Beacon of Humanity

I had consciously decided to not track the days I was here but the island was far enough from the equator that I could approximately estimate the date based on the path of the sun and basic weather patterns. Therefore, I knew that roughly three years, give or take a couple of months, had passed since I had arrived on the island when the quiet peace of my refuge was disturbed. I had just settled on the trunk of a fallen palm tree with my fishing pole when I first heard it. A faint rumbling noise. The artificial sound was so alien that it took me a while to understand what it was. My first thought was an earthquake but the noise didn't stop. As it slowly got louder, I realised that it was an engine I heard.

Nobody but Rasheem knew where exactly I was and I had told my Mum only the general location but I was certain that neither had told anyone about my whereabouts, so either it was a random visitor or my friend was coming to look for me. Maybe I should have turned on the phone at least occasionally. That would have made it easier for him to keep his promise.

It was low tide and there was no way of safely approaching the beach for some time so I was in no hurry to check who it was. With a potential guest in mind, I didn't stop after catching the first fish but patiently set my pole for more. Soon I had reeled in another two and then unhurriedly walked towards my hut. The time on my own had taught me to do things at my own speed. Everything happened when it happened. Not earlier and not later. With some by now practised movements, I gutted the fishes and prepared them for cooking. A glance out my window showed that the tide was almost high enough for a boat to beach. It wouldn't be long until I had my first visitor on this island.

I strolled to where I expected the boat to wait for the right water level to land. Hiding behind a couple of palm trees I checked on my visitors. It was a large yacht, suited for the open sea between mainland Australia and my little island but with too much draught to enter the atoll. It kept a safe distance from the reef, maybe six hundred metres away from the beachline. I saw people on deck but couldn't make out how many and even less who they were. I was still patiently waiting for the visitors to make a move when a small dinghy appeared from behind the yacht. As it approached, I could identify my trusted friend but that left the question who the people were that he had left behind on the yacht.

I waited until he had beached the small boat before I stepped forward from my hiding place. As soon as I left my cover, I heard a scream from the yacht which caused Rasheem, who had been focused on securing his vessel, to look back out to the source of the noise. Even at this distance, I recognised the voice immediately. Barbara. She waved her hands and jumped up and down, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Hi, my friend," I greeted him, making his head snap in my direction.

"Mr Fischer, what a relief to find you alive and well. We feared the worst."

I shook my head.

"Seriously? Even here on this island, even after all these years, you still don't call me Seb?"

The difference in speech rate was kind of amusing. Compared to me, Rasheem was rushing through his sentences.

"Force of habit. How are you, Sebastian? You've grown a beard."

Even when he said my first name, it still sounded like he addressed me with a title but at least the comment about my facial hair was delivered with a wink. I hadn't bothered with shaving and only trimmed it when it got long enough to disturb me.

"At peace. Yourself?"

He hesitated with his reply. Ironically, he had never liked to talk about himself while at the same time putting me on stages to hold speeches and answer uncountable questions about me.

"I have your mother and a friend on board the ship. Would it be ok if I bring them?"

"Why is she here?"

I didn't refer to my mother. It was self-explanatory why she had come as she had never agreed with my reasoning to isolate myself. I was asking about Barbara.

"She's worried. We all were. She has been besieging me almost since you disappeared to let her speak to you. But you never answered when we called your phone. I expected to find a decaying corpse. That's why I insisted to come ashore alone, at first."

I had never considered the effect my disappearance might have on others, so I didn't really know what to reply to this. I had thought about what the public in general might say but I never wondered about individuals. My Mum and Rasheem were the only persons I had explained my reasons to and they had sworn to keep them as secret as my hideout.

"I had no reason to turn it on."

"I'll go and pick them up. Ok?"

They had travelled half the globe to find me, so I agreed that Rasheem could bring them. While he carefully navigated through the coral reefs, I sat down on a rock and waited. I wasn't sure how I felt about Barbara coming here. I had made my peace with the fact that my solitude was fate's price for humanity's survival. If she had come here to convince me to return to the civilisation, she would fail just like my mother and Rasheem had failed three years ago.

