All Comments on 'April's Fool Pt. 02'

Bad move starting out with him and April on their honeymoon, takes all the suspense out of it! Should simply have had it be his “wife”, that way we don’t know if he ends up with April, or Trina or whoever.

thanks brooks! that is the type of feedback I am looking for. I actually wondered about starting off with the honeymoon scene but ultimately thought that the tale should be as upbeat as possible because of the "vibe" I was looking for. Maybe I should have left it out.

I am trying to improve my storytelling skills so feed back is always appreciated.

Ahaz

While this story maybe made up, unfortunately this scenario plays out all to often, usually not with a happy ending. Thanks for writing a story on alcoholism, and the havoc it plays on not just the lives of the alcoholic, but also those closest to them.

The second chapter hasn't disappointed. Liked the ending. But now, want to read more about the Warlock and his world.

Your plotline that includes alcohol abuse is a winner. Congratulations on dealing with a difficult subject. The fact that you produced a happy ending is also noteworthy. I will be reading your stories with interest.

Rich T.

You handled a touchy subject that so many never get past...did it with passion and love....well done!

I liked starting with the honeymoon scene but agree with Sbrook. Using affectionate pet names such as sweetheart and honey would have maintained a feeling of suspense while still keeping it upbeat. I'm impressed that there were no relapses. People seldom succeed on their first attempt.

I've been in a relationship where alcohol brought out the mean in him. He's been on the wagon several times and I can always tell when he's starting to relapse long before he takes that first drink. It really hurts when you become a target of abuse by someone about whom you care. I'm glad you made the woman the abuser for a change instead of going for the same old male-as-bad-guy cliché.

Alcohol makes fools of all of us at some time or another.

For me, this story was well worked, well written, good characters and believeable situations.

Could it have been a little longer ? Another episode ?

Maybe.

I was enjoying, and just wanted one more !!!!!

That was a great read my friend . PLUS I`m a sucker for a happy ending . Going to check your other postings right now !

I read yur story and realised I am also falling in the trap of alcohol

thanks for that

thanks for the happy end because I could have been in tears otherwise

Thanks again for sharing such a fantastic narration

-Neo

liked the story but for one part, please please stop using the phrase " and I pushed X down"... you wrote it way to much and made the character seeming unable to deal with his insecurities...

Well written, easy flow story that doesn't finish. Got to feel there is more to it. Very close to a 5 Star.

Thanks for a great read.

You create real people, who deal with real understandable issues. Your characters have character, and say and do the right things for the right reason, and the wrong things for the right reason; no contrivance or character morphing to fit the plot. That takes wit, imagination, and understanding of readers who are intelligent and not looking for feel-good or perverted bull shit. Marrying a person with alcohol problems takes real confidence and courage, and commitment. I hope it pays off for them both.

Thank you for your time and effort.

Your character development is a lot better here. He's gaining confidence, and the story is progressing well. However, a drunk is always a drunk, so relapses are to be expected. I'm looking forward to the segment in loving wives.

Chilley

Very enjoyable read. Predictable and still very entertaining. Gave you 4*s and look forward to the next story.

AMerryman

before they can share with others, TK U MLJ LV NV

"She was the first girl I dated who had her hood pierced"

Seems a bit weird to put it like that when it's only the second girl he has had sex with.

typos:

best t make - best to make

it wa just - it was just

This was one of the best stories I've read. This seems so real almost like an autobiography. I do love a happy ending and I was rooting for them ever since the split up. I see a lot of myself and Bill. I was a shy young man that blossomed in college. I too married about my station. Sometimes I just look at my wife and think how I'm lucky man just like Bill. Thank you for a very enjoyable read.

If you start the story with them on their honeymoon, why write the rest of the story? We know the ending at the beginning. Not a bad story, but knowing what her problem is going in and knowing his feelings about alcoholics, why would he want to give up alcohol for the rest of his life? He should have tried harder with Asian Barbie. They were the better match.

Well written, believable, I even know a couple who were something like this. I enjoyed reading it and will look for more of your stories.

5 star rating!

Five stars.

Having come from an alcoholic family this story really hits home.

Loving the story so far. He's got a long row to hoe though, picking an alcoholic as a probable future wife. Although she sounds like a bit of a mean drunk, it's obvious she does love him. She's sorry afterwards for her behavior while under the influence, yet like most drunks, becomes angry and refuses to discuss anything about her drinking habits. Actions have consequences; that's something she needs to learn quickly.

Biggest problem for him right now though: she gonna eventually get him killed as he tries to protect her when she's plastered. Her daddy needs to hire her a full-time bodyguard and Bill needs to keep looking for a mate.

What a letdown. I read these stories to be ENTERTAINED... not aggravated and bored to death.

All I can say is that it was well written.

Gave it two stars for content.

