All Comments on 'Auction Affair'

...doesn't matter when you take a bat to the back of the head. The former boyfriend needs someone to seriously go after him with a bat. To systematically attempt to seduce a married woman and then to drug her and essentially start raping her is so beyond wrong.

Good story. The scenario, as presented, was one I could see forgiving. I liked the husband and wife characters.

I'm gonna go back to the authors who write about Navy Seals, Rangers, etc..... I stopped reading them because they kind of got to be cliché, but the authors who write about the military guys are the only ones who write about real men. It gets old reading about wimpy guys who can't even get out of their own way. It is like a prerequisite in these stories that the guys either have to be special forces or totally dumb and wimpy. It is always one way or the other and I choose the non-wimps!

Wimp!!!! That says it all. Disgusting.

Total piece of shit, please find another hobby, you suck

I usually like your stories. You write well and have believable characters. But three points of view in a 4 page story is just too much. Tell Cable's story or tell the wife's story or tell the parents story, but not all three in parallel. There are simpler ways to introduce the other POVs when it is necessary to advance the story. Your differing POVs introduce new details, but none of it advances the story.

She is drugged and is unable to give consent but acquiesced on the one day that her husband is 25 ft away? THAT is your plot? How fucking stupid do you think we are? Then, rather than confronting his wife and her lover, he runs away?

There were too many holes to enjoy this story and I suggest that you critically look at this story to see why they detract from its enjoyment.

Knows no end does it.

but better than what a lot of people write. Especially the anonymous ones.

And a damn good read not great but very entertaining. Thanks for sharing looking forward to YOUR future submissions.

You are a good writer; just that this one lets his wife get away with everything. She was an admitted slut in college, she decided to keep meeting with an old lover (her error, not the drug), she admitted she can't control herself on the drug, and all she got was a spanking?

No penalties anywhere for her.

Keep writing though; I enjoy of your submissions.

I enjoyed this story. Well done. Thanks

I loved it. I'll bet Cable would have kicked Vernon's ass, much the way

This story kicked ass. Great job!

I liked your story very much. Keep up the good work.

but I doubt ol' Vern could survive going one on one with a 4x4 doing 80

that bastard deserves to be road kill

otherwise, a decent story

I want to like the story more, but it's far too scattershot - try and keep switching between points of view limited and balanced otherwise it can quickly become a mess to the reader, and in longer stories, nobody really wants to spend time sorting that kind of thing out.

What I really liked about this story was Carla's pov. Someone commented that there are no real penalties for her other than the spanking, but if you pay attention to the story of her life after "The Incident," you see that she is a woman who is living in constant fear of losing everything, while her husband and daughters are happy and oblivious. That kind of thing might not mean as much to men, but the emotional repercussions mean a great deal to women.

That's a life sentence. I tend to think that reconciliation stories aren't done well unless there's a balance in character flaws between the wife/husband lead characters, but I think this illustrates another kind of balance - actions and consequences that aren't necessarily divorce and BTB.

Your stories are a little hit and miss with me, but I consider this one a hit. Good job.

Thanks for writing this story. It is a good one. Although it did do a some switching back and forth. It was still a good read. Keep up the good writing.

I believe her. One in high school and Vernon. In this modern world that does not make her a slut. The one thing that bothered me, that she was not called on, was the fact that she did not want Cable to go with her to the Clements for the auction and where was she going when he saw them? Her car stayed at the auction I am sure that Vernon was heading to either a motel or his apartment. I guess that I think too much....

Have to agree about the difficulty introduced by the quick switches in POV. Better to do it in the third person.

Switching narrators without identifying the speaker really added to the story. I first saw this technique in Ken Kesey's, "Sometime a Great Notion". Liked the way you did it. Loved the story, no serious betrayal, no harsh revenge.

Woodbine68

Not a bad story - flow and pace ok. In terms of plot - credible. If the perp carries on with the kind of behavior exhibited sooner or later somebody gonna do him significant harm.