I watched them approach, Barbara standing as far on the bow as she could. Impatiently, she jumped from the dinghy when it was still a few metres out and waded ashore. As she reached shallower water, she picked up speed until she sprinted the short distance to where I had risen from my seat.

"I'm sorry," was the only thing she said before throwing herself at me, tackling me. As soon as we hit the ground, she covered my face with kisses.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I deserted you. I'm sorry, I left you to fend on your own. I'm sorry, I didn't understand how much you needed me. Please forgive me. I love you. No matter what happens in the future, I'll always be at your side."

She was talking and kissing at the same time and I was totally overwhelmed with both the emotions she was pouring over me and the speed with which she did it. I hadn't talked to anyone but myself for the last couple of years and was suddenly flooded with so much input, I didn't find the opportunity to reply. It took Barbara quite some time before she noticed that I wasn't responding. When she did, she misinterpreted my behaviour.

"You don't want me anymore. I shouldn't have come. I'm sorry."

She started to get up, trying to get away and that finally made me act. I grabbed her arm.

"Barbara, wait."

She stopped, looking down at me, tears brimming in her eyes.

"I'm glad you came."

Compared to her, I spoke in slow motion.

"I'm glad you came," I repeated. "Just a little overwhelmed."

Somebody cleared her throat.

"Mum!"

Somewhat reluctantly, Barbara and I untangled and rose. I walked over to hug my mum. After properly welcoming the three to my refuge, I invited them to eat. I grilled some vegetables and the fish, and even split and cut up a coconut. While we ate, they brought me up to date on what was happening at home. They soon realised that the global political and economic struggles didn't hold my interest, so they focused on the people I knew. Marriages, divorces, births, deaths. I found it difficult to keep up with them, both because of the amount of information they heaped on me and the speed with which they did it. It was very different from what I had experienced since I had arrived on the island.

They also amused me by telling me about all the different explanations they had encountered after my sudden disappearance. Killed by Big Pharma for not letting them make a profit. Ascended to heaven to join whichever god or prophet the person telling the story believed in. Fallen victim to a new type of the Dark Fever while researching a cure. Abducted by aliens. Kidnapped (and murdered) by an evil organisation - far left to far right, religious extremists to atheists or anything in between, again depending on the narrator - because 'my' Cure ended their hopes of world domination. There were even some stories where I was the bad guy who had gone into hiding after my attempt at becoming the world's absolute ruler had failed thanks to whatever group they supported.

They showed me some websites of groups that had dedicated themselves to find out what had happened to me and they also showed me news-reports of people who had cited my disappearance as the main reason for them to commit suicide.

But most people believed Rasheem and Mum when they had told the press that I needed to go through a self-discovery process after all the hustle that had dominated my life for almost ten years. After catching up for a few hours, Rasheem went on a walk to show my mother the island. This left Barbara and me alone to talk.

After a minute of uncomfortable silence, it was Barbara who spoke first.

"Can you forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive. You were overwhelmed by the situation. I had years to get used to it and still had difficulties dealing with it. After you had withdrawn to protect yourself, I tried to date but no one saw me as a person. It was always about that ubermensch everybody made me out to be. I just couldn't be around that without having someone to share my burden. It was - it is - too much for me to face on my own. That's why I came here. On this island, I'm only responsible for myself. There's nobody, I have to be strong for, nobody who needs me for inspiration or for guidance, nobody who wants a picture with me or my autograph. I understand that it was too much for you. I don't blame you. You can't look after somebody else unless you look after yourself first."

She took my hand, looking at it intently, probably to avoid having to maintain eye-contact. She felt my skin, traced my veins, and outlined my fingers. She was obviously preparing a statement and I gave her the time she needed. When she was ready, she lifted her face to look at me.

"Whether it's here or at home or anywhere else, I want to be at your side. I want to give strength when you're exhausted and love when you're feeling down but I don't know if I can do it twenty-four hours a day."

