All Comments on 'Bang, You're Dead'

An entertaining read, I'd like to point out some observations.

To me the epilogue seems quite abrupt.

You might want to have an editor give it a once over, there are a few places where the spellchecker seems to have changed your intended words.

Ending a case with prejudice means that case cannot be tried again, your story claims the opposite.

Usually like your stories, but this one bored me to tears. Couldn't finish.

good story, full marks, but for god's sake get an editor.

The better television shows had slowly unfolding and credible drama. Small points which add up and slowly bite the protagonists in the ass.

I assume that as a requested story that this was a rush job. It needed a few more passes by an editor's glance and it is just plain criminal that you don't know how to spell champagne. Small hint: if it is capitalized by the spell checker, it's wrong. The place, not the beverage.

This is a small nit. For the most part, I liked it.

A few steps away from stunning. A little evening out of the focus, including bringing the betrayed spouses more to the forefront, would be welcome. But I thoroughly enjoyed and will be rereading this.

It is not often you get a story about cheating and then actually find out the flawed people are actually good people that got caught up in something that destroyed their worlds and those around them. By the time I was finished up with the story I was impressed with the strength of Rob which contrasted to the weakness he had that blew up his family. I was less impressed with her as she was just a cheating wife that lived for the thrill. She got less than she deserved.

Loved the way you blended everything together.

Well developed tale but

A divorce settlement can't touch disability or SSI. Those are the facts. He could've milked that for a long time given the fact that his ability to support himself had been comprised due to the nature of his injuries. Asshat may have cheated for two years but did take a bullet trying to aprehend an even bigger scumbag. Not taking the side of a cheater but do your research if you want a "real life" ending.

When someone accuses me of not doing my research...well, I have to respond. Do you know anyone who is on SSI? I have a family member who had two hip replacements and can barely walk. It took him 4 yrs. to get on SSI. Simply walking with a limp would never qualify anyone for SSI.

Another quality story from a quality writer. I always look forward to reading your stories. Your stories are never over the top, they are real and believable. A strong 5+++ from me. Thank You.

A few errors as others have pointed out, but the plot was original and had some complexity. Five stars from me.

even the secretary. What a ride! And the way the cheaters were discovered was perfect: all the planning in the world can't protect you from the totally random factors of real life. Just a terrific effort and thank you for sharing. Loved it if you can't tell.

i just read the tan and morgan parts and skimmed the rest. before i type this let be clear not blaming anyone on this site that gives us free entertainment. these event has produced bad typos in good writers my fav writers to boot. all that being said do u guys know any P.I.s, if u did u would know that it is almost the most boring job. 95% is sitting in a car waiting. even more boring to read about it. it may just be me idk, i do know 2 P. I.s they make easy money sitting on their ass taking pic a nice lazy job but boring

Gave it a 4.5 .... Great story but the ending felt ... abbreviated. Maybe just me.

The rest of it .. pretty damn good.

Thx

This and Richard Gerald's were the best of the lot.

but I would have liked more intellectual and emotional details on the nature of their affair. It wasn't just sex. And since it is not explained, I presume that the extent of Bob's seduction was to give Morgan his business card? Then she just called him up and they arranged to start fucking? Cause her husband now had a desk job, and she thought Bob was a hunk worth fucking even before she found out how good the sex would be? And we are to accept that this shallow thoughtless selfish slut was a good wife and mother, and really really did love her husband, whom she was enthusiastically betraying? But, oh, that's right, she did feel guilty about it, except on the day's when Bob's cock was buried to the balls in her vagina, or her mouth, or her anus.

So despite the great plot and complexity and drama and suspense, I kept waiting for this Jekyl/Hyde woman to reveal the mental dysfunction that facilitated destroying her marriage, betraying her entire family, and revealing herself to be without a functioning soul. I am reminded of the line from Ohio's "Scenes From A Marriage," when the betrayed husband sums up his wife's acts of betrayal: "So then it's all just about the fucking?" Women who are that motivated by sex to repeatedly and with great calculation commit adultery, well, they usually have a few other character flaws that are kind of noticeable, in my experience. Actually they reek, in their attitudes, values, and behavior.