The question I would ask Carla and 90% of the other cheaters who honestly want forgiveness: what if the roles were reversed, would you be as forgiving as you expect others to be. My guess is not only no, but hell no.

I may have understood what the wife went through and may even sympathize with her, and that is only because i was with her all the time, BUT, as a husband, how did he he believe her her so fast, and why, seeing your wife in one place when she told you that is somewhere else, seeing her with another man semen on her face and she is liking it should and must shake your trust, and that goes to the unusual parents too, i say unusual because they immediately believed the wife and the immediately assumed that saving the marriage is in the best interest of their son's happiness, the husband didn't ask his wife she never mentioned accidentally meeting an old boyfriend for the last month or more, my point, the husband in this story can easily give the impression of a wimp because he gave the impression that he want to get back with his wife regardless of any assurances or at least discussing the reasons that made her do what she did. And another thing, fucking her withing hours when another man semen were on her face, didn't the husband felt a little bet disgusted or didn't he fight, just for a little, with some inner demons or insecurities or anything, Finding somebody you hold at such a high place in a situation like this and it didn't repulse you a little or affect your sexual attraction for a short time at least.

Sorry, I found your story nicely written and interesting. Thanks for writing and sharing it with us.

You wove a wonderful tale. The woman made a mistake but made up for it. She understood how she fucked up and worked like hell to fix the problem.

A love story with a little deception, making up , and knowing how to love each other again. A happy family and a happy ending. Some pain but no one is perfect.very good read. One of your best.

Liked your story! The woman made a mistake and then asks for forgiveness and doesn't slip again.

One - She had been distant and a little cold with him for the past month and - her ex was at the auctions for a month. She enjoyed his company and up until Oral Day was only foolish about being too open and friendly with him.

Two = After he spanked her, they should have run off to the hospital and had a blood test taken.

Overall, they worked it out because despite everything, the really loved each other and he really did believe in her.

Nice story - Thanks!

Interesting...a good story by Carvohi and a stinker by Carvohi posted on the same day. This one is very good, but misses a) on keeping the Reimers' name straight. Much more important, b) not accounting for Sweetie actively discouraging Hubby about accompanying her to this particular auction. She was enjoying her Bull's seduction, and was getting ripe for Big Casino (without XTC.). Bull just got too impatient!

Good job on documenting her narrow escape, then paying good attention to her 'wake-up call!'

4*

But this was so aggravating to read I finally had to stop half way through the 3rd page. My God, man; pick first person, second person, or third person, but pick one a stay with it.

I have never seen anyone change persons like that...even in the middle of a sentence!

From some of the other comments, I'm guessing the story content was okay, but please learn to write. Since I didn't finish I didn't score it either. Please, take some on-line courses or something.

The stories not bad at all, but the writing does need a little work.

This story was like a bad LSD trip.

Forget the writing errors. That will fix itself with more experience. A one time tryst if remorseful can be forgiven. In this tale she earned her way back. No more e for her, however.

HA

you have created some real people and stuations. Very enjoyable story

"I was no weak kneed cunt."

Actually he was a "weak kneed cunt" or more specifically a pussy boy.

That's like a non-man with no self esteem or balls.

Point of view jumping all around is really bad and confusing. Someone dismissed the problem, saying it will work itself out. It will if you recognize it's a problem and pay careful attention to fixing it. From the presentation I am guessing that you really don't understand what a point of view is or how to maintain it. You need to learn.

As to the plot, the characters are a bit oddball but interesting. One important point. While Carla was a bit foolish playing up to Vernon, he DRUGGED her. She wasn't asking for the drugs or drinking too much. She was flirting, which was foolish and can be dangerous. But she was drugged! She is not really responsible for her actions.

Cable is a strange dude. Yeah, he lets himself be manipulated a bit and certainly spoils Carla. But he loves her. That's a pretty good reason. So when this happens he takes pretty decisive action. He leaves her then gives her a spanking for her foolishness, which is about what she deserved. Vernon, the rapist, should have been beaten up and tossed in a ditch.