I took hold of the finger that was sliding along my palm and pulled her hand to my mouth. Softly kissing her fingers, I felt a teardrop run down my cheek.

"Of course, you can't. Nobody can. None of us is superhuman but hopefully, we're stronger together than alone. But I don't want you to do it because you feel obligated. Unless you do it for yourself, I cannot accept the gift you're offering. If you do it for humanity or for me, it's bound to fail and that would destroy me. I'd rather stay here on my own and know you live the life you want than making you go through even parts of what I've been through. I can be happy here as long as I know that you're happy wherever you are."

She pulled me in an embrace but after only a couple of seconds, she started searching my lips with hers. She playfully teased my lips with her tongue a few times before she pulled back and spoke again.

"Sebastian Fischer." She hesitated for a moment, reconsidering her statement. "Seb. Since we parted ways to go to our different universities, I know that the life I want is one where you and I stand side by side. The circumstances have changed. My love for you hasn't. Nothing else matters."

"I love you, too, Barbara. More than you can possibly know."

"So, you take me back?"

"It's not so much a taking back but rather a 'welcoming home'."

She moved to complete the kiss but at the last moment burst out in tears, so I just pulled her in a close embrace. It was in this position that Mum and Rasheem found us a few minutes later, returning from the short trip around the island. My mother didn't hesitate and joined in the hug as fast as she could. Rasheem, his normal well-controlled and polite self, stood next to us, smiling.

Mum raved about the island. I could understand that. After all, it was a tropical paradise but I also knew that she thought it way to crude. The lack of electricity or running water wasn't something she would want to get used to but for me, they had been fundamental in my soul-searching. We talked some more until I brought up the topic of lack of suitable sleeping options on the island and the tide which made a decision necessary. Rasheem and my mother returned to the yacht, citing the sanitary facilities as the main reason for doing so. But the fact that Barbara had not broken physical contact since they had joined us after the sight-seeing-tour certainly also played a role in their decision. They knew what would happen later and didn't want to be witnesses to that specific reunion.

We wished each other a good night and then my Mum and Rasheem climbed aboard the dinghy. Barbara pulled my arm over her shoulders and held me around the waist as we watched the two drive back to the yacht. We waited in that position until they were safely on board. After a last wave, we turned around and walked back towards my hut.

I hadn't been with a woman since this whole mess had started eleven years ago and wasn't sure what to expect. While the Dark Fever was raging, we all were working until we were too exhausted to do anything but sleep. After the press conference at which the Cure was announced, I was pulled into the whirlwind that dominated my life for the few next years. Finding somebody to help me with my relief had been impossible, due to my status as a global icon. But I needn't have worried. As soon as we entered my abode, Barbara pulled me close for a kiss and from there on, everything happened almost by itself. In the warm climate of the region, we weren't wearing many clothes to start with and it didn't take us long to lose those we did. When Barbara removed my shorts, she discovered that I was already hard and before I could even contemplate foreplay, she had me on my back and my erection enveloped by her slick, silky folds. Our fingers were intertwined and she held my hands firmly next to my shoulders as she moved slowly up and down on top of me.

As much as I wanted this reunion to last, it was over in less than a minute and Barbara was covering my face with cute little kisses as I tried to apologize for my abysmal performance.

"I'm sorry, Honey. That wasn't the glorious lovemaking you probably hoped for. You got nothing but a sticky mess out of it."

She kept on kissing me, squeezing her words in between.

"I got you. What else could I possibly want?"

"An orgasm?"

She replied by giving me a long and deep kiss.

"I got emotional fulfilment. That's much better."

She kept me inside of her, showering me with affection until the inevitable happened and I got hard again. The second round was just as caring but lasted much longer and this time, I was able to hold out long enough for Barbara to also achieve an orgasm. Not to mention the third time which seemed to last forever and was more like an extended make-out session during which my erection happened to be firmly lodged in her pussy. Sometime in the early hours, Barbara fell asleep. But no matter how sexually satisfied I was, my mind kept me awake.

