All Comments on 'Bang, Bang, Out Went the Lights'

I almost always love your stories and this was no exception. Yes, there were a few little errors, but I am almost embarrassed to mention them. I must admit to rooting for Sarah, as she read like a wonderful person, but there was someone even better waiting in the wings as we found out.

I must admit to a little bit of curiosity about Jenny the first and if her third marriage succeeded. Now asking that question does tend to push this story into the realm of reality and there is no reason to make that leap, but I don't think we ever understood just what her problem was. Maybe on second thought it was trying to go home again and we all know you can't.

This one was interesting on many fronts. As a resident of Southwest Virginia and a certified "ridge runner", I've done my share of 'coon hunting, with the notable exception that we used Black and Tan 'coon hounds, not Blueticks. The story brought back some pleasant memories on that front alone.

It was quite odd that his first wife was so paranoid about HIM cheating then she winds up not holding herself to the same standard. It says a lot about human psychology.

I truly thought he would wind up with Sarah, and the story seemed to be leading in that direction, but you changed up nicely on us.

Altogether, a wonderful little tale with some good characters. Five stars.

good story but you got the first two girls names switched a couple of times and i got confused for a minute

PapaToad wrote a story where he pops the predator's privates with a pellet gun, but I like the connection with the rat hunting in this story. I wonder if the first Jenny learned from her mistakes - perhaps getting shot in the butt taught her something. Five stars!

I enjoyed it. You might want to do an edit and re-post because you switch Jenny's and Sarah's names around a fair bit, making for some confusion.

Nine shot, hi-standard .22. It cost me $49 brand new at GI Joe's so long ago I barely remember buying it. It's got some rust on it, still works fine.

I keep it on the ATV I ride now out in the woods on my place.

Wait a minute? My place? Last I wrote about I was retired and living in the city?

Well, things happen in life, I am working on that story.

Your story? Well written, interesting also. A bit of a formula here, with differences. I like differences.

You get a "5" from this old man. Damned if you didn't make my eyes damp in a couple of spots? Especially the Sarah stuff. Swear to God I knew her, or maybe one like her?

Thanks,

MGM

I'm not complaining, mind you. Wonderful rootsy slices of life were related from coon dog wherewithals to rat shot's selectively lethal qualities. Yet this narrator is not the type of man who thinks deeply, when choosing his mate.

There was a reason why Jenny's significant relationship, prior to narrator, crashed & burned & that may well have played a part why their marriage was underscored by discontent on her part. This man has blind spots when he's in love. Hopefully with his third woman, a lesson has been learned.

However I don't see where he vetted her any more carefully then the others. The narrator is a VERY sympathetic character and one wishes him the best. Yet just in case he might want to keep a couple loads of ratshot in a secure place.

Fine read, wonderful point made by author in preface, on how the justice system will shrug it's shoulders, in terms of ascertaining real blame in a marriage's demise.

Maybe you should have made all three of them Jenny, so that we would not get confused (-!! Seriously though the first Jenny was a bit over the moon in her behaviout, and for a bad-tempered lad Sammy was amazingly calm.

Good that he finally reproduced...

I am a very big fan of this particular author. But on this particular story there are 2 items or events which really bother me and I can't seem to figure out an explanation for why the author did this.

WHY MARRY JENNY ?

It is clear from the get go that Jenny is mentally unstable. Her reaction to Sam making an off the cuff humorous comment about his weekend plans shows a personality that has some serious problems. To be fair to Jenny SOME of these issues are probably not her fault. She comes from a bad marriage and from a guy who cheated on her. She lost her job and had to move back home.

But the reaction to Sam's comments ... were a SERIOUS CLUE. A normal person even if they misread the signals would at least at some point down the road.... The next day the next week... Or perhaps through a friend were surrogate... Try and make contact with the other person. Instead of a rage went for weeks .

So naturally of course Sam decides to marry this mentally disturbed woman. That is what kills the story. He spends absolutely no time that all thinking about what Jenny's gross overreaction MEANS... what the significance of her reaction is. Makes perfect sense. NOT.

The fact that Sam is new in her life does not mean that Sam is suppose to be a shit receptacle to all the problems that she has had in the past.