And she's an alcoholic. And she's rich. And she's been spoiled. A horrible combination. He's supposedly a smart guy. When she texted him late at night he should have either ignored her or told her he couldn't meet her. This is a train wreck looking for a place to happen.

High risk high reward woman for sure

Some way to lure him back at the end telling him she got drunk, got a random guy, fucked him, took off driving drunk & ends up in jail with cum running down her leg. Yeah, would make me really want to jump right back into a relationship with her, with images of her doing this dude bareback. Not. Can anyone say STDs? I know he ended the relationship and was also gettin' some but during the pitch to win him back she tells in great detail how this guy fucked her. Might as well mention if she stuck her tongue in the guy's ass during the preceding BJ, yummy, that ought to may him want to kiss her right there. Again - Not!

Also if he and everyone else around her has to not drink to keep her sober she's not going to make it. Has to be able to stay sober on her own, even under distress. Likely he's headed for heart break even though the story portrays a "happy ever after" ending it's more likely that she'll fail the moment the support group isn't surrounding her.

Plus what about her schmoozing up to the old high school nemesis as this asshole was all about showing everyone how he was going to take and use her anyway he wanted whether Bill liked it or not. Drunk or not this is disrespect on a level that doesn't get forgiven.

begging for trouble for sure. But the author has explained they lived happily ever after so good. Not a risk I would entertain in the real world but enjoyed the story. Really like that he knocked the crap out of his high school bullies. Good for him regardless of what happened with the two of them.

Simply great, thanks for writing.

Excellent plot and really well written.5*s.

Booze and drugs; two of the curses of modern life. They cause so much heartbreak and misery.

Well written and interesting storyline.

This story was one of the better written stories I've read here in a long time. Almost like a TRUE life couple. The characters are believable, in my opinion, and how he handled the situation was like real life. They had a good relationship but when she drank, it went bad. He finally had enough and dumped her. He went on with his life and found a 'friend with benefits '. Then April found herself at her bottom, She realized she had a problem, and AA helped her (I know Bill W.). Glad both were able to make-up and live it "one day at a time".

It seems ridiculous to me to take her back. Why would he want an alcoholic who thinks it is ok to get drunk, get groped, carry on with a girlfriend, leave him to dance slow dances with someone he obviously hates, rage at him and insult him? As the story is written she's a narcissistic princess and he's better off not setting himself up for the virtually inevitable pain that would come from being with her.

I gave it what imo was a generous 2 stars.

I don’t know if your intention was to paint a young man with self esteem problems that come from a dysfunctional family dynamic and gains self assurance and a positive and mature nature ? Nor do I know if you meant to depict the loose morals and easily manipulated tendencies of an otherwise sober and dedicated monogamous girlfriend ? That’s how I took them , it seemed to be a coming-of-age story about a bullied , weak underachiever whom lacked the self confidence to be himself , then upon meeting the epitome of ideal girls , he digs up the courage to assert himself and it pays off in a big way . But since life isn’t a bowl of pitiless maraschino cherries and his confidence is challenged with every speed bump he rises to the challenge and lives happily though bumpy ever after ! I loved it 5 stars from me

4 stars - I liked the story, BUT I also have issues around alcohol, as it caused me no end of problems throughout my life. The way this couple got back together was not OK, especially for her continuing to drink after he dumped her and then having unprotected sex, dui, jail, etc., etc.

STD's with special attention for AIDS, should always be the next issue to get past, plus proof of a clean healthy body must be mandatory before any real discussion about getting back together, having sex, or even kissing for at least 6 months. THEN maybe they might get back together - but it would takes many months and even years.

Much better than ch.01. 5*

Sounds like a true lire story.

A serious issue covered, and an excellent story in how it was told, very realistic. Unless you've dealt with an alcoholic, especially one that insists he isn't even though his blood alcohol was .47 when they pulled him from the wreckage, you can't imagine the hell it causes. Thanks for taking on a real-life issue.

And he'd trust her WHY? I'm fine with forgiving her. Even one day being friends. But never taking her back.

Her arrogance about never finding someone like her again? My answer would be "THANK GOD!!!!"

Alcoholism sucks. Some tough btb rhetoric on her. Yes she is an alcoholic, but getting to the point to take it seriously is not a simple thing. And her saying he was giving up the best test ciukd ever happened to her is not a big thing. It wasn't arrogance. It was spoken out of pain and anger of what she lost while hung over and her heart breaking. She doesn't even remember what she did or said the previous night. He did the right thing breaking up with her. She did the right thing admitting she had a serious drinking problem and went to AA. If alcoholism is the core problem and it can managed then why not able to trust. It is alcoholics who do not admit they have a serious problem and do nothing but drink more who ate a lost cause. They have to hit bottom first. She hit her bottom. Hence her change of heart. Of course relapse is always a risk.