All in all a decent story line but the writing process needs attention.

Carla made a big mistake and was lucky she was caught by her husband! At the time the marriage could have died a quick death but Cables mom and dad put the two together. She wrestled him to the ground, gave her explanation, took a horrible spanking to ease his anger and then fucked him while telling him it was time to have more kids! She really loved Cable as did he really love Carla! His parents made a great decision and now they have two more grandchildren! I loved the story!! Very well written!!

Thanks for a very good read.

great story generally speaking but to say she got caught as soon as she started cheating is freakin impossible, rarely happens, so i give it a 4. if she came herself and confessed it would be more believable.

This is the kind of story I like. No willing cucks and no wimps. He definitely was NOT a wimp. No over the top revenge. That only happens in the movies and....

They all stink!!

Yeah right: no wimps or cucks my ass! Both, and in additon, a gullible stupid jackass who still has mommy and daddy telling him what to do. OMG!! YUCK!!! Grow the f*ck up already!! Do they still wipe your little tushy for you too?? If you want to kiss that mouth that just had some guy's cock in it and buy into her BS (the drugs made me do it, etc) bon appetite cucky!! Not me! Once is more than enough, regardless of the BS. Grow a pair for God's sake!!! Kick her ass to the curb!!

'Nuff said.

A feel good story after a close to disaster event. I like family friendly adult tales. Look forward to more of your work. Thanks, Carvohi! Dan

Soooo the slut gat away with cheating and nit getting divorced,,,just shows how Caleb is for believing the whore

You caught that statement to perfection in this story. And I like a happy ending. A little retribution for Vernon would have been nice though.

Thank you for submitting a story I truly enjoyed.

I though the spanking was over the top and at times the tenses "I" should have been Carla, he or she. I couldn't rate it 4.5 stars so I rated it 5 stars.Nevertheless, I clearly understood the intent and that is what is important. Overall, the story was well though out, well written, and easy to follow and understand.

Especially, I liked it that the story was plausible and realistic which seems to be lacking in so many stories.

Ok story but the wife's plausibility of being drugged was so very lame. And the clueless husband is a complete idiot to accept such a bull-shit excuse. Stupid wimp deserves to be cheated again and she will cheat again - "once a cheater always a cheater" - the stupid cunt just needs another excuse to cheat but she will be more careful from that point forward. Just another naive cuckold who will accept her shit time and time again.

Loved the raw emotion and the wife's wrestling hold.

The parent's intervention was good.

He expressed his pain, she used her charms on him, he wasn't able to resist.

He was hurt and she is an ass.

All we have is words to describe all the pain and suffering that goes along with betrayal.

Good read

Thanks

The good: I liked the writing style. A lot of little word-gems in there, turns of phrase that brought a smile to my face. Also, the dynamics of the relationship rang true, as did the circumstances of the cheating (well, mostly anyway). The differential in power in the relationship can affect respect, foster taking the other for granted, etc. I thought the wife's perspective of being complaisant in hubby's love, and being dissatisfied and even jealous of their daughter (especially after the details of the difficult delivery) rang true. I thought the spanking was over the top (15 minutes, broken skin, REALLY?), but had a cathartic realism to it-an Ohio story featured that device and I thought it was effective, too.

The bad: Needed content editing. The prolonged backstory and the reflection on the childbirth added character development, but were too long and clumsily handled. Seemed like a lot could have been trimmed and the story made more focussed. A small example that irritated me from page one: "I liked her parents. They were okay I guess." Well, which is it?

The ugly: The use of multiple perspectives and tenses-first person for the hubby, the wife, and the parents, and othertimes the 3rd person. Sometimes, they switched in the same paragraph. It was annoying and even confusing at times. And, it served little purpose. At most, use hubby's and wife's first-person narration. Otherwise, the delivery is garbled.

4 stars.

I can honestly say I have never read anything quite like this. In the interest of good manners, lets just leave it at that.

