Beer, Pussy, and Wienerschnitzel

This is a re-post

There is no sex in this story.

*****

Beer, Pussy, and Wienerschnitzel ... What more could a guy ask for?

Mandy (Amanda) and I were married for 13 years before she lost control of her car on an icy patch of Highway 36 outside of Lyons, Colorado, and tumbled down an embankment to her death. It took me almost two years before my life started to get back to normal.

I was six when my family moved to Longmont, Colorado. We moved into a house on Bowen Street right next door to the Roman family. They had three children. Two sons and Amanda. She was also six. My family had four children. All boys.

Mandy and I went through school, up to and including college, together. Her degree was in Chemistry and she was hired by a pharmaceutical company two months before graduation. My degree is in Business. It took me several months after graduation to become gainfully employed, but when I did it was for an international company with headquarters in Denver. Both of our places of employment were in downtown Denver and were fairly close to each other so we rode together most days. We always planned to move from Longmont to Denver, but we never got around to it.

Mandy wanted to get married right after graduation, but I wanted to wait until I had a job. Three months after I started, we were married in the Episcopal Church in Longmont both of our families attended.

We never dated anyone other than each other our entire lives. In fact, the only person other than Mandy I ever kissed on the lips was my Aunt Sally. Actually, I never kissed her; but she invariably kissed me, and I hated it. I remember making sure I always had a handkerchief to wipe my mouth when I knew she was coming to visit us or we were going to visit her.

I could say that the years we were married were the happiest years of my life, but that would be wrong. The totality of my life from age six onward was the happiest because Mandy was always there. I do not recall a single major argument or disagreement between us that entire time. Even my desire that we wait to get married was accepted without argument. It's wasn't that I controlled our lives. I didn't have to argue with her. I gave in to her just as often as she gave in to me. It was a true fifty-fifty relationship.

Even now when I think of her my heart smiles.

As far as our sex life is concerned, suffice it to say that we thought it was pretty good although neither of us had anything to compare it to ... except a few porno movies we watched in hotel rooms during our travels. Almost every time we had sex, she would look at me with a gleam in her eye and a smile on her face and ask. "Do you think you can handle this?"

I miss her.

I have already mentioned that it took almost two years for my life to start getting back to normal. My family, her family, all of our friends, co-workers of both of us; all encouraged me to 'have dates' or 'get a girlfriend' or 'take a vacation'.

One evening I was watching television in the living room I had shared with Mandy. A commercial came on for a cruise on the Rhine River. I remembered watching the same, or almost the same, commercial with her. Commercials like that all seem very similar. Occasionally, after seeing an ad like this, she and I would discuss the possibility of actually taking one of those cruises. As I said, I had seen it many times over the years, but for some reason this time I really watched it and decided that I would do it.

So, I did some research. There was a 13 day cruise from Zurich, Switzerland to Amsterdam, The Netherlands, which caught my interest. I hadn't had a vacation since before Mandy died so I told my boss what I was considering. Not only did he think it was a good idea, he encouraged me to do it.

"Listen, Matt. I think I can sweeten the pot. Our plant in Westbury, England, has been doing great and I was going to go over there and pass out some bonus checks. You could do me a favor and do it for me while you are over there."

"That'll work. You pay all of my airfare and expenses for that portion of my trip and I'll do it; but I've decided that I'm going first class."

"Get with the travel department when you get your schedule. We'll spring for business class on the airplane. If you want to upgrade from there, it's on you. Fair enough?"

"Fair enough."

"Have them call me if there are any questions."

Within two weeks, I had booked my suite on the ship, made my airline reservations, and applied for a passport. Mandy and I talked about getting passports, but we never did. I was starting to develop a little excitement about the cruise. Here I was 39 years old and had never been out of the United States.

The flight over was fantastic. On board the airplane before 'push back' we were served our choice of drinks. The lady in the cubicle next to mine seemed to enjoy Champagne. After we were airborne, the flight attendant asked her if she wanted another glass. The lady replied. "Only if the bottle is open."

The flight attendant went away and we heard the 'pop' of the cork. She brought the lady her glass and said: "In first class the bottle is always open."

