response be, 'I took several days off, so you and my children need to come home immediately.' Bending a character's reaction/action to fit the intended story arc can only go so far until it snaps, which this one did. Is he decisive or indecisive? His job and the fact that he's getting prompted, his dependability, and his adaptability fly in the face of his actions. This is like the scary movie scene where they are walking through the pitch-black, ghoul-infested home backward--they are mistakenly doing something that defies logic, and there are blatantly unrealistic acts.

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The story moved well at the outset, but everything bogged down on page 2. The wise parents with the secret, the children who speak with the wisdom of their grandparents and are fearless in the face of family dissolution. And who sent out the stupid mailer? Again, think Checkov's gun. Charles Marsh remains this shadowy figure like some milquetoast Keyser Söze. What good is a villain if he's never seen?

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The passive-aggressive man is a trope in LW tales that is as solid and unbending as any doormat cuckold. Is it a reflection on the writers? Not sure, but one thing it does is to allow the author to create this noble and suffering man who has been wronged, but in doing so, he comes off as pathetic. In the spirit of all passive-aggressive victims everywhere, he presses the "Destruct" button and slinks off to his very own pity party. Never do these men confront or communicate, often at their own peril. It's easy writing because the writer doesn't have to create complex interactions or conflict, which are the lifeblood of readable fiction. To OP's credit, April didn't react in that LW cheating wife manner by falling down when she was served.

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You need an editor. Every writer needs an editor. I won't plow through 22.5K words for such little reward in the future. Stay away from ALL of the LW clichés (leave some for the other writers).

TJY

I enjoyed it, but after the decision to reconcile, the story lost steam. It felt as though there was a resolve to reconcile but after that it was simply the mundane task of getting to that level. There was no conflict, not tension, no real sense of urgency or despair. I'm not saying that was needed, but it simply made the story much slower, more to slog through.

And please don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it. It's just the first half was much more entertaining.

OK, I guess I have to go along with you on this one. Usually don't agree with reconciliation but you laid it out well and it made sense. Could have been done in 5 pages instead of 7 but that is a minor criticism.

I enjoyed it. Was too long, however, by about 2-3 pages. April WAS a fool…she got lucky having parents who intervened and a husband who truly loved the bitch. Charles’ outcome was unsatisfying for me — Paul, maybe with Jack’s help, should have had the opportunity to deal some Justice.

.

4 ****

When I got to the end of the 1st page and saw there were 6 more pages of this drivel, I gave up, scrolled to the end, and gave it a 1.

Quite enjoyable, but loose ends abound; at least in the timeline given. Others after the end of the story.

It was about two, maybe three, pages too long.

The Porker who falsely arrested Paul wasn’t dealt with. It was alluded to but nothing was wrapped up. That’s in this timeline.

And the predator will be coming back in about 5 years. She beat his ass and men like the predator don’t take kindly to that.

A bit long winded, still a decent story. Good effort 4****

Good stuff. Well done. Thank you.

Nicely done. Lots of verisimilitude when describing the ups and downs of relationships.

THANK YOU for a fun story.

Be Well and Happy,

Paul

Too disjointed to be enjoyable. Very wordy. Could cut half off and probably still tell same story.

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After April told Paul her story Paul was good with a reconciliation because his little head told him "It's not so bad, your only a semi-cuck." Even if April isn't out the door why is June still coming around? Free babysitting services are worth being dissed for? Despite his return to the martial arts he still hasn't hardened up! The story was a little bit long, and the discussions between the husband and wife tended to be pretty much repeats of each other, but it still rated 4 stars.

Sorry, had to bail on it on page 5. Married people, especially people under pressure don’t talk to each other in such formal language. Many constricted secondary plot pathways were absurd and/or not adequately pursued. Furthermore, this author, like so many others on this site portray the husband as a saint and the wife completely stupid. It insults the reader’s intelligence.

To counter mister JoeBetterBNice, you started skimming, so of course you would miss the point. Most of your criticism may be reasonable if you also wrote something yourself, for example of it being too long, if you can write something better in half the length, then by all means. So far, only two people have skimmed you and someoneother, others seemed to have understood it.

Good story! Enjoyed it!

Yet another ode to the beta/simp boys. Same tired, beat to death story arc.

Nice reconciliation story. I usually don’t like them. One thing that does bother me though is this “Dear Paul,” bullshit. No one speaks to another person like that. That is how a written letter starts, yes, but not a verbal exchange. Not in English anyway. The only time I’ve seen something like this is in an old Winterfrog story fro 25 years ago. Are you Scandinavian? I f you are you may want to brush up on these nuances of English language spoken vs written. If not you’ve no excuse. You’re just trying to be clever.

Really well written. Some plot points were a bit overplayed, but good balance of narrative and dialogue. 4.6*

When the hard working superhero husband started apologizing for having to work a lot during a pandemic this story went down the tubes for me. Come on….what a waste.

Very nice love story.

This was a good exploration of thoughts, motivations, and personal growth.

It looks like most commenter have not perused your biography, and are not aware that you're from the Netherlands. This could explain why American readers will find the dialog somewhat stilted on occasion.