So, in this case Morgan was just a really really great actress, in addition to being a really really great fuck, for Bob. But, OK, maybe, why not?

It was still a great story and I thank you for writing it and allowing us to enjoy it. Thank You.

“With prejudice” means a person cannot be charged with the same thing. Bob got off. A “prelim” is a hearing and not a trial.

Yours really captured the noir element inherent in American mystery. Great job. As another pointed out, you really need to change the ‘with prejudice’ line because it’s exactly the opposite of what you meant. And it doesn’t apply at a preliminary hearing anyway because there is no finding of guilt or innocence and thus no ‘double jeopardy’, which is what is prohibited by the constitution. Again, great job. You hit it out of the park!

4.5*, well written but I found it boringly predictable. Once Troy was murdered the story became totally predictable even the faint of Bracken. I just read to the end hoping for a twist! To see if Bob would take out a $2M life-insurance policies then commit an honorable seppuku, by criminal, over what he did to so many. I'm also surprised Bob did not have a DNR/donor in place.

It appears that Morgan decided to live her life in self-purgatory, which could not be healthy for the boys. Once Ian had a new wife I expected Morgan to get two $1m life-insurance policies and accidentally drive her mini-van into a bridge support as her self inflicted grief had all but ended her life.

So far the best

Bob sure paid a price, as did Morgan. Somehow by the end of the story I was hoping it wouldn't be THAT bad for them, but I can see where the ending is credible. Story is a tragedy in the classic sense. Five stars for sure.

He’d make a good protagonist. FWIW, Champaign is the name of a city. Champagne is a alcoholic beverage.

Great story!

As fine a piece of entertainment as anyone can ask to read😁👍!!

Gave you 4*s, you earned it.

The only jarring note was Jimmy expecting to join the C.P. D. in the next 2, 3, or 6 months. That was a laugh 😆. I only know because I live here and have experienced it through my son -in-law. An army sargent M.P. A state trooper, he gave up on C.P. D. after waiting two years.

Sorry, I got sidetracked, lol.

It was interesting to see how you made the cheating and the cheaters the center of the story. The murder was secondary. I believe this was correct for this venue. It's LovingWives 💔not Detective Mystery LovingWives 🕵️‍♂️🔫💥💔. I look forward to how the others balance their stories.

Thanks again laptopwriter, see you around town, lol.

AMerryman

P.S. Three down, many to go ahem😯.

A good editor would help. This was too long and dragged in parts. There were a lot of unforgiving people in this story. And I agree with the one commentator. Maybe it's because I spent years in the construction industry but I know several people on SSI and given his condition and his savvy, he could he protected a LOT of his money from his wife. In real life I know at least one man that protected himself from a slut wife by hiding money and getting SSI which wasn't attachable by the bitches lawyer. Sorry to burst your bubble laptop. Good, but rambling tale.

What Bob and Morgan did was shitty. Don't blame their spouses for divorcing them. But shit, Angie knew Bob for 10 years and was apparently fond of him and the guy tells her that he cheated on his wife, and he himself was being into for the murder of Troy and she instantly abandons him and turns his back on him at his greatest hour of need (losing his family and possibly losing his freedom). Jimmy was a little better, but not much. Their response was not a realistic response of friends. They should have been disappointed in him and perhaps had less respect for him, but what happened to backing your friend when they need you the most. When they had a failing.

Engaging: This certainly matched the stories of JPB and Mainefiddleheads. The pacing moved things along.

Nuanced: I believed in the characters, good and bad. The responses and arguments for their actions were nuanced. If someone has not felt the Thunderbolt before, they really haven't lived and are passionate and shadow souled creatures. Not that this excuses cheating, but it is a powerful impulse to resist. This easily matched the work by RG, who is a master of that particular craft. Jezzaz also wrote a gripping yarn, though I think you barely edged him out because I felt far more sympathy to the PI and his lover than I did the Detective and his spouse in his story.

Meaty: This was a trifle long. But surprisingly, not terribly long. When I looked at the page count, I groaned at nine pages. Yet I did not stop reading. Probably could have lost a page, but seemed to cover the material satisfactorily. In comparison to other stories by RG, who writes massively, the focus stayed where it needed to be: on the cheaters and the consequences of their actions. THAT was a far more momentous drama than some guy scamming abortion money from the government in a prison.

