All Comments on 'Bait and Switch Retype - Complete'

Damn 46 pages. Glad that its all together in 1 story though.

I have this in eBook format for free, if anyone wants it. Just PM me.

After the battle in the epilogue it felt rushed like you were tire of writing and just wanted to finish the story, even though there was plenty of story left to tell. That was the only problem I had with this story. I loved the story arc and the character development it just felt like the ending was to rushed it didn't blend well with the rest of the story's flow.

Alright, So I read through the entire thing, and frankly, your characters towards the end seem a bit flat. I love your plot though. The ending seems a bit rushed and there could be more to it. Frankly over all, I think you could turn this into a novel, if you were to fix a few things. Some of the sex scenes towards the end seem rushed, and others feel unnessasary.

Overall, good job, loved the story.

"All" of his kids have his power? By your count it sounds like he has ten kids by the various women, which is probably a low count considering you don't mention any with Shanna which I find unlikely. Why would things take ten years to get fixed with 10 kids, 5 of which are the super hybrids, when "all" of them have the same power as their father?

First off, as with most of your stories, this one got five stars from me. I love the plot progression, and the sex scenes you've written are intense. I also like that this one is separate from the other series that you've written as this shows your ability to come up with new stories.

I'm wondering about your comment at the beginning of this, "Dark_Brother rest in peace." What did you mean by this? Are you no longer writing? If so, Literotica will be a worse place without you.

Just wanted to say enjoyed most of the story and it was all well written great idea and excellent execution. I think if the "hero" wasn't such a class A asshole it would have been a great story. At the beginning he thinks about the responsibility of his power, and proceeds for the rest of the story to take 0 responsibility. Although it did get him laid a lot witch I guess was his goal, by the end it very much felt like as long as he was happy other people getting hurt didn't really matter....

for example Gina and what happened to her , then ignoring her after he changed her .. then again ignoring her with horrible consequences when she needed help, and that night going to work and leaving her alone.... again. Guy has no moral compass.

Thank you for an awesome story!

This chapter was posted by his best friend DBs_bro... head over to his story "fall of a hero" to find out more...

Wow! An awesomely long but action packed story! Well at least acting as 'liason' for the races he is prolly getting a nice, fat government salary, not to mention all the perks of being the world hero ;)

Ironically I noticed you like sll of the same Anime that I do :). (Btw, there is a new season of Sword Art Online if you havent been keeping up)

As for dealing with the demons, I kept thinking back to my WoW Mage... Just Sheep Them!! Hehehe

Thanks for writing!

Considering the length of most of the stories here this one was the "War & Peace" of literotica. The ending did feel a little rushed, but did have that Ender's Game feel to it. Overall well worth 5 stars and the several hours I spent reading it end to end.

the first time I read through this i thought it was amazing, but this rewrite is incredible, the extra chapter was awesome. although it saddens me to ehar that dark_brother has passed, rest in peace.

this is the 2nd website i've read this story and it never stops to amazed me.luv it

For those wanting context, the author of this retype was Dark_Brother's friend DBs_Bro after DB died from a roadside bomb. DBs_Bro still writes amazing stories on this site though.

Here's his profile page: https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1485925&page=submissions

Having never read the original story, I find myself privileged to have read this retype.

Reading the comments & seeing the DB was killed by a roadside bomb & having lost several of my friends to them as well - RESPECT Brother.

The story was not what I expected & caught me by surprise, but utterly gripped me like few others I've ever read on here - to the point I've done it in 24hrs & not slept with work starting in 2hrs time!

We have lost a erotic writing genius.

...if he doesn't hire this guy to write him a show. This guy has awesome character development.

YOU READ THIS YET WHEEDON? Imagine this guy writing the first spin-off of Serenity. His scenes maybe need some polish around the edges, but look at the characters and the metaphors.

C'mon, you know you want to.

Incredible piece of work. Thank you so much for your efforts with this, as a fellow author here, I know how much effort it takes to come up with stuff like this. I speak for all when I say, thank you for giving us this gift.

As usual, with a Great story, once I opened, couldn't close. Thanks for the story, Bro

I was expecting the rewrite to be a polished piece of work.

Second time reading this and couldn't put it down, read the whole story in a day it's so good.

I enjoyed this a lot and i'm glad I found it.

Ending was a bit rushed I think, but oh well the rest of the story keeps me in the 5 star ball park.

The only complaint i'd have is the sex got a bit much, but then, with it being made of so many small previously singular chapters I can see why

JC

First off, the praise: I really loved your story. I rarely give out five stars, but yours deserved it. I would very much like to read a sequel to this, though im not entirely sure how that would work, or if you are even interested in writing another.

Now, secondly, the constructive criticism: the ending seemed a bit rushed. I totally get why given how many segments this story must originally have been made of, but it felt a bit like "he solved the problem, but he fell into a coma. When he woke up everything was good". I kept expecting that he would go the way of Ender Wiggen, and simply annihilate them all, despite his personal moral dilemma. The fact that he kept to his ideals, no matter what the story threw at him, made him feel like a bit of a Mary Sue.

My only other minor problem with the story is that the sex towards the end, especially that last orgie/battle, became a bit much. I think you could have toned it down a little. For instance, he was supposed to be fighting the aliens, which required all of his concentration, yet he was still able to pleasure seven? (I lost count) women at one while doing it.

I know that my criticism is three times longer than my praise, but I really liked the story, so I think you deserve all the feedback I can give.

Gotta go 5 Stars, Good Sci Fi and well thought out. I agree a sequel would be good but I know why it won't happen.

Ramjet

Yes, I copied the stars.

Yes, this story deserves the extra bit of shine in its stars ;)

Thanks so much for this, it was a blast to read, again!

J

30 Hearts I love the so much i read it 6 times

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 30 Hearts i loved the story so much i read it 6 times

THIS SXXX WAS SO FRICKIN AWSOME DUDE! SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FIRST! I NEARLY CFIED FOR SOME DUMB REASON, I NEVER CRY! CONGRATS YOU TROUBLED MIND!!!!!!!!!

So unbelievably fraking good. I don't know where to begin so I'll just leave it as that.

Love the rewrite. An incredible story I would put more stars if possible.

46 pages of 'I did not want to put it down to sleep Awesomeness'

Wish I could give it more then 5 stars!

His best friend and Dark Brother’s wife have published this book in full on amazon and I just wanted to add that note here. Yes I bought my copy as soon as I saw it. I so dearly love this story and his other works as well. I’m sorry for his lose but I’m proud he was fighting for our freedom.

Definitely one of my favorite stories!

This is the 3rd time I’ve read this story and it seems to get better every time.

Definitely weird but totally absorbing. Very interesting in a whacky sort of way. I couldn't stop reading. Very original . Five stars.

I love this story and completely understand ending it the way you did. He sacrificed his power to save everyone. However, I think that with Leslie knowing the secret to human genomes and the children able to create switches, together they should be able to repair the gene and reactivate it. But great story nonetheless. 10 out of 5 stars.

Awesome story. I did look on Amazon but was unable to find it. Does anyone have a link or a title/author name with which to search?

Glad I didn't drop after "Picard is a pussy"

Great Job! Fantastic .

Minor note, in one of the final sex scenes between summer and nick you mix summers Name with Shanna and then immediately mention how Shanna is elsewhere on another ship.