JENNY LEAVES SAM?

Then once they are married this story really turns into crap. Jenny has a bad job and is underemployed and is not doing what she was trained to do. So she is not in the best the mood and it appears to be affecting her judgment and personality. But by the same token they certainly are not SAM's fault!! . He cuts back on the visits to helping his own father who is partially disabled ... and still that wasn't good enough for Jenny. She did not have to keep working at a terrible job... that was her CHOICE .

The venom and the coldness and the distrust which erupted from her leading up to her fucking the other guy is a sign of a much deeper problem a psychological problems .

*-*-*-*-*-*-

THE SHOOTING ... Sam has the perfect alibi and asked the perfect questions so nobody knows or can prove that he had anything to do with the shooting or that he was the actual shooter. Even better... Sam asks Sarah the right questions in the right logical sequence as if he did not know anything about Jenny's cheating.

Yet Jenny is the one who leaves Sam? This is pretty offensive and outrageous when you think about it. And it makes no sense within the context of the story since Sam does not have to engage in a cover-up . No one not even the police believes he had anything to do with the shooting ... so he was perfectly set to play the outraged husband a walk out of the marriage and get the divorce !!

I am not against the idea of Sam marrying JENNY in this story. I just DO do not understand why Sam spends NO time thinking about what her actions and words reveal about her mental state and personality. But the idea of Jenny leaving Sam ... that is just a deal breaker for me... especially given the fact that the way the author wrote this story ... it should have given Sam the perfect reason to walk out of the marriage

liked the story. Thanks!

wonderful story. THANKS again

I really thought Sam would end up with Sarah, with all the setup and all. Sarah leaving was pretty abrupt.

To HarryinVA: Jenny's behavior, as you said, can be explained by her bad first marriage. Sam knew this, and accepted it for what it was.

As for your dealbreaker, Jenny leaving, I thought it was pretty clear with Jenny's letter. She held him to a high standard, but ended up cheating herself, and getting caught.

Knowing that their marriage is dead, and that Sam will never trust her again, she leaves. It's not about the shooting even though she mentions it. It's about her blowing up the marriage, and knowing fully well that it's dead by her hand. THAT is why she left.

Anyway, nice read.

Ass always you give us a great story, and I love your work! Thanks for sharing and keep'em comin. hodunk

Another great Q-tale ... thanks a lot!

I had the same reaction as HnVA ... Keep Jen as a good friend like Sarah after she wigs out the first time!

Minor quibble ... Any cop worth diddly-squat would ask to run a residue test despite Sam having been away. Don't know if he did anything to clear* that before returning home from trials. Even if he had a reason to have residue from the trials, it would have put him under much tighter scrutiny!

5*

*A couple or three hot paraffin treatments would probably clear the hands and wrists!

That was one good story. Life can throw you a lot of curves,but in this story you put together a happy ending. To bad he and Jen coudnot communicate better.

I loved your story and thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thank you.

Cliches used to glue the story together, priceless. Meloncholy under-current: Jenny I was never going to work; Sarah always on the cusp, never closer, moving on. Really good story, just not particularly happy. The name switches between Sarah and Jenny confused. Why didn't editing catch them? Five stars.

You really need to watch names, you swapped Jenny and Sarah around so many times I didn't know which you were talking about.

There's an underlying logic to Jenny I's actions that make me really like this story, but you really have to look closely to catch it.

Basically, it's this: Cheating is a form of rejection. Being cheated on by one's spouse or girlfriend basically says you are out of the picture. That's why it's such a terrible thing to do - the emotional wounds cut way deeper than any slight on "honor". Fuck vows, rejection HURTS.

She, in her attachment to her new husband, is paranoid and when he always places a bunch of bitches (lol) before his own wife, that in her own mind, is just another form of rejection. The thing with his father was just ugly, he put a POSSIBLE business gain for daddy before his own wife, the woman that he married and wants to have children with. I'd fault the character for that. It's a dick move.

That said, his behavior doesn't excuse cheating on her part. That's what communication is for. If you aren't going to bother to communicate with your spouse, you don't really have a marriage and might as well get a divorce. Stabbing them in the face with cheating serves nobody.