I was going to play tourist for a couple of days in Zurich before boarding the ship. After landing and clearing customs and immigration, I was met by my driver who took me to my hotel. I wanted to spend the day walking around, but jet lag was kicking my ass so I went to bed. I did manage to tour that beautiful city the next day, however, and doing it with a private car and driver was the only way to go.

The day came to board the ship. The hotel was one that the cruise company used, so a bus picked up three of us, then picked up more at another hotel, then another and so on until the bus was full, then we headed for Basel and the ship.

Once there, we boarded and were shown our cabins; or, in my case, suite. There were two suites onboard. When I was shown into the suite, I was really glad I had decided to go first class. It was very nice and my luggage, somehow, was already there, so I unpacked before touring the ship.

Common areas were somewhat lacking; the largest being the dining room which doubled as theatre, auditorium, and ballroom. The top, outside deck was, by far, the most popular area and was the location of the welcome reception, buffet, and sail-away party.

The buffet had been removed and most of the passengers were standing, sitting, dancing, drinking and otherwise just generally socializing. I'd had difficulty in social situations since Mandy died and found myself with a rare bottle of beer leaning over the rail watching the traffic on the road alongside the river. All of the tables were occupied and I didn't feel much like sharing. I was beginning to regret my decision to make this trip. I took a sip of beer and turned to go down to my suite when I heard a voice.

"You may sit here if you like." Said a voice with what appeared to be a British accent.

"Excuse me?"

"I said you may sit here if you like."

I looked and there was a man about my age sitting by himself at a table with three empty chairs.

"No, thank you. I was just going to my cabin."

"Suit yourself, but I could use the company."

What the hell; so I sat. "Matt. Matt O'Reilly." I said extending my hand.

Taking it he responded, "David Bryan. You cruising alone?"

"Yes. You?"

"No, my wife is around here someplace. Is this your first Rhine cruise?"

"It's my first cruise of any kind. You?"

"Oh, no. We've been on eight river cruises so far."

"So you must really enjoy them."

"My wife more than me."

So we sat and chatted. Before I knew it, he had ordered another drink for both of us. A beer for me, and a gin and tonic for himself. I'm not usually a beer drinker, but had always heard that European beer was the best; so, I figured I would try it. Since the cruise started in Switzerland, they had a local beer on board and I was drinking a bottle of it. It was 'Ueli' and was good. I found out later that it was a microbrew and was usually just served in a couple of restaurants but was available on this ship in limited quantities.

Our chat covered lots of territory. We talked about it being my first trip and he explained what I should expect. I learned they had been on this ship before; and had already been onboard for a week. It seems they like the crew and the ship. They were also in the only other suite onboard, so we were neighbors.

Almost two hours and two Ueli's later, his wife joined us. An attractive lady, she bounced up to us and kissed her husband on the forehead.

"Did you have fun?" He asked.

"Yes, I did," she said with a grin.

"Gwen, this is Matt. Matt, my wife Gwendolyn."

I stood and reached my hand out. "My pleasure, Gwendolyn."

"Likewise, and it's Gwen, please. Has my husband been boring you?" She asked as she sat and took a sip of his drink."

"Not at all. It was the other way around I'm sure."

So we sat and chatted for another thirty minutes. Finally, he said. "I suppose it's time we went below dear. Ready?"

"Of course."

She stood and walked to stand behind him.

I stood and watched as she pulled his wheelchair out and started to push him away. "Nice meeting you, Matt. I'm sure we'll be seeing more of you."

The whole time we were sitting there, I had not noticed that he was in a wheelchair.

My first night aboard I slept like a log...I'm sure the Ueli's helped. The next morning found us in Breisach, Germany, and I was on a bus for an excursion to the Black Forest. It was a rather large bus but only half full. Our first stop was at a woodworking shop where they made nutcrackers. I appreciate people who work with their hands and it was fun to watch these craftsmen. Several of our group bought nutcrackers. After our tour and lunch in a local restaurant ... and another local beer ... we loaded on the bus for the trip back to the ship. About thirty minutes into the trip, the bus hit a bump and something fell from the luggage rack above me and hit me on the head.