What should I do now? I couldn't guarantee Barbara's well-being on this island. What if something happened to her? Or me, and she wasn't able to help? But I was also scared of what would happen if I left my isolation.

The horizon was already starting to get brighter before I came to a conclusion. Living on the island had been acceptable as long as it was just me. If something happened it would have been my problem alone. But I couldn't and wouldn't do this to Barbara. I didn't even think it was necessary as I felt that, with her by my side, I would be able to face all challenges the world could throw at me and if we developed a re-entry-strategy with Rasheem, we might be able to return with too much furore. The next morning when I asked her opinion, she dismissed it by telling me she didn't care where we lived. It took a bit convincing that in order for us to be together she had to be an equal member of our partnership. I wouldn't tolerate that she, or anybody, would treat her as some kind of appendix. Finally, she admitted that she'd prefer to live somewhere at least slightly more civilized where she didn't have to catch her own dinner every day but could go to a supermarket at least once in a while and occasionally meet with friends.

When I mentioned the house I still owned, it was quickly decided that we would return to the town where we had both lived before I secluded myself. It was a nice, unremarkable house in a nondescript suburb and both our families lived close.

+

Mum and Rasheem left the island the next day while Barbara and I stayed back for another month to re-acquaint ourselves with one another. It may come as a surprise but while we did make love often, we spent most of the time talking. I told her how powerless I had felt when I unsuccessfully tried to stop the hero worshipping and how it had felt to stand in the centre of a huge stadium filled with a hundred thousand cheering people, holding a speech I had already given countless times but still feeling all alone. That I was permanently surrounded by other people but always on my own. How much I had longed for a simple thing like an embrace or a beer with the guys. That I had been singled out from a group of people by drawing a match whose head had been pinched off.

She, in turn, described the helplessness everybody had felt because there had been nothing you could do but wait for the Dark Fever to strike. The fear they felt whenever somebody in their vicinity became a victim. The despair when you had to watch somebody you loved succumb to the disease.

It helped both of us a lot to understand why everything had happened the way it had. The people had felt deserted by their friends, let down by their governments, and forsaken by their gods. When they were given somebody new to believe in, they latched on to the opportunity.

With Rasheem's help we made a detailed plan for my return. He hadn't lost his touch at all during my isolation. He operated with several assumptions, probabilities and alternative options about when and where how big crowds would show up.

I was back on the mainland for about two minutes when I was first recognised. Barbara had convinced me to let her shave my beard which, while being a very sensual experience, might not have been the best idea. We were walking through the harbour to a waiting limo when I heard my name being whispered. Luckily, we were in the car leaving for the airport before we could draw a crowd.

The pilot of the chartered plane that took us to Sydney promised to keep quiet until we had left for Singapore in return for an exclusive selfie which he was allowed use for advertising. Mobile pictures of me at the harbour had gone viral on various social media platforms by now and some of the smarter journalists were expecting the travelling party at the Kingsford Smith International Airport. Rasheem pulled some strings and threw the weight of my name into the mix to make sure that we were able to board the aircraft taking us out of Sidney untroubled.

That flight was less calm. It didn't take long until the passengers knew I was on board. The airlines communication system had never been used so intensely as during this flight. That also meant that hundreds of media representatives were waiting for us when we arrived in Singapore. Fortunately, as we had a connecting flight already booked, we stayed within the part of the airport where only connecting passengers were allowed. We found a quiet corner in a lounge where we could spend the roughly two-hour layover in peace.

If we had thought that the commotion after the eight-and-a-half hour flight from Sydney to Singapore was extraordinary, we were shown wrong upon our arrival in Zurich. The public and the media had had almost a full day to prepare since my departure from Australia and we were received by an enormous crowd. But we had expected this. While still in the air, Rasheem had used his contacts to set the prepared plans in motion for a press conference during which I would give a speech but not answer any questions.