As for violence, it's the last resort of the neanderthal. A real man will find better ways to get revenge if he needs to, and the simple fact is that if the whore cheated on you, you didn't have a marriage worth saving anyway. Assaulting someone for it is just a petty move to restore some semblance of "honor" that only dumbasses in the he-man woman-killer anti-cuck crowd believe in. There's BTB, and then there's jurassic era rejects like those.

I like your writing and you have the imagination and skill to spin a worthy story. However, you use a lame plot device that too many authors on this site use as a crutch/cliche.

We have seen our hero interact with Jenny and Sarah through most of your tale - you give 'tells' that imply that Jenny will fail our hero ( Jenny can't stand the dog/breeding involvement of his father while Sarah, though not thrilled, can immerse herself in some part of it). Because Sarah and Sammy have a longstanding friendship, it appears they will end up together. But you bring another 'Jenny' out of left field. someone we don't know and he ends up with her. As nice as you try to make it seem, it does not satisfy. Jenny II doesn't fit in - she's out of the original picture and is a throwaway ending.

Please continue to write. But try to keep your plot involved with the principals of the story - introducing a Wonder Woman at the end diminishes your earlier efforts in the story.

That had a bit of everything in it. A fun read...Thanks

The story I really liked the Idea of Shooting Asshole in the Rocks and her in the Cunt.

Made it so she could'nt shave w/o explaining what made those "marks"

I hoped he and Sarah would have a great love affair, but I guess they were such good friends that it couldn't be......I'll have to think about that some more. Five Stars all the way!

Thanks for the story it was a great read!

am i the only one that noticed that J2's son's name changed? it went from josh to jason, kinda lost me there

First off, your prose flows smoothly. The people speak like real people. The people ACT like real people.

Things I liked:

The raspy pubes was a touch of versimilitude which just worked. One reads about this or that ten inch cock and how he rang her chimes and how they were 'swept away'. Well...anyone who has had sex (granted, probably not everyone on this site) knows that there are little strange things that happen, get your attention but you ignore and get back to the fucking. Raspy pubes. An odd scent. A pussy fart which causes both of you to cackle at a critical moment.

That made it sing. You believed it was real sex, not 'porn' sex.

I liked Jenny and the narrator's interactions. Early dating is fraught with bumps and bruises. So Harry is both correct (warning flag) and wrong. He forgets that people forgive. He forgets that some guys will put up with a lot for someone smoking hot. A minor misunderstanding is the least of the sins women (and men!) commit early in a relationship.

I liked how he had a 'sweep' of characteer. He had interests. He had obligations. He had friends and you believed the relationship he had with Sarah and Jenny.

I just liked Sarah.

Where it went wrong:

You messed up the names of characters at critical junctures. I've done it. It happened more than once. Be more careful.

I REALLY hated how you glossed over their 3 months of coexisting. Yes, some authors drag that out. It really deserved more than a single paragraph and a note. Why did he stay? What did she say? That part of the story, including her disappearing seemed truncated. Consider this: You spent more time discussing GPS units on frigging coon dogs than you did on the dissolution of their marriage. But do you think I came here to read about Coon dogs OR GPS?

It wasn't bad but I felt slightly cheated.

As written, I understand the Sarah/narrator dynamic. I think they COULD have worked...but she was 'trolling' while she was fucking the N? Huh.

Jenny 2.0 came out of left field. I didn't care about her, I didn't care about the kid. She was a footnote to make it a happy ending story. While reading it, I was going to castigate you when Sarah disappeared. I feel unsatisfied by 'he lived lonely and alone to the rest of his days' stories. But...I'm STILL dissatisfied because Jenny 2 came out of nowhere.

Which means I am impossible to please.

I wish you had written more.

Your story follows my life, only I married 4 times. I was always the nice guy and I have found my "Second Jenny" as you put it.

Thanks for the story. I am a big fan and enjoy reading your stories.

enjoyed again thanks

it wasn't your best one

kind a dull

3stars this time

You need to get a real editor who will catch the stupid little mistakes that detract from what is a really decent story. Names were a big problem in this story. You couldn't keep your women straight.

