All Comments on 'Because I'm Your Sister Ch. 01'

Hottest stuff I've read here in a while, can't wait to read more!

Waiting for chapter 2. Thanks

One of the hottest stories I have read lately. Please keep up the awesome work.

From about the second sentence I had the feeling that I had read this story before. It was a good story but it was either a resubmitted story or previously submitted by someone else. Can give zero so ONE STAR.

Great! Give Danny a dusting of hair on that muscular chest, something for Lily to ogle and caress!

I really enjoyed this one! Please write more! (And it didn't look familiar to me)

5 stars

I loved this first chapter. I can't wait to start on chapter 2!..

Great story and a fantastic plot with build up but I think you should have not ha for to where Danny goes into lilys room then they fuck. I think it should have had more tension to the characters and drag the story further. 4 stars

lucky lad eh?

That was fucking hot...

I am really into siblings and father daughter stuff, but this was borderline hot.. ;)

OMG that was amazing. man I wish I had a sister....lol

This sounded so good, I was able to feel the love when reading it. Specially because I have a thing for my sis

This story was borderline hot, im not so much into incest but lily reminds me soo much of my gf, and btw she is the same oppinion! xD

It really gave us a great time while and especially after reading it. ;)

Keep up with your stories

5/5 stars

Its really pretty good so far! I think it is a little heavy on the adjectives but all in all... I was pretty disappointed that she had taken her own cherry with a dildo, for some reason that kinda ruined the 'first time' part of the story for me. I know its not even remotely the same but it'd be like him fucking the brunette at school in the ass. 'I'm not in love with her and since its up the ass I'm not really losing my virginity, just getting off! When I fuck my sisters lil pussy then I'll be losing my virginity!'

Yeah, I know, I know... But my brain just kept thinking 'something's already been up un my sister, I'm not the first one in there, she's already used to being filled up.'

....well it makes no sense, really, but at least you can see where I'm coming from there...

so good so far I will tell u it has a lot of thing that I have ben talking to my girl friend about this story and we have boath liked it so far.

You seem obsessed with adjectives, as if they are necessary to heighten arousal and make the story better. She has "tiny" hands and a "tight" vagina. Tiny is an odd description, not an arousing one. You, of course shoot "jets" of come. Start removing the silly, cliche words and your story will improve. As written, it is lousy.

He spend half of his life fuckin wanking

Overall I think the story was good, but needs work. My biggest complaint would be how much you belabor a point. Eventually I started to read only the first sentence of each paragraph until I reached a point where you moved on in the story.

The second issue I had was your use of the word cumslut. You went to great lengths to convince us how much Dan loved Lilly, and was in love with her, only to have her being referred to as a cumslut before they've even had sex. Maybe it's just me, but I don't find that to be a term of endearment. Perhaps once you get a couple chapters into the story and their sex life is well established, but it doesnt work that early in the story.

Mike

If I called my sis my cumslut she would without doubt withdraw from further activities and cut my balls off.Too much and far to many adjectives.Needs work and more chapters.you never seem to cover being discovered and I can tell you from experience that's where the fireworks are.it would make the story mor rounded rather than a jerkoff assistant for those without.Could be good but not yet upto other stories on this site.To much Anal too AGAIN.she just asked me what I've been reading,she's read it and agrees with what I've said.Cumslut and anal a definate turnoff for her.

Wow, some harsh comments out there, lol! ;).

Overall I loved the story... Pretty tired here and kept catching myself falling asleep reading it so I might need to reread it later though to be more objective.

I agree cumslut seemed out of place... We dont really have a lot of verbal interaction between the two to establish what kind of language they're comfortable using though, but still seems odd. I hate reading, say, a daddy/daughter story and all of a sudden he's calling her his slut and whore... TOTAL fucking turnoff and seemingly out of character... Yeah, like another said, maybe down the line after they've talked about this stuff and they think it might be fun, but just throwing it out there like that? Nope! Hell, unless my wife asked for something like that (I still wouldnt like it) I wouldn't dare just throw it out there, I like living, lol!

I think the only descriptive that I didn't care for was 'meaty', lol. When I picture him describing her round ass like that I picture a big round ass that may look ok in jeans, but clothes off its fat dimples and stretch marks:/. ...then again, to me a big ass just gets in the way, lol. Kinda like big tits to me, they may look nice pushed up in a bra wrapped in clothes, but out in the open they're just huge oversized things that get in the way, usually stretching out what would have been a cute areola. Ok, Im being synical, most guys like big boobs I guess:/. Give me an A or a B with puffy aerolas and perky nipples and Im good! :)

I'm perfectly ok without the parents catching them, hell Im perfectly ok without any outside conflict besides what the two are dealing with personally! After a while it gets old and its nice to see a story that doesnt have all that.

Off to the next chapter, thanks for writing!!

Excellent description. I felt like i was watching this happen

Reread this. Danny did not initially call her a cumslut . She was the one who started it.

"No I'm not," she persisted, sulkily, still jacking me off, "all the porn stars can do it. I wanted to do it too, Danny, for you. I wanted to be my brother's personal cumslut."

That was perfection

Sweetly erotic. Not a combination I would have thought to put together but it works soooo well. Can't wait to read more of your writing.

If only I could have my time again with my sister in the modern world. We didnt have porn to help precipitate hot times...we just had ourselves. I am not saying it wasnt good, it was great and went on for years. She loved jerking me off and playing with my balls. We would spend days naked and fooling around when the folks were away on holidays and I can really reccomend it as far as sibling sex education goes, its a great start in life.

Never mind literary critics. It's made me wank,a few times.

This is a very sensual hot story that is excellent!!!!

This a good story by the talented, but occasionally too verbose, ZenZerker.

This story features a particular fetish: a man cums in a woman’s ass and keeps going. The man can ejaculate twice or even thrice without pulling out after the anal creampie or he can pull out and then immediately reinsert to continue the act.

I leave this comment as a marker in order to help identify more stories with this kind of fetish.

You can check my favourites for other examples that I have already identified.

Please message me or copy this message under a story to help expand the collection.

Thanks!

A VERY GOOD STORY BUT A BIT LONG ON THE SEX AND SHORT ON STORY. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT AFTER THE WEEKEND OF SEX. HAPPY EVER AFTER?

. Then, too much sex description. not so good.

was too long and too sweet, so before continuing on I decided to read his bio and found out he writes mostly anal and sy/fy. After reading the comments, I decided to pass.

Ok before I finish reading the story and give my actual thoughts just wanted to say you need to pay better attention to the words you use cause you first stated she had a flat but soft stomach and shortly after you said she had voluptuous body which is it you can't have a voluptuous body and have a flat stomach look up what voluptuous means dude ok now I'll finish reading

I enjoyed a few of his stories f then read this one. I think writing is better, but I’m tired of the butt fucking. I gave this 4 stars.

Bill S.