Intricacy: This story had wheels turning within themselves. One of the only comparisons I can make is that of Breaking Bad when Walter needs to use his drug money to do a witness protection for himself and his family, but his cheating bitch of a wife gave the money to her scumbag boss to make the IRS go away. Tiny little rational choices...which still wind up biting a person on the ass. Love that shit!

Drama!: Bad shit has to happen to the protagonist. It just does. This guy, while capable, is NOT a Mary Sue like in another story, where her massive awesomeness has the FBI and Cops shivering in their boots. Bad stuff happened...and happened...and happened some more to the PI. I felt good when the good/bad PI overcame his obstacles instead of the audience being asked to provide blind adulation for a fake character force written to be the baddest of bad asses. If every other character in a story is a moron, falling for the easiest of tricks, who cares about the story?

So IMO, the top tier stories of the MMT are (in no particular order) RG, jezzaz and yourself. All admirable in different ways but memorable in a good way (still shaking off that bad story) Sorry to HDK, JPB, et al, and I didn't READ all the stories submitted (GIM and Todd aren't on my read list)

Just brilliant!! Great character development. To me, it's your best work so far. Love the intro that explains your sense of morality & sets the tone for unforgiving reaction of spouses & Bob's employees to the affair. No happy ending, but so well done. Unalloyedly, five stars. Mega kudos!!!

WS

Why do people think they can get away with cheating and tax avoidance and stuff?

A very well told story, this would work well as a TV series.

Everyone says what a wonderful story that was, but it was actually the most boring show ever produced (Right up there with :"Dances With Wolves") and now we have to add this story to the list too.

I wish I hadn't wasted all the time to read it.

LTW once again wrote a gem for us readers to enjoy. This was well plotted and written. FD45 made some good points about this story. Thanks for the hard work for us readers!

Up to the point it really started to drag on and on. And apparently it did for you too because the spelling errors increased as the pages went by.

"Champaign"? Really?

It's champagne not champaign--a quick check on google or a spell check would tell you that. It's not in the rears, it's in arrears. Those in addition to several other simple avoidable errors prevented me from giving five stars. Otherwise, a good, but very long story.

Really nice story; good characterizations, I thought it flowed well, logical progression, and the plot was believable. Very well done. The length didn't bother me at all, in fact, I love seeing long stories from good writers. It's funny that some complained of the length while also sadly noting it needed more detail about this or that.

I'm sure it's a struggle for each author to weigh and measure - and then ultimately compromise - on how much detail to include, how many paragraphs or pages are needed to develop the backstory, the character's thoughts, dialogue, and feelings, etc. I'm also sure each reader will have an opinion that differs from the author's vision and final resulting story.

I thought you did well, it's a great story. Well written, but we've come to expect that of you. Thanks for posting. 5 stars, of course.

both are married and both cheated on their spouses. The male cheater, his wife takes him through hell, wants medical, alimony, child support and any other dime she can get her hand on. The female cheater, I don't need a lawyer. I know your going to be fair, if not for me for the kids. They still sleep in the same house till he decides to move out.

This is BS, most men aren't this stupid, if your dumb enough to move out of a property you pay for because of a slut, then your a dumb ass. I would rather spend 60 days in jail for contempt of court than to pay for a slut ex-wife to live in a house that I have to pay for.

And this concept of a "good" man doing the right thing is wasted on the whore. Fuck taking the high road. The only thing the high road has ever gotten for anyone is more miles on your car.

...cheaters and often their betrayed spouses do not recognise that (rather than the physical act of adultery) what hurts most are the secrets shared with the lover instead of the marriage partner. Even if the cheaters do not humilate their spouses or talk dirty about their marriage sex, this kind of "intimacy by screts" is the worst aspect of nearly every affair I read about on LW.

In this story, the cheaters share an cloak&dagger game to trick their partners.That is the cruel emotional betrayal and blatant disrespect I myself would not be able to overcome.

