Asperger's Is No Drawback

I rose and said "I do understand, Your Honor."

"So be it, then. I enter the plea deal executed by the prosecution and the defense. Officers take Mr. Altman into custody. Court adjourned," "Judge Smith said, rapping her gavel on the bench.

I filed out of the Courtroom with the detectives. Jen and her friend left quickly. I peeked back into the Courtroom after I was sure that Jen had left and saw my parents, LuAnn, the guy in the cheap suit, my Dad's attorney, and the woman in the robe, laughing.

*****

Jen didn't waste any time. The very next day, Thursday afternoon, I heard from my Dad's attorney that Jen had filed for divorce, asking that the pre-nup be voided since I had been convicted of a felony, therefore entitling her to one-half of our marital assets, including my trust fund which she "estimated to be $955,000." I don't know how she got that figure, but it was close to being right.

Imagine Jen's surprise when she got into work on Friday morning, all beaming and happy, when Jeff Lovell walked up to her desk as she was sitting at it. Jen looked like she had seen a ghost when she saw Jeff's flawless face and toothy smile and stammered, "Jeff, uh, oh, well, I'm so glad that you recovered so fast."

"Are you really, you conniving bitch?" he asked, his toothy smile morphing into a snarl. "Here are your transfer papers," he barked as he threw some documents on her desk. "At 10:00 a.m. pack up your stuff and get the fuck out of here. You're moving to the branch office on Chestnut Street. But wait until 10; got it bitch?"

A stunned Jen only nodded.

As she sat red-faced at her desk looking over her transfer papers, at 9:55 Jen saw a guy in a suit approaching her with an envelope in his hand. "Jennifer Altman?" he gruffly asked.

"Yes," she timidly replied.

"You've been served," he chortled as he tossed the envelope onto her desk.

Jen opened the envelope and saw that I was suing her for divorce for adultery, that the pre-nup was still in force, and that I had not yet come into the trust fund.

How do I know all this? I was watching on closed circuit TV in the main conference room where Jen worked. Once I saw tears forming in her eyes I left the conference room, walked by her desk, and simply said "You are a great con man, Jen; I guess that this time I - with my family's help - was a little better."

I think that she fainted. I'm not sure since once I broke eye contact with her I didn't look back, but I heard a thud and I did notice the co-worker that she had gone to the Courtroom with rushing toward her desk.

I went into Lovell's office, shook his hand, gave him $5,000 in cash, and drove to meet the locksmith who was going to change the looks in our house.

When Jen got home that night a Deputy Sherriff served her with a restraining order that a real judge was happy to grant given what she had tried to do to me. She was also given the key to the storage unit that had all of her personal belongings in it, and she was told that her parents were expecting her back home. As I watched her out of the living room window she was crying as she walked back to her car, and she just sat in it for ten minutes composing herself before she drove off.

*****

Through her attorney Jen asked to meet with me two weeks later on a Saturday. I agreed only on the condition that it be in private in my Dad's attorney's conference room.

Jen was sheepish when she walked into the conference room. Except for the circles under her eyes she looked as beautiful and sexy as ever. I waited for her to talk.

"I'm sorry, Aiden. I know that I hurt you. However, you're better off without me; and I'll tell you why. But first I have to know how you pulled it off," she said, only fleetingly making eye contact.

"I'm not smart enough to have done it, Jen, but LuAnn and my parents are geniuses. And as you well know, my parents are very wealthy and they have the happiness of their children as their number one priority, so it was their plan that did you in," I replied.

She nodded, and then I continued.

"You were too transparent in leaving clues as to what you were up to. I know that you hated Lovell and wanted me to find out about you fucking him because I always told you that I'd kill anyone that I found out was fucking you. Within fifteen hours of me finding the fake email from him that you intentionally left for me to find LuAnn and I went to see Lovell. I guess only someone as conniving and sexy as you are could have convinced him that you and I were getting divorced and that you had the hots for him. Of course after the first time he fucked you he wanted more. I can't blame the guy."

Jen looked a little queasy.

"When Lovell found out how agitated I was and how you had played him, knowing that I'd beat the shit out of him when I caught him with you, he quickly decided that he could live the rest of his life having only actually fucked you once. For $5,000 he promised he would get you transferred, rather than fired, so that I wouldn't have to pay alimony when I divorced you, and he would take a couple of days off work so that you wouldn't know what had happened until it was too late. He also didn't really mind it that despite how vile you are that he would have to eat your sweet pussy for a few minutes before we executed our plan."

