All Comments on 'Average Joe Ch. 06'

I like it. You did not need to have him go out with the one from the bar. I don't think it added anything. In fact it made Joey less likeable.

keep it up! i find myself looking up to see if youve posted something as soon as i log on...

I tried to put myself in Joey's shoes. What might a young man do when he thinks he might have lost his first real love? It's a very hard question to answer. Joey's a good guy but far from infallible. Thank you for staying with me. Last chapter has been submitted. Hopefully out tomorrow.

With Respect

DG

I have to disagree with PT. If anything, you have made it very clear throughout the story, that if Joey were in a committed relationship, he would never cheat. Having failed to understand Ariel's meeting with her brother and thinking any chances of a romance with her were impossible, it was normal for him to revert to his "single" days and find solace in an older woman's arms.

DG-- Another great story. I find Joey a l little dense, naive, unsophisticated -- but that's the way you want to depict him. Whether or not his lack of formal education and sophistication will bode well in a relationship with Ariel is THE question. Thanks to Mary, he's well-versed in the sex department, but Ariel, after all, works in an environment loaded with college grads, medical doctors, etc. that are sure to pose some risk to her fidelity to a store manager. Can't wait.

Like others have said, joey was written just a little too awkwardly for me, but then again thinking back on my callow youth, maybe you got it pretty much right? Your stories are enjoyable and usually filled with likeable people, just like most of the people you find in life.

This is a lovely story. It gives me a really good feeling. Thank you!

This is a classic, just terriffic! I love your writing and your style. Thanks for sharing.

Until this one my favorite DG story was what now but this is my new favorite. Great job!

Even had a happy ending. Thanks.

Sorry this story is coming to an end. Like it much.

Looking forward to more of the same from this great author.

Tom: AKA Vietvet

Five... But I will quibble that the introductory blurb left

me with the impression that Ariel would be a doubtful quantity at the end of this chapter. So the sudden visit and her getting over her anger caught me off base!

You can tell a story with the best of them. Joey is believable, an ordinary guy. I hope Ariel realizes what a good man she got, one who'll stand by her and work for her his whole life.

However, we members of the Union of Concerned Quibblers take our duties seriously, and therefore quibbles follow via "Send Feedback."

A really really great story. Thanks!!!

Would Luv To See/Read One or More Chapters

On Ariel and Joey's Marriage/Wedding and Birth

of There First Child.

There are a number of sex-education-by-mature stories. Almost all are missing the proper results of the education, namely, experiences with others. This story is a wonderful exception. Mary's educational benefits are shown with other mature women and, most importantly, with Ariel.

Great going.

Paul in Oklahoma

...but enjoyable. Looks like these folks eat mostly takeout pizza. Do they ever cook? If it goes in their mouth, it has to be fixed first. Nothing is chosen, it's picked out. A film or performance is never seen or gone to, it's always taken in. They never try to - they always try and...and on and on it goes. I suppose it´s american working class english. Yuck. Story is good. Barely 3 stars. Thanks.

"

I put the head of my cock at the entrance of her pussy.

"Ariel, I love you more than anyone else in the world. I want you to know that," I said as I pushed my cock slowly and deep into her.

Yes! I can't tell you how often I see stories that get this totally wrong...

They fuck, Then he proclaims his love.

WTF!? What is romantic about that!? It's nice to see it done right for a change.

"

"Where are you staying?"

She looked at me and said, "You're having one of your dense moments." It was then I realized she was spending the night with me.

Yep, that's love. Know your partners flaws and acknowledge that they are a part of them, rather than trying to change or 'deal with' them.

"

I told Ariel I wanted to do special things with her tonight. I wanted to show her how much I truly loved her. At first she looked at me a bit nervous.

"Ok," she said slowly, "but don't hurt me, I'm not into pain."

What!? Did you write what I'm reading? Because her response isn't to "do special things" and "show her how much he truly loves her", her response is to "... and then he took out a whip and some rope."

Look at every word that she has spoken about and to Joe. Then consider every word and action he has taken both in her presence and those that her relatives would relate to her. That is her impression of him, fair?

Now, explain why she would suddenly show genuine concern that this man is going to Hurt Her when he says "do special things with her"?

And, worst of all, to end the chapter with that colossal character crash?

You lost two stars for complete lack of understanding of your own characters and destroying the mood you had built the whole story towards.

You lost another star for dropping such a stinkbomb at the end of the chapter, leaving the stench right as those rating stars come into view.

Sorry pal but I have to say you are a self-satisfied, smug know-it-all. You want to show us you know something? Write a story and we will offer you our critiques. Till then, please STFU!

I don't know if it was the author's intentions, but Joey behaves and has social interactions as if he is suffering from Asperger's syndrome of high functioning autism. The style of writing is so diffrent to other stories from the same author that I reckoned it did it on purpose.

5*++++.

You sure know how to build-up suspense in a story. I like Nancy's character as a catalyst between Ariel and Joey who seems to have the largest blinders of all times. But Ariel certainly does not open up much or give out signals that a normal human being can normally decipher. They both need to improve their communications skills!!!

BJ

This series just gets better and better...!