BTW: 5* for an excellent story

I enjoyed the story. I can't spell champagne either. Didn't notice other errors; I usually do. Changing names, and dropping/adding some paragraphs and you could have a brand new story with a positive ending, the cheaters are forgiven and live happily ever after, never straying again. But you know that. I gave you a 5 Star review.

I think you mean "so far in arrears." Yes, there is a difference. It is a good thing you make your living with a camera, rather than your laptop....

SKHP Your opinion is one of the 4 main aspects of the adultery-cheating.

1. The first aspect is the general morality aspect, but I think in Literotica LW this is irrelevant...We like BTB stories where the revenge could go over to the top against the cheater spouse and her/his lover sometime and conspiracy and other (very) dirty tricks could move the BTB story to the end redistribution.

2. The emotional shock aspect, what the faithful loving inocent spouse suffers from the cheater spouse. However the emotional shock happens only after the cheating-extramarital affair comes to light.

3. The freedom-liberty aspect is also interesting. The cheater spouses are thives, special time robbers. The innocent faithful spouse have not time to decide his/her future in his/her marriage because the cheater spouses throught the time stealing decrease the freedom-liberty of the innocent faithful spouse.

4. The 4th aspect what you showed in your comment also fantastic interesting. Appealing of family secrets to others is also a part of the cheating and extramarital affairs .

So the cheating main 4 negative aspects are the General Morality side, the Emotional disaster side, the Freedom side, the Family transparancy for strangers side.

The 4th aspect is similar important as the other 3 aspects sometimes it more dangerose to the future of the common (bastard) kids as well!

HDK's was funniest. Yours was the best. Every story I have read on this site has mispellings, tense and grammar issues, albeit mostly minor ones.

I felt no sympathy for Bob. His hubris and horniness led to the destruction of two families. Four( ?) Your children had lives shattered because he pursued a married woman.

He bragged about how good he was yet he made the simplest of mistakes. The car Morgan used was tied directly to him. Supposedly they only met every 5 or 6 weeks, but the time they were caught was just days after the previous time. Then he insists on a big goodbye bang.

Those last two times, breaking the pattern ruined everything.

A very, very, very small part of me felt sorry for Morgan. Am quite certain Bob convinced her to cheat by repeatedly assuring her he was the best of the best and had all bases covered.

They were also close friends to Cindy and the kids. Andrea said it best as she walked out.

Bob preached the moral high road. He caught hundreds of cheaters and boasted about it. He saw first hand all those spouses devastation.

Always almost impossible to stick by cheater when you are close to family. Sends message you condone behavior.

Bob had no reason to cheat...he just saw something he wanted and did not care she was married.

I would say to johnadp

WHO NEEDS FRIENDS LIKE BOB?

You’d think a writer as good as this would know you aren’t drinking a town in Illinois.

Think of it, the grudging adversarial relationship between the damaged crime solving P.I. and the cynical/idealistic newsman, with the remorseful ex wife/ex lover in the background stirring up trouble. Robert lusts for Morgan who pines for Ian who dotes on Marilyn - and Cindy in the wings to make Robert’s life more miserable. Haha! Sounds more like a bad sitcom - or a Janet Evanovich sequel. Seriously, though, great characters, well plotted interweaving story lines. The definitive Pyrrhic victory. Quite entertaining. And your signature Plato’s makes its obligatory appearance like an Alfred Hitchcock cameo! Thanks*****

that was brilliant, well done.

The characters were developed well and the plot left us with at least 2, or more, competing theories of the murder. Distrucion of multiple families was sad but expected. Great job!

A brilliantly told story, well written, cleverly plotted and with charcters that were believeably drawn. My only criticism is that in establishing the flawed nature of the main character I got to see very little of any decency in the man and so could not decide if he was MEANT to be a good but flawed man or a right bastard with a remaining vestige of virtue. Troy, the dead man was I think both the best drawn and the most likeable with Ian a close second.

Neverthless it was a compelling and entertaining read

5*

I was kinda surprised when it turned out that Bob was the main character, a nice twist to make the cheating story less cliched.

His POV made the ending a complete downer though, so I can't say I really enjoyed the story all that much.

However, it was a very sad tale. It was a real downer as no one came out of it unscathed.

