All Comments on 'Bachelor Party - Sister Pinch Hits'

The story was definitely a hot story, but with so many places where the reader has to figure out what you are trying to say because of simple mistakes that an editor should have caught, I couldn't give you a perfect score. If you should decide to continue the story, I would hope that you will have an editor re-read the story and make the necessary corrections. Good job on the story though!

Was to hard to follow with all of the typos, misuse of words and what not.

only spelling, but also misuse of words and faulty grammar. Normally I can read thru but this was to distracting. A real example is "They both have back rounds in sports", the real statement should be. They both have backgrounds in sports ......... Since spell check wont correct such misuse of words, Dont really know what might help except reading a few hundred books by writers that know proper use of grammar and word usage.

only spelling, but also misuse of words and faulty grammar. Normally I can read thru but this was to distracting. A real example is "They both have back rounds in sports", the real statement should be. They both have backgrounds in sports ......... Since spell check wont correct such misuse of words, Dont really know what might help except reading a few hundred books by writers that know proper use of grammar and word usage.

Don't be discouraged by the editorial comments. This was a very sexy story that turned me on bigtime. The build-up to the taboo finish flowed naturally and really amped the excitement. I'd love to see the sequel.

I agree that you should not let the previous criticisms discourage you. It is true that "background" is one word and that "not-too-subtle" is the only correct spelling of that phrase; but overall you seem to be a good writer. Keep writing!

...but I still found it most enjoyable...and believable!

Take on the critism about editing and spell checking and move on - you've got talent to exploit and capability to give readers enjoyment...so Go For It!

Loved the story

I really enjoyed the story. The slow breaking down of inhibitions and surrender to alcohol fuelled lust was excellent. I do agree with the comments about editing, but please, take it as constructive criticism. This was your first story from what I can tell, and as far as they go, it was pretty good. Learn from your mistakes and get better with practice. Can't wait to see more.