A yelp immediately came from the seat behind me and no sooner had I been hit than a very attractive woman plopped into the empty seat beside me, grabbed the offending object - which turned out to be a nutcracker - tossed it over the seat, and started examining my head.

"Blimey. Are you all right? Oh, no, you're not; you're bleedin'. Oh, my god."

"I'm fine." I told her, not wanting to draw any more attention to myself, even though my head hurt like a bitch.

"No, you're not. You're bleedin'." She insisted.

Apparently, there was a minor cut on my head with a couple of drops of blood, but she acted as if I were dying. After she was convinced that I would neither bleed to death nor go into shock, she calmed down. Her name was Maier Valmai Wilkinson, but everybody called her Val; and she was from Birmingham, England, and she and her brother owned several Chippy's (fish and chip shops) around town. I also learned that, in her opinion, cod was the only fish reputable shops would use.

And so it went for the rest of the trip back to the ship. I sat and listened to her almost constant chatter and smiled the entire time. By the time we were back on board, it was decided, by her, that I should have dinner with her and her friends.

When I arrived for dinner, Val was sitting with a couple. She introduced them as her oldest friends. John and Cynthia Halford. Dinner was fun. We had Wienerschnitzel with Spatzle (a kind of noodle thing and very tasty) and salad ... plus I had the obligatory beer. It was the best meal I had in a long time. The food was great and the company was even better. As I did on the bus, I listened much more than I talked. Listening to the three of them was a treat. The stories were never ending and the jokes, for the most part, were hilarious.

After dinner the four of us went back upstairs to the top deck where a German 'Oompah' band was playing and beer was flowing. We found a table and for the rest of the evening, sipped beer and talked.

The next day, we were in Strasbourg, France. Val and I spent the day walking around. We visited the Gothic Cathedral (her idea) and the medieval section of the city (my idea). We were near the ship when we saw David and Gwendolyn Bryan going aboard. Two of the crew were aiding him as she watched. The cruise director supervised.

"You've heard about them, I suppose," said Val.

"I had a couple of drinks with them. Sad, really. I wonder what happened to him."

"Don't know, but my cabin steward says she spends a lot of time with the Cruise Director."

"Really?"

"The rumor is that he can't ... you know ... he can't ... shag anymore; so they come on river cruises to give her a chance to get some."

"We've just been on the ship for a couple of days and you found that out already?"

"I guess people just tell me things."

We made our way on board and agreed to have dinner together.

And so it went for three more days. The Halford's, Val, and I spent most of our time together. They were curious as to why I was cruising alone. I told them I had lost my wife and that was my first vacation in a long time. I also told a bit about my job and that I was going to Westbury, England, at the end of the cruise, and that I would be there for a day on business. They told me that they had been to Florida, but never to Colorado.

One evening the four of us sat in my suite, had a few drinks and watched the world go by. I decided that I could get used to that lifestyle.

Then things changed. Half of my vacation had gone by. I had seen and briefly chatted with the Bryan's; both together and individually several times. And I had heard the same thing Val had told me about them. On two occasions, I had seen her with the Cruise Director. The first time I had just left David on the top deck chatting with someone and was going into my suite when the door to the Bryan suite opened and the Cruise director came out. He nodded to me as we passed.

The other time, I saw her coming out of the crew section of the ship. Passengers were not normally allowed there.

That evening we had another buffet on the top deck; brats, sauerkraut and beer. I ate until I was stuffed and drank until I was a bit tipsy. Val and I were sitting at a table when David wheeled himself up and asked if he could join us. Val hesitated, but I said, sure.

A member of the crew moved a chair to make room for the wheelchair while another crewmember put David's plate of food and bottle of beer on the table. We talked for a while and finally he asked. "Matt, are you going to the castle tomorrow?" The castle he was referring to one was one of only two on the Rhine River which had not been destroyed. It had been owned by the same family for 800 years.

"I certainly am. Wouldn't miss it."

"How about you, Mrs. Wilkinson? Are you going?"

"I've seen my share of castles. My friends and I are going to a vineyard." She said, not trying to hide her disdain for him.

"How about you, David? Are you and Gwen going?" I asked.