SHould have chopped the bastards balls off and dropped the cheating whore. I love her ilove her, so fucking what. Find a new love and have more kids with her. Then at least he can find someone that won't fuck around on him or play games with him.

cheating lying piece of shit fucking cunt whore.did i sugar coat it? and her fucking wimp husband and the cunt will do it again. keep her around for the money and fuck her like the whore she is but get ready to dump her ass and hide every fucking cent you can get your hands on. oh, and never fucking kiss her again.

Amazing story literally loved it

His mom has him groomed for cuckolding like his father.

R two total morons. Please don't write anything else.

The biggest thing you need is an editor. You keep changing tense & character in the middle of a sentence. That makes your stories somewhat confusing--more in the "Who's On First?"--style.

folks from the 60s maintain a common sense attitude, TK U MLJ LV NV

The constantly changing POV was a bit disconcerting at first but I got used to it quickly and then found it refreshing. It is different from the normal "stick to one perspective" that less skilled authors employ. It is amusing how so many readers get into a rage over a fiction story on a free erotica site. Maybe their lives are so pathetic that they only feel important when tearing down someone's work. Thanks for the entertainment.

Your story concept will disgust some but not all readers. YOU have the right to take YOUR story where YOU want. Don't let others force you to write stories their way. If they want stories their way, let them write it.

Your characters could use more fleshing out to be more believable. For example, I find it hard to believe that a mechanic (a professional problem solver) couldn't figure out how to take care of Vernon.

I do agree with another commentor, this definitely needed help from an editor to make it more readable and to help the story flow better. Don't be discouraged though. A classic example is StangStar. His early work also sucked in many ways but he has worked to improve his craft and got a great editor that helped him improve even more. I think he is now one of the more gifted writers on this site but he had to work hard to get to that level. Hang in there. Keep writing. Keep growing. I look forward to reading more work by you.

Vernon should have been either jailed or have the shit beaten out of him with a baseball bat! Slipping wifey that mickey was WAY over the line! Carvohi, please make sure you do some kind of update where Asshole gets his just reward!

Is this the plot point in all your stories? The wife did it under the influence? This just turned up in your latest story (7/8/13).

'nuff said

Thanks,

Sam

I think it's a great story, and mostly well written - especially the first half. But the changing POV was driving me crazy. You apparently had the story edited, but I can't believe that a good editor would have missed that. Anyway, good story, good ending, and good job. Thanks!!!

dc_p

And she almost lost everything and probably the only reason she did not is because the author decided it that way lol. RL might have been good to her but not that good - one abusive paddling and all is past?

Vern definitely needed some payback too -

I too had some issues with the POV shifts with no clutch - it got hard to be sure who was speaking - not so hard you could not work it out just harder than it should be -

Same old song and dance.

Yes you do need all the help you can get! First you really should learn how ecstacy affects you if you are going to use in every story you write! It doesn't work that way noob!

It was rather confusing how you'd switch points of view in the middle of the paragraph. If you write one like this again, stay in the point of view you stated at the beginning of the section or write it in 3rd person, so it flows better and isn't as confusing.

Most of the stories on Literotica are so sad and sordid they leave a bad taste in your mouth. It's nice to read one that isn't depressing and disturbing. I liked it. Thank you for writing it.

Bill

not have been good streetfighter but one baseball bat negates a lot

Been married 26+ years, would be the last if that happened. Not the end event, the times before that, using drugs...gone.

This wasn't a copy of anything. It's mine, ALL MINE. It's a cool story too.

but screwball writing...

Another wimp story. But things like this happen. Story is written the worst wat. The author is unable to stick to the narration ftom one point of view. At one time its first person then the wife but suddenly it changes so fast that you have to be very careful who'd be narrating the next sentence. All mixed up.

Why don't you learn story writing first? You stupid ass!

I like your stories very much .. Thank U

Re-read this. Early on, I hit something I saw, but then forgot from the first reading. An auto mechanic who doesn't know how to spell BRAKE. GMAFBreak!