Also the ending seemed rush. As a reader, I like to savor the hero's triumph but not this time.

Still love your work. Thank you for sharing and please keep on writing.

But someone(a man?) who was in coon dog competitions met his wife at Yoga?

Really?

It was a good story, not one of your best but good enough.

Thanks for a nice story. The only criticism is that there were several instances where there were repeated words or phrases and sometimes the names of the characters were switched. Better proof reading would have caught these things I beleve

Lucky it wasn't loaded.

ALL OTHER COMMENTS NOT WITHSTANDING, A VERY ENJOYABLE AND BELIEVEABLE STORY. EDITING COULD BE IMPROVED, I.E. WHO IS JOSH IN PAGE 5? KEEP ON WRITING.

Very well written and filled with interesting elements. I wasn't sure if he would end up back with his first wife or with Sara. The end was a pleasant surprise. Thanks.

I enjoyed the story and it reminded me of growing up on the farm. We hunted coons and all that fun stuff. My problem with the story is it ran out of gas. You kept the story going after it was over. By the time you actually declared an end, it was very anticlimactic. It just petered out.

I would've preferred him getting together with Sarah or back with Jennie 1. The story ended abruptly with no epilogue to show Jennie1 and Sarah. It really was a nice ending but the ending lacked something and it was rushed. Thanks for the story and take the time needed to execute them as you know the thoughts and emotion need the slow evolving as the rest of the story possessed. Thank you 5 star story!

...but probably not your best work. The inconsistency of the names really hurts the flow of the narrative as the reader keeps having to back up and decide who the author is really talking about. As HIV pointed out, Jenny's behavior was bizarre from the get-go. Sammy described it twice, "she goes all fatal attraction" and "she turned into bitchzilla." This made it hard to believe Sammy's guilt over his actions.

One final point. Now, I'm getting on in years (yeah, I know it's hard to believe, but it's true) and my vision is poor but I still can't find the part about Sammy shoving his gun up his brother's ass.

Seemed to drag a bit. I think it could have ended well with Jenny 1, not much action of any kind after than. That's the trouble with a climax, you have to end it soon, and that would have required a long scene with slick and Jenny either ending with resolution to get together, or not.

A long story that was a great pleasure to read to me. Thanks for sharing I like your style.

very entertaining story thanks

This guy, a real man, would ultimately deteriorate, possibly drink himself to death or take pills.

Why, because he is the mate for life type and his loss due to her betrayal would never leave him. He is the kind that mates for life so I am surprised that you had him keep it together.

Rare, that this type of guy ends up with a great love and wife a second time but you wrote it well. I have to wonder if she isn't the original Jen.

Oh well.

Thanks!

No need to apologize. It is what it is; as you put it out.

Hate having different characters given the same name in a story.

not to bad a few name mix up but other wise good

The only problem is that there are very few "happy endings" out there in real life. Still a good read.

patience outlasts puberty. TK U MLJ LV NV

A little anticlimactic, but enjoyable anyway. 5 stars from me.

"Okay, now's the time you guys can get out your man club and beat me with it."

Nope, no beatings from me. Any man who hasn't had those feelings aren't real men. Acting tough is something any little girl can do. Being a man is something that the noisemakers don't understand.

I just want to say that I really enjoy your stories. This one had a little of everything-love, cheating, revenge and payback, romance-and they were all well put together. I don't like to see editing mistakes, especially ones that could be fixed with some proof-reading, but hey, its a free site. I know that writing these stories with the imagination needed and enjoyable plots and characters, is really difficult. Keep up the good work.

And cliches but all worked into a very good complete story -

Jen1 was just plain stupid - she KNEW how he felt and still let it happen - and yes she let it happen even if she argues she did not plan it -

She was selfish and careless and as a good wife never should have allowed herself to be in the position to be taken advantage of - it did not seem like she was at all averse to the attention so she deserved what he did.

The Sarah character was especially good to see represented - she was a good and honorable person and clearly fun too heh.