I wonder if the story would have been better received if it were classified as Romance rather than LW.

I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.

Usually I don't like reconciliation story; but, in this case the wife not only shows remorse but actually also listens to her parents and her children. Plus, she seems to hate Charles once she realized that he manipulated her.

The beta boy comments! Neanderthals.

Good story, I like to live in a country where it only takes months for the judicial system to work! Marsh was convicted a few months later. I like how there was emotion and anxiety written into this. But Paul kept telling his work schedule hours was too much. Also the mistake in them going to therapy. The at the end the brought need to go to therapy? Still an enjoyable story.

Thanks for writing. 4⭐️

I enjoy long stories where the length is justified. This wasn't, I started skim reading after a few pages.

Well done.

Nicely worked plot and very believable.

My problem with the story

was repetitions in dialogue.

Some people do say the same thing over and over again.

But in the written word, it can get boring.

4 out of 5 from me.

I'm glad the stupid bitch didn't totally nuke her marriage. I am just flabbergasted how women allow an outsider to tell them about their husband's?.. Charles didn't know shit about Paul, their marriage or their family, yet she ate up all of his bullshit.. I'm astonished she couldn't tell he was trying to help her ruin her marriage.. Nobody with morals is inserting themselves in someone's relationship. She should've been telling her husband about her unhappiness.. not some random douchbag.. when he started suggesting her husband was not working and was cheating, she should've knee him in the balls then.. he doesn't know her damn husband. It irritated me how she allowed this chaos demon to put doubts in her head regarding her marriage and husband.. her lack of faith in him irritated me immensely. if she wanted someone to talk to, she should've talked to her parent's or a friend or better yet... PAUL.. I've been with my husband for 23 yrs. I don't talk to random men about any issues I might have with him. I barely talk to my friends about it.. I don't like people in my marriage or business.. I sure as hell wouldn't let you talk shit about the father of my child and our marriage. That would actually make me LIVID. Charles wasn't no smooth operator🙄.. she was just a stupid slut thinking with her pussy instead of her brain. Only women that are already on the idea of cheating are so easily influenced. Had her parents not step up, she would've been on her back getting her guts fuck'd out.. I hope she doesn't do it again. She took her husband, their family and her marriage for granted.. that is a recipe for disaster.. she forgot what her husband, family and marriage meant to her. She better NEVER forget that again..

Think at times it was hard to follow but the outcome was ok. Thanks for writting

Made it to page three then it went to wimpsville.

I liked the story, but it was way too long and dragged on. 4 stars.

Enjoyed the story. Thanks for your writing.

A very good story. Not one of those 1 - 1 1/2 page wonders.

Sometimes the embers of love don't always die out, with work,

the fire will be restored. Maybe even stronger when you see

what you have to loose. Thanks for the story. 5*

Pennarossa

Good story with a very warranted reconciliation which I don’t always agree with . Personally the start of cheat is the emotional one which can be worse than the actual fucking. Not sure of actual percentage of divorces but it’s very high , maybe 50% but how many more come close like this one and is stopped before the sexual part started. She was kissed and felt up like a kid before they advanced. The guys are always waiting smelling blood for a woman teetering. Once a friend was getting married in a month and a bunch of us were out and there she was on the corner of a dance floor getting felt up and wildly kissed. A group of her friends were there as well knowing what was happening. Turned out it was second time together but only in public like this time . He was chased and they told her she had until dinner time tomorrow to tell her future husband and they wanted a confirmed call that she told him everything or they were . They stayed together as well but very strained especially when it came to her friends who knew and pushed her .

Actually thought it was quite good for the first 4.5 pages. Yes language was a bit formal. Lacked some emotional pathos. Charles Marsh was an idiot sending the funeral card dated April 1st. Made no sense. But the parents were good. Suspect even without the card, the parents would have made her come clean about her longstanding emotional affair and her plans to screw Charles that week of vacation (of course he would have tried blackmail). But parents weren't going to let her infidelity go undetected or unpunished. They had a clear.and unique perspective for LW stories. Yes June pushed too much on the phone, but to be clear the immediate living situation if the kids and their care was a no brainer to discuss really soon anyways.

Kids were great. At least the two older ones. Their comments cut her to the bone. And she planned to reconnect as soon as possible with her husband. Of course she had little clue of the severity of how she had hurt her husband for quite some time. She knew nothing about the funeral card which prompted the divorce after verification on Facebook.

Btw Charles was a moron. Not just the funeral card but trying to blackmail her into sex based on talking to him again lol weaksauce. Then going to rape her in the park. In public? Riiiight. He is definitely on the low side of the bell curve of IQ where a woman's vagina is involved.

It is believable. Why she had failed the husband test quite a few times and made it to second base with the predator, she did not yet screw in the biblical sense or even oral sex. And to those who think that makes no difference. Umm b$ll squat.

Yes her intent was to.sleep.with Charles that coming week and without intervention woukd have happened and when found out her marriage was DOA. She even realized this on her own later on. Again the funeral card was a plot device, but she was in trouble with her parents and rhe prenuptial. At least she confessed about her plans to screw him. After her assault on Charles and picking her husband up from jail, she came clean the next day on everything.