Still a sweet story ... Sweetie really had an unfair advantage over Hubby. She got him 90% reconciled in ONE session! Must be a record!

on the fairy wimp cuck writing author. 1*

almost anything can be made to work, TK U MLJ LV NV

this was going to turn into a cuck/wimp story or I would have aborted after the first page. From a strictly clinical point, you could use a good editor; not just for errors, but also for continuity. You switched POV's so often, with no acknowledgement, it took away from the story. Just sayin'...

you have to remember he wanted to go to the auction and she intentionally knew she talked him out of going. She knew the other guy was seducing her and had been for a month. She was in the other guys car, that was intentional, no discussion of where they had been going. She was intentionally carrying on at least an emotional affair with the other guy. No discussion was made concerning possibly STDs and HIV. It wasn't one thoughtless emotional moment, it was a planning affair involving lying to and deceiving her husband. Sorry no way in hell! BTW a smaller woman with a damaged ankle tackles him, who works in a garage, and overcomes him on the floor, GET REAL.

By sucking another mans cock AFTER being married to another. It doesn't matter if she had a dozen niggers (don't worry, I'm black) lined up and taking turns, cheating is cheating. She is just meat after that, other mens meat.

If she blew another mans cock after being married, then she's fucked other men. It really is that simple. A cheater cheats with everything including her mouth, asshole and cunt. She is a cheater, will always be a cheater. The choice you must make, can you live with a cheater happily ever after?

I've read two of your stories now. The only thing that was different really, was the names. I suppose it's nice you keep them together. But, for women who proclaim such undying love, they sure give it up pretty easily. In reality, there is far more to it than total stupidity. Try one where the husband just can't get past the betrayel.

Don't listen to any of the nay sayers about what was wrong with this story, it was really a good one.

First of all, your POV changes weren't bad at all. Sometimes it's great to be able to get the thoughts of all persons involved in an incident. Remember, James Patterson will switch POV in his novels, as well as switch from 1st to 3rd person in his novels, and he's a bloody millionaire!!!!!! So it can't be that bad.

Anyone who tries to say that her adultery was all planned probably has never dealt with temptation themselves, or felt guilty when they committed it. There is an old saying in Alcoholics Anonymous that goes "the relapse starts long before you take the drink." When you screw up next to temptation, especially when being seduced or manipulated, the process happens in such a soft and gentle way that once you've crossed that line you snap up (like your character did) and are like "How the hell did I get here!?!?!?!?" It happens, it really does, and I could relate to it happening to your character.

Also, the people who get into that "Burn the Bitch" mentality are completely ignorant. They have probably never been really in love with someone. When you get betrayed, you are looking for almost any excuse to try and forgive the person. You're almost praying that they'll somehow say or do the right thing to make everything alright. It's funny, but the rejects who've made comments on your story, are just like the "friends" that the son's parents wanted to keep him away from, so your critics proved your point in their comments!

Small girl with a sprained ankle taking down a mechanic. Sure, it's not only possible but it's probably. She just grabbed on and hung on. You'd already mentioned that he was clumsy. What was he going to do? Punch her out? Choke her out? First, she's a woman, second, he loves her. Its funny how that works but it does. She grabs and refuses to let you go, and that is all you really want, just wish she'd been hanging on that tight earlier in the day!

Anyway, great story. I gave it a 5. Have read a couple others of yours and so far have been very impressed. You do a good job of getting into the emotional turmoil that people go through in either romance or betrayal. Hope you keep writing.

I note that a) you finished the story, b) had no weird plot twists, and c) did not have characters change their behavior like chameleons walking on a rainbow throw rug. Bravo ! I favor BTB but this was well done. Semi-decent possible explanation of some of her behavior (Ecstasy) enough to form a basis for reconciliation. Not sure I like the nosy, pushy parents but they are the key to the plausibility of the story. Not so much mom, but dad. Dad's opinion and support are key, it helps kill Cable's desire to maim, destroy, and divorce. Having dad favor reconciliation cuts the machismo factor significantly. The fact that they were his parents made it effective, her parents wouldn't have cut it. You also dealt somewhat with the "after." Instead of "we lived happily ever after in our Shangra La", you talk about issues that continued to exist after reconciliation. I was especially pleased that Cable would throw her behavior at her periodically when having an argument. Its real not Lifetime channel.