I took a sip of my soft drink. "Want something to drink, Jen, you look a little pale," I chortled.

She shook her head "No."

"Let's see, where was I?" I mused. "Oh yeah, so Lovell gave me a key to the room he had rented, that morning we had a video camera installed, and LuAnn got some fake blood that they use in the movies - did you know that they call it 'Kensington Gore?' Anyway, she got some, and she and I practiced how I would apply it to Lovell to make it look like I'd beaten him to death. The actual scene that we played out in Room 129 came off even better than our dress rehearsal." I couldn't help snickering.

"But weren't those real cops?" she inquired.

"Yes, but the front desk didn't call 911. Those two cops were off-duty and waiting in the manager's office for your call. They are the two detectives that run the Police Boys & Girls Club, to which my father is a major donor. They were thrilled to be able to help him out. As soon as they were out of sight of the motel they took the cuffs off me and drove me to my parents' house. Lovell put his clothes back on in the ambulance and they took him home. He took a cab to the motel a couple of hours later to pick up his car, and told his office that he would be out Wednesday afternoon and Thursday. My mother even set him up with a guest tee time at the country club for Thursday," I chuckled.

"But that was the real Courthouse," she moaned.

"You've been watching too much TV if you think that it is possible, regardless of the circumstances, for a case to move from arrest to conviction in less than twelve hours. My Dad's attorney got use of the Courthouse by calling in a few favors, and the prosecutor was really the bailiff and the judge was one of my Dad's attorney's partners. They thought it was a hoot. Also, just for your information, I am two years younger than I told you, and won't come into my trust fund for another twenty months. I had to borrow the money from LuAnn to buy you that estate jewelry," I said with a smile, even though I was sick inside.

Jen groaned.

"Now you have to tell me something. How did you pass the gold-digger test that LuAnn set up before we were married?" I asked.

Jen perked up a little, and got a temporary smile before answering. "Two reasons. One, at that time I recorded all calls on my home phone, because I had a stalker who didn't leave me alone until he saw you for the first time. When I played back your conversations that were supposedly with your Mom and Dad and found out that it was really LuAnn, and that she was telling you what to say, it was obvious what was going on. Also, I could tell how much your parents loved you and that they would never disown you."

I forced a smile.

"Now, I need to tell you why you're better off without me," she said. She paused, obviously choked up a little, and then continued. "Before I do, I want you to know that you are by far the best sex partner that I've ever had, and a great guy. If I were capable of love I would have loved you. But if I'm honest with myself, I'm not capable of love - and I'm also not capable of fucking only one guy."

My eyes got wide. She sniffled for a few minutes, and then continued. "I've fucked six other guys since we've been married. None more than three times, and I've always made them use a condom, including - as you know - Lovell the one time that he fucked me." With that she shuddered. "To think that I let that creep fuck me, and it turned out to be for nothing," she moaned then shuddered again.

I was stunned. She saw the look in my eyes.

"I never violated my marriage vows," she continued. "I never put 'honor' or 'forsaking all others' in them, if you will remember." Of course I didn't remember, but was reminded of how some guests remarked that they were "unusual" vows.

"A technicality," I gruffly replied, having just had confirmed that she had been playing me our whole time together.

"I'm sorry, again, Aiden. That's why you're better off not being married to me, and I'm sorry that I was such a gold-digger and tried to get half of your trust fund. At least I hope that you enjoyed fucking me as much as I liked fucking you," she said, the last sentence in a sultry voice.

Shocking me again, Jen got up from her chair, walked over to me swinging her hips, sat in my lap and said "Do you think that we can keep fucking until you find someone worthy of being your permanent mate? If you agree, I promise to make all other guys use a condom, and I'll tell you if I don't so you can either stop fucking me or use a condom yourself. Please - no strings attached," she said, staring into my eyes.

I was disgusted with myself that my dick got hard. She couldn't help notice and gave me an evil smile.

I lifted her off of me, stood up, and said "I'll think about it. Anything else?"

"No," she self-consciously replied.

I walked out the door and down the stairs so that I didn't have to ride the elevator with her.

*****

To be honest, I was really, really horny for the week following my meeting with Jen. While of course I'd never again have a relationship with her, she was the best fuck I'd ever had - by far.

I talked to my divorce attorney, got him to draft a contract for me, and met Jen at a restaurant.

As soon as we ordered a drink I started right in. I didn't mince words. "Jen, I really would like to fuck you. Here's a contract that will allow that."