My 4 would have been a five if you had just blown them both away.

is that you? long live the internet hard man!

he has no peter, never pays paul, he does have a girlfriend, it's a blowup doll!

a quick note to say watch the continuity in your stories, you swapped sarah for jenny

thanks

but like a tick I hung in there and placed. TK U MLJ LV NV

As with all of the "Q" stories, great character development, plot and dialogue. Thank you for your efforts. Truly appreciated.

Finally a story where the guy gets a gun, stands and delivers! You couldn't let Annie Fucking Oakley from good ole RollaMO be the only one with balls. (Grin)

You don't need to take a 'man club' to a guy like that for a few tears. Remember he kicked ass on the dog beater.

Wonderful story. All the characters seem to have played their parts out well and are very believable.

I've been a tough grader lately, only giving 4 stars even in stories I liked, but HAD to give this one five big ones.

Although I'm happy how it all turned out, I was sort of hoping he would end up with Sarah!

How a person that hated cheating so much, ended cheating?

Writing was pretty good.

Wished there was more about the after affects of her cheating: the why, her reaction, his guilt over the shooting, his feelings. All of this needs attention.

Liked the back story with the coo hounds, adds depth to the storyline. But wish we knew more about the first Jenny.

Liked it.

I rarely comment but I had to this time. I realize that people put their hearts into stories for others to enjoy. If I can't give the author 5 stars for their efforts I do not vote. Even though I may not like the story I'm sure there are many that love it. Just to make it short I find myself giving you 5 stars time and again. Thanks for your time spent so others can escape for a little while.

a psychotic bitch. She actually punished him severely for going to the hunt with his dad but as soon as he didn't do what she wanted she fell on the neighborhood idiot's dick. And stayed on it for a while. I agree about the transition from missionary to doggy being something that shows a great deal of comfort and familiarity. I don't know why you had him feel so bad about shooting them. He should have killed them both for the disloyalty and disrespect that was shown to him. The whole neighborhood had to know something was going on. That type of guy always brags about his conquests and when they steal from someone as straight laced as hubby was they have to crow like a rooster to everyone they know. Jenny was a horrible person. She had the guts to screw around on him but didn't have the nerve to face him. I think whoever said it was right, she knew that he would find out that she had been a whore their entire marriage and was afraid he would kill her. She had to know who shot them.

Good story. Gave it a 4 instead of a 5 but only because he was a wimp sometimes. And not for the crying that he had found someone to love him but because of the remorse he had over shooting the first Jenny and for thinking fond thoughts about her and hoping that she had a good life. I like the thoughts I read in one of the stories by another writer where the shit upon husband hoped that she had a shitty and disgusting life and that she died a painful death, the sooner the better. Tell it like it is.

More like three stories than one, and might have worked better if written that way.

And very well written.

It's funny, he lives in a log house of 700 sq ft that he runs off grid. My wife and I live in one 800sq ft that we run off the grid with solar and genny backup! I wouldn't have it any other way. Right now, I'm running off battery power at 10:35 at night. Not a sound other than if a jet flies over.

"It was more like falling into something wonderful, that surrounded you with warmth and love."

Wow, exactly like it happened to me. I was 12 years old and that is EXACTLY what happened with the little 11 year old neighbor girl. We went off and on over the next 7 years and she was 18 and I was 19 when we realized we couldn't be apart and married. Now, 37 years later, 2 kids and 5 grandkids, we are living the dream!

"I lay there and cried. Not sobbing or anything, but with tears leaking non the less."

Kind of the same for me. Except that I didn't cry. I laughed. Not laugh, more of a chuckle, knowing that my life was truly complete. My wife to be started to become embarrassed because of my laughter, but I explained it was because I was overwhelmed. She understood and I realized, I could have very easily been crying. That was how perfect life was at that moment.

Nice story, Q.

Rednecks....having a coon hunt...on the fourth of July.

REDNECKS having a coon hunt and leaving their families...on the FOURTH of July.

I wish I could bold the font.

This dog don't hunt.

It really gives me a kick when the cuck haters read cucking into a story as if it was a true story and the author somehow didn't know what really happened and in the process completely skew the characters character. I got confused twice when story read Sarah when it really was Jenny and vice versa otherwise a good read.