Thank you for sharing your efforts to entertain us with this masterpiece. It was so well constructed and emotionally charged that I was frustrated when I had to put it down for a while.

You're the best!

It is scary how good all your stories are!

Like some others, was a little concerned with the editing. Maybe auto-correct got you in a couple of places. For me, it was Morgan's nipple being one of her "ergonomist zones." No doubt in my mind she was well equipped, and her breasts pillow soft. I know mine are one of my erogenous zones as well. ~M

There were no winners as usual in these circumstances. I know it doesn’t really need it but I would have like to have seen the story carry on with more of Ian and Morgan. Maybe even work it out at some point in the future. Bob deserved his consequences of the affair.

the entire story hinges on a dad knowingly putting his daughter in the path of a man he changed states to get away from rather than reveal he had an affair. I get that people can be pretty messed up/selfish, but that is pretty weak for the key plot point IMO. Aside from that and some weird/obvious editing issues I enjoyed the story. Excellent character development. Pacing was excellent. This one is a solid four stars for me.

I almost, almost felt sorry for old Bob and Morgan at the end, but their fucking selfishness, arrogance, and smugness at the beginning of the story made sure none of that nonsense accidentally crept into my thinking!

Thanks again for writing it, I definitely enjoyed it.

I couldn’t wait to find out what was actually going on. It was a very engaging storyline. I enjoyed it a lot! Thank you.

They certainly looked ''erogenousized'' in your photo.

How stupid is Bob, the self-described best PI?

The cops told him they knew about affair. Instead of giving false story, if he told them he was with Morgan, he would never have been arrested and charged. Most likely the affair would not have become public knowledge. He could have easily convinced her to tell police as that was only chance of keeping lid on that info.

Troy took photos with one of firms expensive cameras. Given nature of their business, cameras would certainly have been set to record time stamp on photos.

Huge whole in your excellent story. Almost as big as the miraculous Masengill appearance in reedrichards one time farce

This was a really good, well developed story although a bit longer than necessary.

Keep up the good work! Too bad for Ian as recovery must have been extremely difficult and the brief "he met a wonderful new woman" rarely repairs the hurt.

Tiny Tim

now we look at the ruination of several friends, family, associates and their families and relatives, a no win, TK U MLJ LV NV

Tout est dans le titre.

Megan a de la veine que IAN demande le divorce. Incapable de la moindre écoute, arrogant, sûr de lui, incapable de la moindre écoute et du bien-être de ses enfants. Egoiste et egocentrique. Quand à Robert, l'admiration de ses enfants pour leur beau-père, c'est trop beau pour être vrai. Un peu de sens de la réalité et d'humanisme ne nuit pas.

(Anonyme car je ne me promène pas avec mon mot de passe !!)

Earlier comment I mentioned time stamp on Troy's photos but forgot that was earlier day.

However, desk clerk at motel could have confirmed when Bob checked in and out.

Still true he could have provided true alibi which Morgan would have confirmed for simple reason.

Alibi keeps Bob from being arrested and then charged. Morgan would have understood that was only way to keep affair secret.

And this was the first story of the MMT I've read.

I really enjoyed it and found it very intriguing with a very good depth of plot with entertaining and interesting characters.

If all the other stories are as good as this, I'm in for a very good treat as I plod my way through all these offerings!

This is (hopefully these are) so much better than the usual tripe!

Full marks from me for sure!! * * * * *

Thank you Laptopwriter for sharing and please keep writing!!

The story did what it set out to do. It is not easy to write a tale about a flawed good guy. Full marks. Thank you for the offering.

My favorite story in the MMT. Great job, as usual. Great to see Ian get his shot.

Yeah, my favorite too. Others have already pointed out all the good things about this story but the one part I really liked was this small piece as Ian contemplates Morgan’s affair and what it really means (my emphasis with capitals):

“Oh well, he cursed under his breath, whatever the reason, it was painfully obvious to him that THE LOVE SHE FELT FOR HIM WASN’T NEARLY AS STRONG AS THE LOVE HE FELT FOR HER. I guess that sums it up, he thought. She simply didn't love me enough.”