So yeah looked good until the car scene and the "for better or for worse" talk. Not that they reconciled but seemed forced too quick to make it seem real, especially also lacking emotional pathos. There was emphasis on him keeping the divorce moving ahead, new rules, that he woukd be a different person and she had to chase him, counseling, and he would re-evaluate. But getting to that state seemed overly quick and skipped some key dialog and efforts on both their parts. Look after she went to drive him back from jail, she did just about everything right for reconciliation. But after 4.5 pages seemed to be chaotic, compressed and focused a lot on their reclaimed sex life. Quite a bit of "cart before the horse" going on the last couple of pages.

Still a good effort. She was certainly going to sexually cheat and blow up their marriage as per Charles' objective. Interventions and Charles' arrogance, derailed that line of reasoning. Ahe denounced and assaulted Charles once he was revealed to be evil and manipulative for all the wrong reasons. With time and effort and counseling and her parents and their kids, it is possible to forgive and try to rebuild the marriage. But it would be a lot harder than what the author described for most marriages in such near tatters. His comments in the car and his meditation while running, accelerated everything so the reader could then read a long page of makeup sex scenes.

Still a worthy effort especially when author's English is not his / her first/ primary language.

Good effort! First four pages had some excellent plot.elements and writing. But ran into some headwinds the last couple pages (sans sex).

Great story. The only negatives that I could see her talking withMarsh but women (even incredibly angry ones) wouldn’t sleep with a piece of crap like him. If he was dumb enough to put all that in his Facebook page then and he has done thing many times to multiple women, at least one pissed off husband or wife would have come after him and gotten revenge even with the police friend having his back. The second negative was more of a personal one which was she continually started sentences with “Dear Paul” which is nice to hear once it a while but constantly gets old unbelievably fast.

First off I do love a good reconciliation, and I enjoyed your story, but I think you went a little too far with the “Saint Paul” character, he comes off a bit too self righteous for me. In any conflict there isn’t anyone who is completely right or completely wrong, to have April taking all of the fault is a little unrealistic. I think if you could have given Paul a little bit more of the blame for the conflict, it could have made for a much more realistic, and dramatic story.

It’s your story so please write it the way you want to, I was just trying to throw out a little food for thought.

Thanks for your time and effort. KS

A bit on the fence about the story, well written but I disdain cheaters and fools and April is both of those so I wasn’t a fan of reconciliation albeit slightly in that favour, I never understood the problem with working too much, my father worked ridiculous hours to provide for us and I’m proud of him sacrificing so much to provide for his family.

She took his kids around that guy and made them call him uncle Charles. That is worse than sex in my mind. He should have nuked her from orbit done his best to never allow her access to his children again.

Very well written, but too long and way too much dialogue. For a RAAC, it wasn’t bad.

Paul noticed that she was very young to be a doctor, not older than himself with his 39 years.

1. How old do u have to be to be a doc? At 39 she should be a very senior experienced doc.

2. Don’t use cliches… if u don’t know about Indian name..do research a little… Amar is a guys name.. Dr Amar Satapathy is a guy… he can’t be a Her!

Small things..but shows a persons ignorance or hautiness!

Good, just a bit too long.

I just got off the phone with Karma. For the record, she says she didn't have anything to do with this. It was all on us humans. And she is very proud of us. She particularly liked the lady's kicking the snake's ass. He deserved it. She says there may be hope for the human race after all. Great story, only 9.5 stars though because you almost lost me with the card, in the beginning. I had to re-read it three times. (I'm old, sue me.) And it was a little long. But it was well worth it The Bear definitely approves. I love happy endings, and this qualifies. More, please.

The BEAR

Nice story, first time reading this. Thanks

A good closing line; much better than most. Four solid stars.

JPB

5* but in real life I would divorce- emotional infidelity is as bad as sexual to me

‘After being arrested and railroaded, stuck in a cell and having my career almost scuttled by your lover, let me make you dinner, give you a place to sleep, give you my good gin, have a pleasant conversation about the children, make you breakfast and coffee, drive you for HOURS so you don’t have to, BUT I will not kiss you or have an emotional conversation with you. So THERE!’

/

The savage! The waves of fury she must have felt as she was nibbling her husbands salad. Now, NOW she felt the extent of his anger! Dutch Anger is indescribable. Did he blacken her grilled bread beyond her preference, perhaps?

Well written but at least 2 pages too long.

It slipped by me that Marsh had been at April's parents home (where June saw them kissing) and had obviously been introduced to the kids as an uncle, since they were asked to call him Uncle Charles. (April's parents home was 3 hours away from April's home, so March must have been invited to be there). Why didn't Paul make more of this egregious behavior from April. Treating Paul badly and working toward an affair was bad enough, but exposing the kids to it takes April's actions to a whole different level. If I were Paul this may have been a game breaker.

Happy for the reconcile, but this wasn't a joke by any means. She didn't know what the deuchebag was doing until after it was done. He was serious, so to speak, in breaking her marriage to her husband. So again, no joke. Still a good read. 4**** gr