"Those plans don't include another female, do they?" – So what if they did? They’re not exclusive!

Jenny’s got no excuse! She’s been WARNED, by Sarah, no less, who should certainly know!

“Jenny drove me.” – I think you mean SARAH drove you!

“She was drunk, she was mad at you, and she fell into the spell of a predator." – Like he says, that makes it okay, how?

I know Sarah said she didn’t love him in the “forever, happily ever after way”, and I’m happy she found true love, but I was REALLY pulling for them to decide that they belonged together! At least he didn't take Jenny back!

I’M not as forgiving as he is, I hope Jenny has a miserable life – maybe her husband will cheat on her!

Let's see, after THREE dates and one lunch with her mother, and NO agreement as to exclusivity, she blows up at him for one weekend away with no chance for him to explain., yet HE is expected to accept her actually CHEATING on him when they are MARRIED!

The life style part bothered me but the ending was great. I will continue to read. by the way if I just plain do not like it I will give it a 2 or less but no comment. just my name.

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

I only read a couple stories and already know you are maybe a gifted author. Damn, I know I made a mistake you're going to start charging us now. RIGHT. LOL.

bill.....

Reread this enjoyable little tale.

Chuckle 😀

Good stuff.

but they do finish and are satisfied with it. TK U MLJ LV NV

I made the mistake of reading this at the end of a long and stressful night. I cried, more than once. I felt that empty feeling when you know something is going wrong and can't avert it, like seeing a car wreck happening and then realizing you're in one of the cars.

I am enjoying reading your work, but I can't bear to read more than one or two at a sitting. You are a very powerful writer and I think you will develop your skills further.

Please pay attention to your proof readers, errors tend to jar one's mind. Or mine, anyway, before I lost it. Too many needless things that should (and I hate that word for the implied criticism it entails) have been caught. Nobody is perfect isn't just a cliche' but rather happens to be a natural law.

Thank you for the pleasure and the tears. These let me know I am still alive and more or less human.

Well thought out and well written.

Yes, I will admit, I had tears in my eyes at several points.

Please keep sharing these amazing pieces of literature & erotica.

Where I live no one would bat an eye at a husband shooting his wife and lover. I have seen it happen within my extended family. I am so upset when other writers depict the husband as a wimp when they catch their wives with other men. Men, buy a handgun...take your wife into the backyard...put up a target. Then tell your wife if you ever catch her cheating...BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!...Any questions? Five stars.

I was surprised he didn't end up with Sarah, that's kinda what I was expecting when she arrived in need of comfort, and how generally likeable she has been portrayed.

She was also something of a rarety on literotica, someone with a slutty past that didn't backslide, and was a genuinely good friend.

You are a good writer, more explicit sex then I like, but your stories would be good with or without it. some use it to get out of good writing you do not seem to do that.

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

Still five stars. Still love it. I was hoping that you would have him live happily ever after with the hot best friend rather than introduce a totally new and unrelated character at the end. I have recently grown weary of that plot device, which seems so predictable in this category. I find it better when the new love interest is a character that has been part of the fabric of the whole story. Tends to make it more believable and consistent.

This really needs some more editing, it's pretty off in several places, wrong names, what seems to be a chronological mismatch, typos, etc.

Kinda depressing, and the last part feels tacked on, having him meet someone else, also named Jenny was a mistake that muddied the waters, couldn't make myself care about the last part.

Honestly, instead of the mildly angsty mention of Jenny married, with two kids, while he was floundering (and another editing error it was mentioned in two different places both making it seem like new info), I think there should either have been some kind of reconciliation, or preferably have him end up happy with Sarah, those were the only two of any real weight in the narrative compared to the latecomer.

Everything seemed to be building up to him and Sarah being together, and then it just peetered out, kinda the inverse of plot armor somehow, them ending up together was the only thing that made sense, in my opinion, and it would definitely have been the most narratively satisfying.

Lovely start, the characters were introduced and now for the drama .....

What happened ?

We all guessed Jen 1st was going to do the nasty with Mr slimeball ...... it happened, but from there on the story might as well have finished because nothing else significant occurred.

4* ...... a good read, but you are so much better than this piece of work.