Amen, brother. A universal truth despite so many authors trying to spin it other ways, so 5 stars from me.

"We're both happily married with families" - Happily married people don't cheat.

"ergonomist zones" - LOL! "erogenous"

"conscious" - Conscience!

Even without an "exciting" job, it's always more exciting without worrying about kids, dirty dishes and taking out the garbage!

MAYBE Robert IS that much better a lover, but if he knew that she wanted it (and would allow him to do it!), maybe Ian would like to sometimes forego the "tender love making" and pound her like a slut!

"We have to talk. Call me during the day." - Why talk? Just tell her it's over!

Arghh! Not the "Farewell Fuck"! That never works out well!

The other pictures are out there, the affair's going to come out even if she DOESN'T alibi Robert,

"sorted" - I've seen this one before. It's "sordid."

"The caress of his fingertips sparked the depths of her passion." - NOW she feels passion for her husband!

As others have said, in order to bring the charges again, they must be dismissed WITHOUT prejudice, not WITH prejudice.

There was probably little chance for her, but MAYBE if she had been able to confess to Ian first there might have been a chance, maybe her explaining the infrequency of her trysts might have lessened the blow.

Bob has extra incentive besides his friendship to find Troy's murderer: It was Troy's murder that exposed the affair!

What's with the frozen peas? They have no ice or an ice pack?

One thing always puzzles me about splitting the sale of the house. He has to pay for a new place to live, possibly paying the mortgage even though he's not living in the house, there should be an adjustment made before the split.

"Hell, if he'd had time to get that second shot off we wouldn't even be here." - ?? Did I miss something here?

He should keep his 401k.

Reward money? - I can see taking enough for his arrears and for an escrow for the remainder, but that only left $3,000?

Well while at the end of the day Robert was burned by his own choices, the fact that the wife use his children to punish him further was too much. Morgan well her sentence was more "easy" then again if only she have listened Robert when he ask help, she could be escape this one without a scracht. The other characters were well rounded and developed even if their parts were small.

Great story.

Decades ago some doctors and physical therapists started recommending them as recourse to bagging ice cupes. Of course you would need to have the peas.

The reason given were bags of frozen peas easily conformed closely around the injury.

I found that to be true. Thing is you had to cook peas after they thawed....or identify that bag as injury peas and re-freeze. FREEZER BURN ALERT

as well as a solved crime story. I was happy to see that knowing who was the killer was not enough to end it.

Hit the mystery angle, and also hit the tropes of LW. Impressed you did it under a deadline. Full throttled 5 stars.

5 starrs

Loved all of the angles and the way Ian Played out was Positive. as for Robert tough shit.

You outdid yourself on this one LTW. You've long been on my fave list as well as some of your stories. Easily 5*.

There is one thing I don't understand tho...not about your story but stories where a guy is betrayed, thinks of the good yrs he and his wife spent together and almost cuts his own throat in being generous with his now ex. I could not do that. Once betrayed and found out, the enemy is clear. I get you can't kill her but the house, 401K...actually I don't know what that is except some sort of pension program I guess. I retired long ago nicely but didn't have a 401 or even know they existed then, split up the money 50/50 or better, alimony etc. I simply don't get why a man would do that. I get the child support and maybe sort of 50/50 on savings, like in this case she was not a direct contributer to their finances, still she kept house and took care of kids so I reckon that's worth something as far as splitting savings, but the overall generosity often expressed by betrayed, hurt, dissed,and humiliated husband is simply beyond me.

Other than my own question on an off topic of your story, this was great! Thank you!

Great read, 5 stars. Only gripe is that she was worried and feeling guilty about the whole thing but she never came out and apologized to him for the whole thing. Then again when you been fucking some guy behind your husband’s back for two years…

It seems as though no one knows the difference.

Champaign is a city in Illinois.

Champagne is sparkling wine that you drink to celebrate breaking up each other marriages.

I can get by the most common problem in the LW category.... it’s CHAMPAGNE!

But I just could not get past the ERGONOMIST ZONE at the beginning. These errors set the tone for acceptance of the entire work.

Your stories are so good, I really want to read one some day that’s not filled with really stupid errors.