Jen was still reviewing the contract - only two pages long, double-spaced - when the drinks arrived.

"Tell me I if I got this right," she said with an inquisitive, not accusatory, tone. "This will not affect our divorce, we'll both expedite it to the extent possible; I'll use birth control but if a child is born I won't ask for child support; and you will withhold $25,000 from the sale of our house and pay it to me as soon as I tell you that I'm gonna fuck someone else without a condom, or you cancel the contract."

"That's right," I replied. "Plus, if you fuck someone else without a condom and don't tell me, I keep the $25,000."

"If I sign, when is it operative?" she asked with a diabolical grin.

"Immediately," I replied.

"Do you have a pen?" she giggled.

I handed her a pen. She signed and dated both copies and handed them to me, stroking my hand when she returned the pen. I signed and dated them, handed one copy to her, and put the other in my sport coat pocket. She took a twenty dollar bill out of her purse, dropped it on the table, chugged her drink, grabbed my hand, and said "Take me back to what use to be our house."

I do believe that Jennifer tried to fuck me to death that night. She was as passionate as on our honeymoon. For the first time in history she got me up four times in a ten hour period. I fucked her not just with passion, but with anger, hunger, and ire. There wasn't any love, but enough lust to make up for the lack of it.

Despite the continued great sex - Jen and I slept together an average of two or three nights a week, and fucked twice most of those nights - I had a void in my life and started acting sluggish. LuAnn became more and more concerned about me. She told me that I'd never be able to move on until I jettisoned Jen completely, and tried to get me to break it off with her.

After I sold the house, and Jen and I split the proceeds, except for the $25,000 that I withheld, LuAnn asked me to move into her house.

"Won't I cut into your action?" I asked, half-seriously, half-joking.

"What action?" she laughed. "I am getting frustrated by not finding a guy like you. If I do find a guy that loving and protective, I'll let you know. Plus, it's my mission in life to get you away from that cock-sucking leech."

Actually, Jen didn't often suck cock; but she sure did fuck.

*****

Jen and I didn't really date. We rarely did anything together except fuck. I didn't actually date at all. There was just something unresolved in my life relating to the divorce so that I just didn't have the impetus to put myself out there. The only time that I went to movies, plays or other cultural events was with LuAnn. I did go to ballgames or on bicycle trips with male buddies.

I was surprised how I felt when what would have been my four year anniversary with Jen came up. I was morose for days before and after it. Of course LuAnn was tuned into what was happening. When I got home from work on the Friday night after what would have been my fourth wedding anniversary she had a bag packed for me, and one for her.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I'm doing a one person special intervention on you to get you over your marriage and that bitch. I'm treating you to a weekend at a Five Star Resort," she chirped.

"But..." I started to say.

She put a finger over my mouth, said "Shhh," and then put her hands on her hips. "Don't give me any lip. We're going and by the time that we get back you'll send that bitch her $25,000 and forget about her.

LuAnn drove like a bat out of hell to the resort, about ninety miles away. She had arranged curbside check-in so a valet and bellman simply handed us our keys to what I assumed were our rooms and took the bags away. LuAnn was in a hurry to get there so that we could do some trap shooting - another thing, besides bowling, that she loved - before sunset. Of course she beat my pants off.

As soon as we were done trap shooting we went to dinner. We had a great time, drank a bottle of wine, and danced. A few couples asked us if we were on our honeymoon. I chuckled, "No, sorry," while LuAnn simply grinned.

After dancing we took a walk around the small lake on the property, sat on a bench looking at the moon, and then walked back to the Resort.

As was our custom, we took the stairs to the fourth, and top, floor, instead of the elevator. We went up to a large room at the end of the hall and LuAnn put in her key card.

"Where's my room, LuAnn?" I asked, puzzled.

"We just have one room," she said, pushing me into it with her little but fierce body.

I looked around. I had never seen a room like it - it was ornate and had a number of unusual features. One feature was very obvious.

"LuAnn, there's only one bed," I said. I turned around to look at her. She had just put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door. "I know," was her only response as she dropped her skirt, the only lower body garment that she had on!

*****

The day after LuAnn and I returned from our weekend at the resort I got a cashier's check for $25,000 made out to Jennifer and hand-delivered it to her office at lunchtime.

As I handed it to her I said, "It's now officially over, Jen. Have a great life," and walked out the door, anxious to get work over with and home to LuAnn.