I think page 3 was the best of the story. It just seemed to be all about Sammy and his Temper. I give page 3 a 4. The rest of the story 2.75

Ron

"Sarah was still pissed" - What the fuck does she have to be pissed about? She knew about his coon hunt weekends when they got back together, then she OPENLY threatens him with cheating?!

She has to work every other weekend? Why not schedule her work weekends around his coon hunt weekends?

She got upset at her first husband for not wanting kids until they were "established", now she's doing the same thing!

I know this because I commented about it 10/14/14. It was 5* then, still is.

New impressions are that the choice of the 4th of July block party setting for the shooting along with a coon hunt alabi opportunity is/was very clever, maybe brilliant.

Other new observations are: After nicking Jenny1's clit with ratshot and her suspecting you, I'm surprised she didn't bail out sooner. Must have ruined her sex life. I wondered if a sequel based on the rest Jenny1's life would have been interesting? Then again, not!

Again. Kudos for a fine effort.

.... really didn't deserve another husband and kids, what with not wanting kids with Sam! Her self-centered view of everything in her life sure as hell made her unworthy of Sam! Hope her new husband knows that she's a paranoid, cheating slut!

Like many others, I was rooting for Sarah, and found the introduction of Jenny (2) to be a cop-out. And you continue to mix up characters' names at the most inopportune places in the narrative.

All that said, another fine read! Thanks!

Freeman Feelbad and Sweet thang, sir.

Time to hear them play.

...your way with a story is charming. All characters fully developed and believable with moments heartbreak and finally a bit of salvation. A splendid 5 Star story. Thanks for sharing your talented skills as a wordsmith.

Instead of apologizing for textual errors, the author should be apologizing for even mentioning a "Llama .380" in the same breath as a Remington 1100 and a Smith and

Wesson .40. Even the High Standard .22 revolver is a classier gun than a Llama .380. Eewww. Otherwise, great story. 5 Stars.

I just reread this story, and I still think he should have ended up with Sarah, it would be both more narratively satisfying, and as a character she's more fleshed out, which makes the reader care more.

It would be a better story with a rewrite to fix that.

I really wish people would not get hung up on age differences.This shows up quite often in stories on Literotica,even outside the mature category. You can have things in common with much wider age gaps than the people in this story and have a very good life with them,which Sam realized in the end.He could still outlive her, in spite of what he was thinking.No one knows what will happen tomorrow or even in an hour from now.As was shown by what happened to his Mom.It used to be that age gaps as large or larger(mainly the men being older to have established careers) were the norm not that long ago until someone some where decided that it was wrong,that now you had to be ten years or less apart, preferably the same age.

This is a sad story! The Poor Guy got kicked (figuratively) in the goolies. He spent years and years to get over the Slut! What a waste of his life? Sarah even She was a sad affair! You know what I feel for Him ! Thanks for sharing this Fantastic Story with us! ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

In Jenny(I)’s hospital room it says:

< ...but something was missing. I couldn't place a finger on it. ....

"Please, Don't! It will just make it harder on us down the road. Please, Sammy."

Well, there she was, in all her glory. The first thing I noticed was she was completely shaved....

She was spread like that because one of the pellets grazed her clit. >

What was missing? The hair? It wasnt her clitoris was it? It was “grazed” and not shot off. What in her voice would give either of those away. She WAS injured, so pain would have been present if her clit was missed totally, just grazed, or totally gone anyway. Or is the implication that her clit was now so damaged that it was, in effect, useless, so therefore not just “grazed”, and it was a metaphor for her missing “womanhood”? So THAT was missing? If it was the missing “innocence” then what would be the need to look “down there”? It was gone already anyway, and he knew it.