I didn't like the begining at all and thought about abandoning it, but the authors reputation made me finish. Glad I did, was a really good story. That 2 dollar nickel roll was a cool idea.

Another great story by laptopwriter

Another load of garbage,a nine page story that should have been told in three.

Bob should have been the one shot in the head and died. Troy was a good person that suffered because of a cheating wife. I do not think the wife suffered enough. Ian should have kicked her to the curb and kept the house and custody of the boys. Ian did nothing wrong but be a faithful husband. I like the part where big, bad Bob got busted in the face and KOed by said newspaper editor.

One problem I had is Robert s set up for Troy's killer. The police never would let it go down like that. Letting a civilian be the bait. It would have to be done with much higher ups involved.and a cop in the closet .

was the guy at the end named Ingram or Ingstrom? you kept switching between the two.

While this story has some flaws, LTWer's skills were severely tested in this tale. The feint was tedious. The amalgam of byzantine financial undulations manifested in Troy's late night cyber spelunking was a red herring that never made any sense lest the agrieved spouse had spilled the frijoles and there was no indication of those hitting the fan. The other oopsies are just mere queefs and Willing Suspension of Dischampagne easily crushes things like date/time stamps, prejudiced courts and a small time hood with resources to concoct mayhem ad infinitum.

This is the draft to one of the best stories I will ever read. I have rarely told an author to do anything. I would be impertinent to suggest Lap Top do anything. However, this shit has legs and heart.

Thanks for the read. Great characters, intriguing story and who doesn't love revenge and redemption. Apologies to LordSlam but this comment seemed long winded. Thanks for a great read.

Not sure about your description of Bob as a ''flawed good guy''

A Good guy does not intentionally seduce another man's wife - especially if she is a mother.

A good guy is not as obviously arrogansubsequentob was. A PI who boasted about his ability to catch cheating spouses, and repeatedly used that record to convince Morgan she need not worry about them getting caught.

His 100 per cent guarantee compelled her to put aside that fear and actually begin affair. Absent his boastful repeated assurances she never would have agreed to affair. She certainly confided her fear of being caught, and thoughts of ending affair numerous times. A little arithmetic, with every 5 or 6 weeks the schedule of their meetings, adds up to 20+- over two years. During that time he states he has told her at least 100 times she was worrying needlessly.

His reaction was oh pooh pooh.

Then add in his denigrating contempt filled remark about Ian and his no longer being investigative reporter.

For some reason I came away feeling sorry for Morgan. I realize she was no innocent bystander, but the supposed world's greatest PI and his attorney could both have prevented his arrest and the subsequent public outing of the affair.

When asked where he was at time of murder, if Bob told the truth and explained situation to detectives, confirmation could and would have been discreet.

Furthermore, he gave his word to Troy he would end affair immediately, but within hours broke that oath.

Flawed? More than a little. Extremely arrogant seducer and cheat. Betrayer of everyone's trust!

Good guy? Not even close!

A real enjoyable and entertaining story. Another 'smart pair of cheaters' that were going to end it but decided on one last fling. As soon as she decided to go through with the 'one last fling', I just knew trouble was coming.

The only thing I don't understand is why the husband was so nice and generous to the cheating wife. She had a 2 year affair and he decides to be the nice guy??? Yes, they had kids but he should have went after the kids.

Thank you for a very enjoyable story with lots of twists and turns and a happy ending for the 2 non-cheaters.

Good story, but a downer. When the two protagonists are the ones left sad and lonely, it can’t be a feel good story except for the bitter BTB readers who revel in this kind of thing.

While I thought this story was very good, I cannot understan why you did not include a very important part of it.

You describe how the lovers met, the initial attraction, and

Robert giving Morgan his card. However, you do not answer critical question. Who called who to arrange first one on one meeting. Would ccompletely change my view of her if she made that call.

Also absent is the description of their first few meetings in which they explore feelings and if or how to proceed. Those meetings are fundamental to your story and inexplicable, at least to me, why you failed to include a detailed description of them in your story.

My guess is Mr. Alpha Male, Bob, called her and worked very hard to convince her that there was ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCE that an affair could ever be found out.

Perhaps you will explain your thinking in a comment. My take on the character you ascribed to Morgan would not allow her to call Bob.