"Not me. They are not set up to handle my chair and me. But Gwen would like to go. Would you consider letting her tag along with you?"

"Sure." As soon as I said it, I knew it was the wrong thing to say. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Val shoot a look in my direction; and it wasn't a very nice look.

We talked for another 30 minutes or so; well, mostly David and I talked. Val was uncharacteristically quiet. Later I was walking her to her cabin and she spoke. "Are you really taking her with you tomorrow?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"Well, you know her reputation."

"So?"

"Do you plan to shag her?"

I stopped and looked at her. "What did you say?"

"Do you plan to shag her?"

"Of course not. Why would you even ask?"

"Because she's been shagging the Cruise Director."

"Even if that's true, it doesn't mean that I'm going to fuc ... er ... shag her."

"Well, if you go with her, the other passengers will think you did."

"I don't give a give a good goddamn what the other passengers think. How the Bryans, or anybody else, decide to live their lives is of no concern to me or anybody else. One of the big problems in this world is that we don't mind our own business."

There was a long silence as we continued the walk to her cabin. At her door, I asked. "Are we still on for dinner tomorrow?"

"I don't think so."

She unlocked her door and went in. Neither of us said good night or good-bye.

David and Gwen were just coming down the hallway when I got to my suite.

"Good evening, Matt," said Gwen. "David told me about tomorrow. I'll meet you at the gangway at nine. Okay?"

"Of course."

In the week we had been on the ship, David and Gwen had been nothing but nice to me. What they did in their private lives was of no concern to me. And to my way of thinking it was nobody else's concern either.

At nine the next morning I was standing by the gangway when Gwen came up to me. "Ready?"

She smiled and said, "Let's go."

"Hey, wait a second, you two."

I looked back at the ship to see Val and the Halfords running toward us.

"Do you have room for three more?"

I just looked at them. Val looked directly at me, smiled sheepishly, and shrugged her shoulders. I sat beside Gwen on the bus which took us to the castle.

So the five of us went to the castle and had a perfect day. There was lots of laughter, jokes, and stories, as there generally seemed to be when Val was around. When we arrived back at the ship, Gwen kissed me on the cheek in the European manner, thanked me and walked away. Then Val took both of my hands in hers and kissed me the same way.

"Thank you for a lovely day. And thank you for being the man you are. See you at dinner?"

I nodded. Quite a change from last night.

Dinner was interesting. Val and the Halfords, were, again, seated when I arrived. I had always heard that Brits felt that, if they weren't five minutes early for everything, they felt like they were late. There was some small talk before and after we ordered our drinks and dinner. After the drinks arrived, John Halford proposed a toast. "May those of us who sometimes go out of our way to find fault with, and condemn, others, find better uses for our time." We all clinked our glasses.

Then we went on to discuss why it was none of our business what the Bryans, or anybody else, did.

"Matt, I'm so ashamed of the way I acted with Mr. Bryan. Cynthia, John, and I talked about it last night and we agree that whatever they do is, and should be, none of our business...unless they want it to be. He has been nothing but nice and kind to me during the few times we have spent time together. And Gwen is a dear. We thoroughly enjoyed spending the day with her."

After dinner, Val and I went, again, to the top deck. David and Gwen were at a table alone.

"May we join you?" Asked Val

"Certainly. Gwen was just telling me about your day."

"Oh, my goodness, it was delightful." Said Val. And she was off. The Val I had learned to know...the funny, talkative one was back. She had been talking almost steadily for 30 minutes when our Cruise Director walked up to the table. He walked over and put his arm around Gwen, who reached up and patted his hand.

"Good evening," he said. "I hope you're enjoying the cruise, so far."

Val and I looked at each other before repeating the greeting.

Gwen spoke. "Val, Matt, I'd like for you to meet my brother. Thomas Smythe. You know him as Tommy."

"Your brother?" Asked Val darting her head between Tommy and Gwen.

Laughing, David said. "I'm afraid so."

"Well, bugger."

We all laughed.

We stayed and talked for a while longer before excusing ourselves. We started walking along the deck.

"I have some nice wine in my room if you're interested," I volunteered.

"That would be nice." Val responded.