Also, time frames. “3 years have gone by” and Jenny(I) is remarried and has 2 kids. This was stated after Sarah left post her divorce. Sarah showed up about 2-1/2–3years after the “incident”, and hung around for a few months, if I have my math right. So, is the “3 years” gone by after the “incident”? Or after the 3 years that Sarah has now left, so it is 6 years after the “incident”? Because if it 3 years after the incident, then for Jenny(I) getting remarried AND having 2 kids, this on top of a marriage implosion that is largely her fault, and moving away so needing to meet new people/men, seems pretty fast. She’d take several months getting to know her new community. Several month to a year dating around. Then up to a year for the wedding. That’s at least 2-1/2–3 years. Now add gestation periods? So Sarah showed up right about the time Jenn(I) was getting remarried? Now, after 6 years post divorce, I suppose, that’s totally reasonable. I would GUESS that it was 6 years before meeting Jenny(II). It was just not ever made clear. I should state I was always terrible at this when I was taking english classes in school. “Do they mean this? Or do they mean that? Or maybe they mean this? But with just a little stretch of the imagination it could be that? Or that? Or that? Ad infinitum.”

The time frame thing is no big deal, and I wouldn’t have brought it up (though it does take the bulk of this comment), but since I’m asking the other question I figured I might as well throw it in. No, it’s the “looking under the blanket” question that really gets me. What’s meant there by, “...but something was missing.”

Ok, now that’s off my chest. Just questions I’ve had ligering from a wonderful 5-star story. Thanks.

You needed to concentrate on the details in this story.

Confused Jenny and Sarah a couple times. Grammar slipped up in places, and spelling, e.g. "nonetheless", needs some work.

I did enjoy the story in spite of the writing issues.

RUSHED AND WEAK. That brought it down from 4 to 3 stars from me.

Why in Holy Hell don't you people PROOF READ your work before you post it? It's fucking disgusting to read a good story that's peppered with stupid errors and wrong, misused or misspelled words. What the fuck ever happened to taking pride in doing a good job?

I'm one reader who takes away from the rating for shitty workmanship. More people should do the same thing. Authors who mentally say 'Fuck you. This is how I write... like it or lump it.' can suffer with our 'Fuck you back. This is how I rate shitty workmanship... like it or lump it.'

There ARE authors who take pride in presenting good work. I generally choose to read THEIR stories.

For anyone who disagrees with my sentiments, take a couple of Vicodin, lean over the couch and bite down on a cushion, while I see how well this new wire brush works to treat hemorrhoids.

That he'd shot the whore's clit clean off. Give her a good reminder to keep her fucking legs closed. I hate cheating bitches.

Even if he WAS seeing another woman, they had THREE dates, with NO discussion re: exclusivity. She had no grounds to even be upset, let alone be bitchy.

As he said, she knew about his coon hunting weekends when they got together, if it bothered her that much she should have broken up with him.

I think I said this before, but why doesn't she plan her work weekends around his coon trips. For that matter, she's probably working MORE than he's away.

"she fell into the spell of a predator." - A predator whom she was warned about and blew off everyone's concerns.

I loved this story and it's rollercoaster ride. If you haven't been coon hunting, you don't know what you're missing. All us country boys know about rat shot too. Way to string me along. I thought he found the right one a few times before he got it right. Just a really good story with feeling.

I do westerns -not much now since Louis lamour dead -mysteries sci-fi romance few horror as Stephen King crime etc. Find mistakes in main stream books with professional proof readers etc not as much but there

Now story

Jenny drove to hospital so they could see Jenny and others etc

I can live with these

Not acceptable at least to me in stories understand STORIES

Sarah life style one STD? with rates as high as they are unless always using condoms no way

Temper and only shot privates with rat shot? Beat up some assholes 2? Pulled off

Must not know any Marines

Still liked story 3 stars

It's hard to believe that someone like Jenny1, with her history, would simply say "I didn't mean it, I was angry and I was drunk". So I suppose I felt that there was a hole in the story: was there something else going on?

I enjoyed the build up and the drama of the first three quarters of the story but the ending with Jenny 2 just felt dialed in. I got the impression qhml1 felt like he needed to give this guy a happy ending so he just slapped together this relationship, complete with meet cute, ready-made family, no drama and amazing sex! How ideal....ly boring. The bits with Jenny 1 after she left the hospital were very rushed as well but I accepted that. In all honesty, though, Sam should have ended up with Sarah. At least she was interesting.

I guess it fit, even if it was dull. Sam kept going on and on about cliches and his entire relationship with Jenny 2 wound up being a series of them.