I will yours. A Literotica page is approx 3500 words long. The average paperback page is approx 250 words long. 9 Literotica pages equals 126 paperback pages. These are supposed to be short stories. We as writers can not include every detail, every nuance in a short story. If we did it would become very long and very boring. We have to pick and chose what scenes to write in detail and which scenes we just glance over or suggest things happening.

You mentioned I did not say who called who first, Morgan or Bob. You're not going to like the answer but think, who gave their card to whom? Morgan had Bob's number. He did not have hers. So-who called first? Now, did he work hard to convince her they wouldn't get caught? Of course he did. How do we know? Because he was still working hard to convince her two years into the affair.

I know everyone has certain expectation when reading a story. I try to never make my characters act completely contrary to normal behavior but that does not mean everyone acts the same under various circumstances.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story in spite of my leaving out some details. I hope you will enjoy more of my stories and thank you for your feedback.

Very wordy and depressing a 3 from me.

Great story, crapy ending.

I think it was a great story. And, I thought it ended the way it should. My comment is on all cheating spouses who profess their undying love to their spouses, then carry on a torrid two year affair. The only person Morgan truly loved was Morgan. She was an absolute liar and cheater. Her true nature was revealed when she refused to even testify that Bob wasn’t guilty of murder. That is one low class self loving piece of trash. If anyone in this story deserved real pain it was Morgan. Bob was a fatalist who believed he got what he deserved. Atleast he put his life on the line to catch the killer. As for Ian, why hire a lawyer if your not going to let him protect your interests. Morgan didn’t deserve his generosity, in the least.

Thank you for answering my comment. I have read all your stories and believe ''Weaver'' is Hall of Fame. Not sure if it misses because it is .03 points from 4.8

But no matter, I only wish you had time to write more stories.

I did consider the answer you said I would not like. Admittedly I let my predjudices against the character of your PI sway me. I accept your version as it is your story.

However, I read into line of his alpha ''I have to have her'' male mindset, then the fact he knew her name, her husband, and he was the best PI ever, he could easily find out her number, his lust compelling him to get that easily obtainable info.

My addition came to a different sum than yours.

For some reason, I wanted to bolster up my sympathy for her. Not usually one for giving sympathy to wife engaging in such a long affair. But your writing touched something in me that I cannot explain.

In the beginning of your response, your explanation of how long this story was amazed me. Longer than some paperbacks I read.

I did not mean to in anyway offend you by my comment. Never my intent. My sincerest apologies if I did.

Once again, I appreciate your responding.

Rarely do I answer comments but sometimes, after seeing similar comments of aspects that follow from one story to the next, I will comment just to try and set the record straight.

I didn't mean to pick on you. I enjoy your comments and hope I didn't sound mean spirited or that I was angry. That certainly wasn't the case.

Thanks again,

LTW

This was a good one.

Morgan is a whore who should suffer greatly forever. Her lover got almost enough pain, but still is a piece of shit.

Good plot nicely developed. However, LTW, you need a good editor, or at least invest in a dictionary. Ergonomist zone?! It's erogenous zone. Plus some more! A good writer should not be handicapped like this.

'Sorted affair'? Shouldn't that be 'sordid'? Perhaps using word completion isn't the best idea.

What did I Glean from this Story! Bob was a right Asshole! Morgan was a Submissive! Ian well He was--- No right answer is Betrayed and he got to hit Bob

The rest of the Story ( One more time that was Bob & Morgan's downfall)

As per Story! I felt Sorry for Morgan! ......Anyway that's my Comment ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

Oh Story was enjoyable!

Not your best work ever, but good. Way better than I can do...and probably better than most of the other super critical commentators. 4+*

Second reading of one of my favorite stories. I like the long, detailed, complex stories that keep me engaged for a long time. This one scores high in every area. Bob and Morgan were not good people who had bad things happen to them. They were liars, cheaters, and arrogant asses. They deserved the Karmic justice that destroyed them. The only good people were the familes, friends, and co-workers who lives were also destroyed by cheaters and their infidelity. They couldn't resist one last time and it destroyed everyone. Absolutely great story.