by JimBob44
Jerry's face was twisted in rage.
Blood. There was so much blood. Blood was everywhere.
it seems to me that 7896355323*#0'9* left left right up 9 across 5 down down right center 8
The storylines are often sordid and the characters not perfect people, or even very smart. The vernacular might be annoying and maybe, too, the low-rent vibe. But, JB44 delivers good fiction, and lots of it.
Was from Louisiana and used to have a saying, your story brought it to mind, it seems to fit you. "Boy, you just ain't right." And I mean that in the best way...
Like it a lot. Especially your version of Biblical story of Lot. 5*
You can't seem to think of anything new, please stop adding rape to your stories. It ads nothing to them except making them sleazier.
What a confusing start. You write well, but in this case your storytelling let you down.
Who were the two women at the start? His dad, or was it his dad told him to go live with his father. Was she his step mum, or mum. Was the other his sister or step sister or half sister.
He wanted some soap so he drove on 52 or 467 or whatever number.
Maybe your next story will be told better, this one is way under par for you.
I don't care what the naysayers claim, I liked it a lot. Liked the characters and the pace of the story. Liked the interaction between the characters also. I will continue to read your stories. If people don't like the story, remind them how it cost them. Thanks for your time and imagination.
Could not stop reading for anything. Had to have the ending and thought it was a great story. Just keep on writing and I will keep reading. Do not listen to the other with negative responses.
Billy had his birth certificate changed to show who is biological father was, so why not legally change his last name from Stephens to Sloan?
I like this story as I do most of your other works but had a problem with Sarah's rape by Jerry as an unnecessary event in the story. Sarah survived an attempted rape by her prom date only to be physically and verbly abused then raped by Jerry, which was quickly forgotten and the physical abused made more important going forward in the way your story was written. The abuse alone drove Billy to go to his sisters aid and made the rape a huge plot hole and had Sarah within days of that whole event having sex with Billy. She seemed to get over an attempted rape and and actual rape pretty fast. Editting the actual rape by Jerry out of the story would be better not only for the story but for Sarah's character also. Just my opinion.
I'm pretty sure this is the 2nd or maybe third time I have read this one. Well done. I have no major complaints. Keep writing as long as it's fun.
Really enjoyed this. Complete story with solid character development, believable plot, and happy ending...if you first name isn't Jerry. 5*
Loved your rewriting of the Sodom and Gomorrah story. Cute story, have it a 5.
WTF.. You really stuffed up big time with that shitty bloody RAPE scene. There’s no way I would’ve read this story if I had know. ⭐️