Good writing in general. Here are 2 constructive critiques:

Make sure your storytelling is consistently done from a character's POV. There are many places where I had to reread the paragraphs to understand who is telling the story.

Also, limit the events that you describe so the story is not scattered all over.

Disgusting... Cable's a wimp. He needed to get some the side to even up the score.

Keep up the good work. Story believable and good delivery.

Only one character should narrate in the first person. I got lost when you kept changing the narrator paragraph-by-paragraph.

I agree with the comment about one person narrating other than that a very good story over all.

If you are going to switch who is talking, start that section with the person's name

other than that well done. an old proof reader's trick is to read the story backwards, it makes you focus on the word and how it is used.

a mendicant mollusk?

This was a fine story and a good read. I think the only reason I couldn't give it a 5 was because the reconciliation was a little too quick and didn't address the boy friend and how she didn't want Cable to attend the auctions with her. This led me to think there was something there for her and she might be dealing with those old feelings.

Reconciliation made sense with the limited scope of the cheating and the extenuating circumstances.

I believe there are drug tests for ecstasy if he wanted confirmation of her story.

I think when she cries she SHOULD tell him it's because she's so happy is is thinking about how she almost threw it away.

I don't believe you have to like the characters, or what they stand for, to like a story. I too found that changing narrators, sentence by sentence,a bt confusing for my feeble mind. But it's not a fatal flaw, just distracting. This is an adventure that is just screwed up enough to sound real, and keep the interest of the reader.

Good effort. 5 stars in my book.

but it was nice to have a story where the couple managed to work through the problem. Thanks.

We all slip at one thing or another getting it right paid off for these two

The big heroes who blame the woman because she was drugged and raped.

It has to be her fault cause she's female. She forced the male to drug her and rape her. Cause God forbid that a male ever has to accept any responsibility.

And then there are those who question my masculinity because I scornfully judge their adolescent misogyny to be vile and shameful.

Like I've said a hundred times before: "Dribbling some sperm on your lap makes you a male. It is accepting responsibility that makes you a man."

Thanks for sharing I enjoyed the story and the characters, its nice reading a story about a loving family. Thanks again!

I thought my protagonist in Curse of the Scots was pretty manly. Also, in my world a man is good to his women, he cares for then, he accepts that they can make mistakes, but if he doesn't think it'll work he will walk away without rancor.

I liked your story very much. We all make mistakes, and it is hard to admit it. This marriage was saved through old-fashioned forgiveness and love. By the way, men stumble at times, too. Well done!

The writing and the basic story was very good. I think the author tried too hard for a reconciliation. I really enjoy a story that makes me think. I don't know if I buy the ecstasy in the coke idea. Why did she not want her husband to go to these auctions with her? Why did she dress especially nice and sexy for this auction? There was more going on than we are told. What about all the lunches, etc. We have only her word that this is the first time and nothing else ever happened. What were they going to do at the warehouse if she didn't get caught? Sorry, I just can't buy this ending.

Thank you for the story.

I will say I respect how he did act - he took no shit - he demanded an explanation - he let his insecurities show and dealt with them.

He forgave her - good for him we need to let go - for our own sakes -

He kept - it worked out this time - and she was clearly not the serial cheater type - so it worked and it was the right choice. But he took one hell of a risk - in no small part because of Callista - works for me 0

Thank you for sharing this story -

I enjoyed the read, and thought it was sweet and loving.

I didn't like going back and forth and viewing the story from different points of view. That was distracting and didn't help the flow of the overall story. My other issue is that he believed the fairy tale she spun about that being her only time that she cheated. I guess I understand and I think the real reason her took her back was the kid. If they hadn't had children I think he kicks her to the curb. Like I said - not bad. A 3 star effort.